Hey, this is a thing we are still doing. And since new episodes are still airing we figured we'd actually try and finish off this season. Cool.
Alex: It's my fault that this is going out so very late. SORRY, guys (but not really because I hate this show and feel entirely justified in putting it off as long as possible).
Mari: Fair.
A crime van pulls up along a curb. A bunch of people get off, including one dude who was stuffed in the itty bitty trunk, even though there are at least three rows of seats in the van proper. Your friends suck, mate.
The five criminals walk in a line and Trunk Dude whips out his RED HOOD. The boss man asks him WTF is up with the hood and the Sucky Mates wonder if they should've gotten hoods too. Boss Man look a little put-off but not enough to stop the heist. They bust into the bank and Red Hood pushes to the front and starts with the dramatics, yelling at everyone that they just want the money and hopping up on the teller desk.
The five criminals walk in a line and Trunk Dude whips out his RED HOOD. The boss man asks him WTF is up with the hood and the Sucky Mates wonder if they should've gotten hoods too. Boss Man look a little put-off but not enough to stop the heist. They bust into the bank and Red Hood pushes to the front and starts with the dramatics, yelling at everyone that they just want the money and hopping up on the teller desk.
We open with a few quick establishing shots of various Gotham residents: Bruce is asleep on the sofa, his murder-investigation notebook open on his lap. Penguin is proudly watching his mother singing on stage in his new club. Fish wakes up on the floor of her prison and claps her hands, giving her fellow captives permission to get up and drink some water.
Clocktower Apartment and OH, GOODIE. Barbara’s back. (M: NOOOOOO.) She arrives home wearing a sexy black dress to find Selina and Ivy camped out in the living room. Selina explains that Jim dropped off his keys last week.
Clocktower Apartment and OH, GOODIE. Barbara’s back. (M: NOOOOOO.) She arrives home wearing a sexy black dress to find Selina and Ivy camped out in the living room. Selina explains that Jim dropped off his keys last week.
It’s a stormy night in Gotham. (M: WHAT?! It's usually so bright and cheery.) A random guy with white hair arrives home to his Generic Gotham Apartment and grumbles about the wind blowing through an open window. He goes to shut it, but two guys in hoodies appear and grab him as he screams in terror.
Fish wakes up on the floor in some kind of prison, dashing my hopes that her leaving Gotham the city for a while also meant she would be leaving Gotham the show. Sigh. She asks the friendly-looking guy nearby if she’s dreaming, and he replies that he hopes so. Two scary-looking thugs saunter over, chuckling to themselves.
Fish wakes up on the floor in some kind of prison, dashing my hopes that her leaving Gotham the city for a while also meant she would be leaving Gotham the show. Sigh. She asks the friendly-looking guy nearby if she’s dreaming, and he replies that he hopes so. Two scary-looking thugs saunter over, chuckling to themselves.
Yes, I'm doing another Gotham recap because we're real behind and Sweeney is "too busy" to do these recaps. Mmmhmm.
Kidding! I love Sweeney and am totally okay taking one for the team. I also expect an extra round or two of alcohol when I see her face in April. So.
Sweeney: I mean, you already resolved to steal all the wine all the time always because of some other thing that happened in some other recap. I don't really remember except that you're gonna steal wine and also I'm tired and now I'm also stalling because fuck this show. But yeah, sure, lots-o-booze, girl. Promise, promise.
Kidding! I love Sweeney and am totally okay taking one for the team. I also expect an extra round or two of alcohol when I see her face in April. So.
Sweeney: I mean, you already resolved to steal all the wine all the time always because of some other thing that happened in some other recap. I don't really remember except that you're gonna steal wine and also I'm tired and now I'm also stalling because fuck this show. But yeah, sure, lots-o-booze, girl. Promise, promise.
Murder Warehouse. You can tell by the lighting. Fish is brought in and strapped to a table. She laughs a little even when the transport baddies introduce her to Bob, her torturer. Bob even does a little evil rubber glove snapping, because we need at least one cliche in the first minute, amIright?
Sweeney: We watch a lot of TV - this show is just trying to helpfully assure us that we're on the right show.
Mari: Jada Pinkett Smith and a cliche? Yep. Gotham.
Sweeney: We watch a lot of TV - this show is just trying to helpfully assure us that we're on the right show.
Mari: Jada Pinkett Smith and a cliche? Yep. Gotham.
It’s been nearly two months since I last wrote a Gotham recap, but it still feels like this one came around far too quickly. I know Sweeney and Mari have been feeling really guilty about asking me to recap this show with them, and all I can say is…
I have no idea what I did this weekend, except discover that procrastinating the watching of Gotham is an amazing way to make a weekend absolutely disappear. Somewhere in the procrastination fever dream of my weekend, I watched half a season of X-Men: The Animated Series because I was sick and decided to extend my Gotham-vacation.
I don't ever wanna go home!
But alas, even the best vacations must end.
Let's do this.
But alas, even the best vacations must end.
Let's do this.
I truly thought last episode was the last one before winter break, so I resent this episode already.
Alex: Whereas I didn't even know we were getting a winter break until several days after watching this episode, which was an unexpected and welcome surprise.
Sweeney: It's hard for me to consider anything Gotham-related a welcome surprise, but I appreciate your optimism. It makes me extra glad we have you around.
Alex: Whereas I didn't even know we were getting a winter break until several days after watching this episode, which was an unexpected and welcome surprise.
Sweeney: It's hard for me to consider anything Gotham-related a welcome surprise, but I appreciate your optimism. It makes me extra glad we have you around.
Gordon arrives home to an empty apartment, bringing Selina with him. While Selina heads into the kitchen to help herself to food, he reads Barbara’s note in which she apologises for being so jumpy and useless lately, and says she’s leaving town for a while to pull herself together. (M: I even hate Barbara when her presence is merely implied by a letter.) Gordon gets a phone call, so Selina takes the opportunity to sneak a look at the note and pry into Gordon’s personal life while she swigs from a bottle of milk. I see what you did there, show. Selina is the future cow-woman!
A very worried man in suspenders is trying to make his way unnoticed through an what looks like an office/storage area. He slips on a ski mask and makes a run for it, but another identically dressed man leaps out at him. A fight ensues, and it's a little hard to keep track of what's going on because I don't know who is who. One Ski Mask Man rips the blade off a paper cutter and uses that to attack the Two Ski Mask Man. All said and done, One Ski Mask Man cuts Two's finger off, but in the end, it is Two who wrestles away the blade and hacks One to death. Two lifts off his mask and reveals he is not the original, very worried man we saw. RIP Very Worried Man. We never knew ye. Two looks toward a nearby survellaince camera and now we're watching him on the video. He lifts his arm in some sort of salute at whoever is watching him.
The episode begins with the camera centered on Penguin's Umbrella. Does that mean that the cameraman gets the star? You know, I'll give it out again if somebody says it for real, but since the cinematographer is my favorite member of the crew, (s)he and the cameraman can share an honorary star. Here you go!
Marines: I feel like if there is anywhere where we can play fast and loose with the star rules it's with this show.
Marines: I feel like if there is anywhere where we can play fast and loose with the star rules it's with this show.
The consensus last week seemed to be that the episode was about 2% better than the previous ones, so things might slowly be moving in the right direction. That said, this episode is called ‘Spirit of the Goat’, so don’t hold your breath.
Sweeney: I think the trick is in keeping our expectations nice and low. Terrible show, terrible titles, etc., etc. so that we end up pleased if it even achieves general mediocrity.
Sweeney: I think the trick is in keeping our expectations nice and low. Terrible show, terrible titles, etc., etc. so that we end up pleased if it even achieves general mediocrity.
The general consensus around #gothamsnark this week seemed to be, "ugh, I have to watch Gotham now." Let me just add, "UGH. I HAVE TO RECAP GOTHAM NOW." More importantly, though, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING STILL.
Here's to you:
Sweeney: Someone on Twitter (a) was confused by my watching this show and then (b) admired our dedication. A toast to all of us who see things through to the end even as it defies our own self-interest so blatantly.
Alex: Thirded. I am so touched (and only slightly confused) by everyone's commitment to watching along with us. You guys are the best!
Here's to you:
Sweeney: Someone on Twitter (a) was confused by my watching this show and then (b) admired our dedication. A toast to all of us who see things through to the end even as it defies our own self-interest so blatantly.
Alex: Thirded. I am so touched (and only slightly confused) by everyone's commitment to watching along with us. You guys are the best!
We begin where the last episode ended, with Oswald arriving at Jim's door. Barbara shows him in and he introduces himself as Peter, a friend of Jim's. Barbara is lovely and jokes about not getting to meet Jim's friends. Jim walks Oswald out to have a chat about work things.
Alex: Oh, whoops. I totally assumed Barbara knew who Oswald was at the end of the last recap. Apparently not. But I'm sure that when she opened the door last week she looked worried, whereas now she's just being all charming and upbeat.
Marines: I mean, every other character in this show has been all, "YOU. PENGUIN." so it wasn't unreasonably to assume that she would also guess who he was. But no.
Alex: Oh, whoops. I totally assumed Barbara knew who Oswald was at the end of the last recap. Apparently not. But I'm sure that when she opened the door last week she looked worried, whereas now she's just being all charming and upbeat.
Marines: I mean, every other character in this show has been all, "YOU. PENGUIN." so it wasn't unreasonably to assume that she would also guess who he was. But no.
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