After that fabulous curb hanger, Jake makes Bella prove that she knows how to use the motorbike by demanding to know where various controls are. After a FULL PAGE of that shit, he tells her that she's ready to actually start moving. Obviously, she freaks the fuck out. He tells her to pretend the clutch is a live hand grenade so that she won't let go of it????? This strategy would have me getting the fuck off the motorbike, but we all know that Bella's nowhere near as smart as me.
This episode begins Three Months Ago at Lord Technologies. Carlisle Lord enters his creepy room where he's creepily keeping the Jane Doe. A doctor is looking her over and Carlisle Maxwell strokes her hair, like a creep. Did you know that I find this creepy? (M: Only because I'm good at subtext.) He hits a button and black liquid flows through her IV, while anxious espionage music plays. She starts coughing and seizing and then her eyes open, black, as we've seen them before. Then Maxwell Carlisle does the "She's alive!" Dr. Frankenstein bit.
Previously: Bella paid attention her “friends” for the first time in months. — Catherine: For some reason Bella thinks that it’d be a super great idea to go visit the...
We open with Bella talking about how these motorcycles that they plan to fix up don't need any other hiding beyond being in Jacob's garage, because Billy can't get his wheelchair into the garage.
Marines: Oh, well, I guess his disability worked out to your advantage then...? Hooray for you?
Catherine: Mmm, still risky. Probably should go ahead and blind him, too.
Kirsti: Maybe deafen him too. You never know, he might overhear you talking about bikes.
Marines: Oh, well, I guess his disability worked out to your advantage then...? Hooray for you?
Catherine: Mmm, still risky. Probably should go ahead and blind him, too.
Kirsti: Maybe deafen him too. You never know, he might overhear you talking about bikes.
Previously: Bella walked towards some skeevy guys and heard Edward’s voice in her head. — Marines: Now would be a good a time as any to link you to this interesting...
Lucky me, I get the aftermath of the breakup! -_-
Marines: Bad news for us all: the aftermath of the breakup is basically the entire rest of this book.
K: Hooray.
In typical SMeyer fashion, we can't just read about time passing. No, no. We have to do it in the most dramatic style possible: four pages, each with a month written in the middle of it. Because, like, Bella has zero life without Edward. Geddit?
Marines: Bad news for us all: the aftermath of the breakup is basically the entire rest of this book.
K: Hooray.
In typical SMeyer fashion, we can't just read about time passing. No, no. We have to do it in the most dramatic style possible: four pages, each with a month written in the middle of it. Because, like, Bella has zero life without Edward. Geddit?
Gosh, I just can't seem to remember if anything important or significant happens in this chapter.
Annie: Does anything important or significant ever happen in SMeyer's books until she remembers that they should have a plot in Chapter 22? My prediction is no.
Catherine: I guess we'll have to read on and see.
Annie: Does anything important or significant ever happen in SMeyer's books until she remembers that they should have a plot in Chapter 22? My prediction is no.
Catherine: I guess we'll have to read on and see.
We open this chapter right in the middle of action, because I'm that lucky! Carlisle is ordering the vamp family around, trying to make sure that Jasper doesn't murderface Bella, who's being all human and bleeding over everything.
Emmett, Rosalie and Esme haul a rabid Jasper outside while Carlisle and Alice set to work fixing up Bella after she refuses to go to the hospital. Bella doesn't want to have to explain to Charlie that Edward was too rough with her after she accidentally cut herself, and ended up slicing up her whole arm on broken glass when he threw her into a table.
Emmett, Rosalie and Esme haul a rabid Jasper outside while Carlisle and Alice set to work fixing up Bella after she refuses to go to the hospital. Bella doesn't want to have to explain to Charlie that Edward was too rough with her after she accidentally cut herself, and ended up slicing up her whole arm on broken glass when he threw her into a table.
And we're back! I added a little exclamation point to feign some excitement about reading this again. I am happy you are here, though. Welcome! (Note: Genuine exclamation point that time.)
Say hello, ladies:
Kirsti: HELLO FRIENDS. Fun fact: when I first typed that, I wrote "HELL FRIENDS", and that accurately depicts what reading and recapping this book is like: you're in hell, but at least you have friends to complain to about how godawful it is.
Catherine: Hi! I'm glad to see you all again although I wish it was under better circumstances. We really must meet at a happier occasion sometime. Like a funeral or a Mary Kay party.
Say hello, ladies:
Kirsti: HELLO FRIENDS. Fun fact: when I first typed that, I wrote "HELL FRIENDS", and that accurately depicts what reading and recapping this book is like: you're in hell, but at least you have friends to complain to about how godawful it is.
Catherine: Hi! I'm glad to see you all again although I wish it was under better circumstances. We really must meet at a happier occasion sometime. Like a funeral or a Mary Kay party.
Our exposition-on-the-fly this episode is really Kara reading a letter from Cat to her estranged son, basically being like, "sorry I wasn't a parent." While that voice over plays, Supergirl saves a family stuck in a camper from a forest fire. Because FAMILY.
Catherine: At first I actually thought her 'sorry I neglected you' letter was about the earth. Like, 'sorry I wasn't saving you quicker' and I was like, huh, this is cool. But no. And now I'm not sure why I went there.
Mari: They should hire you.
Catherine: At first I actually thought her 'sorry I neglected you' letter was about the earth. Like, 'sorry I wasn't saving you quicker' and I was like, huh, this is cool. But no. And now I'm not sure why I went there.
Mari: They should hire you.
Since we're so late on posting this, I'll let you all know that in the previouslies we're reminded that Jimmy thinks Maxwell Carlisle is planning a counter-move against the Kryptonians, Astra is still evil, and Winn is still a garbage dick. Oh, and Hank is Martian Manhunter.
I honestly can't remember if any of this is even relevant to the episode but only because this episode sucked so much that I immediately blocked it out after I was done watching.
I honestly can't remember if any of this is even relevant to the episode but only because this episode sucked so much that I immediately blocked it out after I was done watching.
The episode picks up right where the last episode ended. Supergirl and Non go busting through the ceiling of Lord Technologies and begin to duke it out in the sky. They're briefly interrupted by an airplane RUDELY flying in the middle of their fight but they carry on by smashing into the ground. Non has Supergirl in a chokehold and tells Supergirl that she's as weak as any human. Hank comes out with a blaster gun thing and Non drops Kara to go after Hank. Is this a good time to ask what they wanted with Lord Technologies in the first place?
So after last week's surprise family reunion, Astra has two of her lackeys holding Kara on a rooftop somewhere.
Astra asks Kara if she really thought their fight was over and Kara answers that by putting the smackdown on her two silent captors. She almost manages to fly away before one of the lackeys grabs her and Astra hauls her up to her feet. (S: The way they just grab her and yank her back down looks so lame on all accounts lol.)
Astra asks Kara if she really thought their fight was over and Kara answers that by putting the smackdown on her two silent captors. She almost manages to fly away before one of the lackeys grabs her and Astra hauls her up to her feet. (S: The way they just grab her and yank her back down looks so lame on all accounts lol.)
Supergirl is getting something like a super-physical. A voice-over of Holo-Mom explains that Kara's cells have drained after fighting that robot thing last episode. She's basically a real girl now and things will be able to hurt her. Her powers should return as soon as she's absorbed enough yellow sun power. (S: Thank god she doesn't live in Ohio. I haven't seen the yellow sun in a week.) We cut to the Back Room of Solitude, where Holo-Mom is wrapping up her handy information in a slightly impersonal, AI kind of way. Supergirl sighs.
Okay so the episode starts with Kara flying over the city. Alex beeps in to ask if everything is okay since usually flying = cheesy battles. But no, this time Kara is just flying to clear her head. But, of course, duty calls and Kara hears some trouble a brewing.
Marines: I don't want to start every episode with Supergirl flying and making some statement that then gets immediately negated. I DON'T WANNA.
Samantha: We cut to the spin off Fast and Furious show that Vin Diesel has been talking about and I get excited! Two guys are yelling at each other and banging their cars together. It's Fast and Furious: Road Rage, y'all. Of course they're doing this in a school zone and almost super murder a bunch of little kids crossing the street.
Marines: I don't want to start every episode with Supergirl flying and making some statement that then gets immediately negated. I DON'T WANNA.
Samantha: We cut to the spin off Fast and Furious show that Vin Diesel has been talking about and I get excited! Two guys are yelling at each other and banging their cars together. It's Fast and Furious: Road Rage, y'all. Of course they're doing this in a school zone and almost super murder a bunch of little kids crossing the street.
Plugin by Social Author Bio