Previously: The Dragonstone gang came up with the worst plan ever. — Beyond the Wall Catherine: Welcome, friends. Welcome to… this. This episode. Here we go. Democracy Diva: We’re really sorry you...
Previously: The Tyrells got whooped. — The Spoils of War Democracy Diva: The previouslies take us back to early Season 1, with Catelyn saving Bran from a dagger, so you know...
Previously: Euron attacked his niece and many people died. — The Queen’s Justice Catherine: The previouslies remind us that Ellaria killed Myrcella with that crazy lipstick, Yara got taken by Discount...
Previously: Haunted places and homecomings. — Stormborn Marines: The official previouslies remind us of these things: Ellaria, Olena and Varys teamed up; Samwell went home and his dad was a dick;...
Previously: Cersei set everybody on fire. Like, EVERYBODY. — Dragonstone Democracy Diva: Welcome back to Game of Snark Thrones! I’ve missed you all dearly and am ready to cry in all...
It's only been six weeks (at the time of writing this) between recaps, you guys. That's like a hot second to Melisandre. And don't pretend you didn't need some time to digest this madness before digging in. Now that I've made myself feel less guilty for delaying this so long, let's do this fucking finale.
Catherine: Ha! Smart. But honestly, we have so long until the next season starts that us delaying this long just means that you guys won't have to wait that extra six weeks for season 7 posts to start? Maybe?
Catherine: Ha! Smart. But honestly, we have so long until the next season starts that us delaying this long just means that you guys won't have to wait that extra six weeks for season 7 posts to start? Maybe?
Ladies and gentlemen, you could've been anywhere in the world tonight, but you're here with us in Winterfell. Are you ready for a BastardBowl?
Catherine: Get hype! We're probably gonna be in tears before this is over.
Diva: We're probably gonna be in tears before this starts.
The previouslies remind us that the battle for Winterfell is imminent, Shireen Baratheon loved the toy stag that Davos gave her (see - I'm already crying!), the Greyjoys are en route to Meereen, and the slavers are trying to blow up Dany's pyramid just as she deboards her dragon.
Catherine: Get hype! We're probably gonna be in tears before this is over.
Diva: We're probably gonna be in tears before this starts.
The previouslies remind us that the battle for Winterfell is imminent, Shireen Baratheon loved the toy stag that Davos gave her (see - I'm already crying!), the Greyjoys are en route to Meereen, and the slavers are trying to blow up Dany's pyramid just as she deboards her dragon.
The previouslies show Tommen agreeing to be in the Cult Miltant, Cersei telling Jaime that he doesn't need to stick around because she's gonna have a trial by combat and she's already got a FrankenMountain for that, The Blackfish sassing Jaime, Sexy Septon getting killed and the Hound getting angry, and Arya getting stabbed a bunch.
Credits take us through King's Landing, Riverrun (woooo!), Winterfaux, Braavos and Meereen.
Credits take us through King's Landing, Riverrun (woooo!), Winterfaux, Braavos and Meereen.
Thanks for your patience, Snark Nation! Mari is traveling around the world, recruiting soldiers for the Great War to come, so Catherine and I are going to finish this season up on our own and probably hold each other while we sob. Right? Right.
Catherine: It's so likely that I'm upgrading it from a probably to a definitely. Get ready to emotionally suffer!
Catherine: It's so likely that I'm upgrading it from a probably to a definitely. Get ready to emotionally suffer!
Previouslies: we're reminded that Dany walked through fire to impress the Dothraki, Sam and Gilly are on their way to Hornhill and we're also shown a shot of Rob and Cat standing together. In case you have any feels left after last week that still needed destroying. Lastly we're shown Hodor sacrificing himself. Again. THANKS SHOW.
Credits take us through Kings landing, Winterfaux, The Wall, Braavos, Vaes Dothrak and Meereen. So basically everywhere ever.
Credits take us through Kings landing, Winterfaux, The Wall, Braavos, Vaes Dothrak and Meereen. So basically everywhere ever.
There is only one way to describe how I feel sitting down to rewatch and recap this episode.
Marines: A+. 1430.
Diva: Let's do this before I lose my nerve and melt into a puddle of feels.
After some uneventful previouslies/credits, Sansa is sewing and someone delivers her a letter. It has the mockingbird seal on it, so you know it's fromKatniss Littlefinger. She reads the letter and asks how far they are from Mole's Town, the village near Castle Black renowned for its whorehouses.
Marines: A+. 1430.
Diva: Let's do this before I lose my nerve and melt into a puddle of feels.
After some uneventful previouslies/credits, Sansa is sewing and someone delivers her a letter. It has the mockingbird seal on it, so you know it's from
The previouslies for this episode take us way back to last season when that one prostitute killed that Unsullied dude, Sam and Gilly left, and Sansa learned all about Lyanna Stark. Also, other stuff that happened last episode, I think. I'm not sure. It's been 6 seasons, and it's all really starting to blend together.
Anyway! The credits that I've never had to pay this close of attention to before take us to King's Landing, Pyke, Poor Winterfaux with it's little flayed man symbol, The Wall and across the narrow sea to Dothraki territory and Meereen.
Anyway! The credits that I've never had to pay this close of attention to before take us to King's Landing, Pyke, Poor Winterfaux with it's little flayed man symbol, The Wall and across the narrow sea to Dothraki territory and Meereen.
The previouslies are a warning to the audience: you definitely don't remember any of this stuff. Theon's dad and sister! Lord Karstark getting beheaded by a still-alive Robb! Bran knows a really smart bird!
Credits take us to Kings Landing, and then throw PYKE at us. Then Flayed Winterfaux, The Wall That Killed Our Dreams, Braavos, and Meereen. Yay, no Dorne! This episode is off to a great start.
Credits take us to Kings Landing, and then throw PYKE at us. Then Flayed Winterfaux, The Wall That Killed Our Dreams, Braavos, and Meereen. Yay, no Dorne! This episode is off to a great start.
After approximately 2 weeks worth of continuous previouslies, we go to the credits: King's Landing, Bolton Winterfaux, The Wall, Braavos, Meereen and Dorne.
Democracy Diva: WINTERFAUX. A+. That is the only thing we are allowed to call it until a Stark is safe there again. (So, that's the only thing we're ever gonna call it, I guess.)
Mari: We're starting this season with the exact right expectations.
Democracy Diva: WINTERFAUX. A+. That is the only thing we are allowed to call it until a Stark is safe there again. (So, that's the only thing we're ever gonna call it, I guess.)
Mari: We're starting this season with the exact right expectations.
I'm so scared.
Democracy Diva: Me too.
Mari: Camp Liar, Liar, Heir on Fire. Icicles are melting and Melisandre looks super pleased with herself. She goes into Stannis's tent to continue being pleased with herself and the Lord of Light. She says that Stannis will for sure capture Winterfell because the Lord of Light has shown her Bolton banners burning. Melisandre is trying to be affectionate with Stannis but I guess he's a little bit bummed about setting his daughter on fire, or something. He leaves her, bumping her in the face as he goes.
Democracy Diva: Me too.
Mari: Camp Liar, Liar, Heir on Fire. Icicles are melting and Melisandre looks super pleased with herself. She goes into Stannis's tent to continue being pleased with herself and the Lord of Light. She says that Stannis will for sure capture Winterfell because the Lord of Light has shown her Bolton banners burning. Melisandre is trying to be affectionate with Stannis but I guess he's a little bit bummed about setting his daughter on fire, or something. He leaves her, bumping her in the face as he goes.
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