168 Posts

Author: DemocracyDiva

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Dawson’s Creek S04 E04 – College plans lead to booze

We open in Joey's bedroom. Pacey's reading 1984 and declares himself to be bored. There's no point, he says, in reading about the future when it's already the past. He grumbles about how people in the 1950s got totally caught up in what the future would be like, and then 1984 wasn't that bad. "Except for that whole Boy George thing..." he says, and DAMMIT, PACEY. Now I want to watch The Wedding Singer...
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Dawson’s Creek S04 E03 – #fortyshadowing

Capeside High. You can probably tell from the title of this episode that the topic of discussion is Two Gentlemen of Verona, because subtlety is not this show's forte. Anyway, Drue (why is this the spelling of his name, show? why?) (K: SERIOUSLY) is disgusting and weird and creepy towards Joey. Dawson and Joey answer questions about the play that are really about their love triangle with Pacey. Drue suggests that Joey and Dawson prepare a formal debate on the play, because he's the actual worst. The teacher agrees, because teachers always let 17-year-olds assign each other projects and dictate lesson plans. At least the teacher makes Drue participate as well.
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Game of Thrones S05 E09 – Happy Hunger Games!

Diva: It's snowing furiously over a camp. Zoom in on Melisandre, who looks a lot more frightened than her usual DGAF demon-birthing self. Suddenly tents start bursting into flames, many different ones at once. The camp explodes into chaos, and there's a screaming horse on fire, just in case you weren't absolutely sure you were watching Game of Thrones. Marines: It's too cold for boobs, I guess, so dying horse it is.
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Game of Thrones S05 E08 – I’ll be right back.

We start in Meereen. Dany is in her magically white dress, on her throne, looking down on Jorah and Tyrion in icy silence. Jorah breaks the silence, but Dany promptly tells him to shut up. She asks how she's supposed to know Tyrion is who he says he is and why she shouldn't kill him if he is. Tyrion says that if she wants revenge on the Lannisters, he's a a pro at killing them.
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Dawson’s Creek S04 E02 – Confidenti-huh?-lity

Capeside High. Pacey and Joey wander adorably, hand in hand. He gripes about how he's been called to the guidance office already, and she quips that maybe they just want to tell him how supportive they are of his future as a gas station attendant. Harsh, Jo. Pacey, meanwhile, wants to discuss couple-y things. Namely, public displays of affection and whether they're acceptable at school.
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Dawson’s Creek S04 E01 – BOAT!SEX

Pacephine is fishing and kissing to the delight of millions. Unfortunately, they're only a few hours from Capeside, when Pacey pitches the idea to just live off the boat LITERALLY FOREVER. And just never go back. He speechifies about how they'd only miss recycled plot lines and other meta things like that, and they should probably just never go back and continue making out. Then they jump off the boat holding hands in slow motion.
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Game of Thrones S05 E07 – Remembering cousin sex and forgetting regicide

I don't have the emotional wherewithal to recap the previouslies, so let's just dive right in.
It's snowing at The Wall, because DUH, and some of the Night's Watch usher Tormund Giantsbane Ginger NotMance - to Lord Commander Snow. Ginger's chains are removed, and he makes a bit of a "come at me, bro" gesture at Ser Alliser Bitchface Thorne, which I dig. Apparently Ser Alliser Bitchface is the First Ranger, and Jon gives him command of Castle Black, which seems like a non-awesome idea. Ser Alliser is like, this mission to rescue wildlings who we were like FIVE MINUTES AGO trying to murder us is dumb as fuck.
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Game of Thrones S05 E06 – Things we cannot stand for.

Hogwarts for Assassins. We start with Arya washing a dead body very slowly and methodically. When she's all done, two men appear to carry the body away. She stares after them, curious about what the heck is happening with these bodies. She walks closer to the door through which they left, but Nameless Cunt appears and shuts that down. Arya wants to know what happens to the bodies but NC tells her to get back to work.
Democracy Diva: Isn't it weird that these bodies are mostly old people, when the average life expectancy in this universe is like an hour and a half?
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Dawson’s Creek S03 Wrap-Up Post

Anyway, this season felt so long that by the time we'd reached the end, I'd forgotten almost every plot point from the early episodes. Remember how Eve gave Dawson a blowjob that caused him to crash Mitch's boat and Pacey threw a stripper party to raise money to repair it? (D: Barely.) Yeah. That was THIS SEASON. It feels like the show has morphed completely since then.
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Dawson’s Creek S03 E23 – And none for Dawson Leery

It's been a long time coming, friends, but WE FINALLY FINISHED ANOTHER SEASON. Cue Snark Lady dance party:
Democracy Diva: YAAAS WE DID IT, LET'S DANCE WITH PACEY UNTIL HE KEELS OVER!
K: What, like you're all surprised it features Pacey Witter? Please.
Dance party over, let's get down to business! On the main street in Capeside, Mitch and Gail get smoochy while Mitch thoughtfully informs us that Joey is Gail's maid of honour. This...makes literally no sense, but also I'm distracted by how hideous Joey's shoes are.
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Dawson’s Creek S03 E22 – Pacey in formalwear.

Joey and Dawson walk-and-talk about finals. They arrive at the Leery Manor porch, and Dawson starts word-vomiting about some pact. Apparently they agreed to go to junior prom together many moons ago, and Dawson insists they should go, but he says "as friends" so many times that I'm positive he's full of shit.
Kirsti: I'm not sure whether I'm more horrified that Dawson's making such a huge deal of JUNIOR PROM or that he's holding Joey to a promise she made over two years ago. Either way, DUDE, NO.
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The OC S03 E13 – Call me if you need weed!

The previouslies are helping me remember how much I hated new!Kaitlin (BRING BACK SHAILENE WOODLEY) and the infuriating way she speaks like she's got a permanent mouthful of cotton candy. I haven't seen the previous episode in at least seven or so years, but it's all coming back to me now.
Cohen House Breakfast Where Everyone Is Way Too Awake For Such An Early Hour But At Least There Are Bagels. Sandy's big day involves building a hospital, a project he inherited from Caleb. Except they're still competing with another firm to get the project, or something? Whatever, the important thing is that Sandy needs his lucky tie and Kirsten already got it cleaned for him because these two are an awesome team.
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Dawson’s Creek S03 E21 – Dick measuring with boats

We start with an incredibly long montage. At Leery Manor, Dawson stares moodily at the ugly-ass painting that Aunt Gwen gave him. Joey stares sadly up at Dawson's window. Pacey is...watering his boat?? IDEK, you guys. He's hosing down the boat while wearing an awful Hawaiian shirt. Jen walks out of Chez Grams to find Henry standing outside like the creepy serial killer that he is, holding a sign that reads "Jen Lindley: would you please forgive me?" It's like that scene in Love Actually but weirder. Jen nopes her way back inside, and Grams smirks.
Democracy Diva: Stop smiling, Grams. This douchenozzle wants to guilt your granddaughter into sex.
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Dawson’s Creek S03 E20 – Fuck you, showrunners.

We begin with a Joey voiceover: she asks if you've ever had a day you wanted to live all over again. Like one in which they made out with Pacey, I guess.
Kirsti: Legit, girl. Legit. I think we'd all like to live that day over and over again.
Diva: I want a life-gif of that day.
Dawson and his dad show up to Pacey's boat with some champagne. They're greeted by Andie, Jonathan Lipnicki (who I guess is officially part of the family now), and the rest of the gang, save for Pacephine.
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Dawson’s Creek S03 E19 – HMAS Pacephine

In order to adequately recap this episode, I need to start with Snark Lady Storytime: once upon a time (read: July 3rd 2014) in a faraway kingdom (read: Snark HQ), two Snark Ladies were trying to work out how best to recap Dawson's Creek after season 1. Should we alternate? Stick exclusively to odds/evens? Or alternate and then split the season finale? And I'm not going to lie: my decision was made solely based on the fact that I'd get to recap this episode, and Diva was nice enough to not interfere.

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