Yes, it's true. Ana and Grey broke up, but this book is still going. Can you guess how happy I am about that?
But E. L. must have a really good reason for writing FIVE MORE CHAPTERS of this damn thing, right? I'm sure there are going to be all sorts of plot twists and turns, and plenty of brand new information which will make reading what follows a totally worthwhile use of our time. Right? RIGHT?
Hey, it's the start of a chapter, and Grey is waking up. He's dreaming about wind and wakes up feeling like someone was just running their fingers through his hair. Ana is sleeping, though. Grey checks the time but tells us "it's after 4:30 in the morning." Look, it's not that I've come to expect the exact time or anything, but why would you look at the clock and then give unspecific information like "after 4:30"?
Grey stares at the blinking light of the fire alarm.
Grey stares at the blinking light of the fire alarm.
Previously: Alison is taking her fake kidnapping super seriously. — No One Here Can Love or Understand Me Jessica: The episode starts with our four Liars walking abreast down the street...
It's 2 a.m. and Grey can't sleep. I can't either, because his stupid ass is awake and I'm having to read about it, but here we are anyway. He's busy mulling over ex-submissive Leila, his own “waking nightmare.” In typical Grey fashion, he spends only about .2 seconds (A: seven whole words!) thinking about Leila before making it all about him. Her pain reminds him of his pain as a teenager, or something.
He goes to his piano to play moody music. He's upset that Ana's not there, and he can't just fuck himself into forgetfulness because, damn her, she never signed his contract. So now it's becoming Ana's fault, nice.
He goes to his piano to play moody music. He's upset that Ana's not there, and he can't just fuck himself into forgetfulness because, damn her, she never signed his contract. So now it's becoming Ana's fault, nice.
We start right back in the LOLPD station. The man who "kidnapped" Ali is staring creepily at the one-way window. On the other side, Detective Tanner is talking to Papa DiLaurentis. She explains that one of Ashley Marin's neighbors saw creepy dude (Cyrus) lurking in her backyard. Tanner tells Papa D to keep his mouth shut until the cops have evidence to press charges.
Papa D asks to see his daughter. We cut to a room where Alison is having emotions while looking at a mug shot of Cyrus. Papa D comes in and asks if this is the man who hurt Alison. She makes about 37 more faces before saying she doesn't know.
Papa D asks to see his daughter. We cut to a room where Alison is having emotions while looking at a mug shot of Cyrus. Papa D comes in and asks if this is the man who hurt Alison. She makes about 37 more faces before saying she doesn't know.
Before we get started, I’d just like to apologise for the delays in getting Grey recaps out so far this year, all of which have been entirely my fault. I promise I’ll get my shit together for the next one!
Anyway, here we go. The chapter opens and would anyone like to guess what Grey is doing? That’s right! He’s… waking up! He’s being woken up by Ana, who’s talking in her sleep. Her ‘whispered words penetrate [his] slumber’.
Anyway, here we go. The chapter opens and would anyone like to guess what Grey is doing? That’s right! He’s… waking up! He’s being woken up by Ana, who’s talking in her sleep. Her ‘whispered words penetrate [his] slumber’.
I cannot remember a single thing that happened in the last chapter. I’m not saying this as an apology or anything. I actually get pretty proud of myself whenever I manage to purge any part of this experience from my brain.
Jessica: I also have forgotten pretty much everything except some shadowy glimpses of plot. I've enjoyed this ignorance, and I feel that I shall soon miss it....
Mari: Yep. Also, I know I'm not posting this on it's regular day, but since we've been gone for so long, and we finally finished this thing, I figured why not. We can all soon miss our ignorance together.
Jessica: I also have forgotten pretty much everything except some shadowy glimpses of plot. I've enjoyed this ignorance, and I feel that I shall soon miss it....
Mari: Yep. Also, I know I'm not posting this on it's regular day, but since we've been gone for so long, and we finally finished this thing, I figured why not. We can all soon miss our ignorance together.
The chapter begins with a scene from Grey's childhood, where he hides in the closet from “him” who often hits Grey and the Crack Whore.
Grey awakens from this bad dream, and as he gets ready for a run, receives a text from Ana saying she's arrived safely in Georgia. That she's safe makes him happy, but then he checks his email and of course, there's a really long one from Ana. It makes his scalp prickle (you know, like when a ghost is nearby?) and he sits down to read it.
Grey awakens from this bad dream, and as he gets ready for a run, receives a text from Ana saying she's arrived safely in Georgia. That she's safe makes him happy, but then he checks his email and of course, there's a really long one from Ana. It makes his scalp prickle (you know, like when a ghost is nearby?) and he sits down to read it.
I honestly kept forgetting to write this recap. I've never been so proud of my brain.
Anyway.
"Her sharp intake of breath is music to my dick."
Can I just start using "music to me [body part]" in real life now?
We start this chapter right in the middle of a goddamn conversation because EL James is the worst. If you'll recall, Ana wanted to talk about Grey's messed up childhood and he was like, "no. Vagina balls."
Anyway.
"Her sharp intake of breath is music to my dick."
Can I just start using "music to me [body part]" in real life now?
We start this chapter right in the middle of a goddamn conversation because EL James is the worst. If you'll recall, Ana wanted to talk about Grey's messed up childhood and he was like, "no. Vagina balls."
Grey starts his day by casually jogging past Ana’s new apartment. He chuckles to himself about what a stalker he is but then immediately gets defensive. He’s just out for a run, OK? ‘It’s a free country’. Dude, there’s no one else here. You’re literally arguing with yourself right now about whether or not you’re being a stalker.
Marines: So, really, the question is if you are a deranged stalker or a super deranged stalker. It's a close call.
Marines: So, really, the question is if you are a deranged stalker or a super deranged stalker. It's a close call.
Marin Manor- Hanna's room. Spencer and Emily are taking on our job momentarily and poking holes in Ali's Noel-scares-Hanna's-mom plan from last episode. Spencer's particularly grumpy with her horse-kicked eye. (M: I'd be grumpy about everything with a horse-kicked-eye.) They all question Ali's decision but she snaps at them that Noel is the one she can trust, since all they do is ignore her SOS calls and spy on her every move. She storms out to go call her dad.
In a shocking turn of events, we do not get a chronologically detailed description of Christian Grey going about every aspect of his boring life to start this chapter, but in fact, jump right to the time and place of the next “plot” point in the story.
Mia, ever ebullient, literally squeals Grey's name and hugs him at the airport. She wants to talk about his new girl, but he would rather do actual work and heavy lifting of her luggage than speak with her about that.
Mia, ever ebullient, literally squeals Grey's name and hugs him at the airport. She wants to talk about his new girl, but he would rather do actual work and heavy lifting of her luggage than speak with her about that.
We open on a video game match between the boys. Summer is bored, while Seth is certain that he doesn’t need to prep for his interview with Brown. Seeing as this is TV, and he’s one of the main characters, he’s probably right. New Girl (aka Sadie) comes in and challenges Seth to a video game off, which is CRAZY because she is a girl! But she does it anyway.
Ryan and Summer grab drinks in the other room and discuss how it’s totally not awkward that Ryan isn’t dating Marissa anymore.
Ryan and Summer grab drinks in the other room and discuss how it’s totally not awkward that Ryan isn’t dating Marissa anymore.
We pick up the emails right where they left off last time, but now it's 12:03am, so it's a new day, see? Grey sends back an email asking why Ana said she doesn't like him. If you are an author who figures that including full email transcripts is a super excellent way to fill your book, what do you do between emails?
Class at Rosewood! But it's choir class, so half points. The Liars are in the front row, singing What Child Is This? and Hanna either hates choir class or is still hungover? Something.
Jessica: Christmas carols are bad enough when you're sober and not being forced to sing them.
Mari: Right, or she hates Christmas carols.
In an adjacent room which we can conveniently see into thanks to a large window, Detective Tanner is asking Alison questions about the last time she spoke to Shana.
Jessica: Christmas carols are bad enough when you're sober and not being forced to sing them.
Mari: Right, or she hates Christmas carols.
In an adjacent room which we can conveniently see into thanks to a large window, Detective Tanner is asking Alison questions about the last time she spoke to Shana.
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