It's about 5 days later, but we're starting off with information from the background check Grey ordered on Ana at the end of the last chapter. In true EL James style, we are treated to ALL the information, which is a bunch of details that I don't care about and am forgetting immediately. This includes her freaking Social Security Number, bank account balance and SAT score! It claims she got a 2150. Anyone know how to translate that into the old scores? I really hope it isn't higher than Buffy's 1430 but this is Grey, so anything can happen.
Alex: It also includes her 'mobile' number, which strikes me as something that the 'Americanism' team should maybe have picked up on? Also, I'm kind of curious about whose number that actually is.
The last actual book recap we posted went up in October of 2013. WHAT EVEN. I mean, sure, there were lots of series wrap-up posts, a trailer to dissect and a movie to die through, but still. It seems like only yesterday we were holding each other in the comments.
I sent out an email to the rest of the Snark Ladies asking if any of them loved me enough/hated their lives enough to recap along with me. Some of them will be popping in and out for one off things, but two brave souls volunteered as tributes: Alex and Jessica. Say hello ladies!
I sent out an email to the rest of the Snark Ladies asking if any of them loved me enough/hated their lives enough to recap along with me. Some of them will be popping in and out for one off things, but two brave souls volunteered as tributes: Alex and Jessica. Say hello ladies!
So this is the 100th episode of this show. Let's do a quick round-up of what we know after approximately a century's worth of episodes.
Question 1: Is Alison alive?
Answer: Yes!
Question 2: Who is A?
Answer: No freaking clue.
Ok good, you're all caught up. On to the episode! (M: This is my favorite thing that's ever happened.)
Question 1: Is Alison alive?
Answer: Yes!
Question 2: Who is A?
Answer: No freaking clue.
Ok good, you're all caught up. On to the episode! (M: This is my favorite thing that's ever happened.)
We start right about where we left off last time. Dyad's Dr. Nealon comes down to the cell where the Mustache Castor Clone freed the Scarface Castor Clone in the previous episode. His face doesn't really register the “oh shit!” reaction this scene requires as he makes a phone call to report the escape.
Hotel room somewhere. Scarface Castor Clone (ok he's sticking around for now so I'll use his real name– Rudy) (M: Really? Huh.) enters the room with a stumbling, giggling girl. Ominous music sneaks in the background as they move toward sexytimes. She turns away for him to take off her coat, and we get a blurry image of Mustache Castor Clone (Seth) in the background taking the coat and answering her question and it's super creepy. But
Hotel room somewhere. Scarface Castor Clone (ok he's sticking around for now so I'll use his real name– Rudy) (M: Really? Huh.) enters the room with a stumbling, giggling girl. Ominous music sneaks in the background as they move toward sexytimes. She turns away for him to take off her coat, and we get a blurry image of Mustache Castor Clone (Seth) in the background taking the coat and answering her question and it's super creepy. But
Rosewood High book sale. Aria looks at Hanna appraisingly, making Hanna think she hates "it." I'm like, "what?" until I remember the dye job. And it isn't until the camera changes to a side angle that I can even tell what this drastic change even is: chunks of black underneath the top layer of her blond hair. HANNA, I BARELY RECOGNIZED YOU.
Jessica: It's like the makeup department called a huddle and said "ok, how can we change the blond girl's hair while still keeping her blond?"
Jessica: It's like the makeup department called a huddle and said "ok, how can we change the blond girl's hair while still keeping her blond?"
Ali is lying on her bed while voiceovers of the Liars ask if she’s ok. Light and shadows play over her face as we assume the days pass. I know Ali can be a manipulative bitch and all, but I can’t begin to imagine the trauma of nearly being murdered, buried alive, on the run for three years and then come back to find your mom murdered. Damn.
Mr. DiLaurentis and Jason join in the voiceovers, rudely telling the Liars to get out.
Mr. DiLaurentis and Jason join in the voiceovers, rudely telling the Liars to get out.
A bus pulls into Rosewood. Aria, Hanna, Spencer, Emily and Alison get off. Ali hesitates at the last step and tries to run back on, but Emily stops her telling her that A is gone and she doesn’t need to run anymore. So, if I remember correctly, they think A is dead because Shana is dead. But didn’t they have that in-the-park A rave too? Apparently they have blocked that out. I, however, have not. That was about the most memorable thing last episode, aside from Shana dying from falling like 2 feet off the stage.
First of all, thanks to the Snark Ladies for adding me to the Orphan Black recapping team. I started watching this show since you recommended it and am now thoroughly pulled in. Also, I am soooo excited for this episode. I've been watching the trailer and I'm curious to see how much having the male clones in the mix will change the game and change the consequences of the world.
Ok. Deep breath. Here we go.
Ok. Deep breath. Here we go.
The happiest two seconds of the entire series happen when an EMT says Ezra's pulse is getting weaker. The only one who is sad about this is Aria. Her friends hold her back and tell her she shouldn't go with Ezra to the hospital because then the pesky cops will start asking her questions. Apparently, no one from the NYPD notices Aria hyperventilating after Ezra; they are busy questioning Noel Khan. Alison is on a fire escape, watching the ambulance ride by. A is-- TRUE STORY-- riding on the top of the ambulance like some kind of extra-deranged Spider-Man. I hate this show.
Apartment somewhere. The Liars are impatiently waiting on something. Behind them, Noel Kahn says he'll be right back. Apparently, he's the "what are you doing here? DRAMATIC CUT TO BLACK" from last episode. (J: terrible pay off.) When he leaves, the Liars wonder at the smartness of following Noel Kahn and further wonder why Alison would trust him. They don't hear the Foley guys given them an extra loud door opening sound, so they all jump up when Alison answers, "because he has secrets too."
Nighttime in the woods. Spencer wanders around in a bridal dress, getting tangled in the trees. She is being stalked by a black clothed figure, then we hear a stabbing sort of sound and she gasps. Is something exciting about to happen, you ask? Or something about to be revealed? PSYCH! No. Not even close.
“48 hours earlier” appears across the screen. Ah, that old trope.
Rosewood's one coffee shop. All four Liars are discussing the fact that Paige tipped the cops off about Ali being alive.
“48 hours earlier” appears across the screen. Ah, that old trope.
Rosewood's one coffee shop. All four Liars are discussing the fact that Paige tipped the cops off about Ali being alive.
rom the previouslies, I can see that shit is going DOWN here at the O.C. Everyone is varying degrees of upset and angry and there was even a dramatic pool dive. And now it’s finale time.
Sandy talks to someone on the phone while looking over brochures for a swanky rehab place. He says he’ll meet them soon, right after this funeral he has to attend, which I take is that of Caleb. Ah Caleb, we knew ye too well to mourn ye.
Seth walks somberly downstairs and greets Kirsten. They make awkward small talk about Caleb that isn’t entirely true. Seth is looking for a cell phone charger and goes into Sandy’s office and rifles through drawers to find one.
Sandy talks to someone on the phone while looking over brochures for a swanky rehab place. He says he’ll meet them soon, right after this funeral he has to attend, which I take is that of Caleb. Ah Caleb, we knew ye too well to mourn ye.
Seth walks somberly downstairs and greets Kirsten. They make awkward small talk about Caleb that isn’t entirely true. Seth is looking for a cell phone charger and goes into Sandy’s office and rifles through drawers to find one.
Spencer is in her room unpacking the bag she took to rehab and snapping at her mom. She apologizes and says that she's just irritable because of that whole 'kicking her drug habit' thing. Mariska Mom takes it in stride, which is the least she can do after being a horrible mother 95% of the time. Spencer has some weird flashbacks to the night Ali died and her mom suggests she get some rest.
Jessica: Well, PLL solved Spencer's rehab the same way Gotham solves everything — skip to the end.
Jessica: Well, PLL solved Spencer's rehab the same way Gotham solves everything — skip to the end.
Aria cries as she fills her friends in on the ever-increasing creepiness of Ezra Fitz. See, he didn't kiss a random girl and THEN find out she was 16. He knew all along that she was a minor but he's awful and decided to exploit her anyway. Additionally, he had a "brief" relationship with Alison when she was 14. So. I actually just got really, really gaggy.
Sara: It seems like the word 'relationship' is not really accurate considering it was between a FOURTEEN YEAR OLD and a grown man in college. Gross gross gross gross.
Sara: It seems like the word 'relationship' is not really accurate considering it was between a FOURTEEN YEAR OLD and a grown man in college. Gross gross gross gross.
We open on Spencer, who has fallen asleep at Ezra's desk, and is drooling all over the Ali Diary. Ezra walks in, wakes her up and asks what she's doing. She's confused, just as anyone would be to realize that they're in their pajamas, at school, and this is not an actual dream. She tries to leave but he creepy stops her and tells her the path she's on is dangerous, then the bell rings and she uses it to make a break for it. Ezra creepy stares after her. But I guess he's used to people fleeing his dead-eyed stare.
SHHHHH.
Coma-makeup!Spencer is changing in the girl's bathroom.
SHHHHH.
Coma-makeup!Spencer is changing in the girl's bathroom.
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