We open at a psychiatric hospital where a woman patient sits in the doctor's office. He asks why she refuses to take her medication and she says that they make her sleepy and if she sleeps the monster will come. The doctor is all "yeah, but this monster is just a symptom of the schizophrenia that you have, let me describe it to you." Susan says that she knows what she is, she can see her dead son, but this monster is real and killed Annie. He keeps psycho babbling and refuses to believe.
We open this chapter right in the middle of action, because I'm that lucky! Carlisle is ordering the vamp family around, trying to make sure that Jasper doesn't murderface Bella, who's being all human and bleeding over everything.
Emmett, Rosalie and Esme haul a rabid Jasper outside while Carlisle and Alice set to work fixing up Bella after she refuses to go to the hospital. Bella doesn't want to have to explain to Charlie that Edward was too rough with her after she accidentally cut herself, and ended up slicing up her whole arm on broken glass when he threw her into a table.
Emmett, Rosalie and Esme haul a rabid Jasper outside while Carlisle and Alice set to work fixing up Bella after she refuses to go to the hospital. Bella doesn't want to have to explain to Charlie that Edward was too rough with her after she accidentally cut herself, and ended up slicing up her whole arm on broken glass when he threw her into a table.
And we're back! I added a little exclamation point to feign some excitement about reading this again. I am happy you are here, though. Welcome! (Note: Genuine exclamation point that time.)
Say hello, ladies:
Kirsti: HELLO FRIENDS. Fun fact: when I first typed that, I wrote "HELL FRIENDS", and that accurately depicts what reading and recapping this book is like: you're in hell, but at least you have friends to complain to about how godawful it is.
Catherine: Hi! I'm glad to see you all again although I wish it was under better circumstances. We really must meet at a happier occasion sometime. Like a funeral or a Mary Kay party.
Say hello, ladies:
Kirsti: HELLO FRIENDS. Fun fact: when I first typed that, I wrote "HELL FRIENDS", and that accurately depicts what reading and recapping this book is like: you're in hell, but at least you have friends to complain to about how godawful it is.
Catherine: Hi! I'm glad to see you all again although I wish it was under better circumstances. We really must meet at a happier occasion sometime. Like a funeral or a Mary Kay party.
After a recap of the last episode, we jump straight to the credits.
DOO WEE OOH.
The Doctor is trying to sonic his way into the car where Wilf is being poisoned. Sylvia Noble comes out of nowhere with a sledgehammer and busts the windshield open like a boss and because DUH!
Kirsti: But seriously, why did no one think of that earlier?!
Mari: At UNIT, general chaos. Colonel Mace goes into a command room where a helpful woman lets him know that ATMOS has gone wild all over the world.
DOO WEE OOH.
The Doctor is trying to sonic his way into the car where Wilf is being poisoned. Sylvia Noble comes out of nowhere with a sledgehammer and busts the windshield open like a boss and because DUH!
Kirsti: But seriously, why did no one think of that earlier?!
Mari: At UNIT, general chaos. Colonel Mace goes into a command room where a helpful woman lets him know that ATMOS has gone wild all over the world.
In the process of setting up this post, I realised which episode this is, and NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE. DO NOT WANT. Can we just skip ahead and pretend this one doesn't happen?? No?
Well, fuck. Let's raid the Supernatural drinks fridge and do this thing.
Samantha: Oh my god, I started drinking a full 24 hours before in preparation. NO PLEASE.
K: We open with a middle-aged dude in a limo pulling up under a freeway interchange. He buries a box in the dirt. "Mr Pendleton, I presume?" comes a British voice from behind him. He turns around and it's MARK SHEPPARD!! Mark Sheppard is in at least one episode of basically every show I've ever loved.
Well, fuck. Let's raid the Supernatural drinks fridge and do this thing.
Samantha: Oh my god, I started drinking a full 24 hours before in preparation. NO PLEASE.
K: We open with a middle-aged dude in a limo pulling up under a freeway interchange. He buries a box in the dirt. "Mr Pendleton, I presume?" comes a British voice from behind him. He turns around and it's MARK SHEPPARD!! Mark Sheppard is in at least one episode of basically every show I've ever loved.
The boys are burning rubber in the Impala as dramatic music plays. They pull up to a hotel and hurry out of the car when Dean double takes because there are several other '67 Chevy Impala's in the parking lot, exactly like Baby. Sam tells him to hurry up and we see Chuck pacing outside of the hotel. They hurry over to him and he seems super confused as to why they're there. Sam is all "You sent me a text, bro and said it was life or death." Chuck denies this and Dean is pissed because they drove all night. Realization seems to hit Chuck's face and he oh nos. We hear Becky's OMG voice say, "Sam!" and squealing. She runs up and Sam remembers her name which causes her to almost orgasm. Dean eye rolls hard and Becky says that Sam seems to have been thinking about her.
We open at Rattigan Academy, which looks a hell of a lot like Francis Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters. But whatever. (M: I'm sure it's totally different.) A bunch of teenagers in red hoodies and tracksuit pants (sidenote: I find it fascinating how many different terms exist for tracksuit pants. In Australia, they're generally trackie daks. In the US? Sweatpants. In the UK? Tracksuit bottoms. TELL ME WHAT YOU CALL THEM, I NEED TO KNOW) drag a well dressed woman out of the building and down a flight of stairs as she yells at them to release her.
They drop her to the ground, and throw her stuff after her. A weedy little nerd boy in a grey hoodie and jeans sasses at her and tells her to spell his name - Rattigan - right if she prints it.
They drop her to the ground, and throw her stuff after her. A weedy little nerd boy in a grey hoodie and jeans sasses at her and tells her to spell his name - Rattigan - right if she prints it.
We open at the Motel of the Week. (S: I'm so excited I'm so excited I'm so excited.) "Supernatural is filmed before a live studio audience," Dean voiceovers. Music tinkles and the entire colour palate is a million times brighter and happier than usual. Inside the motel room - which has a huge and very clean kitchen - Dean has made a comically oversized sandwich. A studio audience offscreen cheers and claps. "I'm gonna need a bigger mouth," he says. Canned laughter.
Sam enters to cheers and applause. Dean asks what's happening. "Just the end of the world!" Sam says, all upbeat.
Sam enters to cheers and applause. Dean asks what's happening. "Just the end of the world!" Sam says, all upbeat.
A business-y man watches a commercial for an Ood and talks about it with someone on the other side of a wrist communicator. Business is down so they are dropping the price all the way to 50 credits. After the wrist conversation is over, Business Man tells a nearby Ood to pull some military reports, because the military are always looking for some extra help.
Another call comes into Business Man's watch, just so we're super clear that this man is selling Ood. The Ood from a second ago comes back with a file, but Business Man says it's the wrong one. The Ood says that's irrelevant. A little surprised and a little upset, Business Man asks why that is.
Another call comes into Business Man's watch, just so we're super clear that this man is selling Ood. The Ood from a second ago comes back with a file, but Business Man says it's the wrong one. The Ood says that's irrelevant. A little surprised and a little upset, Business Man asks why that is.
We open with a woman on the couch reading one of those trashy magazines that declares the Apocolypse here. A man comes in the front door and she greets him but he just runs straight upstairs. He heads into the bathroom all sweaty and panicked. He looks into the mirror as his skin begins to wrinkle and his hair falls out. He turns into an old old man and collapses into a cabinet. (K: It's very...Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade)
First things first: if that post title brings up all kinds of horrible childhood memories for you, WELCOME TO THE CLUB. For those of you who looked at it and went "Whut", just know that Caecilius was an actual resident of Pompeii, and he and his family form the basis of the first book in the Cambridge Latin Course, used to teach children all over the world - including me - a dead language since 1970. In short, how could I not?!
Marines: Those of us who were never forced to learn a dead language still commiserate with your childhood trauma. The Snark HQ liquor cabinet is open and well stocked.
Marines: Those of us who were never forced to learn a dead language still commiserate with your childhood trauma. The Snark HQ liquor cabinet is open and well stocked.
Is anyone else going to spend the next eternity with that stupid song lodged in their brain on an endless loop, or is that just me?
Anyway. Alliance, Nebraska. A college aged girl sits way too close to the TV, brushing her hair. There's a noise from the back of the room. She looks around, a little freaked, and the music gets all "OMG WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN THIS IS SO TENSE!!" as she walks slowly towards a big cupboard. She pulls open the door, and the kid she's babysitting is in there, pretending to be dead. He's got one of those fake arrow headbands on, and has covered himself in tomato sauce. (That's ketchup to you, America.)
Anyway. Alliance, Nebraska. A college aged girl sits way too close to the TV, brushing her hair. There's a noise from the back of the room. She looks around, a little freaked, and the music gets all "OMG WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN THIS IS SO TENSE!!" as she walks slowly towards a big cupboard. She pulls open the door, and the kid she's babysitting is in there, pretending to be dead. He's got one of those fake arrow headbands on, and has covered himself in tomato sauce. (That's ketchup to you, America.)
DONNA THE TOTAL BEST is wearing a business suit and walking purposefully through a busy street. The Doctor is walking in the opposite direction. They both end up in front of the same building: Adipose Industries.
Donna walks in the main entrance and the Doctor sonics his way through a back door. Donna flashes an ID to a security guard and says she's from Health and Safety. The Doctor does the same, flashing his psychic paper. Neither of the guards these two encounter look particularly interested anyway.
Donna walks in the main entrance and the Doctor sonics his way through a back door. Donna flashes an ID to a security guard and says she's from Health and Safety. The Doctor does the same, flashing his psychic paper. Neither of the guards these two encounter look particularly interested anyway.
Confession time. Whenever I rewatch this show I usually skip the teaser at the beginning, if it doesn't have the boys in it. Why? Because at one point I developed a weird fear that someday I will be the person in a teaser-like situation. Yes, I am aware that monsters are not real but also you never know, you know? They always end bad and bloody and I've just taken to avoiding them. The things I do because I love you all.
We open in Joey's bedroom. Pacey's reading 1984 and declares himself to be bored. There's no point, he says, in reading about the future when it's already the past. He grumbles about how people in the 1950s got totally caught up in what the future would be like, and then 1984 wasn't that bad. "Except for that whole Boy George thing..." he says, and DAMMIT, PACEY. Now I want to watch The Wedding Singer...
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