Author: K

Supernatural S03 E10 – Dream catch me

Bobby walks through his house with a flashlight in hand. He hears a noise and turns, but there's nothing there. He heads into the kitchen and looks around, but it's empty. Suddenly, a woman screams and attacks him. He falls to the floor, and she shakes him back and forth. The screen flashes white a few times and we cut to Bobby asleep in a motel bed. It's daylight. A maid enters, and apologises when she sees him. She pulls the keys from the door, and they jangle. But Bobby doesn't budge. She looks concerned and walks over to him. She shakes his shoulder a little, and he still doesn't move. We cut back to the screaming woman in the kitchen and Bobby trying to fend off her blows.

Supernatural S03 E09 – Pass the misogyny shots

A posh looking couple in formal wear walk into their bedroom talking about how tedious the party they just attended was. He wants to have some sexy times, but she says she needs a few minutes and excuses herself. She heads into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. Elsewhere, a match strikes and a woman starts chanting in a language that Google Translate is telling me could be Latin, Irish, Croatian or Danish. I don't even think you tried, Google Translate. (M: "It's definitely a language! Probably.") The camera pans across a bunch of occult objects, including a used toothbrush, as the unseen woman continues chanting.

Supernatural S03 E08 – Merry Murdermas

Seattle, one year ago. A grandfather is greeted at the door by his grandson, who asks if his grandfather has brought Christmas presents. The grandfather is all "Pff, NO" because that's Santa's job. After the kid's asleep, the grandfather dresses up as Santa and rings a set of bells. The kid sneaks down the stairs and watches as Grandpa Santa puts presents under the tree. There's a thump on the roof, and the kid excitedly whispers to himself that it must be reindeer. Some soot falls down the chimney, and Grandpa Santa looks over in surprise before going closer to investigate. Obviously, something grabs him and drags him up the chimney with a series of crunching sounds.

Supernatural S03 E07 – Crossover Vampires

Night. A fancy Mercedes is parked by a deserted looking bridge. Bela returns to her car with a briefcase that's presumably full of money and gasps when she sees someone reflected in the window behind her. It's Gordon, though she doesn't know that. He introduces himself and she looks momentarily freaked. She says that she's heard of him, and thought he was in prison.
Anna May: MORE BELA YAY. Also it's been so long since I watched Supernatural in a non-snark capacity and I'm rapidly realising that I'm not far off a Snow here-- I've completely forgotten who Gordon is. Guess I'm going to find out.

Doctor Who S02 E05 – Because it hurts.

Lab. A scientist we can't see hits a button and electricity crackles. He tells someone else that the prototype has passed every test and is working. In the shadows, a man says that "working" isn't the correct word because that would apply only to machines. The man comes out of the shadows so that we see he's in a motorized chair.
Kirsti: I flail with excitement because it's Owen from Vicar of Dibley!!! Excuse me while I spend the rest of the episode expecting him to talk about how he's late because his sheep exploded or something.

Supernatural S03 E06 – How the sass tables turn

A young woman runs along an abandoned dock at night in tiny shorts and a sports bra. I roll my eyes so hard they nearly fall out of their sockets because no woman on earth would go running alone at night dressed like that. (A: +1.) She stops to get a drink at a water fountain, then looks up when there's a crack of thunder. She sees a ghostly sailing ship float past, then vanish. She runs off, looking freaked out.
Cut to her house, where she's showering. Segue: does anybody actually do a shampoo advert style hair flip in the shower? Because I call bullshit. It just makes the ceiling wet and drippy.

Dawson’s Creek S03 E10 – Needs more Pacey. REALLY.

Shrine O’Spielberg. Dawson is watching his Really Dumb Witch Island Movie. Joey climbs in the window just to make us all aggravated when the episode has barely begun. Dawson is nervous about an upcoming screening of his Laughably Terrible Witch Island Movie, but Joey reassures him that it's great and will help him make his dreams come true or some bullshit like that. (K: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. Sure it will, Joey. Sure it will.)
Joey also helpfully exposits that she has a contrivance college tour this weekend where she’s staying with a random student.

Doctor Who S02 E04 – Time helps you get a head.

We open at Versailles in the height of its opulence. Courtiers run and scream from an unseen threat. A man in a red velvet coat approaches a woman in a dress four times wider than she is, and tells her that they have to go. It's Sophia Myles, who I know better as Beth from Moonlight and Beth from Spooks. Also as Fanny Price's little sister from the Mansfield Park movie.
Marines: MOONLIGHT! It is my far away dream to recap some one-season-wonders a la Firefly, and Moonlight is way high on that list. Also, Sophia Myles was dating David Tennant at this point, which is fun.

Supernatural S03 E05 – Who’s the fairest of them all?

Maple Springs, New York. The tinkly orchestra tinkles as we pan across a billboard for a housing estate that starts "Once upon a time". You know, just in case you couldn't tell this was going to be fairy tale themed. We pan down further to the construction site where three somewhat chubby brothers are talking. There's a growly sound and one looks around. His brother pooh-poohs the noise, and the trio go back to arguing about whether they should be using cinder blocks or bricks rather than timber in the construction, because "One gust of wind and the whole place is gonna blow over!". Do you get who they are yet, or should the writers hit us with the obvious anvil a few more times?

Segue Magic: Best Fictional Couples (Kirsti)

Yes, I'm gatecrashing Segue Magic now and you'll get to see my face every week. YOU'RE WELCOME, TRAUMATEERS. This isn't the first time I've gatecrashed Segue Magic. Back in 2013, I did a vlog or two over on my channel on the same topics that Mari and Sweeney were discussing on the Snark Squad channel. I just watched one of those back and PLEASE DON'T GO AND FIND THEM OH MY GOD, IT'S TERRIBLE. And largely unedited. And kind of like watching a video that was filmed with a potato.
Anyway.

Supernatural S03 E04 – It’s the fedora on the inside that counts.

We open in a church at night, a priest and a nun tidying away the hymn books as the spooky indoor wind of spookiness messes with some candles.
Kirsti: Nuns, creepy music and spooky indoor wind? Always a good start...
Anna: They’re about to leave when a man on the balcony (Andy) claims that God isn’t with them—and if he is, he’s not a nice bloke. The priest tries to talk him down but Andy promptly shoots himself in the head. What a drama queen.
~~SATAN’S SCREENSAVER!~~

#snarkathon – Top Gun

Snarking Top Gun has been on the radar for a long time. I don't remember who first suggested it, but I *do* know that my reaction was "HOLY SHIT YES PLEASE WE HAVE TO DO THIS OMG IT IS SO SNARKTASTIC". So obviously, when it came to me picking a movie for Snarkathon, there was only one possible option.
Also, if someone wants to remake this movie with Logan Echolls as the main character, I would be 100% okay with that.
ANYWAY. Let's get down to recapping, shall we?

Dawson’s Creek S03 E09 – Strictly ballroom

We open, as always, in the Shrine o' Spielberg where Pacey and Jen are making out. DUDE, NO. Who breaks into their best friend's house (although given the ladder, it's not REALLY breaking in, I guess??) to make out in their bed? Gross.
Democracy Diva: Also, pick a sexier room than the Shrine O'Spielberg to make out in. Avoid having E.T. watch you do the nasty at all costs.
K: Truth.
Anyway, the making out stops because they agree that they still have zero sexual interest in the other person. They discuss their past history and how everything should be falling into place because they came prepared (Pacey flashes condoms) and picked the perfect location (ugh).

Doctor Who S02 E03 – Blast from the past

We'll start this with an announcement: Sweeney is officially bowing out of these recaps. It's mostly because she needed to reorganize how she spends her time and this was an easier thing to take off her plate. She can probably tell you all her reasoning in the comments, because she's still going to try and hang out there and perhaps keep up with the series. That said, Sara will be joining us as the third recapper and our official Snow. YAY SARA!
Now episode:
GILES. I'm glad we're getting this out of the way so soon in the episode because GILES, GILES, GILES!

Dawson’s Creek S03 E08 – Schmaltzy meh

Jen and Pacey are having a domestic moment, grocery shopping and arguing about what to cook for Thanksgiving at Grams’s, which is conveniently ruining their sex-buddies situation. Pacey blames Jen for the fact that this situation has not actually happened yet, and she just kinda laughs at his foreplay, which, RUDE. Then Jen comes up with the brilliant idea to do it immediately before/during/after the Grams Turkey Day God Fest '99.
Pacey says, uh, kinda have to spend the holiday with own my terrible family at some point. (K: I don't even want to think about how horrible a Witter family Thanksgiving would be...) (D: I'm thankful we were spared a scene at the Witter house.) 

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