431 Posts

Author: K

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Dawson’s Creek S03 E07 – 300 Years of Slut Shaming

  • Posted byby K
  • January 26, 2015
  • 9 Comments
For the first time in approximately a million episodes, we DON'T start in the Shrine o' Spielberg. SCANDAL. Instead, we're at the video store, being reminded that Dawson has a job. Joey walks in and asks if there are any copies of The Crucible left. There aren't and she headdesks for being "that girl" who leaves her schoolwork to the last minute and who had no chance to read the book. Dawson's surprised, and she tells him she was too busy looking after Alexander and setting up the B&B to study. He's double surprised because apparently his best friend didn't bother to tell him that her house is being turned into a B&B. LOL. There's some awkward life catch-up back and forth, then Joey goes to leave and face her inevitable failure.
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Dawson’s Creek S03 E06 – This is some serious horseshit.

  • Posted byby K
  • January 22, 2015
  • 11 Comments
Capeside High. Dawson and Jen talk to each other like normal friends for perhaps the first time in this show’s history, and it's refreshing! She discusses turning into her mother, who was a beauty queen when she was young. Jen thinks she’s a poser for being elected homecoming queen, but Dawson thinks she’s being too hard on herself, and that people voted for her because she’s her. Jen still thinks her blonde hair and big tits had something to do with it, and Dawson doesn’t disagree, but he still thinks her "alternative" vibe is what's drawing people to her. Also, I tried to find a gif of Christina Applegate in Anchorman talking about her "exquisite breasts" to use here, but you would not believe how difficult that questionable google search was, you guys. I saw a LOT of Tumblr tits.
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Doctor Who S02 E02 – I am not amused.

  • Posted byby K
  • January 21, 2015
  • 20 Comments
A group of monks approach a castle and a bald one, the head monk presumably, tells a man that they want the house, and they will be taking it now. The owner is like LOL okay, do you want my wife, too? But Bald Head Monk isn't kidding around and says that he will take that shit with his fists. He kicks Home Owner to the ground and a fun(ny) fight scene develops as Bald Head Monk orders the other monks to remove their hoods, revealing a group of Not Monks who are actually Ninjas with badass fighting sticks. They fight their way through the entire castle, taking it over. Learning martial arts would be so be worth it if it kept you from having to sign a 30-year mortgage loan.
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Doctor Who S02 E01 – Freaky Friday

  • Posted byby K
  • January 14, 2015
  • 22 Comments
The Tenth Doctor and his Converse take charge of the TARDIS, and fiddles with various things on the console. He flicks a switch, and the engines start up, and he grins. It's pure Tennant "OMG THIS IS MY CHILDHOOD DREAM COME TRUE" and I love everything about it. Outside, Rose hugs Jackie and Mickey goodbye and runs in with what's clearly an empty pack on her back.
Marines: At least she's graduated to proper goodbyes with her family now. The sadness on Mickey's face as he watches her walk into the TARDIS and Jackie just walking away, sending her girl back into danger? I want to hug them both.
K: Same, girl, same.
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Doctor Who S02 E00 – No, seriously, doctor who?

  • Posted byby K
  • January 7, 2015
  • 60 Comments
First, there is a mini-episode that connects The Parting of the Ways with The Christmas Invasion, which you can watch here. Mostly it's Rose asking this new Doctor who he is. It's a single shot, tight scene that looks like it was filmed like this: Hey. No one move! Read this script real quick! We're gonna shoot it in five. And I mean that it in the nicest way possible, as I think this was aired to benefit charity... Point is that the acting is a bit off and it is a strange introduction to David Tennant's Doctor. I watched this and at the end yelled, "BRING BACK ECCLESTON."
Kirsti: Whereas, you know, I watched it after I'd already seen all of Ten and I squealed.
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Doctor Who S01 Wrap-Up Post

  • Posted byby K
  • December 27, 2014
  • 5 Comments
Marines: I understand that we have a little less reason to celebrate here, since Series 1 was only 13 episodes, but some of those first few (or 7) were rough....
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Doctor Who S01 E13 – The Oncoming Storm

  • Posted byby K
  • December 20, 2014
  • 31 Comments
When I originally wrote my part of this recap, three months ago, this was a lot of squealing about finishing a 13-episode season. Well, that took us a bit longer than anticipated between holidays and relocations and naps and stuff, but still: HOORAY FINISHING EVEN SHORT THINGS! Now, episode:
The Daleks all scream at Rose to predict the Doctor's next move, since she knows and understands him. She doesn't tell them that knowing the Doctor means knowing he's a bit unpredictable. I mean, a wide tooth smile, waving around his sonic screwdriver, a convenient way out of trouble. That's all I got.
Kirsti: Honey badger don't need no stinking plan! 
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Dawson’s Creek S03 E05 – Endless dealbreakers

  • Posted byby K
  • December 18, 2014
  • 10 Comments
Shrine o' Spielberg. Due to their sad tragic single status and the fact that it's apparently a million degrees, movie night's list of attendees has been reduced to Dawson and Pacey. It may also have something to do with how much they're sweating. Seriously, it's gross:
Democracy Diva: For real. They don't even look like they're sweating - they just look like they're covered in baby oil.
K: YES. Which, to be honest, they probably were.
Pacey bemoans the state of their lives, and also how much Indian summer sucks, thereby earning himself a shiny gold star.
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Dawson’s Creek S03 E04 – FOR THE ORPHANS!

  • Posted byby K
  • December 15, 2014
  • 21 Comments
Shrine O’Spielberg. Pacey struts in with some outdated film technology. Dawson’s working on a documentary for his mother that might air this Friday. (Why no one employed by her station can actually film this thing is a question only the Great Contrivance Spirit can answer.) Pacey just can’t believe Dawson’s willing to stop focusing on fantasy and film something real, even for a second.
Kirsti: Meanwhile, I spent this scene being distracted about the fact that Pacey's brought the gun show to town...
Diva: YUM.
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Doctor Who S01 E12 – Daleks Heart Reality TV

  • Posted byby K
  • December 10, 2014
  • 34 Comments
This episode is off to a great start because the title is Bad Wolf which means we kick off the drinking game BEFORE we start watching. This pleases me greatly.
We start 100 years after the Simon Pegg episode. The Doctor wakes up in a tiny spinny elevator. He falls out and a girl with pigtail buns helps him up as he stumbles about, terribly confused by how he got there. Pigtails explains that he's been "chosen" to be in some sort of Big Brother type house. The Doctor is summoned into "the diary room" where he sits down in a big red chair with a giant case of "Are you fucking kidding me?" which is a fair reaction.
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Supernatural S03 E03 – A spot of bad luck

  • Posted byby K
  • December 10, 2014
  • 12 Comments
We open at a prison. A dude I know from One Episode of Everything Ever heads into the visiting area where he's visiting Gordon. UGH, GORDON. (A: I second this ugh.) He fills Gordon in on what happened in Wyoming, and Gordon's all "SAM WINCHESTER WAS THERE". Our random visitor, Kubrick, confirms it, but says he's heard the Winchesters were there to help. Gordon refuses to believe it, and says "Sam Winchester must die". He hangs up the phone (without saying goodbye) and we fade to black.
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Dawson’s Creek S03 E03 – Cheating won’t get you a 1430

  • Posted byby K
  • December 4, 2014
  • 16 Comments
Shrine o' Spielberg. Dawson's plans for a get-to-know-you movie night with Eve have gone awry because a) she prefers TV and b) she's taken over said TV and is making him watch Felicity. I laugh for approximately a hundred years over his "HOW CAN YOU PREFER TV?!?!?!" reaction. She says TV is the same thing but "shorter and with built in bathroom breaks" and she's not at all wrong. Dawson scoffs some more, particularly when she says it's like getting a new sequel every week, because "Sequels I hate on principle". Ugh. Go fuck yourself, Dawson Leery. I'll just be over here with Captain America: The Winter Soldier, shitting all over your arguments.
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Doctor Who S01 E11 – Surf’s up

  • Posted byby K
  • December 3, 2014
  • 14 Comments
After a bunch of previouslies reminding us about the Slitheen, a worried man tells someone off screen that he's looked at the plans for something and they're unsafe. He pleads with Mystery Person to put a stop to it immediately before millions of people die. The camera pans around to show us Margaret, now in some position of authority. After establishing that he hasn't shared this information with anyone else, he turns away and says that the plans are almost as if someone wants the project to go wrong, wants to wipe the entire city off the map. He turns and screams because Margaret has taken off her skin suit and is all Slitheen-y. She attacks and we throw to the credits.
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Supernatural S03 E02 – Leave me alone, tiny Satan

  • Posted byby K
  • December 3, 2014
  • 21 Comments
We open in Cicero, Indiana where a (presumably divorced) father is dropping his daughter home. Something’s clearly got her spooked, as she runs straight to her mum—according to dad, she pitched a fit. She missed her mother and doesn’t want to stay at her dad’s any more. “He’s mean, and there are monsters there,” she complains—her mother comforts her, as we cut to the dad’s house.
Like most homeowners in this series, the dad seems to have a Basement Of Don’t Go In There, and – bonus! – it’s filled with lots of woodwork tools. This can only end well. He’s making a wooden rocking horse, which is one leg away from completion - is that for his daughter? ‘Cause if so no wonder she doesn't want to stay with him, he’s hilariously out of touch; she’s about five years too old for a rocking horse.

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