A title card tells us we're going back to Sunnydale California, nineteen days earlier, and I already know it's going to be a sick joke in which we travel back solely to see how Spike got trapped in a glitter tornado. Sure enough, we find ourselves back in the Hellmouth, Spike all aglow in his magical, world saving, orange light.
Kirsti: Out of context, that scene just looks insane.
Sweeney: I didn't think about that, but you're right. I know we have a few Angel-before-Buffy watchers and I am deeply curious to hear how this came across to you without watching Buffy.
Lawrence, Kansas. A young woman (who we last saw reporting on how awesome Jasmine is!) sits in her darkened kitchen, surrounded by moving boxes. She pulls out her wedding photo and tears up. She stops herself when her daughter walks in and says that she can't sleep because there's something in her closet. Upstairs, Widow!Mom checks the closet and declares it free from monsters, though the cameraman lurking in the depths would indicate otherwise. She tucks her daughter, Sari, into bed. Sari says that she doesn't like this house, but Widow!Mom says it's just because she's not used to it, and that they'll be very happy there. She turns the light out and goes to leave, but Sari demands that she first barricade the closet shut with a chair.
First of all, you should know that I'm writing this while watching The Oscars, so I think you should all play your very own Snark Squad Drinking Game of, "Spot the recap's many inaccuracies." It'll be fun. I promise. Maybe.
Kirsti: It won't be fun at all, because Kirsti The Eternally Anal Retentive will have fixed them all. But sure. Fun.
Lorraine: Well, that ruins the game before it started. Okay, guys. I guess you should now all be playing, "drink whenever you spot a place where an inaccuracy may have been!" HAPPY DRINKING.
Kirsti: It won't be fun at all, because Kirsti The Eternally Anal Retentive will have fixed them all. But sure. Fun.
Lorraine: Well, that ruins the game before it started. Okay, guys. I guess you should now all be playing, "drink whenever you spot a place where an inaccuracy may have been!" HAPPY DRINKING.
Construction Zone. Some construction guys are building new, ritzy houses in a classy subdivision. Beardy Construction Guy complains about mosquitoes right as another guy falls through a weird hole and breaks his ankle. As Beardy Construction Guy runs to get a rope to pull him out, the guy in the hole gets COVERED in bugs, and this is like the third Supernatural recap I've gotten that involves something that legitimately terrifies me. UGH. By the time Beardy Construction Guy gets back, the guy in the hole is laying at the bottom (with no bugs on him) and bleeding from the eyes, nose, and ears.
Kirsti: Hello, nightmare.
Kirsti: Hello, nightmare.
A sorority house at Eastern Iowa University. A mousy looking girl dresses for a date in a denim skirt and long sleeved button up blouse. She asks her roommate what she thinks, and said roommate "Oh, honey, no"s her. (S: True friend material.) She crosses to her dresser and grabs a midriff baring lacy red halter top and insists that Mousy Girl wear that instead. After a little reluctance, Mousy Girl puts it on. Ho Suspension Roommate approves and tells her not to do anything she wouldn't. Mousy Girl says that there's nothing she wouldn't do as she heads out. "That's true," Ho Suspension Roommate grins as she flips through her magazine.
Cut to an SUV pulling up under a wooden bridge in the dark. From the shadows, we see a silver hook glint. Mousy Girl says that she thought they were going to a party, and her date says they can't possibly arrive on time. She eyerolls a little at his obviousness, then leans over and kisses him.
Cut to an SUV pulling up under a wooden bridge in the dark. From the shadows, we see a silver hook glint. Mousy Girl says that she thought they were going to a party, and her date says they can't possibly arrive on time. She eyerolls a little at his obviousness, then leans over and kisses him.
We skipped out on the dance party during our season three wrap-up post, but hot damn do we deserve it this time:
Season four was an interesting experience. I think I felt a similar need to get out of a season back when we were doing Buffy season 6, but at the same time this was a completely different beast. Buffy season 6 made me angry. I understood the story, but I didn't like the story. These are all things you've heard before. The point is that here, there was a lot less anger, but like exponentially more head scratching.
And bursts of laughter.
Season four was an interesting experience. I think I felt a similar need to get out of a season back when we were doing Buffy season 6, but at the same time this was a completely different beast. Buffy season 6 made me angry. I understood the story, but I didn't like the story. These are all things you've heard before. The point is that here, there was a lot less anger, but like exponentially more head scratching.
And bursts of laughter.
We pick up immediately where we left off. Angel demands to know what Lilah's doing there, but Wes insists that it can't be Lilah on account of he chopped her head off. "There's a signed dollar in your wallet that says different," Lilah says. Wes turns away. Lilah looks to Angel and tells him to use his creepy vampire senses. He tells Wes that it's really Lilah. Fred asks how it's possible, and Angel uses his supersmelling powers to deduce that Lilah's still dead. (L: EW. JESUS. WHY.)(S: Mega letdown because I was hoping for crossover magic with this being first!Lilah. Boo.) (K: That would have been much better than reality.) Gunn asks if she's a vampire, and she "EW NO GROSS"es before pulling down the high collar on her shirt to show the line across her neck from where Wes decapitated her, which means she can't be a vampire. She and Wes share a meaningful look.
St. Louis, MO. We open this episode with a girl tied to a chair and covered in blood. A man is in the room with her, holding a knife. Cops enter the house and follow the blood stains to find the girl still alive. As they untie her, the girl motions to the room behind them and the cops find the guy standing at the door, with the bloody knife still in his hand. They instruct him to turn around, and when he does, it's Dean.
Kirsti: The entire thing is done to the strains of Iron Butterfly's In-a-Gadda-da-Vida, which would probably be a lot spookier if it didn't immediately conjure up memories of Bart Simpson selling his soul to Milhouse for $5...
Kirsti: The entire thing is done to the strains of Iron Butterfly's In-a-Gadda-da-Vida, which would probably be a lot spookier if it didn't immediately conjure up memories of Bart Simpson selling his soul to Milhouse for $5...
The stare down from the end of last episode continues. I wanted to think that Lorne was in the background this whole time playing with his Magic 8 Ball, but a wider shot reveals he's holding a crossbow. Damn.
Cordevilia asks Angel what finally tipped him off to the evil. He says it was a slip of the tongue as earlier, Cordelia called her demon spawn, "my sweet" which was apparently a phrase she used while she was talking to Angelus via head-intercom. Cordelia's all, "SERIOUSLY?" because considering that she was wearing a giant I'M FUCKING EVIL outfit, and generally acting shady as shit, saying a few simple words seems like a lousy way to go down.
Cordevilia asks Angel what finally tipped him off to the evil. He says it was a slip of the tongue as earlier, Cordelia called her demon spawn, "my sweet" which was apparently a phrase she used while she was talking to Angelus via head-intercom. Cordelia's all, "SERIOUSLY?" because considering that she was wearing a giant I'M FUCKING EVIL outfit, and generally acting shady as shit, saying a few simple words seems like a lousy way to go down.
The previouslies suggest that Gwen is coming back, so I'm trying to keep that in mind as I watch this scene in which Cordevilia comes clean about her pregnancy in the Maternity Outfit of Evil and the gang is totally oblivious to her Bad Girl Styling. I know there's no leather, but this is like the fashion equivalent of the Big Book of Villain Gloating. I CAN'T EVEN. WAKE UP, FANG GANG. They're too busy fussing about how quickly she's developed, though Wesley is quick to point out that this isn't Cordelia's first mystical pregnancy rodeo and she came to term the same night on her last go-round. Cordevila takes offense to that comparison because she loves this baby. To be fair, Cordelia loved her hellspawn during pregnancy the last time around too. Connor's reassuring stance by her side doesn't do the NOT A HELLSPAWN! argument any favors.
I have no qualms about saying that this episode freaks me the fuck out, and I didn't even grow up in a country where trying to summon a ghost in the bathroom mirror at a sleepover is even a thing. (S: Lucky.) We open in Toledo, Ohio where a trio of 12 year old girls are playing Truth or Dare by candlelight. One of the girls, Lily asks for a dare and is told by her friend to say Bloody Mary in the bathroom mirror. Here, random friend, have a gold star!
Anyway, the second friend asks who Bloody Mary is, and there's some confusion over the background but the gist is that if you say her name three times in the mirror, she appears and scratches your eyes out. "So...why would anyone say it?!" asks the second friend, who's clearly the only sensible one here.
Anyway, the second friend asks who Bloody Mary is, and there's some confusion over the background but the gist is that if you say her name three times in the mirror, she appears and scratches your eyes out. "So...why would anyone say it?!" asks the second friend, who's clearly the only sensible one here.
We open at an airport where some guy is looking super anxious. He heads to the bathroom and is splashing water on his face, and a random other guy says not to worry because your odds of dying in a plane crash are 20,000 to 1. YEAH, NOT WHAT I WANNA HEAR, MAN. Let me just go ahead and tell you that flying is my absolute biggest fear and the majority of my nightmares center around plane crashes, so I'm pretty sure this episode is going to ruin me.
Kirsti: I'm not afraid of flying on account of I've been doing it on the regular since I was like nine months old (also because I live in Australia and it's really fucking time consuming to get ANYWHERE if you don't fly), but bathroom guy is a total asshat for listing that hugely unhelpful statistic.
Kirsti: I'm not afraid of flying on account of I've been doing it on the regular since I was like nine months old (also because I live in Australia and it's really fucking time consuming to get ANYWHERE if you don't fly), but bathroom guy is a total asshat for listing that hugely unhelpful statistic.
We open at a cabin in Lake Manitoc, Wisconsin. Inside, a skinny blonde girl in a warm up suit greets her father and brother, the latter of whom informs her that she shouldn't work out so much because guys don't like buff girls. How about GO FUCK YOURSELF, I WORK OUT FOR ME. She informs him that girls don't like guys who still live at home before she heads out the door. (S: BURN.) Her dad tells her to be careful.
Cut to her standing in a bathing suit next to the lake. We get a weirdly far away shot taken through some bushes as she dives in. We follow her underwater for a second, then she surfaces. She looks to the shoreline as if she's heard something, then swims for a few moments and does a tumble turn. Which I really don't see the point of because there's no wall to push off.
Cut to her standing in a bathing suit next to the lake. We get a weirdly far away shot taken through some bushes as she dives in. We follow her underwater for a second, then she surfaces. She looks to the shoreline as if she's heard something, then swims for a few moments and does a tumble turn. Which I really don't see the point of because there's no wall to push off.
Blackwater Ridge. Lost Creek, Colorado. Something is growling outside of a tent in the middle of the woods. Three guys inside are playing video games on handheld devices, and HEY. One of them is Cory Monteith! Aw, feels.
Kirsti: Especially seeing as this was one of his few chances to play an age appropriate character. Sniff, tear, sob.
Sara: Another guy is recording a message on his phone for someone named Haley, telling her that he's fine and will talk to her tomorrow. Probably not if that growly thing has anything to say about it. Also, that's some sweet cell service!
Kirsti: Especially seeing as this was one of his few chances to play an age appropriate character. Sniff, tear, sob.
Sara: Another guy is recording a message on his phone for someone named Haley, telling her that he's fine and will talk to her tomorrow. Probably not if that growly thing has anything to say about it. Also, that's some sweet cell service!
What's that? You've been wanting us to cover Supernatural? You ask, we deliver. This one's going to be a little different, because Sweeney is firmly on the Nope Train as far as Supernatural is concerned, and Lor's got enough on her plate. So y'all are stuck with Sara and me instead. SORRY NOT SORRY.
Sara: SO NOT SORRY BECAUSE: CUTE BOYS AND MONSTERS.
K: Truth. I've been a salt gunner from day one, although I must admit that I took a little break somewhere around season 6 when things got really shitty. But I marathonned my way through season 6, season 7 and season 8 earlier this year, and was firmly back on board in time for season 9.
Sara: SO NOT SORRY BECAUSE: CUTE BOYS AND MONSTERS.
K: Truth. I've been a salt gunner from day one, although I must admit that I took a little break somewhere around season 6 when things got really shitty. But I marathonned my way through season 6, season 7 and season 8 earlier this year, and was firmly back on board in time for season 9.
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