Previously: The Volturi, ruh-roh! — Marines: Bella tells us that they just sat up all night, being worried. We can all at least thank all that is good that we didn’t...
Previously: Irina growled at Bella. — K: In typical Stephenie Meyer fashion, we pick up EXACTLY WHERE WE LEFT OFF. Edward and Carlisle can’t find Irina. They ring Tanya to let...
Previously: Bella sniffed out an outfit. — Marines: Hey, it’s been a hot minute but I’m confident that the awful is fresh in your mind and that we will fall right...
Previously: Charlie came for a visit and Bella didn’t eat him. — Annie: Charlie is going to leave, but pauses to remind us that Bella’s mother is useless and stupid. He...
Previously: The Doctor shouted at Amy and River. A LOT. — The Vampires of Venice Dani: Venice, 1580. A Venetian dude begs some middle-aged woman who’s dressed like royalty (and sitting...
Previously: Weird sex cult cabin in the woods. — Marines: Bella says that it only takes one word to remind her of her priorities: Renesmee. Congratulations. You only need to be...
Previously: Bella didn’t handle the imprinting bullshit so well. Shocker. — Kirsti: Let’s start off with a little warning, because this chapter is fucking disgusting, y’all. We pick up literally exactly...
Previously: There was extra room in Bella’s brain. — Catherine: After the curbhanger of Bella lunging at Jacob because he gave her baby a stupid nickname last chapter, this chapter opens...
After the recap, we're thrown straight into the credits.
DOO WEE OOO! (I still miss the old credits, to be honest.)
Dani: Same.
Marines: SHHHH. DOO WEE OOOO.
DOO WEE OOO! (I still miss the old credits, to be honest.)
Dani: Same.
Marines: SHHHH. DOO WEE OOOO.
We open the chapter with Bella talking about how her new special vampire brain is much bigger than her human brain because now she has room in there for questions about her daughter...
K: Dafuq?
Marines: She literally calls her brain strange, new and "roomy." ROOMY.
I... I don't think that's giving off the vibe you want, airhead.
K: Dafuq?
Marines: She literally calls her brain strange, new and "roomy." ROOMY.
I... I don't think that's giving off the vibe you want, airhead.
Bella looks out the window, kind of hesitating about jumping from the second story. She says she isn't afraid of heights, but with her HD vision, she can now see the sharpness of the rocks below even better... What kind of MF rocks do they have below this second story window, for goodness's sake? I don't care how good your vision is, HOW SHARP COULD THEY BE?
Hahahaha, LUCKY ME I GET TO RECAP THE CHAPTER WHERE BELLA JUST LOOKS AT THINGS WITH HER NEW VAMPIRE EYEBALLS.
Annie: Still recovering from the birth chapter, so... I love you, but I do not have the emotional capacity to show sympathy for you rn.
Marines: On the brightish side, our readers will certainly be v sympathetic to our long bouts of silence, surely.
Catherine: I can't see how they wouldn't be. They are very charitable.
Annie: Still recovering from the birth chapter, so... I love you, but I do not have the emotional capacity to show sympathy for you rn.
Marines: On the brightish side, our readers will certainly be v sympathetic to our long bouts of silence, surely.
Catherine: I can't see how they wouldn't be. They are very charitable.
A soldier stands in a field with a smudge of lipstick on his face. He's kind of twirling around, indicating that he is dizzy and out of sorts. A man in evening wear (accompanied by two other soldiers) stomps very unhappily over to Dizzy Soldier and wipes a little of the lipstick smudge off his face.
We cut to Dizzy Smudge sitting in what TV has taught me can only be a super secret underground something. He's still out of it and Angry Evening Wear Man waited until they got all the way back to the office and out of the field to declare the lipstick smudge a hallucinogenic.
We cut to Dizzy Smudge sitting in what TV has taught me can only be a super secret underground something. He's still out of it and Angry Evening Wear Man waited until they got all the way back to the office and out of the field to declare the lipstick smudge a hallucinogenic.
This is the first episode of Doctor Who that I get to recap, and I'm so psyched to join the team that I won't even complain about it involving stupid Daleks.
Marines: That's a lot of excitement because UGH, DALEKS. Also, so happy to have you!
Kirsti: I'm super happy to have you toobecause it means I have to recap fewer episodes of the Matt Smith era!!
Dani: #Priorities
Marines: That's a lot of excitement because UGH, DALEKS. Also, so happy to have you!
Kirsti: I'm super happy to have you too
Dani: #Priorities
Oh, hey, friends. Long time no see. MY BAD. Honestly, a big part of the delay on this has to do with the fact that I needed to find gifs for it, and finding gifs for Dawson's Creek is practically impossible after season 3. I mean, there are Pacephine Tumblrs, but they suck at tagging things, and I'm not about to wade through 64 pages of posts on the off chance there's something useable there. So instead I... just kind of gave up on giffing. Sorry. Have a giant wall of text instead?
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