We open this chapter in the car, on the ride home from the graduation party. Bella is being her usual ungrateful self and is complaining about how the graduation party was way too long.
You should try reading these goddamn books, Bella. (C: Seriously.) (K: AGREED.)
Edward is petting her arm, because she needs soothing. Like a baby. Bella tells us all the ways the vampires soothed her: Alice patted her, Esme kissed her forehead and Emmett burped her, then swaddled her. Probably.
Marines: I wonder if anyone thought to try a binky. I hear it helps.
As Bella walks the plank that will lead her to a UGH, OH MY GOD, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? party, Edward sneaks up behind her and pulls her into a kiss. Bella tells us there is too much "tension edge" and "lip crush" to the kiss, which has her worried. Because Edward only kisses her to manipulate her, prove a point, or when he's secretly trying to say goodbye.
Annie: Again, why the fuck are they together? There is no real passion here, unless you count the passion for murdering her, so what the fuck.
Annie: Again, why the fuck are they together? There is no real passion here, unless you count the passion for murdering her, so what the fuck.
Bella stands in front of her wardrobe doing the typical "I have nothing to wear to graduation!" rant. She's planning on finding a top to go with her khaki skirt, and I'm going to go out on a limb and say that the fact that she owns a khaki skirt explains a lot about why she doesn't have anything to wear.
Marines: Now, I don't know if you wrote this recap before we spent time making fun of this khaki skirt or if you are just taking any opportunity to make fun of the khaki skirt. Either way: LOL.
Marines: Now, I don't know if you wrote this recap before we spent time making fun of this khaki skirt or if you are just taking any opportunity to make fun of the khaki skirt. Either way: LOL.
Open with Joey in the guidance office, being told by an very well-coiffed counselor that "it suits you," the 'it' in this situation being the panicky doe-eyed look that Joey seems to have as a high school senior applying for colleges. Someone should probably tell the counselor that's just how her face is, though. Joey makes a crack about just going to clown college but the counselor reassures her that she's actually doing really well on the whole process. Except, of course, for a completely arbitrary (and possibly made up) peer-review from ‘the person who knows her best’ which will OF COURSE necessitate a choice between Pacey and Dawson.
The TARDIS lands, and the Doctor rushes out in a panic into suburban London, Donna behind him. He's surprised to see that everything's perfectly normal. Donna's too busy being all, "so that was Rose Tyler, huh?" (M: Kinda fair given all the Doctor's moping over her...) The Doctor says that if Rose is back, it means the walls between parallel universes are breaking down, and they'll take all the dimensions down with them. He rushes back into the TARDIS. Across the street from the TARDIS, a milk van starts to shake, and the tiles fall off a house roof. The milkman stares up at the sky in shock.
It's Wednesday afternoon. I know that, because Bella tells us so. Alice is planning on throwing the graduation party anyway, because the invitations have already been sent. They argue a bit about whether or not it's appropriate to have a party with the impending doom hanging over them. Alice tells Bella that she will only graduate from high school for the first time once, so that's cause to celebrate and do it right.
Kirsti: It causes me pain to say this, but I'm actually siding with Bella on this one.
Catherine: I mean, right? 'For the first time once' isn't even a good incentive?
Kirsti: It causes me pain to say this, but I'm actually siding with Bella on this one.
Catherine: I mean, right? 'For the first time once' isn't even a good incentive?
We've been super inconsistent here and when that happens you can just blame it on me. This month in the ongoing saga of why my life is kind of chaotic, I started a brand new job after being out of the country for a couple of weeks. Also, though, reading this book is hard.
Kirsti: SO FREAKING HARD OH MY GOD.
Annie: I'm on week 3 of my 7 week vacation and I'm still finding it hard to read this book, so.
Kirsti: SO FREAKING HARD OH MY GOD.
Annie: I'm on week 3 of my 7 week vacation and I'm still finding it hard to read this book, so.
Future, at an unidentified Asian locale. (K: Hooray! Not!White places are always exciting to me.) Donna and the Doctor are walking through a market and generally being so damn happy and adorable that it hurts me. We know that the Doctor has all of these adventures with his companions and we, as the audience, seem to stop in on them when things go wrong. They reference, though, and there is this sense that there are other, generally "normal" adventures. I know everything is about to go to shit in one moment, but this brief moment of pure travel adventure gave me feelings.
The next day, Alice informs Bella that they're throwing a graduation party, and also she's only telling Bella this because she had a vision that Bella would freak the fuck out if it was a surprise. (M: HOW THE HELL is she having a vision about that if it is in no way a decision Bella is making...?) (K: Contrivance.) Bella grumbles about it, and then wants to know why they couldn't have waited to tell her until closer to graduation. Alice is all "Uh. Graduation is a week away, girl..."
Marines: Time kind of speeds up on me all the time. I get it. But more in a, "I can't believe it's June!" kind of way and not this crazy reaction Bella's having because apparently she missed the June memo entirely.
Marines: Time kind of speeds up on me all the time. I get it. But more in a, "I can't believe it's June!" kind of way and not this crazy reaction Bella's having because apparently she missed the June memo entirely.
So after Bella was handed off for partial custody from vampire to werewolf last chapter, she starts this chapter at a bonfire with all of the werewolves.
They're eating hotdogs and talking.
Kirsti: More accurately, they're eating hot dogs that were cooked on wire hangers. I'm still not sure why that level of detail was necessary.
They're eating hotdogs and talking.
Kirsti: More accurately, they're eating hot dogs that were cooked on wire hangers. I'm still not sure why that level of detail was necessary.
I'm trying very hard to ignore the fact that the name of this chapter is "Scent."
The chapter opens with Bella wondering why they're all so immature. Me, too, Bell-Bells.
Edward tells Bella that he doesn't feel any personal antagonism towards Jacob.
LOLOLOL. Okay. Sure.
Catherine: LOL. Yeah right, Edward. It's all just professional anger and not at all about the girl you're fighting over.
Kirsti: "I wish he'd die in a fire, but it's nothing personal!"
The chapter opens with Bella wondering why they're all so immature. Me, too, Bell-Bells.
Edward tells Bella that he doesn't feel any personal antagonism towards Jacob.
LOLOLOL. Okay. Sure.
Catherine: LOL. Yeah right, Edward. It's all just professional anger and not at all about the girl you're fighting over.
Kirsti: "I wish he'd die in a fire, but it's nothing personal!"
Alice drops Bella off at her house the next day, since they are still pretending that they were having a sleep over to hide the fact that Bella's half kidnapped, half not getting any. When Bella gets inside, Charlie right away lets her know that she's got a message. Jacob called to say he was sorry and Charlie adds to give him a break because he sounded upset. He doesn't add, "anything is better than Edward," but it's implied.
Bella and Jacob end up on the beach again, and he asks if she thinks the Cullens will come get her. She says they won't, but that they'll be hella pissed when she goes back. He suggests not going back, and her only response is that Charlie would love that because he's biased towards "my Quileute friends". Uh. You mean Jacob? The rest tolerate you because of him, girl.
Annie: Actually, Charlie is biased towards anyone who isn't the controlling, abusive, blood-thirsty boyfriend, but you tell yourself whatever makes you happier to stay in that relationship, Bells.
Annie: Actually, Charlie is biased towards anyone who isn't the controlling, abusive, blood-thirsty boyfriend, but you tell yourself whatever makes you happier to stay in that relationship, Bells.
Capeside High library. Andie tells Jen that she knows applying for college is overwhelming, and suggests she start by looking at schools in New York, seeing as she lived there before and has been talking about going back. Jen's all "I've been saying WHAT?" Yeah, turns out Drue's been spreading rumours again. Asshole.
"'According to him' would be the key phrase. He's the Dark Prince of Revisionist History..." Jen snaps. Best. Jack rushes in, totally out of breath. Andie asks what's going on and he totally downplays it, being all "Oh, you got something in post. Totally not a big deal.
"'According to him' would be the key phrase. He's the Dark Prince of Revisionist History..." Jen snaps. Best. Jack rushes in, totally out of breath. Andie asks what's going on and he totally downplays it, being all "Oh, you got something in post. Totally not a big deal.
I can't believe I got this chapter. I'm actually a little freaked out because I remember it being pretty upsetting and not very funny or easy to make fun of. In fact, I feel compelled to issue a trigger warning here for sexual assault and rape, on the grounds that it's almost definitely gonna get discussed. Because it's sort of what this chapter is about. But it's only in a flashback if that makes you guys feel any better?
Annie: Yeah, I'd completely blocked this part out of my memory, probably on account of it being trigging. Thanks, Stephenie.
Catherine: THANKS, STEPHENIE.
Annie: Yeah, I'd completely blocked this part out of my memory, probably on account of it being trigging. Thanks, Stephenie.
Catherine: THANKS, STEPHENIE.
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