Previously: Ana and Grey totally “did it” and she felt lots of things “down there,” and I ain’t talking about her toes, ifyouknowwhatImean. — Lorraine: Ana wakes up and apparently having sex...
Previously: Ana and Grey whispered at each other a lot as Grey revealed that he is a Dominant in search of a sub. Grey shows Ana his contract of sub-stuff, which...
HAI BLOG HAI. So a whole shitstorm of shitstorminess happened right after I got married. For example, 1) my car broke down and I had to buy a new one, b) my laptop committed suicide, and 2a) I got laid off at work. Just last night, my wonderful husband fixed my computer because he is the best husband in the whole world really, really tired of listening to me bitch about it.
The moment I found out my laptop was fixed, I texted Lorraine to say, "COMPUTER FIXED. FIFTY SHADES OF GREY. I AM SO IN." Because when you're talking about a book as awful as this one, the shouty capitals are really necessary.
The moment I found out my laptop was fixed, I texted Lorraine to say, "COMPUTER FIXED. FIFTY SHADES OF GREY. I AM SO IN." Because when you're talking about a book as awful as this one, the shouty capitals are really necessary.
Previously: Ana used Grey’s toothbrush. — Lorraine: After their “fuck the paperwork,” spur-of-the-moment kiss in the elevator, Ana is thrown. It’s only happened approximately 30 seconds ago, but she’s already...
Previously: Grey warns Ana away from him and then gives her an expensive stay-away-from-me gift. Ana goes to celebrate graduation by getting drunk and Grey tracks her cell phone and...
Lorraine: Ana and Grey are hugging post Bicycle Gate. Ana's suddenly convinced that she's a telepath, as she's sending some very intense, "KISS ME DAMN IT," thoughts towards Grey. She would make the first move but:
1.) this is the first time, ever, in 21 years that Ana's wanted to kiss anyone at all. I'm pretty sure if she went in for the kiss first, well...
2.) Something is wrong with Ana! See, she's "paralyzed with a strange, unfamiliar need." She's like one of those goats that faint when they get scared. Except it's when her *ahem* happy parts *ahem* get happy. BAM. Paralyzed.
1.) this is the first time, ever, in 21 years that Ana's wanted to kiss anyone at all. I'm pretty sure if she went in for the kiss first, well...
2.) Something is wrong with Ana! See, she's "paralyzed with a strange, unfamiliar need." She's like one of those goats that faint when they get scared. Except it's when her *ahem* happy parts *ahem* get happy. BAM. Paralyzed.
Lorraine: After I saw “The Avengers” on Saturday afternoon with some friends, we spent a hefty chunk of time discussing what we’d just seen. We quoted lines back to each...
Ana calls Kate with the photo shoot news and Kate's very excited. She's also convinced that Grey's intentions are more than just a helping out the newspaper. Kate's all, "isn't it kind of weird that he followed you all the way to where you work and gave you his cell phone number?" Yes. Yes it is.
Ana regurgitates Grey's "I was in the area" thing and I can just imagine Kate rolling her eyes.
I didn't mention this in chapter 2, but Ana keeps telling us about this "small, quiet voice" in her head. Actually, she told us specifically that this voice was coming from the base of her brain in the medulla oblongata where her subconscious lives, because E.L. James wants to make sure you have all the details, ever. And, I know we all have conscious thought but her voice is kind of creepy and it's always whispering things.
Ana regurgitates Grey's "I was in the area" thing and I can just imagine Kate rolling her eyes.
I didn't mention this in chapter 2, but Ana keeps telling us about this "small, quiet voice" in her head. Actually, she told us specifically that this voice was coming from the base of her brain in the medulla oblongata where her subconscious lives, because E.L. James wants to make sure you have all the details, ever. And, I know we all have conscious thought but her voice is kind of creepy and it's always whispering things.
Ana hurries off the elevator, eager to get away from Grey, and almost falls. Again. I'm trying really hard here not to make the SHE IS BELLA SWAN observation, but I guess I just failed. Beyond that, I'm always very confused by authors who want to make their characters clumsy. I mean, I'm clumsy! I am. But it just always comes across so heavy handed in books. Ana just fell Bambi-style in Grey's office. Did we need her tripping off of an elevator a few pages later?
Ana tells us no less than four times that she has no idea what her reaction to Grey was all about. Well Ana, my personal opinion is that your reaction to Grey was all about you being an idiot. I guess we were supposed to glean that she was having a strong reaction to being around him. It's probably 'cause he's got all that built up static electricity.
Ana tells us no less than four times that she has no idea what her reaction to Grey was all about. Well Ana, my personal opinion is that your reaction to Grey was all about you being an idiot. I guess we were supposed to glean that she was having a strong reaction to being around him. It's probably 'cause he's got all that built up static electricity.
I knew precious little about the "Fifty Shades of Grey" series when I picked it up-- mostly that it had been appearing all over my Goodreads timeline and that it seemed to have a polarizing effect on readers.
I probably should've paid more attention to the, you know, description.
It was the very first page of the book that convinced me that this story was begging to be snarked: it opened with a girl checking herself out in a mirror! Aw, E.L. James. Way to take a page out of 90% of all Sweet Valley High books ever written.
I probably should've paid more attention to the, you know, description.
It was the very first page of the book that convinced me that this story was begging to be snarked: it opened with a girl checking herself out in a mirror! Aw, E.L. James. Way to take a page out of 90% of all Sweet Valley High books ever written.
Lorraine: I’m not actually sure that this update will be at all snarky, mostly because it’s just me and I don’t have any material from Stine or Martin or Pascal...
——————————————————— For thirty-five girls, the Selection is the chance of a lifetime. The opportunity to escape the life laid out for them since birth. To be swept up in a...
Previously: Dawn has legit issues but we instead spend a whole book bringing Toddlers and Tiaras to Stoneybrook. — Sweeney: It has been a while, Traumateers. Lorraine: Yeeeeeah. Well. About...
Previously: We learned the valuable lesson that whores are not allowed on the cheerleading squad. Said whore then tries to commit suicide because she is sad and everyone is all...
Lily: We find ourselves with the Alden kids going on vacation yet again. Jessie told Henry that she believed their grandpa was up to something because he was extra happy,...
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