Okay guys. Here it is. The recap where we will finally find out what happens when Tessa finds a boy in her room.
Marines: Don't forget she's in a towel! The suspense is killing approximately no one.
Samantha: She asks the brown haired rude boy where Steph is. Her voice comes out in a squeak so maybe she swallowed a mouse in the heathen shower. The boy kind of half smirks at her but doesn't answer her legit question. I hate him already you guys.
Tessa's mommy dearest lectures her for an hour.
An hour later, after listening to my mother warn me against the dangers of parties and college men-- and using some language that's rather uncomfortable for Noah and me to hear from her-- she finally makes her move to leave."
An hour later, after listening to my mother warn me against the dangers of parties and college men-- and using some language that's rather uncomfortable for Noah and me to hear from her-- she finally makes her move to leave."
The episode begins with Laurel watching a short, anti-war film commissioned by Luke’s PAC. It’s overly melodramatic, plus it blames the One Percent/Wall Street for trying to start the war, since they’ll profit the most from it. Luke tells Laurel to make notes on how to improve it and then give her feedback to the guy who made the film, because that won’t be awkward at all.
Upstairs, Red is commending Jules (the car-ramming, ambulance-diverting founder of the One Wayers) on the excellent work she’s done.
Upstairs, Red is commending Jules (the car-ramming, ambulance-diverting founder of the One Wayers) on the excellent work she’s done.
Today, Supergirl season 2 premieres. It's not that we were so slow and so late that the new season is lapping us, it's that we wanted to celebrate the new season with last season's finale.
Yeah.
Samantha: That sounds like something we would do. We're so considerate.
Catherine: This is correct. We planned this.
Yeah.
Samantha: That sounds like something we would do. We're so considerate.
Catherine: This is correct. We planned this.
Previously: The Snark Ladies have decided to tell you a little bit about what they think of this Fall season’s new TV shows. Below is the next bunch of shows...
Alright so we decided to do something a little different and split up the last two episodes of Season 1 so we can open up the discussion more and make something more interesting for you guys to read.
Lol. Just kidding. We literally had to do this because we've now put off recapping the end of the season for A FULL YEAR and the new season is starting in a few days. Splitting these episodes up and taking less of each one was the only way for us to get through the last two vast wastelands of boringness that is this show.
Lol. Just kidding. We literally had to do this because we've now put off recapping the end of the season for A FULL YEAR and the new season is starting in a few days. Splitting these episodes up and taking less of each one was the only way for us to get through the last two vast wastelands of boringness that is this show.
And so we enter the weird sort-of season. I honestly can't remember the entire story behind why there was this series of specials instead of a whole season, but I think it had something to do with David Tennant being cast as Hamlet in the Royal Shakespeare Company's production and it being far more successful than they'd planned??? Or something?
Whatever the reason, in 2009, there was no actual season.
Whatever the reason, in 2009, there was no actual season.
Our singing recapper (the fabulous Jonathan Coulton) gets a small cameo in this week’s “previously on” bit. But then he gets infected by space bugs, and his head explodes, so I guess the exposure won’t exactly boost his career now.
We begin with Rochelle and Laurel staring at the mysterious SRB-54 door that the guy who attacked Rochelle went through after they released him in the last episode. Laurel prepares a fake package and tries to scope out the room when she delivers it. She spots Dr. Samira, the guy who testified that Syria was behind the exploding heads (even though they weren’t), but then the rude guy who opened the door (Jacob Pitts, Justified) slams it in her face.
We begin with Rochelle and Laurel staring at the mysterious SRB-54 door that the guy who attacked Rochelle went through after they released him in the last episode. Laurel prepares a fake package and tries to scope out the room when she delivers it. She spots Dr. Samira, the guy who testified that Syria was behind the exploding heads (even though they weren’t), but then the rude guy who opened the door (Jacob Pitts, Justified) slams it in her face.
Hokay. So this episode starts out at the bombing site, still the night of. The head FBI guy, Atwood, tells Maggie Q to look into all the usual suspects and to heighten security. I'm taking a moment to tell you that the playback on the ABC website is shitty, and makes rewatching this episode difficult. Get it together, ABC.
Marines: They also play like 27 years worth of commercials. Get it together, THIS IS THE INTERNET.
Marines: They also play like 27 years worth of commercials. Get it together, THIS IS THE INTERNET.
Yaaaaaaaaay it's the Supergirl/The Flash crossover episode!!!!!! I watch The Flash, over on Supergirl's new home, The CW. I enjoy it A LOT more than Supergirl. It's my favorite currently airing tv show, even if the season 2 finale DID enrage me. ANYWAY I'M EXCITED.
Catherine: Good that you're keeping your expectations in check here, Sammy.
Samantha: Shoot for the moon!!!!! Or maybe Saturn!!!
Catherine: Good that you're keeping your expectations in check here, Sammy.
Samantha: Shoot for the moon!!!!! Or maybe Saturn!!!
We ended last episode thinking a lot of people might die: Sarah Jane was facing Daleks, the Torchwood team was facing Daleks and the Doctor started to regenerate. After a DOO WEE OOH (K: Officially the most epic cast list of EVER), we join the Doctor as he shoots his regeneration ejaculation into the canister with his hand in it. Rose, Jack and Donna look at the Doctor like WTF.
Sarah Jane is saved by the sudden appearance of Mickey Smith (!!) and Jackie Tyler (!!), who are both carrying big guns and make quick work of the Dalek.
Sarah Jane is saved by the sudden appearance of Mickey Smith (!!) and Jackie Tyler (!!), who are both carrying big guns and make quick work of the Dalek.
Okay! Here we go! Let's see if anything happens this chapter!
Tessa totally can't focus on anything as they drive to campus, not even her nice-soon-to-be-dumped-probably boyfriend. (M: Or his perfectly lined lips.) They arrive within a paragraph and apparently she never visited the campus before, which struck me as odd. Two hours isn't that bad of a drive, surely they could have done a visit?
Tessa totally can't focus on anything as they drive to campus, not even her nice-soon-to-be-dumped-probably boyfriend. (M: Or his perfectly lined lips.) They arrive within a paragraph and apparently she never visited the campus before, which struck me as odd. Two hours isn't that bad of a drive, surely they could have done a visit?
Hello friends! Funny story, I first wrote (most of) this recap in February of 2015. Here, I'll quote you the original opening for posterity's sake:
It was always our intention to pick up another book to snark in 2015, but I've got to admit that having so many of you hanging around the Fifty Shades reviews recently made me really miss that project. I mean, not any of the actual words written in the book... except for maybe "floor the pedal to the medal" and "my mother was a crack whore, Anastasia. Now go to sleep."
It was always our intention to pick up another book to snark in 2015, but I've got to admit that having so many of you hanging around the Fifty Shades reviews recently made me really miss that project. I mean, not any of the actual words written in the book... except for maybe "floor the pedal to the medal" and "my mother was a crack whore, Anastasia. Now go to sleep."
Kara is wearing flannel over her Supergirl costume and eating a donut on the couch so that her brooding is super telegraphed. She's watching coverage of a bank robbery she tried to stop, but people are still pretty wary of her after she murdered alcohol bottles with peanuts, or whatever. (S: And wore extra cute clothes!) (C: Boo the lady with the fashion sense.)
At Cat Co, Cat is having a bad day because "Sandy Bullock" stole her exercise machine and also because National City is being slow to forgive Supergirl and the crime rate is up.
At Cat Co, Cat is having a bad day because "Sandy Bullock" stole her exercise machine and also because National City is being slow to forgive Supergirl and the crime rate is up.
Once again, it appears that our dear sweet Steph has zero understanding of what an epilogue is. Because once again, this thing is like a million pages long. Except that as a special treat, Bella's not the narrator for the epilogue. No, friends. Instead of little Bell-bell, we're hanging out in Jacob's head.
Fabulous.
Catherine: Of course. Just what we all wanted after this book.
Fabulous.
Catherine: Of course. Just what we all wanted after this book.
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