Piper is waiting in a salon, watching two women under hair dryers flip through bridal magazines. She looks down at the table where there is a pile of magazines there too. She picks one up, frustratedly puts it down, and decides to walk out on her hair appointment? Like, did she change her mind about her dirty hair? Was she just sitting there to spy on women reading bridal magazines? I don't really know.
Piper gets into a elevator and two women walk in and excitedly show off their engagement rings.
The TARDIS lands, and the Doctor rushes out in a panic into suburban London, Donna behind him. He's surprised to see that everything's perfectly normal. Donna's too busy being all, "so that was Rose Tyler, huh?" (M: Kinda fair given all the Doctor's moping over her...) The Doctor says that if Rose is back, it means the walls between parallel universes are breaking down, and they'll take all the dimensions down with them. He rushes back into the TARDIS. Across the street from the TARDIS, a milk van starts to shake, and the tiles fall off a house roof. The milkman stares up at the sky in shock.
Hey guys! So, according to my Kindle, chapter 15 contains the 50% mark of Eclipse. If you don't think making it halfway through this book is an achievement, you've never read Eclipse.
As we approached this milestone, I had the idea to whip out an old standby from our Fifty Shades days: the midway point video. It was kind of an impulse thing, so Kirsti and I were the only ones who got to film. Either that or Annie and Catherine only pretended to be "really busy" and are actually crying tears of happiness over the opportunity to skip a chapter. I see y'all.
As we approached this milestone, I had the idea to whip out an old standby from our Fifty Shades days: the midway point video. It was kind of an impulse thing, so Kirsti and I were the only ones who got to film. Either that or Annie and Catherine only pretended to be "really busy" and are actually crying tears of happiness over the opportunity to skip a chapter. I see y'all.
We open this episode in the Phantom Zone, 13 years ago. Child Kara is sleeping in her pod when it starts to shake and jerk around. Child Kara makes some interesting acting choices and it passes through a space arch metal thing. I think it's supposed to be ominous. Also, Kara was asleep for the entirety of her stay in the pod right? Since it was years?
Catherine: I guess not? She was supposed to be in stasis. I guess it's like that thing where you wake up but realize you still have a couple more hours to sleep and roll over in your spaceship.
Catherine: I guess not? She was supposed to be in stasis. I guess it's like that thing where you wake up but realize you still have a couple more hours to sleep and roll over in your spaceship.
It's Wednesday afternoon. I know that, because Bella tells us so. Alice is planning on throwing the graduation party anyway, because the invitations have already been sent. They argue a bit about whether or not it's appropriate to have a party with the impending doom hanging over them. Alice tells Bella that she will only graduate from high school for the first time once, so that's cause to celebrate and do it right.
Kirsti: It causes me pain to say this, but I'm actually siding with Bella on this one.
Catherine: I mean, right? 'For the first time once' isn't even a good incentive?
Kirsti: It causes me pain to say this, but I'm actually siding with Bella on this one.
Catherine: I mean, right? 'For the first time once' isn't even a good incentive?
Alright, guys. I feel like we're in the home stretch here and I'm going to try and crank out these last 9 recaps as quickly as possible because it's time. It's time to finish The OC and say goodbye.
So, here we go.
Ryan is in the kitchen enjoying his morning coffee, when Kirsten comes in and tries to casually ask if he's going to invite anyone to Christmas Eve dinner. Ryan isn't sure because if he invites Taylor, that seems pretty serious. Kirsten lightly laughs at him and says they make their own rules at Christmukkah.
So, here we go.
Ryan is in the kitchen enjoying his morning coffee, when Kirsten comes in and tries to casually ask if he's going to invite anyone to Christmas Eve dinner. Ryan isn't sure because if he invites Taylor, that seems pretty serious. Kirsten lightly laughs at him and says they make their own rules at Christmukkah.
We've been super inconsistent here and when that happens you can just blame it on me. This month in the ongoing saga of why my life is kind of chaotic, I started a brand new job after being out of the country for a couple of weeks. Also, though, reading this book is hard.
Kirsti: SO FREAKING HARD OH MY GOD.
Annie: I'm on week 3 of my 7 week vacation and I'm still finding it hard to read this book, so.
Kirsti: SO FREAKING HARD OH MY GOD.
Annie: I'm on week 3 of my 7 week vacation and I'm still finding it hard to read this book, so.
Future, at an unidentified Asian locale. (K: Hooray! Not!White places are always exciting to me.) Donna and the Doctor are walking through a market and generally being so damn happy and adorable that it hurts me. We know that the Doctor has all of these adventures with his companions and we, as the audience, seem to stop in on them when things go wrong. They reference, though, and there is this sense that there are other, generally "normal" adventures. I know everything is about to go to shit in one moment, but this brief moment of pure travel adventure gave me feelings.
The next day, Alice informs Bella that they're throwing a graduation party, and also she's only telling Bella this because she had a vision that Bella would freak the fuck out if it was a surprise. (M: HOW THE HELL is she having a vision about that if it is in no way a decision Bella is making...?) (K: Contrivance.) Bella grumbles about it, and then wants to know why they couldn't have waited to tell her until closer to graduation. Alice is all "Uh. Graduation is a week away, girl..."
Marines: Time kind of speeds up on me all the time. I get it. But more in a, "I can't believe it's June!" kind of way and not this crazy reaction Bella's having because apparently she missed the June memo entirely.
Marines: Time kind of speeds up on me all the time. I get it. But more in a, "I can't believe it's June!" kind of way and not this crazy reaction Bella's having because apparently she missed the June memo entirely.
So after Bella was handed off for partial custody from vampire to werewolf last chapter, she starts this chapter at a bonfire with all of the werewolves.
They're eating hotdogs and talking.
Kirsti: More accurately, they're eating hot dogs that were cooked on wire hangers. I'm still not sure why that level of detail was necessary.
They're eating hotdogs and talking.
Kirsti: More accurately, they're eating hot dogs that were cooked on wire hangers. I'm still not sure why that level of detail was necessary.
I'm trying very hard to ignore the fact that the name of this chapter is "Scent."
The chapter opens with Bella wondering why they're all so immature. Me, too, Bell-Bells.
Edward tells Bella that he doesn't feel any personal antagonism towards Jacob.
LOLOLOL. Okay. Sure.
Catherine: LOL. Yeah right, Edward. It's all just professional anger and not at all about the girl you're fighting over.
Kirsti: "I wish he'd die in a fire, but it's nothing personal!"
The chapter opens with Bella wondering why they're all so immature. Me, too, Bell-Bells.
Edward tells Bella that he doesn't feel any personal antagonism towards Jacob.
LOLOLOL. Okay. Sure.
Catherine: LOL. Yeah right, Edward. It's all just professional anger and not at all about the girl you're fighting over.
Kirsti: "I wish he'd die in a fire, but it's nothing personal!"
Alice drops Bella off at her house the next day, since they are still pretending that they were having a sleep over to hide the fact that Bella's half kidnapped, half not getting any. When Bella gets inside, Charlie right away lets her know that she's got a message. Jacob called to say he was sorry and Charlie adds to give him a break because he sounded upset. He doesn't add, "anything is better than Edward," but it's implied.
Bella and Jacob end up on the beach again, and he asks if she thinks the Cullens will come get her. She says they won't, but that they'll be hella pissed when she goes back. He suggests not going back, and her only response is that Charlie would love that because he's biased towards "my Quileute friends". Uh. You mean Jacob? The rest tolerate you because of him, girl.
Annie: Actually, Charlie is biased towards anyone who isn't the controlling, abusive, blood-thirsty boyfriend, but you tell yourself whatever makes you happier to stay in that relationship, Bells.
Annie: Actually, Charlie is biased towards anyone who isn't the controlling, abusive, blood-thirsty boyfriend, but you tell yourself whatever makes you happier to stay in that relationship, Bells.
It's Thanksgiving Day and Aria, Hanna and Emily are sadly standing outside of a house. There are police cars everywhere and some police tape is blocking off the entrance to the house. Ezra is there too, but I try to ignore him as much as possible.
Jessica: A good piece of advice for all of us.
Jessica: A good piece of advice for all of us.
I can't believe I got this chapter. I'm actually a little freaked out because I remember it being pretty upsetting and not very funny or easy to make fun of. In fact, I feel compelled to issue a trigger warning here for sexual assault and rape, on the grounds that it's almost definitely gonna get discussed. Because it's sort of what this chapter is about. But it's only in a flashback if that makes you guys feel any better?
Annie: Yeah, I'd completely blocked this part out of my memory, probably on account of it being trigging. Thanks, Stephenie.
Catherine: THANKS, STEPHENIE.
Annie: Yeah, I'd completely blocked this part out of my memory, probably on account of it being trigging. Thanks, Stephenie.
Catherine: THANKS, STEPHENIE.
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