I should confess right now that I haven’t been keeping up with the OC recaps at all, so I have absolutely no idea what’s happening on the show at the moment. I thought I had watched all of Season 3 when it first aired, but there were people in the previouslies that I didn’t recognise at all, so I’m going to have to just wing it.
From the title I know that this is a Chrismukkah episode, but we open with a bunch of shots of a very sunny OC which just seems wrong to me, typing this just after Christmas while wrapped in a blanket watching the snow fall outside.
We open two days before Halloween with people setting up their front gardens and shit. IDEK, you guys. Australia doesn't do Halloween. It's kind of hard when it's spring and everything's green and leafy, and it doesn't get dark until 8pm...
Marines: You guys are missing the point then, which is mainly: CANDY.
K: Yeah, but like, just go to the supermarket and buy it yourself. Then you don't have to talk to people. Or dress up.
Marines: You guys are missing the point then, which is mainly: CANDY.
K: Yeah, but like, just go to the supermarket and buy it yourself. Then you don't have to talk to people. Or dress up.
The last actual book recap we posted went up in October of 2013. WHAT EVEN. I mean, sure, there were lots of series wrap-up posts, a trailer to dissect and a movie to die through, but still. It seems like only yesterday we were holding each other in the comments.
I sent out an email to the rest of the Snark Ladies asking if any of them loved me enough/hated their lives enough to recap along with me. Some of them will be popping in and out for one off things, but two brave souls volunteered as tributes: Alex and Jessica. Say hello ladies!
I sent out an email to the rest of the Snark Ladies asking if any of them loved me enough/hated their lives enough to recap along with me. Some of them will be popping in and out for one off things, but two brave souls volunteered as tributes: Alex and Jessica. Say hello ladies!
So this is the 100th episode of this show. Let's do a quick round-up of what we know after approximately a century's worth of episodes.
Question 1: Is Alison alive?
Answer: Yes!
Question 2: Who is A?
Answer: No freaking clue.
Ok good, you're all caught up. On to the episode! (M: This is my favorite thing that's ever happened.)
Question 1: Is Alison alive?
Answer: Yes!
Question 2: Who is A?
Answer: No freaking clue.
Ok good, you're all caught up. On to the episode! (M: This is my favorite thing that's ever happened.)
Do you see us being all timely with these topics? Check out last week's Segue Magic, in which we discussed or favorite (and a few least favorite) fictional fathers:
We open on Dean running for his life, totally terrified. Large sounding dogs bark from behind him. He rounds a corner and collides with a homeless man. He gets up and screams at the homeless man to run for his life because "it'll kill you!". The man looks down to see a tiny Yorkie with a pink bow sitting there staring at Dean.
Dean's eyes grow wide in panic, and he starts running again. The Yorkie skitters off after him with a yap.
CREEPY BIRDS.
After the Not Credits, we're in Rock Ridge, Colorado two days earlier as the Bromobile pulls into town.
Dean's eyes grow wide in panic, and he starts running again. The Yorkie skitters off after him with a yap.
CREEPY BIRDS.
After the Not Credits, we're in Rock Ridge, Colorado two days earlier as the Bromobile pulls into town.
The last scene of the previouslies is the massacre from last episode, so I hope everyone is ready for happy fun times. The credits take us to King's Landing, Bolton-Winterfell, The Wall, Braavos, Meereen and Dorne.
Post-credits, we see Grey Worm on a sick bed as Missandei watches over him and cries. Out near her throne in the Pyramid of Power, Danaerys and Daario stand over Barristan Selmy's slain body. I had a feeling one would die and one would survive. And then the reasonable part of my brain went, "both of them will die; this is Game of Thrones." (S: That was my reaction so Grey Worm being alive was a pleasant surprise? This show.)
Post-credits, we see Grey Worm on a sick bed as Missandei watches over him and cries. Out near her throne in the Pyramid of Power, Danaerys and Daario stand over Barristan Selmy's slain body. I had a feeling one would die and one would survive. And then the reasonable part of my brain went, "both of them will die; this is Game of Thrones." (S: That was my reaction so Grey Worm being alive was a pleasant surprise? This show.)
Ryan is driving Johnny home from the hospital with Marissa and Seth along for the ride. Apparently this kid's mom was like, "I'd like to see you discharged from the hospital but I gotta work." Sweet.
There is a bit of an awkward moment about Johnny's "poor people house" but it's cool because Ryan comes from poorer and Marissa is poor now too. Poor can happen to anyone. (D: #snarksquadmottos) Johnny struggles a bit on his crutches while trying to climb the steps to his house. Marissa has free period at school so Ryan tells her to stay with Johnny and help him get settled. Seth starts to say something but Ryan cuts him off before he can. Johnny doesn't have anyone and he trusts Marissa not to be a cheatery cheater. I'm sure this will end well.
There is a bit of an awkward moment about Johnny's "poor people house" but it's cool because Ryan comes from poorer and Marissa is poor now too. Poor can happen to anyone. (D: #snarksquadmottos) Johnny struggles a bit on his crutches while trying to climb the steps to his house. Marissa has free period at school so Ryan tells her to stay with Johnny and help him get settled. Seth starts to say something but Ryan cuts him off before he can. Johnny doesn't have anyone and he trusts Marissa not to be a cheatery cheater. I'm sure this will end well.
Halliwell Manor. The P's have somehow scraped up enough friends to throw a party even though they only ever hang out with each other. Prue congratulates Piper on her successful shindig, but Piper's too busy fretting over the fact that her dull boyfriends are chatting with each other.
Marines: Piper is on screen for two seconds before she's talking about Dan and Leo. Make it stop.
Steph: It's going to go on until the end of the season isn't it?
Phoebe appears on the stairwell irritated by the noise because she's studying phobias for her exam. She's wearing a kimono with chopsticks in her hair. You know, regular pajama-type clothes.
Marines: Piper is on screen for two seconds before she's talking about Dan and Leo. Make it stop.
Steph: It's going to go on until the end of the season isn't it?
Phoebe appears on the stairwell irritated by the noise because she's studying phobias for her exam. She's wearing a kimono with chopsticks in her hair. You know, regular pajama-type clothes.
We start right about where we left off last time. Dyad's Dr. Nealon comes down to the cell where the Mustache Castor Clone freed the Scarface Castor Clone in the previous episode. His face doesn't really register the “oh shit!” reaction this scene requires as he makes a phone call to report the escape.
Hotel room somewhere. Scarface Castor Clone (ok he's sticking around for now so I'll use his real name– Rudy) (M: Really? Huh.) enters the room with a stumbling, giggling girl. Ominous music sneaks in the background as they move toward sexytimes. She turns away for him to take off her coat, and we get a blurry image of Mustache Castor Clone (Seth) in the background taking the coat and answering her question and it's super creepy. But
Hotel room somewhere. Scarface Castor Clone (ok he's sticking around for now so I'll use his real name– Rudy) (M: Really? Huh.) enters the room with a stumbling, giggling girl. Ominous music sneaks in the background as they move toward sexytimes. She turns away for him to take off her coat, and we get a blurry image of Mustache Castor Clone (Seth) in the background taking the coat and answering her question and it's super creepy. But
This topic was super timely because I don't know if I mentioned it a million times, but I was really sick recently. Whether you get sick often or not, most of us probably have that media we turn to when we're feeling down. Last week on Segue Magic, we talked about these things that make us feel better:
London, 1599. A guy with a terrible hair cut plays the lute and sings to a woman leaning out of her window. It's all very Romeo and Juliet. She looks incredibly familiar, and that's because she's Blanche Ingram from the BBC's 2006 version of Jane Eyre! (M: AHHH!) She also played Caroline Bingley in Lost in Austen. (M: Less exciting.) She informs him that after his amazing singing she's totally DTF and he rushes upstairs.
When he gets to her room, he's weirded out to see that it's full of creepy magical looking stuff. She kisses him, and turns into a crone with pointy teeth. He freaks. She gestures and two other crone-faced witches rush forward. They cackle as they surround him, and tear him to shreds.
When he gets to her room, he's weirded out to see that it's full of creepy magical looking stuff. She kisses him, and turns into a crone with pointy teeth. He freaks. She gestures and two other crone-faced witches rush forward. They cackle as they surround him, and tear him to shreds.
The previouslies take us all the way back to Season 1, with King Robert asking Ned why he had to bury his sister/Robert's betrothed Lyanna in Winterfell and placing a feather in Lyanna's statue's hands. We see Littlefinger telling Sansa about her worst marriage prospect yet (M: We remember this part, show.) (S: But would it really be Game of Thrones without a little twisting of the knife?), the Margaery vs. Cersei battle for Tommen's affections, Loras being gay and beautiful (M: We remember this part for sure.), Cersei teaming up with the High Sparrow, Ellaria Sand trying to convince the Dornish Prince Doran to avenge his brother Oberyn, the Sons of the Harpy murdering everyone in Meereen, and oh yeah, Ser Jorah kidnapped Tyrion and is taking him to "the queen." Ah, but which queen?
Rosewood High book sale. Aria looks at Hanna appraisingly, making Hanna think she hates "it." I'm like, "what?" until I remember the dye job. And it isn't until the camera changes to a side angle that I can even tell what this drastic change even is: chunks of black underneath the top layer of her blond hair. HANNA, I BARELY RECOGNIZED YOU.
Jessica: It's like the makeup department called a huddle and said "ok, how can we change the blond girl's hair while still keeping her blond?"
Jessica: It's like the makeup department called a huddle and said "ok, how can we change the blond girl's hair while still keeping her blond?"
Yes, that title is a terrible attempt at sounding like the Count from Sesame Street. First things first: this post has almost no gifs because 90% of the gifs for this episode are of one particular scene, and I'm sure when we get there you'll guess what it is.
Marines: I'll help the cause by adding this in response to the lack of gifs:
K: Bless you.
We open in black and white with an old school Warner Brothers logo. That's followed by 1940s style put-everything-at-the-start style movie credits accompanied by monster movie style music. (M: FUN WITH CREDITS, MY FAVORITE.)
Marines: I'll help the cause by adding this in response to the lack of gifs:
K: Bless you.
We open in black and white with an old school Warner Brothers logo. That's followed by 1940s style put-everything-at-the-start style movie credits accompanied by monster movie style music. (M: FUN WITH CREDITS, MY FAVORITE.)
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