We start at the Improbable Bonfire again and I'll admit that I cheered a little. I don't know what it is about that bonfire. Maybe it represents the few seconds during the beginning where I still understand 100% of what's happening. Namely: FIRE. BIG FIRE.
Democracy Diva: It always just makes me think, FIRE BAD. TREE PRETTY.
Mari: Best thing to come out of that episode.
We zoom, zoom, zoom to 12 Grimmauld Place. Sam Keating (Viola Davis's husband) is all murdered on the floor and Laurel (I think. It's hard to tell in the murder lighting) is just looking at his body.
We pick up exactly where we left off, with Rose running into the TARDIS. Only this time, the shot is from the inside. The Doctor grins and asks Rose where she wants to go first - forwards or backwards in time. She picks forwards, one hundred years. The Doctor flicks some switches and gizmos on the TARDIS console, and they vworp vworp their way to the 22nd century. But when they land, the Doctor declares 100 years to be nothing and suggests going further. Rose agrees, and he flicks some console stuff again. More vworp-ing, and they're 10,000 years in the future, at the height of the New Roman Empire. Rose smirks that the Doctor thinks he's impressive, and he decides they're going further. He mans the console again and we see the TARDIS flying through a time vortex. (L: Flying with our old, dear friends, Bad Special Effects. Man, those guys stay busy!)
Mama Fields is on the phone, presumably with the LOLPD, trying to get some answers about the car that was thrown at her house. Apparently, there was no sign of the driver, which Pam finds super hard to believe. After the phone call, Pam tells Emily to quit sulking around the motel and go to her college guidance session.
Hasting's House. Emily, Aria and Spencer are together and worrying about the Fields family. Spencer says that A likes to throw cars at people AND THAT'S WHAT WE'VE BEEN SAYING. Wait, did Sara know this was going to happen and inject that language into the recaps early? Whatever is happening here, I like it.
Hasting's House. Emily, Aria and Spencer are together and worrying about the Fields family. Spencer says that A likes to throw cars at people AND THAT'S WHAT WE'VE BEEN SAYING. Wait, did Sara know this was going to happen and inject that language into the recaps early? Whatever is happening here, I like it.
A bus pulls up in a busy Gotham street, and the Penguin steps off wearing an ugly cableknit jumper. He looks around and smiles at the general crime and police corruption currently going on all around him, happy to be home.
Lorraine: But the question remains: why the heck does anyone else call this city where all the crime happens in broad daylight home?
Alex: A news report tells us that some rich guy, currently on trial for running a Ponzi scheme, is out on bail – much to the disgust to the citizens of Gotham who were the victims of his scheming. My knowledge of what a Ponzi scheme is is possibly the only good thing to come out of Sarah Michelle Gellar’s mercifully short time on Ringer.
Lorraine: But the question remains: why the heck does anyone else call this city where all the crime happens in broad daylight home?
Alex: A news report tells us that some rich guy, currently on trial for running a Ponzi scheme, is out on bail – much to the disgust to the citizens of Gotham who were the victims of his scheming. My knowledge of what a Ponzi scheme is is possibly the only good thing to come out of Sarah Michelle Gellar’s mercifully short time on Ringer.
I feel that I cannot appropriately recap an episode of the OC without first saying that Adam Brody will forever be Dave Rygalski to me.
Sweeney: It's important to start by letting us all know where you're at. We all have our, "In My Heart This Actor Can Only Have One Role" problems around here.
GFM: Dave is just so much more likeable than S2 Seth. Okay. On with the recap.
We open with Ryan, hanging out in his pool house, reading a newspaper, you know, as teens do, with a splashy “Newport’s Man of the Year Behind Bars” headline.
Sweeney: It's important to start by letting us all know where you're at. We all have our, "In My Heart This Actor Can Only Have One Role" problems around here.
GFM: Dave is just so much more likeable than S2 Seth. Okay. On with the recap.
We open with Ryan, hanging out in his pool house, reading a newspaper, you know, as teens do, with a splashy “Newport’s Man of the Year Behind Bars” headline.
First and foremost, Kirsti is the long time fan, this is my second watch and Sweeney is the first time watcher. As always, we try to keep things as spoiler-free as we can, for the benefit of the Snow.
I started watching Doctor Who and quit after 1.5 episodes because it was boring me to tears. At some time while season 7 was still airing, Kirsti convinced me to power through season 1, with the expectation that it would get way better. And so I did (except I skipped episode 3. It's the only episode I've never seen.) and I fell in love.
Kirsti: I find it really interesting that so many people have skipped episode 3 of season 1.
I started watching Doctor Who and quit after 1.5 episodes because it was boring me to tears. At some time while season 7 was still airing, Kirsti convinced me to power through season 1, with the expectation that it would get way better. And so I did (except I skipped episode 3. It's the only episode I've never seen.) and I fell in love.
Kirsti: I find it really interesting that so many people have skipped episode 3 of season 1.
We begin with the Marses discussing the big reveal at the end of the previous episode - that Terrence Cook has a butt-load of explosives in his fancy car/helicopter hangar. Veronica half-heartedly tries to pretend Terrence just had a hobby that involved blowing shit up, but that's pretty unlikely.
Sweeney: So are the multitude of paternity mysteries in this town of plot-shifting size, though! You keep those fingers crossed for Terrence, girl. Also for Keith. Mostly for Keith.
Diva: Excellent point. I don't know why I suddenly expected "unlikeliness" to matter at all in this town.
Sweeney: So are the multitude of paternity mysteries in this town of plot-shifting size, though! You keep those fingers crossed for Terrence, girl. Also for Keith. Mostly for Keith.
Diva: Excellent point. I don't know why I suddenly expected "unlikeliness" to matter at all in this town.
We open on Marin Manor where Spencer and Emily are doing dishes and being passive aggressive. Spencer apologizes for Toby, but says he's not ready to talk yet. Emily snaps that they need to focus on Hanna right now, which is Aria's cue to enternounce that these two talking is step 1 and getting Hanna to actually eat is step 2. Spencer suggests mozzarella sticks and I have a vague recollection of Hanna's love of mozzarella sticks being a thing in another episode, because obviously moments where the girls are being cute are vastly superior to anything vaguely resembling "plot." (L: Plus, FOOD.) The girls exposit that Hanna's being shut out of lawyer meetings and when Spencer suggests the others go home and rest, they insist that they're fine to stay because the only way to get Hanna through this is together. D'AWW. The downside of their cuteness is that there is nothing to snark when they are being adorable.
Because that season premiere propelled the show from teen drama to full-on Spanish telenovella, I feel like characters should be renamed (at least for one recap) accordingly.
After the previouslies summarizing everyone's drama, we kick off with Rodrigo (Ryan) and Seth (who will be called Enriqué because no proper telenovella can do without an Enriqué, and also because I guess the Spanish of Seth would be Seth). (L: Set, actually. TMYK *shooting star*) So, Rodrigo and Enriqué are talking about whether they should go back to school, with Enriqué trying to flee (which seems to have become his thing) while Rodrigo says that they have to go.
After the previouslies summarizing everyone's drama, we kick off with Rodrigo (Ryan) and Seth (who will be called Enriqué because no proper telenovella can do without an Enriqué, and also because I guess the Spanish of Seth would be Seth). (L: Set, actually. TMYK *shooting star*) So, Rodrigo and Enriqué are talking about whether they should go back to school, with Enriqué trying to flee (which seems to have become his thing) while Rodrigo says that they have to go.
We open with more shots of Improbable Law School Bonfire. The Chosen Ones are once again fretting about the body disposal issue. This time we learn that the pretty engaged girl who wants Viola Davis's coat/life is angry because, "It's all her fault!" We don't know who "her" refers to yet, but we do know that homegirl just won herself the title star. I'm sure it'll be good for bartering in prison.
Lorraine: Don't spend it all in one day!
Democracy Diva: Or, if you do, spend it a carton of cigarettes, and then you'll have things to trade forever! #protips
Lorraine: Don't spend it all in one day!
Democracy Diva: Or, if you do, spend it a carton of cigarettes, and then you'll have things to trade forever! #protips
Detective Tanner is preparing her coffee as she says that Hanna won't tell her anything about the gun she was apparently burying on a college campus. Tanner offers Hanna some coffee, and quips that she doesn't need a lawyer to answer that question. This is Rosewood, though, so you never know. Hanna turns down the offer. Tanner switches tactics and tells Hanna what she knows: Han was carrying a concealed weapon without a license, the gun is a .38 caliber revolver that holds six bullets, but only had four. Hanna could be looking at up to a seven-year-charge for just having the gun. Tanner asks Hanna to reconsider who she is protecting.
Sweeney: In Hanna's defense, I think there is literally nobody in Rosewood who actually remembers why they're doing anything at this point.
Sweeney: In Hanna's defense, I think there is literally nobody in Rosewood who actually remembers why they're doing anything at this point.
Corny is delivering pizza and we see him dance about and be entirely way too happy about a pizza he isn't going to eat. As he walks toward a house, someone walks up behind him and tasers him. He blacks out.
Neptune High. Veronica gets out of her car and Dick parks next to her. When he opens his door, he hits her car and cares not a jot about doing so. Two jocks, one of them being Lucas Grabeel, come over to make fun of that whole Dick kissed someone with a penis thing and generally make comments so unsettling, Veronica can't even enjoy Dick getting a taste of his own medicine. She leaves.
Democracy Diva: Lucas Grabeel is a homophobe? NOOO! What about Milk, Lucas?!
Neptune High. Veronica gets out of her car and Dick parks next to her. When he opens his door, he hits her car and cares not a jot about doing so. Two jocks, one of them being Lucas Grabeel, come over to make fun of that whole Dick kissed someone with a penis thing and generally make comments so unsettling, Veronica can't even enjoy Dick getting a taste of his own medicine. She leaves.
Democracy Diva: Lucas Grabeel is a homophobe? NOOO! What about Milk, Lucas?!
We open on…lots of shirtless construction workers. Unfortunately, the camera’s not on them nearly long enough. The only two people with shirts are Sandy and I guess the head construction dude, and it’s not until they start talking that I realize the construction is in the Cohen home. Their house is torn apart, literally and figuratively, which Sandy actually says out loud. As always, very subtle with the symbolism, writers. They talk about the endless construction and we learn that it’s now September. Just before the construction workers knock down a wall that almost hits them, Sandy complains about all the shirtless guys (killjoy!) saying that the neighbors have started to call their house The Manhole. Hee. Kirsten comes downstairs wearing this adorable little black dress and greets “Archie,” the head construction dude.
Baby Batman is continuing his slightly suicidal exploration of his fears by burning his hand on a candle. Alfred walks in and startles BB, who hides his burnt hand. Alfred demands to see his hand and then freaks out at the sight, calling BB stupid and shaking him into a hug. There is no other way to describe that. I'm not sure I understand what this show is doing with Alfred. (A: Me neither).
Selina Kyle sits with some of her homeless friends playing with a necklace kind of like how a cat would play with yarn. (wink.)
A van comes down the alley and puts Selina on her guard. Two overly peppy people in outfits I cannot explain jump out of the van and claim to be from the mayor's outreach program.
Selina Kyle sits with some of her homeless friends playing with a necklace kind of like how a cat would play with yarn. (wink.)
A van comes down the alley and puts Selina on her guard. Two overly peppy people in outfits I cannot explain jump out of the van and claim to be from the mayor's outreach program.
Announcement: Despite my recent Twitter crusade to support her and get her some respectable trashy drama work, I've been spelling Shannen Doherty's name wrong this whole time. (Shannon vs. Shannen). I apologize to Ms. Doherty. Also, in prepartion for my public apology, I checked out her Twitter. She's currently working to save the dolphins, so probably she's plenty busy and doesn't need my Twitter support. Never gonna stop, though.
"Pop's Gym." Two men are boxing. Another man, with a very professional mullet, walks in and observes. Aggressive Boxing Man [ABM] knocks the crap out of Ow, My Face Hurts Man. Next, cut to Aggressive Boxing Man packing his bags. Professional Mullet finds him and says he's a fan of his bloody boxing work.
"Pop's Gym." Two men are boxing. Another man, with a very professional mullet, walks in and observes. Aggressive Boxing Man [ABM] knocks the crap out of Ow, My Face Hurts Man. Next, cut to Aggressive Boxing Man packing his bags. Professional Mullet finds him and says he's a fan of his bloody boxing work.
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