Veronica Voice-Over starts things off, explaining how a week ago, Veronica thought things would turn out differently. She imagined Keith winning the sheriff election in a landslide, and she and Wallace would sneak champagne and prank-call Deputy Lamb. Instead, the election is unbelievably close, and Wallace is off with his dad somewhere. Meanwhile, Veronica is tense at Mars for Sheriff Election Results Party Extravaganza, while Cliff the lawyer gets drunk.
Sweeney: I usually adore Cliff's sass, but his, "GIMME A DRINK, GIRL," sass wasn't some of his finer work. Fortunately this is just his teaser material and he has the rest of the episode to redeem himself.
Who wants to feel old and realize that if you only watched The OC when it aired, it's been more than 10 years since you've seen this episode? No one, ok, then let's ignore that I mentioned that at all. It helps that Adam Brody looks pretty much exactly the same as he did as Seth Cohen. If time stopped for him, it must've for all of us, right? Totally.
At school, Seth grills Ryan on what's happening with Marissa, because it totally makes sense that he does that with people around and not before they left the house or while they drove to school or anything like that! Ryan says he Marissa are going to go back to being friends. Smarty-pants-Cohen comes through again with the pointing out of their lack of friendship.
At school, Seth grills Ryan on what's happening with Marissa, because it totally makes sense that he does that with people around and not before they left the house or while they drove to school or anything like that! Ryan says he Marissa are going to go back to being friends. Smarty-pants-Cohen comes through again with the pointing out of their lack of friendship.
Wallace heads inside, not too long after Stalker Cop approached him with the whole, "I am your father," deal. Wallace is clearly distraught. Alicia is happily serving dinner and her first clue that something is wrong is that Wallace says he isn't hungry. He just met a man in the driveway. A man from Chicago. He angrily asks who they buried in Cleveland and who he cried over for so many days. Alicia says that was his father but Wallace doesn't get how having two fathers works out. Wallace storms away but Alicia follows.
In the living room, she explains: she married Nathan Woods (Stalker Cop) when she was 21 years old. He started off as a narcotics detective but he went so deep undercover that things got bad.
In the living room, she explains: she married Nathan Woods (Stalker Cop) when she was 21 years old. He started off as a narcotics detective but he went so deep undercover that things got bad.
It’s morning at the Cohen house. Sandy is fetching himself some juice when he gets shot in the face with a foam dart. The shooter is Kirsten, and shooting him in the face was her way of wishing him a happy Valentine’s Day. Sandy is unimpressed, not only because he just took a dart to the face before he’d even got his breakfast, but also because Valentine’s day isn’t actually until tomorrow.
Sweeney: That before breakfast is serious. Don't fucking talk to me, let alone SHOOT DARTS AT MY FACE before I've had breakfast.
Lorraine: I've never seen Kirsten this excited. Maybe about wine that one time she was drunk, but that was less excited and more, well, drunk.
Sweeney: That before breakfast is serious. Don't fucking talk to me, let alone SHOOT DARTS AT MY FACE before I've had breakfast.
Lorraine: I've never seen Kirsten this excited. Maybe about wine that one time she was drunk, but that was less excited and more, well, drunk.
August was a crazy month (we tend to only have crazy months). After writing our TYMK post from Paris (!!!) we continued to drink lots of wine and have lots of fun for another 10 days. Then, sadly, we had to make our way back home and can we just say that neither of us are big fans? Leaving Paris, Sweeney and Harley was the saddest and I can honestly say that I've spent the last three weeks very frequently wishing it was vacation time again. Vacation all the days, all the time, always.
Sweeney: HOW ARE WE ALREADY SO FAR FROM VACATION? On the plus side, I can watch all the videos of us and, you know, cry into some chocolate or something.
Sweeney: HOW ARE WE ALREADY SO FAR FROM VACATION? On the plus side, I can watch all the videos of us and, you know, cry into some chocolate or something.
Some dude breaks into a house very easily and tries to tell his twitchy friend, Clay, that they have nothing to worry about; the owner of the house is dead. B&Es Are Easy says he's off to grab the urn. There is a third man present. He follows after B&Es Are Easy and asks if Clay is in the know. B&Es Are Easy says it's better not to spook Clay, who would totally believe that some curse killed the house owner.
Third Man is all, "IDK. Dead House Owner was stung by a scorpion. On an airplane." B&Es Are Easy asks if Third Man is buying into the curse thing too and despite what he just said about scorpions on airplanes, Third Man is like, "nope."
Third Man is all, "IDK. Dead House Owner was stung by a scorpion. On an airplane." B&Es Are Easy asks if Third Man is buying into the curse thing too and despite what he just said about scorpions on airplanes, Third Man is like, "nope."
This episode begins shortly after the last, with Emily arriving to hear Spencer's big secret. Hanna's not answering her calls, so Spencer has to confess without her: Toby is A.
Marin Manor. Ashley and Hanna return and Ashley wants to call the hospital and the cops, which would have been good ideas a while ago, before she went to get her child to help her with her crime. Hanna explains that now that she's left the scene of an accident and all, she should just not call the cops. Ashley continues to let her child be the grown up and agrees, but only so long as Hanna promises not to tell her friends about this.
Marin Manor. Ashley and Hanna return and Ashley wants to call the hospital and the cops, which would have been good ideas a while ago, before she went to get her child to help her with her crime. Hanna explains that now that she's left the scene of an accident and all, she should just not call the cops. Ashley continues to let her child be the grown up and agrees, but only so long as Hanna promises not to tell her friends about this.
Veronica, looking a lot more shaken than normal, is at Mars Investigations (doubling as Mars for Sheriff HQ!) calling the hospital to find out Meg's visiting hours. As she hangs up, an Elle Woods wannabe (D: It's funny because it's literally Laura Bell Bundy from the Legally Blonde musical) (S: AMAZING.) struts into the office in desperate need of a detective to investigate her boyfriend and possible fiance because she found a ring while doing her own snooping. Keith isn't there, but Veronica goes ahead and sells her on hardcore investigative packages. (L: Future Business Leader of America shots!) Keith arrives as she's leaving and is pleasant, but reminds Veronica that she's no longer his employee.
I just want to start this with their “Previously on The OC” intro simply for… FANTASTIC curtain hair, oh god early 2000’s everywhere. You’d have thought they would have gotten over this by now but NOPE, not in the OC. Also I have come into this having not seen a single episode since the first run just so I can be vague about everything I see in the next 40 minutes... and now on to the show!
Ryan is sitting in his super large pool house, you know the one that is roughly the size of my whole house, reading a book. It could be manga, it could be some sort of school book, I’m not sure; let's just assume it's not important to the plot of this episode and move on.
Ryan is sitting in his super large pool house, you know the one that is roughly the size of my whole house, reading a book. It could be manga, it could be some sort of school book, I’m not sure; let's just assume it's not important to the plot of this episode and move on.
Rosewood's One Coffee Shop, after-hours because there is no one around. It's the same day as the last episode so the beginning exposition ("Any word from Jason while we've been together this entire time?") is especially clunky. Emily has not heard anything from Jason. Hanna wonders if now that the whole National Adolescent Terrorization Club is out of Rosewood, A will retire. Spencer gives the appropriately jaded, "YEAH RIGHT." response.
Emily redirects the conversation over to Cece lying to them about knowing Wilden. The girls wonder if maybe she's Red Coat. Spencer is distracted by an incoming text message. Aria asks her what she thinks and she's all, "maybe Cece is Red Coat!" Aria tells her to pay attention.
Emily redirects the conversation over to Cece lying to them about knowing Wilden. The girls wonder if maybe she's Red Coat. Spencer is distracted by an incoming text message. Aria asks her what she thinks and she's all, "maybe Cece is Red Coat!" Aria tells her to pay attention.
We begin with a Veronica Voice-Over about the magic of senior year. Tis the season of college applications, so Veronica needs to pad her resume with a non-crime-solving-related activity. I'm not sure why - the crime-solving thing would probably look way more attractive to an admissions officer than the stupid FBLA. But that doesn't get us anywhere, plot-wise, so welcome to the Future Business Leaders of America, Veronica Mars!
Lorraine: I mean, the crime-solving thing did get us plenty of places plot-wise, but we need to get a little creative these days. New reasons to solve crime everyone: extra-curricular activities.
Lorraine: I mean, the crime-solving thing did get us plenty of places plot-wise, but we need to get a little creative these days. New reasons to solve crime everyone: extra-curricular activities.
Open to Seth and Ryan walking across campus. Ryan is going on about his mistrust of Oliver. This is totally valid because with my limited knowledge it seems to me that Oliver is bat-shit crazy. (I should probably mention that I missed this show entirely so I'm almost completely a Snow). Seth is trying to be comforting but is also being Seth, whose fall back position is sarcastic and nerdy. I have to say so far my favorite thing about this show is the relationship between Ryan and Seth. They offset each other well and it does my heart good to see them fall into this friendship.
So Ryan is still going on about Oliver and says he and Marissa are fighting a lot about him. Seth states Ryan is jealous because Oliver is a rich kid with many exotic locations to whisk women off to. He also uses the phrase "Dapper Don" (really, Seth?) and all I can think of is this even though I have never watched Mad Men:
Prue and Phoebe arrive from a shopping excursion and Piper comes from inside the house, shirt open, giggling, led by an also partially undressed Leo. Freaked out by the appearance of her sisters, she freezes time, trips over Leo and slides all the way toward EMBARRASSING.
Piper is only momentarily distracted by all of the shopping bags and asks Prue if maybe she's just depression shopping. No matter how many times I regret retail therapy, I will never speak ill of it. It hurts so good. Piper pushes her sisters out of Leo's sight. She runs back, puts her hand in his, and when time unfreezes, continues her run upstairs with him.
Piper is only momentarily distracted by all of the shopping bags and asks Prue if maybe she's just depression shopping. No matter how many times I regret retail therapy, I will never speak ill of it. It hurts so good. Piper pushes her sisters out of Leo's sight. She runs back, puts her hand in his, and when time unfreezes, continues her run upstairs with him.
At Rosewood High School for Nervous Breakdowns, Emily, Aria, and Hanna are freaking out because Spencer Hastings is no longer showing up for school. Hanna's less concerned, though, because she figures that Spencer's just hurting and lashing out and needs to work through her pain.
Emily resolves to comfort her and share the I Dreamed A Dream of Girls in Red Coats news, because this plot is now being openly fueled by stress dreams. Hanna supports this by saying she maybe also imagined a Blonde in Red Coat at her fake job interview.
Emily resolves to comfort her and share the I Dreamed A Dream of Girls in Red Coats news, because this plot is now being openly fueled by stress dreams. Hanna supports this by saying she maybe also imagined a Blonde in Red Coat at her fake job interview.
Lorraine: Veronica is looking very intensely at a display of dessert. Veronica Voice Over asks us, "if a school bus traveling 40 miles per hour drives off a cliff and plunges 90 feet into the jagged coastline, how many seconds do the six high-school students, their teacher and bus driver have to contemplate the fact that they're about to die?" No wonder V's serving some pie and she can't even look happy about pie. Those are some morbid thoughts.
Sweeney: This is the brain space of Veronica Mars we're talking about here.
Sweeney: This is the brain space of Veronica Mars we're talking about here.
Plugin by Social Author Bio