Veronica has just returned from the end of the events of the last episode, and realizes that the only way Clarence Wiedman found her mom the same day she did - after nearly a year of searching - is if he had been spying on her. She tears her room apart and realizes that she kept a little panda pencil sharpener from The Wildlife Alliance in exchange for a donation she never made. I'd keep it too, Veronica, because pandas are adorable. (L: And if it's free, it's me.) (D: +1) Sure enough, she opens it up (by which I mean SHE BEHEADS IT! THE HORROR) and finds a bug. (D: Not an insect, because ew. Like a recording-device bug.) Thanks to this not-an-insect bug, Wiedman heard her book a flight to Barstow.
More finale flaily fun times! Let's celebrate with more gifs from She:
Anyway, that being said, there is something strange and surreal about this. It's weird to imagine this blog without the Buffyverse and it's over this week. Or, as Lorraine put it in her Buffy "Best Of" video - "this is the end, except for the part where it's not" because we will undoubtedly continue to pick it back up here and there. It also, of course, colors everything else we do here, so there's that.
We've made no secret of the fact that we find this the weaker of the two shows. That said, I think I probably enjoyed it the most of the three of us and actually can see myself rewatching some of this. One day. In the future.
Anyway, that being said, there is something strange and surreal about this. It's weird to imagine this blog without the Buffyverse and it's over this week. Or, as Lorraine put it in her Buffy "Best Of" video - "this is the end, except for the part where it's not" because we will undoubtedly continue to pick it back up here and there. It also, of course, colors everything else we do here, so there's that.
We've made no secret of the fact that we find this the weaker of the two shows. That said, I think I probably enjoyed it the most of the three of us and actually can see myself rewatching some of this. One day. In the future.
Aria is watching a black and white film when her father comes in and PAUSES THE MOVIE. WHO ARE YOU, BYRON MONTGOMERY? What murder are we still trying to figure out? Alison's? Byron did it. He pauses other people's movies and is therefore evil.
Really, he wants to talk about the fire someone started at that charity race last episode. Aria says they talked about it enough when Shitbag Montgomery was accusing her and the Liars of setting it. As it turns out, the principal called Byron because they've identified the real culprit. Byron's all, "sorry," and Aria uses her Big Eyes to give him a death glare. She grabs the control and unpauses the movie. Byron tries to chat about the movie, saying the dude keeps a severed head in a hatbox and Aria looks at him like, "OH MY GOD, DAD. NOW YOU ARE GOING TO SPOIL THE MOVIE?"
Really, he wants to talk about the fire someone started at that charity race last episode. Aria says they talked about it enough when Shitbag Montgomery was accusing her and the Liars of setting it. As it turns out, the principal called Byron because they've identified the real culprit. Byron's all, "sorry," and Aria uses her Big Eyes to give him a death glare. She grabs the control and unpauses the movie. Byron tries to chat about the movie, saying the dude keeps a severed head in a hatbox and Aria looks at him like, "OH MY GOD, DAD. NOW YOU ARE GOING TO SPOIL THE MOVIE?"
At Alison's They Tried To Make Me Go To Rehab & I Went Facility, she and Vic the Dick are doing an arts and crafts project - place settings for Family Day. Alison explains that her friend Aynsley thought she was better than her and, as such, deserved what she got. She hesitates, but after pressing from Vic, Alison confesses to sleeping with Aynsley's husband aaaaaand kind-of-sort-of killing her.
Ali reflects on Ainsley clawing at the countertop and then takes a deep breath and tells Vic how great it feels to say it out loud. Vic's, "Well, shit," face is one I share. Also, Alison made him some gloves and if he knows what's good for him, he'll be damned excited about them.
Ali reflects on Ainsley clawing at the countertop and then takes a deep breath and tells Vic how great it feels to say it out loud. Vic's, "Well, shit," face is one I share. Also, Alison made him some gloves and if he knows what's good for him, he'll be damned excited about them.
We're done! Finally! When we left S4, everyone kept promising us that things were going to get good and I was terribly suspicious of that claim for a while. The first half of this season was not good. My feelings on this show are basically that everything from the Summer Glau ballet episode up to halfway through this season is mostly not good with the occasional fluke.
SO I'M INCREDIBLY PLEASED THAT WE'RE DONE:
(Someone mentioned the lack of "She" gifs and I agree that this was unfortunate since that episode is actually the very reason we have gif thumbnails on the blog.)
SO I'M INCREDIBLY PLEASED THAT WE'RE DONE:
(Someone mentioned the lack of "She" gifs and I agree that this was unfortunate since that episode is actually the very reason we have gif thumbnails on the blog.)
Fair warning: I think this is one of the weaker episodes of the series. What can you expect when they keep us at the Wall? THE WHOLE TIME? No amount of Jon Snow's shiny hair can salvage that.
Sweeney: I thought this would be a pretty universal opinion but I saw people on Twitter gushing about it. We've assembled a crowd that shares our love of the character-driven elements of the story so I don't think our opinion will be unpopular here, but it's weird. To that end, if you're the sort of person who digs military history and battle names and that kind of thing, then maybe this episode was your jam. For the rest of us...not so much.
Lor: We start with a sweeping view of Castle Black.
Sweeney: I thought this would be a pretty universal opinion but I saw people on Twitter gushing about it. We've assembled a crowd that shares our love of the character-driven elements of the story so I don't think our opinion will be unpopular here, but it's weird. To that end, if you're the sort of person who digs military history and battle names and that kind of thing, then maybe this episode was your jam. For the rest of us...not so much.
Lor: We start with a sweeping view of Castle Black.
I just want to tell you all the things, Internet. Don't run away! The video below does not actually contain all the things.
Here's what's not in this video, but are things you should know:
- I'm not watching TV outside of what I'm doing for Snark Squad. Not a thing.
- I talked a lot more about why I didn't like The Fault in Our Stars and my issues with John Green. And about how awful that movie experience was, but how nice the movie was. Maybe one day I will talk about that again. Also, I went to see TFioS twice, because YAY FREE TICKETS. I cried both times...
Here's what's not in this video, but are things you should know:
- I'm not watching TV outside of what I'm doing for Snark Squad. Not a thing.
- I talked a lot more about why I didn't like The Fault in Our Stars and my issues with John Green. And about how awful that movie experience was, but how nice the movie was. Maybe one day I will talk about that again. Also, I went to see TFioS twice, because YAY FREE TICKETS. I cried both times...
YOU GUYS. WE MADE IT TO THE END OF THIS RIDICULOUS SHOW. I honestly thought this day would never come. In some ways it's been a million times harder for me than Buffy because so many of the episodes were meh-tastic and Whedon kept killing off all the female characters. Still, WE MADE IT. And that warrants a dance party!
Sweeney: ALWAYS DANCE PARTIES. ALWAYS.
Lorraine: This post is going up a little late because of timezone issues. So, Kirsti told me to celebrate the end while she went to sleep. I told her I was at work. She said I should have a dance party in the bathroom.
Sweeney: ALWAYS DANCE PARTIES. ALWAYS.
Lorraine: This post is going up a little late because of timezone issues. So, Kirsti told me to celebrate the end while she went to sleep. I told her I was at work. She said I should have a dance party in the bathroom.
Clone Sister Camping! Camping is not a thing that I want to do ever, but I imagine that camping with your homicidal twin is a new level discomfort, care of nature and the outdoors. Helena, being humanized a little more every episode, shares her can of beans with Sarah and insists she has to eat something. Sarah notes that Cold River isn't on a map. She wants to know where it is exactly, but Helena won't tell her, because if Sarah knew, she'd leave Helena behind. Sarah doesn't refute this. (S: Awkward.)
Helena abruptly changes the subject and asks if she can also have babies since Sarah has Kira and they are twins. Sarah connects that this probably has something to do with what the Proletheans did to her, but Helena isn't forthcoming.
Helena abruptly changes the subject and asks if she can also have babies since Sarah has Kira and they are twins. Sarah connects that this probably has something to do with what the Proletheans did to her, but Helena isn't forthcoming.
A bunch of dudes in robes are clubbing a shirtless dude with a bag on his head. One wall of the room is made of flames. From the other side of the flames, Angel watches the beating happening. He leaps through the flames and grabs Bag Head Guy. He pulls the bag off, and BHG gushes his thanks. But Angel vamps out and bites down on his neck. Electric Cellos like 30 seconds into the episode. This makes me very uncomfortable.
After the credits, the sun rises over Los Angeles 19 hours earlier. Angel and Werewolf Nina are snuggling.
After the credits, the sun rises over Los Angeles 19 hours earlier. Angel and Werewolf Nina are snuggling.
For reasons I cannot articulate, the will to write this recap has evaded me this week. That's my way of saying, "I'm sorry this is late and I have zero good excuses prepped for why it's so late."
Lorraine: I disagree, dearest friend. The reason The Mountain and the Viper is late is because it's The Mountain and The Viper. There. Done.
Sweeney: I stand corrected.
My old nemesis, the lying liar credits, kick us off: King's Landing. Moat Cailin! That's new, yeah? Sadly, it's because Ramsay is in this episode, but we'll concentrate on WOO NEW PLACE! for now.
Lorraine: I disagree, dearest friend. The reason The Mountain and the Viper is late is because it's The Mountain and The Viper. There. Done.
Sweeney: I stand corrected.
My old nemesis, the lying liar credits, kick us off: King's Landing. Moat Cailin! That's new, yeah? Sadly, it's because Ramsay is in this episode, but we'll concentrate on WOO NEW PLACE! for now.
I'm kicking off Segue Magic by veering off the topic considerably. Mostly because I haven't been enough places to have real favorites.
On the cutting room floor is a story about sitting with all the Sweeney siblings and a couple of cousins, listening to them talk about the number of places they've lived. When someone mentioned five (either for themselves or another cousin) there was good natured laughter. "Five is soooo low!"
...I've lived in two states my whole life, and one was only for like a hot minute while I broke teeth and learned to walk.
On the cutting room floor is a story about sitting with all the Sweeney siblings and a couple of cousins, listening to them talk about the number of places they've lived. When someone mentioned five (either for themselves or another cousin) there was good natured laughter. "Five is soooo low!"
...I've lived in two states my whole life, and one was only for like a hot minute while I broke teeth and learned to walk.
Angel and Gunn start us off with a pede-argument about whether or not they just take on some new case. Angel wants a full risk analysis, Gunn wants to go now, now, now. "Don't want to lose another baby with the bath water," Gunn says with a meaningful head tilt. Angel says fine. They'll send Spike.
Cut to Spike telling them to do it themselves, playing on what looks like a Game Boy Advance. There are Mario sound effects in the background of the rest of this scene. They all bicker back and forth about the super important job: some dead, demon mobster's body needs to be collected. He was a human-tolerant demon so they need to return him to his family to be revived, or else some other, less tolerant demons will take his place. Angel tells Spike to pack his bags and go.
Cut to Spike telling them to do it themselves, playing on what looks like a Game Boy Advance. There are Mario sound effects in the background of the rest of this scene. They all bicker back and forth about the super important job: some dead, demon mobster's body needs to be collected. He was a human-tolerant demon so they need to return him to his family to be revived, or else some other, less tolerant demons will take his place. Angel tells Spike to pack his bags and go.
The morning after the clone-twin murderunion, Rachel's apartment is now a crime scene, albeit an internal Dyad-run-crime-scene. Rachel arrives, not having anyone suggesting Daniel's body is too gruesome for her to see. She closes his dead eyes and the tender moment is cut short when she corrects Aldous's suggestion of Daniel's loyalty: "to you." Everyone's instantly aware that this is Helena's work, not Sarah's. There is security footage of the twins leaving together. There's a cryptic reference to whatever happened in Taiwan, but we only learn that Paul did his job well. Rachel finds the home movie of hers that Sarah watched. Aldous suggests that all of this has only happened because of her heavy-handed tactics, but Rachel says she's "only just begun."
DNA and SCIENCE and a NEAT-O SCREENSAVER.
DNA and SCIENCE and a NEAT-O SCREENSAVER.
You know what I love? Torture scenes! And sarcasm and this blog. (Two truths and a lie, guys!) Lucky me, we kick off my final full recap (!!!) in Gunn's very own Basement Of No Seriously You Know Don't Fucking Want To Go In There (K: A+), where he's being tortured and asking what he did to deserve the torture, what with his lack of memories. He calls out for the torturing demon to wait and it actually does, though not so much because of Gunn as because the ceiling is rumbling. The basement door swings open and it's none other than Illyria. That's a weird but pleasant surprise. Torture Demon tries to stop Illyria but is easily cast aside. Illyria rips Gunn's tacky mystical Hot Topic necklace off. (L: What a relief! For our eyes...) He slowly remembers who he is and who Illyria is and explains that he can't leave unless someone else puts on the necklace. Illyria has a really intense head-cocking I'VE GOT AN IDEA FACE.
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