My lovely closed caption tells me we are starting this episode with "disco woman vocalizing." Lorne is strutting down the hallways of Wolfram & Hart trying to sell The Grapes of Wrath in space to someone named Jerry. He hangs up that call and his assistant hands him another cell phone. Lorne tells this person that Big B (Jerry Bruckheimer then, yeah?) (K: YUP.) wants to know more details. He keeps up the showbiz talk until he finally makes it to Harmony's desk, greeting her warmly and complimenting her dress and hair. She does look lovely in pink.
Sweeney: I adore the fact that a Lorne/Harmony friendship is clearly a thing. I'm already completely sold on this episode.
FIRST THINGS FIRST: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARA. Apparently her co-workers are not showering her with candy and permission to not do anything today, which is stupid, so everyone else should shower her with internet high fives and the like.
The episode begins with somber music and a zoomy tour through the inter-workings of Firefly. It's giving me all sorts of "THIS IS THE LAST EPISODE! WHY?" feelings. The zoomy tour ends on River's face waking up. She goes out into the hall where she hears Simon and Kaylee laughing as he tells her a story of a med school streaking prank. As Kaylee asks what song he was singing he looks up at River and says, "I would be there right now," coldly, before resuming the laughter, making me think (hope?) this is more a River fear (/intuiton) than a thing that actually happened.
The episode begins with somber music and a zoomy tour through the inter-workings of Firefly. It's giving me all sorts of "THIS IS THE LAST EPISODE! WHY?" feelings. The zoomy tour ends on River's face waking up. She goes out into the hall where she hears Simon and Kaylee laughing as he tells her a story of a med school streaking prank. As Kaylee asks what song he was singing he looks up at River and says, "I would be there right now," coldly, before resuming the laughter, making me think (hope?) this is more a River fear (/intuiton) than a thing that actually happened.
Crazy Clone is in a bathroom somewhere, bandaging the wounds from Sarah stabbing her. There's a lot of blood and close-ups to give you that extra crazy vibe as Crazy Clone repeats, "I'm not Beth," over and over.
A child comes downstairs and steps in the trail of Crazy Clone's blood. SO UNHYGENIC. He opens the bathroom door because he's a stupid child and doesn't yet know to run far far away from the trail of blood. Crazy Clone motions to be quiet and ushers him into the bathroom with her.
A child comes downstairs and steps in the trail of Crazy Clone's blood. SO UNHYGENIC. He opens the bathroom door because he's a stupid child and doesn't yet know to run far far away from the trail of blood. Crazy Clone motions to be quiet and ushers him into the bathroom with her.
While this blog changes my opinions of everything and also I find it challenging to rank episodes because I love every episode in this season, I flailed a little when I first realized this one was mine and I've gotten pumped about it every time since. Fingers crossed that it's as glorious as I remember.
We open on Veronica and Keith decorating the tree. Veronica laments that as an only child she knows all the scary handmade ornaments are hers. She singles out a popsicle stick reindeer as particularly concerning. My little brother made one just like that in preschool and we have made fun of it while decorating for the last five or six years.
We open on Veronica and Keith decorating the tree. Veronica laments that as an only child she knows all the scary handmade ornaments are hers. She singles out a popsicle stick reindeer as particularly concerning. My little brother made one just like that in preschool and we have made fun of it while decorating for the last five or six years.
Rosewood's One Coffee Shop. Aria wants Spencer to look at a picture she found on Maya's website. It's a picture of a stamp on Maya's wrist and it's the same stamp Holden had on his wrist when Emily inexplicably ran into him at the church party. Aria thinks this is a huge clue and is confused by Spencer's lack of interest. Spencer explains that she can't Nancy Drew shit anymore. Only five days ago, she forgot to apply to college. Aria clarifies that it was only an early admissions deadline, but this is Spencer Hastings we're talking about. Aria tries to tell her that everything will be okay but (1) - Aria's wearing a skeleton crop top on top of some sort of gold lame tank top so no one can take her seriously and (2) - Spencer recently got a B on homework so her world is falling apart.
Sweeney: LOL, it's fun that this show tries to pretend they can possibly be going to school, what with all their 4am coffee dates midnight asylum break-ins.
Sweeney: LOL, it's fun that this show tries to pretend they can possibly be going to school, what with all their 4am coffee dates midnight asylum break-ins.
Wolfram & Hart. Late at night. The soundtrack from my 5th grade haunted house follows Fred around as she says goodnight to people and closes up Evil Radio Shack for the night. She turns around and then sees Spike and fake screams, dropping her papers. He appreciates her efforts to humor his evil-but-not ego. His I'm-not-evil-but-I-still-want-to-be-a-badass ego? IDK. Anyway, Fred says he needn't worry about any of that because he's a super special ghost. She's pretty sure she can help him, too, but obviously she can't help him without flaring up the Angel/Spike rivalry.
Pause: I get that for those of you have spent years with this show and written all the fic and whatnot, the tension in their relationship is a big huge deal.
Pause: I get that for those of you have spent years with this show and written all the fic and whatnot, the tension in their relationship is a big huge deal.
Sarah is where we last left her-- sitting in Alison's basement, explaining to her two-twins that she never met her birth parents. She was adopted at 8 and came to live "here" at 12. The show is shot in Canada, but I'm now realizing that I have no idea where it's supposed to take place. Internet says possibly Hamden, Connecticut. Huh.
Sweeney: Really? Weird. She mentions that Alison lives in Scarborough, a suburb of the city where she resides. I don't know enough about Canada, but according to Google maps, that could be a suburb of Toronto. Canadians, please explain.
Sweeney: Really? Weird. She mentions that Alison lives in Scarborough, a suburb of the city where she resides. I don't know enough about Canada, but according to Google maps, that could be a suburb of Toronto. Canadians, please explain.
The episode begins where the last episode ended. Sarah pulls over to answer the pink phone. A girl on the other end of the line is annoyed that Beth was MIA for so long (and it's going to be a whole lot longer still, girl). Sarah is freaking out as she answers that she did meet "the German" and then watched her get shot right in front of her. Just to kick this off with Tatiana Maslany flail: her voice is sort of stilted right now because, of course, Sarah's having a hard time processing and focusing on the accent. I wrote that about two seconds before Sarah does, in fact, slip as the girl on the other end of the line confirms that it means that someone is definitely trying to kill them off. Phone!Girl tells Sarah!Beth that she needs to dispose of the body and collect hair and blood samples.
The camera pans across a bunch of fancy cars and one fancy motorbike. Fred's voice from offscreen tells us that Angel's idea for a picnic was excellent. But her tone changes to one of relief as she finishes scanning Wesley for bugs and declares them all to be free from listening devices. Gunn says it's weird to be acting this way, but Angel assures them that it's necessary as there are tons of employees who want them dead. Man, that's a fun company they've taken over! Fred defends their new coworkers, and Wes snaps that maybe Whedon Hat Trick isn't as trustworthy as she thinks. Fred gives him major side-eye while saying that she knows WHT isn't evil.
Sweeney: Jealousy is an ugly look on everyone. I fear it's going to be worn a bit too much this season.
Sweeney: Jealousy is an ugly look on everyone. I fear it's going to be worn a bit too much this season.
We open at the close of the previous episode, with Veronica sobbing in her car. She's trying to deal with the news that Jake Kane is her real father, and worse, that Duncan is her - - *pause for an out-the-car-door puke* -- half-brother.
Sweeney: I love that they split this. Dealing with the emotional blow of the news at the close of the one episode and freeing Veronica up for the internal game of twenty questions and pull over vomit at the open of the second, giving each set of reactions the distinct weight they deserve.
Diva: Amen. Veronica decides she wants to take down Jake Kane, hard.
Sweeney: I love that they split this. Dealing with the emotional blow of the news at the close of the one episode and freeing Veronica up for the internal game of twenty questions and pull over vomit at the open of the second, giving each set of reactions the distinct weight they deserve.
Diva: Amen. Veronica decides she wants to take down Jake Kane, hard.
It's the morning after the last episode, and the girls are sitting around Maya's website, discussing what Mona's motives could have been. Hanna thinks she's just trying to help the Liars, but Spencer is like, the fuck she's trying to help. Aria interjects that whether the website is fake or not, they still need to get the password and see what's on it.
Emily enternounces that she just got a call from Cousin Nate, and they're going to be hiking up to Maya's favorite place, the old boat house, later that day. Girl, have you checked for ID yet? (L: Of course not, Sara. Of course not.)
Emily enternounces that she just got a call from Cousin Nate, and they're going to be hiking up to Maya's favorite place, the old boat house, later that day. Girl, have you checked for ID yet? (L: Of course not, Sara. Of course not.)
I first suggested that we cover the original Buffy movie way back in August 2012, not long after we started covering Buffy. Somehow, it ended up as a "this would be a good way to finish things" idea, and then with the birth of #snarkathon in December it became a "watch it alone-together with the Traumateers" thing. Aww.
Anyway, let's get to the movie, shall we?
We open in Dark Ages Europe, where we're given approximately two seconds of Slayer backstory - one girl in all the world, yada yada yada, she has a creepy birthmark on her chest known as "The Mark of the Coven".
Anyway, let's get to the movie, shall we?
We open in Dark Ages Europe, where we're given approximately two seconds of Slayer backstory - one girl in all the world, yada yada yada, she has a creepy birthmark on her chest known as "The Mark of the Coven".
A title card tells us we're going back to Sunnydale California, nineteen days earlier, and I already know it's going to be a sick joke in which we travel back solely to see how Spike got trapped in a glitter tornado. Sure enough, we find ourselves back in the Hellmouth, Spike all aglow in his magical, world saving, orange light.
Kirsti: Out of context, that scene just looks insane.
Sweeney: I didn't think about that, but you're right. I know we have a few Angel-before-Buffy watchers and I am deeply curious to hear how this came across to you without watching Buffy.
Kirsti: Out of context, that scene just looks insane.
Sweeney: I didn't think about that, but you're right. I know we have a few Angel-before-Buffy watchers and I am deeply curious to hear how this came across to you without watching Buffy.
Lorraine: I know, I know. FINALLY. My struggles with vlogging are epic and many. It’d probably require a whole ‘nother post to tell you everything I went through to record...
Veronica is examining the photos of Lilly's shoes in her bedroom and then Lilly's shoes in the evidence bag. She voice-overs that only one person can help her make sense of them, and only one person can help her get to that one person. In walks Cliff McCormack, who Veronica immediately starts schmoozing. Cliff asks if she's trying to sell him a raffle ticket. I suddenly remember loving Cliff. That's right, right? Cliff is awesome?
Democracy Diva: Cliff is awesome. He mentions that he failed criminal law, so there's hope for me as a lawyer yet!
Sweeney: A lawyer with tawdry clients like Loretta Cancun!
Democracy Diva: Cliff is awesome. He mentions that he failed criminal law, so there's hope for me as a lawyer yet!
Sweeney: A lawyer with tawdry clients like Loretta Cancun!
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