The previouslies suggest that Gwen is coming back, so I'm trying to keep that in mind as I watch this scene in which Cordevilia comes clean about her pregnancy in the Maternity Outfit of Evil and the gang is totally oblivious to her Bad Girl Styling. I know there's no leather, but this is like the fashion equivalent of the Big Book of Villain Gloating. I CAN'T EVEN. WAKE UP, FANG GANG. They're too busy fussing about how quickly she's developed, though Wesley is quick to point out that this isn't Cordelia's first mystical pregnancy rodeo and she came to term the same night on her last go-round. Cordevila takes offense to that comparison because she loves this baby. To be fair, Cordelia loved her hellspawn during pregnancy the last time around too. Connor's reassuring stance by her side doesn't do the NOT A HELLSPAWN! argument any favors.
I was pretty devastated when I discovered that I had to cover this episode, because - as you guys should know by now - I have eyeball phobia. The unfortunate thing is that I only have myself to blame for this - way back in the day, I was all "YAAAAAAY SPIKE!!!!" and insisted on the Sweeney, Lor, Kirsti recapping order because it meant that I could cover School Hard. Oh, Past Kirsti. You stupid, stupid girl.
Sweeney: To be fair, that was actually just the logical order based on when I joined the recaps -- it's more that you were excited about the way it worked out than that you actually moved for it to be that way. You know, for whatever consolation that affords you.
Sweeney: To be fair, that was actually just the logical order based on when I joined the recaps -- it's more that you were excited about the way it worked out than that you actually moved for it to be that way. You know, for whatever consolation that affords you.
We begin in a ridiculously fancy-shmancy driveway. I start to worry that everything on this show will make me think about Marissa Cooper, because all I can see is the sun setting behind her dead-eyed, expressionless face. Anyway, the driveway belongs to Logan, and he's yelling at some tourists who are trying to catch a glimpse of his apparently super-famous dad. #richpeopleproblems
At Neptune High, Duncan and Jake Kane are being boring. Dad wants son to run for student council; son has no fucks to give. Jake mentions a "Reign of Kane" and I laugh forever because he's the worst.
At Neptune High, Duncan and Jake Kane are being boring. Dad wants son to run for student council; son has no fucks to give. Jake mentions a "Reign of Kane" and I laugh forever because he's the worst.
The Liars are standing around at the School for Plotting Against a NotBlind!Girl, watching NotBlind!Jenna read braille and wondering wtf she's up to. The girls have decided that Aria is the one assigned to this task, because Jenna trusts her, on account of the inviting Aria to play musical instruments with her thing. Aria is not looking forward to this mission, but Hanna says she'd gladly trade her Crazy Mona for a Blind!Jenna. Jenna click clacks away, and Hanna says they should push a table in front of her and see what happens. LOL.
Sweeney: That proud smile is the best. This is why we love you, Hanna.
Lorraine: She should be proud because at least she owns it. None of these girls know a damn thing about subtlety.
Sweeney: That proud smile is the best. This is why we love you, Hanna.
Lorraine: She should be proud because at least she owns it. None of these girls know a damn thing about subtlety.
Kirsti: We start literally where we left off, with Angelus biting Faith's neck. Suddenly, he stops and drops her, scurrying backwards. "What...did you do?" he asks. Flashback to a few minutes earlier. While Angelus was taunting Wes, Faith grabbed a syringe from her boot and injected something into her arm before re-entering the fight. Back in the present, Angelus staggers around briefly before passing out. Wes asks Faith if she's okay. "Kicked his ass," she slurs before blacking out. Electric cellos.
After the credits, Fred's researching behind the desk at the Hyperion when Gunn bursts in the front door, dragging Angelus and screaming Connor's name. Apparently Wes called him and he went, no questions asked.
After the credits, Fred's researching behind the desk at the Hyperion when Gunn bursts in the front door, dragging Angelus and screaming Connor's name. Apparently Wes called him and he went, no questions asked.
New York City in 1977. We follow the pouring rain down to the street where Spike and Nikki are fighting and exchanging quips. Behind a nearby bench, baby!Wood watches the fight. Spike has Nikki in a headlock, and baby!Wood startles and knocks over a trashcan. Spike is distracted enough that Nikki is able to break out and continue the fight. She pulls out a stake and throws it at Spike, but he catches it mid-air and says he's spent a long time tracking Nikki down, and he doesn't want the fight to end so quickly. With one last compliment to her coat, he takes off.
Baby!Wood calls out to his mom. She tells him he did a great job staying low, just like she asked. I call bullshit on Spike not smelling/hearing/seeing the kid, but okay. Good job, baby!Wood.
Baby!Wood calls out to his mom. She tells him he did a great job staying low, just like she asked. I call bullshit on Spike not smelling/hearing/seeing the kid, but okay. Good job, baby!Wood.
Bach is playing and we're clearly in a fancy room which suggests flashback, at first, until I spot a comic book and then a Star Wars poster. This, instead, is Andrew's episode. He's sitting in a leather chair, telling the viewer that he's catching up on an old favorite, closing a fancy old book. "It's wonderful to get lost in a story, isn't it?" Sometimes, Andrew. Sometimes. He tries to smoke from a pipe, but coughs before awkwardly inviting to join him on the story of "Buffy, Slayer of the Vampyres."
Lorraine: I would've never thought to combine Andrew and Masterpiece Theater, but here it is in all its glory.
Sweeney: A rare stroke of S7 genius.
Lorraine: I would've never thought to combine Andrew and Masterpiece Theater, but here it is in all its glory.
Sweeney: A rare stroke of S7 genius.
One of these days, I'll stop making KFC references in the title. BUT NOT TODAY. Chez Summers. Buffy wanders around in the dark, turning off lights, picking up books and generally checking on sleeping Potentials. Upstairs, she sees one girl, Chloe, crying in the corner of the hallway and heads towards her. But something jumps out at her and knocks her down the stairs. She lands at the bottom, the First Slayer above her. "It's not enough," the First Slayer hisses, and Buffy wakes with a start. Cue wolf howl.
Lorraine: I'm going to admit that I'd previously been confusing the First and the First Slayer in my head. #Snowproblems.
K: Awkward...
Lorraine: I'm going to admit that I'd previously been confusing the First and the First Slayer in my head. #Snowproblems.
K: Awkward...
A title card tells us we're in Tijuana, Mexico. And in case you missed the title card there is also some generic, Mariachi-type music playing as we look out a little bar. In a back alley, a young, nervous looking boy is fiddling with a piñata and what looks like a small, bubble wrap envelope. He drops one envelope into a dumpster and grabs something out of it. Once he has that all settled, he walks to a nearby car and knocks on the window. Inside, are Troy and Logan.
Democracy Diva: In a nearby alley, Marissa Cooper is almost dying of a pills-and-tequila overdose. #headcanon
Sweeney: Accepted.
Democracy Diva: In a nearby alley, Marissa Cooper is almost dying of a pills-and-tequila overdose. #headcanon
Sweeney: Accepted.
Piper Mom is teaching some plot relevant lessons that allow the zoomy cameraman to capture "A" and "insane" on the blackboard. She talks about how desperate actions seemed necessary but were actually stupid. The girls are too busy staring off into space and thinking about how this applies to them being near or around a shovel to take notes, which displeases Piper Mom. But also fuck her. Emily opens her purse to find a creepy necklace made of teeth and letters spelling out, "DEAD GIRLS CAN'T SMILE" and runs to the bathroom, and the other girls also see themselves out in the middle of class because Piper Mom is a sham of an adult whose authority is respected by no one.
Sara: Interrupting just to say that Aria's dress is on point.
Sara: Interrupting just to say that Aria's dress is on point.
Faith is all bloodied and broken and Wesley tries to tend to her. She says she's okay, though she could use a shower. Wesley asks if she's sure if she's okay and all she says is that she's sticky. In the bathroom, we see Faith peel layers of clothes off her very bloodied body and then step into the shower. The stream of water starts to wash away the blood (but not the make-up!) and then she straight freaks the hell out and starts punching the tile wall, yelling as she does. That seemingly out of her system (at least for now) she goes back to washing off the blood.
Sweeney: This scene was really striking especially considering their last encounter before all of this. I kept waiting for that to be brought up, but I suppose it was sufficient that it made me think of it.
Sweeney: This scene was really striking especially considering their last encounter before all of this. I kept waiting for that to be brought up, but I suppose it was sufficient that it made me think of it.
We jump back in time to that moment in London where Giles is about to get his head chopped off by a Rage Ninja. This time, we see the whole scene through: Giles grabs the axe like a, well, ninja and uses it to cut the Bringer's head off. In the present, Giles is telling this story to Buffy and the Potentials as they walk through a cemetery. This group includes a new Potential named Chao-Ahn. He's going on and on about how it was a mix of luck, years and years of training and an uncanny sense, so you just know something is about to catch him off guard.
Sweeney: It's season 7 people. You should all have learned your lesson about self-assured speech-giving by now.
Sweeney: It's season 7 people. You should all have learned your lesson about self-assured speech-giving by now.
The episode starts looking out at a shed, in a shot very similar to the Pilot. It's five months after the events of the season two finale and the close of summer break. In the clunky way we've come to know and love to make fun of, the girls recap their summers: Aria beat out thousands of applicants for a photography course (S: LOL. Have we ever once seen Aria take a picture?); Spencer took a full load of classes at Hollis College of Pottery and Pedophiles; Emily built houses for the less fortunate; Hanna had a to-do list which she kind of completed.
Sweeney: I feel you, girl. Except, you know, I actually took all those jobs where I worked for free.
Sweeney: I feel you, girl. Except, you know, I actually took all those jobs where I worked for free.
Angelus is strolling the halls of Brooding HQ, and is bummed when he finds Lilah's corpse, because that's less fun. He feeds on her anyway, and is still feeding when Wes and Gunn round the corner. Gunn throws his weapon with terrible aim, given the range. Angelus drops Lilah and flees through the window. Wes's face falls when he takes in the sight of dead Lilah.
Gunn goes back to the lobby where the others are tending to a wound in Cordelia's leg. Gunn informs them that Lilah's dead. Cordelia gets shifty eyes and ominously announces that it's started. Electric Cellos.
Gunn goes back to the lobby where the others are tending to a wound in Cordelia's leg. Gunn informs them that Lilah's dead. Cordelia gets shifty eyes and ominously announces that it's started. Electric Cellos.
The previouslies remind us of Warren murdering Tara and the flaying, so that's SUPER promising. Giles is heading off to the desert to take the Potentials on Vision Quest, fretting about whether or not Buffy will be all right, Buffy jokes that they've managed longer than that -- you know when he ABANDONED THEM. The rest of the Scoobies strut in and out of the scene to talk about making marshmallows, the fact that the girls are fighting over who gets to drive since Giles doesn't have a valid license, and let Giles know that Molly is locked in the trunk. Good times.
Kirsti: My favourite thing about this scene is Giles berating Buffy for what she told the Potentials about the Vision Quest:
Kirsti: My favourite thing about this scene is Giles berating Buffy for what she told the Potentials about the Vision Quest:
Plugin by Social Author Bio