We start exactly where we left off, because this aired as a two hour finale. Buffy and Anya both pull themselves upright, equal parts thrilled and confused to see Giles. Willow on the other hand says, "Uh oh. Daddy's home." He tells her calmly but coldly that she needs to stop what she's doing, but she replies that she's not done yet. She starts to stand, but Giles says "Stay down" and gestures with his fingers. She falls back to the floor, and informs us that no, Giles didn't go back to England become a crazy powerful warlock. He's using borrowed power.
Giles says that he's there to help, but she has no fucks to give. She uses magic to hover herself into the air. Giles makes his "stay down" gesture again, but Willow makes a gesture of her own, and remains unaffected. Giles looks worried.
We open up at a Rosewood Swim Meet, where Caleb is working on the Super Secret Cell Phone Files in the middle of a hundred people. Genius. The girls remind us of what happened last time (calling the number in Alison/Vivian's coat and setting up a meeting), which is actually a good thing this time because I had legitimately forgotten that this was happening. Aria is the one going to meet him, and she's worried but Spencer tells her they'll have her back. How has Aria not figured out yet that NOTHING BAD EVER HAPPENS TO HER EVER?
Sweeney: Right? They should be sending Aria in for all such shady missions. She's got some sort of magical immunity going.
Sweeney: Right? They should be sending Aria in for all such shady missions. She's got some sort of magical immunity going.
Do you have any idea how many times my fingers inadvertently wrote "Benedict Cumberbatch" while trying to write the name of this episode? (It was two. Which was still two too many, really.)
ANYWAY. We start in the lobby of the Hyperion, immediately after the end of the last episode. Fred says that Angel's still not answering his phone, and the Fang Gang debate whether they should go out looking for him. They're saved the trouble though when Angel walks in the door, limping on account of all the bullet wounds. The gang help him to a chair, and ask if Connor's responsible for his injuries. He informs them that Connor's name is Steven now, and that no, he wasn't responsible for the injuries. Fred asks where he is, and Angel's all "*shrug* He'll find me if he needs me." The gang are all "Um, wow. Way to parent," but Angel is familiar with the ways of Traumaland and knows that neglect is the best medicine.
ANYWAY. We start in the lobby of the Hyperion, immediately after the end of the last episode. Fred says that Angel's still not answering his phone, and the Fang Gang debate whether they should go out looking for him. They're saved the trouble though when Angel walks in the door, limping on account of all the bullet wounds. The gang help him to a chair, and ask if Connor's responsible for his injuries. He informs them that Connor's name is Steven now, and that no, he wasn't responsible for the injuries. Fred asks where he is, and Angel's all "*shrug* He'll find me if he needs me." The gang are all "Um, wow. Way to parent," but Angel is familiar with the ways of Traumaland and knows that neglect is the best medicine.
We get an entire season worth of previouslies which, much like the Scoobies, almost entirely ignores Dawn. Poor Dawnie. Once that's over with, Buffy's running through the woods followed by Anya and Xander. Xander stops running to possibly throw up, because OH GOD WILLOW JUST FLAYED A GUY. Buffy says that they can't afford to stop because of Willow's "one down..." line. Anya completes the phrase and earns herself a gold star.
Sweeney: Congrats Anya! I don't think she's received many of these!
Lorraine: Xander mentions the smell and sound of the flaying, which is something I hadn't previously given thought to. THANKS XANDER.
Sweeney: Congrats Anya! I don't think she's received many of these!
Lorraine: Xander mentions the smell and sound of the flaying, which is something I hadn't previously given thought to. THANKS XANDER.
Kaylee is doubting Simon's claim that he swears. She cutely asks if he does all this cussing when she goes to bed, and he retorts that he swears when it's appropriate. Kaylee thinks the point of swearing is that it's never appropriate. I get what she means, and I may have agreed with her more BEFORE I read the Fifty Shades series and was educated in the ways of the world: sometimes there ain't nothing more appropriate than a big, fat FUCK YOU.
nyhow, Kaylee and Simon pause their chatter when they spot Inara. Kaylee greets her and asks if she's off for a romantic night, and Inara says she hopes so. She tells them not to let Mal get them in trouble and that she'll see them soon.
nyhow, Kaylee and Simon pause their chatter when they spot Inara. Kaylee greets her and asks if she's off for a romantic night, and Inara says she hopes so. She tells them not to let Mal get them in trouble and that she'll see them soon.
We slow motion zoom in on Angel, who looks like he's trying very hard to emote, which means you know shit is going down; this episode starts one second after Connor has reappeared. The camera pans to the right and Groo jumps into action, swinging his battle axe, also in slow-mo. We keep spinning and land back on Connor in the background, as in the foreground, Angel yells for everyone to wait.
Kirsti: I think the slow motion yelling was my favourite on account of how spectacularly awful it was.
Kirsti: I think the slow motion yelling was my favourite on account of how spectacularly awful it was.
I actually just finished watching Seeing Red about 20 minutes ago. After unloading all of my WHY TARA WHY feelings on Twitter (and the last post), I decided to just finish off my emotions and watch this episode too. The point of all this is just to warn you that I wrote this while my emotions were freshly Whedon-ed. Also, WHY TARA WHY? An ambulance arrives at 1630 Revello.
Kirsti: I stop to have thousands and thousands of feels because the last time an ambulance was called to Chez Summers, it was in The Body.
Sweeney: And this episode makes plenty of allusions to that one. Thousands of feels totally called for.
Kirsti: I stop to have thousands and thousands of feels because the last time an ambulance was called to Chez Summers, it was in The Body.
Sweeney: And this episode makes plenty of allusions to that one. Thousands of feels totally called for.
Hanna is waiting outside the vice principal's office with her mother as well as her new stepsister and stepmother. Everyone is silent and in various degrees of feels over the mass message of naked Kate. Hanna's phone rings and Ashley gives her, "Don't you fucking dare look at that phone," face. The principal emerges and says, "Mrs. Marin," which awkwardly gets a response from both his current and his ex wife.
The other three PLLs are looking at a red coat that Spencer picked up with Ali's claim ticket conveniently tucked into Hanna's stolen copy of Lolita. Aria doesn't think Ali would wear it, but Spencer thinks that this is probably part of Wigison's special separate wardrobe.
Lorraine: Definitely have to have a wardrobe that goes well with a wig, you know? You have to respect Wigison for her commitment.
The other three PLLs are looking at a red coat that Spencer picked up with Ali's claim ticket conveniently tucked into Hanna's stolen copy of Lolita. Aria doesn't think Ali would wear it, but Spencer thinks that this is probably part of Wigison's special separate wardrobe.
Lorraine: Definitely have to have a wardrobe that goes well with a wig, you know? You have to respect Wigison for her commitment.
The episode starts with a lot of shots of Los Angeles before taking us back to Brooding Hotel, where the gang is patching up the earthquake damaged hotel and Groo is pleading with Angel to heed his advice...on the new color selection. I won't lie, I'm kind of a fan of Groo. Not in the sense that I actually care a great deal what happens to him, but he's kind of precious and amusing.
Lorraine: He was a little off-putting at first, especially in the sense of the love triangle and cockblocking, but I'm warming to him as well.
Sweeney: Angel says no and stops Gunn from throwing away something that is seriously charred. He just wants everything “the way it was.” Hugs.
Lorraine: He was a little off-putting at first, especially in the sense of the love triangle and cockblocking, but I'm warming to him as well.
Sweeney: Angel says no and stops Gunn from throwing away something that is seriously charred. He just wants everything “the way it was.” Hugs.
I grew anxious about recapping this episode months ago. I hadn't even anticipated how much drama would ensue in Traumaland before we reached this point. I was a little blindsided by that, to be honest. The bright side is that it actually makes this recap a little less scary for me. The stage has been well set, and many an argument has already been had much earlier than I expected. This, of course, isn't going to make this episode any more enjoyable to watch. But that's what we're going to do, so let's get to it.
Kirsti: I'm pretty sure that back in January when Sweeney and I hung out in LA for like four hours, one of the first things I said (besides "OMG, In n Out needs to come to Australia because this shake is magical") was "I'm scared of Seeing Red." So yeah.
Kirsti: I'm pretty sure that back in January when Sweeney and I hung out in LA for like four hours, one of the first things I said (besides "OMG, In n Out needs to come to Australia because this shake is magical") was "I'm scared of Seeing Red." So yeah.
We start out on an unknown planet, with a group of cowboys on horses stopping two strangers, a husband and wife, driving a wagon. The cowboys tell the guy driving that he's carrying something that belongs to them. He says that the stranger is going to give him everything he has in the wagon, including some one-on-one time with his missus. The stranger says he might want to reconsider that last one because he married him a "powerful ugly creature," and as he lifts his head, we can see that it's lovable, huggable Jayne.
Jayne says that if he could make him prettier, he would. Mal responds that Jayne is not the man he met a year ago. This is all happening with Mal still wearing the bonnet, by the way.
Jayne says that if he could make him prettier, he would. Mal responds that Jayne is not the man he met a year ago. This is all happening with Mal still wearing the bonnet, by the way.
We open at the Hyperion. Gunn and Fred are going through files, and it's awkward because there are a bunch that Wes was meant to be taking care of, but not so much any more. Lorne walks in, and asks how they're going before saying that it's important to keep busy and throw yourself into your work at times like these. He looks pointedly at the stairs as he says this. Fred reminds him that Angel's lost the only child he'll ever have, and Lorne says that he knows, but wishes Angel would talk to them.
Gunn doesn't want to find out first hand whether the rage has passed, and Fred says that she doesn't think Angel's planning on finishing the smothering. Gunn snarks that that's just because Wes is too smart to turn up at the hotel.
Gunn doesn't want to find out first hand whether the rage has passed, and Fred says that she doesn't think Angel's planning on finishing the smothering. Gunn snarks that that's just because Wes is too smart to turn up at the hotel.
After the previouslies, we're in one of Sunnydale's many cemeteries. A couple of vampires are running for their lives, but not from Buffy. No, they're running from the Trio, who are all riding quad bikes with stakes on the front of them and who are after the metal disc one of the vamps is holding. Because OBVIOUSLY to everything in that sentence.
One of the vamps stops and breaks a branch off a nearby tree, and uses it to knock Andrew off his quad bike. Warren and Jonathan swerve to avoid him and collide. The vamps run for it but only get as far as the gate before they're attacked by Buffy. Clearly not having a good night. Buffy knocks one vamp out, and starts pummelling the other. While doing so, the knocked out vamp comes to and starts creeping up behind her.
One of the vamps stops and breaks a branch off a nearby tree, and uses it to knock Andrew off his quad bike. Warren and Jonathan swerve to avoid him and collide. The vamps run for it but only get as far as the gate before they're attacked by Buffy. Clearly not having a good night. Buffy knocks one vamp out, and starts pummelling the other. While doing so, the knocked out vamp comes to and starts creeping up behind her.
Spencer, Emily and Hanna crowd around Caleb as he works on enhancing the video he found on A's cell phone. He's kind of annoyed at their hovering, though Spencer says they aren't even that close. They're close enough that he knows Spencer had a cheeseburger for lunch. I'm not ashamed to say that it reminded me of the episode where Chuckie Finster gained a super sense of smell and used it to get rid of bullies. One day, I will recap all of the Rugrats. (S: ONE DAY.)
As Caleb keeps working on the video, Emily gets a call from Hanna, which she quickly ignores. Then, Aria receives a call from Hanna, which she too ignores. Caleb's next, and finally Hanna calls Spencer. She jokes about being the low man on the totem poll, but at least picks up the phone.
As Caleb keeps working on the video, Emily gets a call from Hanna, which she quickly ignores. Then, Aria receives a call from Hanna, which she too ignores. Caleb's next, and finally Hanna calls Spencer. She jokes about being the low man on the totem poll, but at least picks up the phone.
Angel stands in his fire and earthquake destroyed room, staring at the charred and empty crib. We zoom in on his hurt face, which a lot of you seem to have very little sympathy for. You Heartless Cows can pretend he's thinking about how to get rid of smoke damage.
Cut to Wesley's apartment. Fred is sadly listening to several messages she left for Wesley. He has not been home. She's having a hard time accepting that he would kidnap Connor. Gunn is more on team, "well. It happened." They both know that if Angel reaches Wesley first, he's a dead man. Fred wants to stay in the apartment in case Wesley comes back, but Gunn doesn't think Wes is coming back. His toothbrush, razor and gun are gone, aka the essentials. I'm not sure what you would need to find gone from my house to assume I was gone forever. All my nail polishes and books probably wouldn't be conducive to running away, you know?
Cut to Wesley's apartment. Fred is sadly listening to several messages she left for Wesley. He has not been home. She's having a hard time accepting that he would kidnap Connor. Gunn is more on team, "well. It happened." They both know that if Angel reaches Wesley first, he's a dead man. Fred wants to stay in the apartment in case Wesley comes back, but Gunn doesn't think Wes is coming back. His toothbrush, razor and gun are gone, aka the essentials. I'm not sure what you would need to find gone from my house to assume I was gone forever. All my nail polishes and books probably wouldn't be conducive to running away, you know?
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