The Bronze is having a grand re-opening, which is a sweet little piece of continuity, since Olaf (otherwise known as the Troll Gone Wild) destroyed it pretty good in the last episode I covered. Xander was also wearing a cast the last couple of episodes. I like to positively reinforce the show when I can, so it doesn't feel too bad when I yell at it for plot devices or contrivance or Season 4.
ANYWAYS. Inside, The Bronze has gotten a bit of a facelift. A band is playing on stage while Anya and Xander dance together, right next to Willow and Tara. Buffy is sitting nearby, alone, and watching all the fun she isn't having.
Sweeney: As promised, here is some of the miscellaneous absurdity scrapped from the recap. This is not actually in any particular order and probably won’t make much sense without having...
This chapter, dear readers, marks the mid-way point in Fifty Shades Freed. We are halfway there. (And trying not to think about the fact that this means we still have three long months of Fifty Shades reading ahead of us.) As with the first two books, we are celebrating this momentous occasion with a vlog. This is the final Fifty Shades vlog recap! I realize that we have now celebrated the shit out of every completed step in the Fifty Shades reading process and it has probably lost all meaning for you, but we really like to celebrate.
Several of you mentioned on Twitter that 5 minutes is your max for a vlog, so I apologize for not being able to get our 40 minutes of rambling into anything less than 14.
Several of you mentioned on Twitter that 5 minutes is your max for a vlog, so I apologize for not being able to get our 40 minutes of rambling into anything less than 14.
Does this episode title mean that we can confirm that A is female? Or that A is just fucking with everywhere possible? Anyway, the episode begins with the Cavanaugh mailbox being smashed by a baseball bat by someone unseen.
Aria's in her room getting ready for another day of her pedolationship and maybe attending a class or two. Papa Cheater won't be home for dinner but he's really awkward about it, due to probably going on a date with Piper Mom. Because of reasons, she has to get his checkbook out of his coat pocket to pay for his dance marathon pledge and she finds Piper Mom's ticket to the museum where she and Pedzrafitz had Baby's Day Out.
Aria's in her room getting ready for another day of her pedolationship and maybe attending a class or two. Papa Cheater won't be home for dinner but he's really awkward about it, due to probably going on a date with Piper Mom. Because of reasons, she has to get his checkbook out of his coat pocket to pay for his dance marathon pledge and she finds Piper Mom's ticket to the museum where she and Pedzrafitz had Baby's Day Out.
Sweeney: We kick off the episode upstairs at Brooding Hotel. Angel looks out the window as the tinkly pianos of feels play. We're starting with the pianos of feels? I have no idea what's about to happen, but as I'm not actually recovered from Buffy, I am upset about this.
Lorraine: I trust the Piano pretty implicitly too, so I'm upset about being upset and not yet knowing why I'm so upset. Way to go, episode.
Lorraine: I trust the Piano pretty implicitly too, so I'm upset about being upset and not yet knowing why I'm so upset. Way to go, episode.
Sweeney: The episode begins at The Magic Box, mid-Scooby powwow. It's that time of year again! Time for another traumatically bad Buffy Birthday! Willow is being the best friend and fully on Team Party, but Buffy's all, "Yeah, but, remember how my birthday falls mid-season, when things start to get really interesting with the Big Bad?" I'm paraphrasing.
Lorraine: A lot. Because no one has learned that lesson yet, and still have faith in things like cake and presents.
Lorraine: A lot. Because no one has learned that lesson yet, and still have faith in things like cake and presents.
Lorraine: The Liars all come down the stairs at the Hastings Manor, led by Aria. They complain about the early hour, but Aria says she has to show them something important. Aria pulls up the picture of Alison being followed by a shadow on the night she was killed. Spencer insists the shadow following Alison is totally Ian, but since last week it was Toby, I say we don't take her word for it.
Aria prints out the picture as Hanna asks if Aria's been up all night. Aria non-answers, but Hanna can tell she hasn't slept because one eye is bigger than the other. "You look like a strung out Power Puff girl." I love Hanna and am only sad that I didn't think of this association first.
Aria prints out the picture as Hanna asks if Aria's been up all night. Aria non-answers, but Hanna can tell she hasn't slept because one eye is bigger than the other. "You look like a strung out Power Puff girl." I love Hanna and am only sad that I didn't think of this association first.
After the previouslies, we’re at Cordy’s apartment. Gunn and Wes are in a stare down. This leads into some very hard core “I’mma beat you” talk, which culminates in Gunn beating Wes at Risk. Gunn gloats and does a little happy dance, and it’s pretty fantastic.
Cordy appears in her dressing gown, and is all “Wow, it’s super late, you guys should go.” Wes is all “Uhhhhh, it’s half seven, weirdo,” and she tells them to get out. Apparently the office is now based in her apartment, and she’s sick of them both. The trio mope a little about how Angel’s never going to call, and then Wes makes a decision that the first thing to go will be the stupid business cards.
Cordy appears in her dressing gown, and is all “Wow, it’s super late, you guys should go.” Wes is all “Uhhhhh, it’s half seven, weirdo,” and she tells them to get out. Apparently the office is now based in her apartment, and she’s sick of them both. The trio mope a little about how Angel’s never going to call, and then Wes makes a decision that the first thing to go will be the stupid business cards.
Kirsti: Well, we're officially into the second half of season 5, y'all! We open at Chez Summers where a Scooby Gang meeting is in progress. Buffy apologises for the house being messy - Joyce still isn't up to doing the cleaning, and Buffy's 19 and has a sacred duty to save the planet from evil, so pffff, cleaning.
Lorraine: I'm 26 and have a sacred duty to watch TV for a not-living. Pfff. Cleaning.
K: A+. I'm 30 and periodically "Pff" when my mother suggests I dust my room.
Lorraine: I'm 26 and have a sacred duty to watch TV for a not-living. Pfff. Cleaning.
K: A+. I'm 30 and periodically "Pff" when my mother suggests I dust my room.
Sara: The girls watch the extended version of the "I Know You Wanna Kiss Me" video, which has Alison saying that she has to get back to the barn before the PLLs get suspicious. The girls see the end of the video, where the camera is turned around on Ian. The camera is knocked to the ground, and Ali's hand grabs at the dirt and my closed captions say she groans. Hanna points out that there are things besides pain that make people groan (sex) but Spencer doesn't seem to think that's it.
Lorraine: To be fair, she's grabbing handfuls of dirt in the scene too, which seems like more of a desperation thing than a, "woo! This feels so good!" thing. I mean, unless dirt is your thing. IDK.
Lorraine: To be fair, she's grabbing handfuls of dirt in the scene too, which seems like more of a desperation thing than a, "woo! This feels so good!" thing. I mean, unless dirt is your thing. IDK.
A seizure cut introduces the episode as Cordelia, Wesley and Gunn leave the Brooding Hotel with their possessions in white boxes. Cordelia echoes our feelings at the end of last episode with a, "what just happened?"
Sweeney: The end of the last episode was a reminder of how fun being a new watcher of a show can be. I'm surprisingly spoiled on this show, BUT I STILL CAN'T STOP ASKING THIS QUESTION, CORDELIA. Good job show. But also, PLEASE EXPLAIN YOURSELF.
K: Agreed. Also, A+ gif selection, Lor.
Sweeney: The end of the last episode was a reminder of how fun being a new watcher of a show can be. I'm surprisingly spoiled on this show, BUT I STILL CAN'T STOP ASKING THIS QUESTION, CORDELIA. Good job show. But also, PLEASE EXPLAIN YOURSELF.
K: Agreed. Also, A+ gif selection, Lor.
Lorraine: Last recap got fun, didn't it? After all that, I just wanted to say that we love hearing all of your feedback. The 3,000 plus words we spend recapping an episode are nothing, if not for the comments section underneath. So, thank you for keeping it interesting. Thank you for being imaginative, insightful, but most, most of all, respectful. Thank you for understanding that you may not change my mind, and I might not change yours but that's okay because there are no right answers.
Well, perhaps there is ONE right answer: potatoes > Riley Finn.
Well, perhaps there is ONE right answer: potatoes > Riley Finn.
I don't know if we can keep calling all of these late or not. I think the first rule of Segue Magic is that there are no rules when it comes to Segue Magic.
Last time, Sweeney introduced "Beyond Traumaland," which gives us a chance to briefly discuss things we are reading and watching outside of the material we cover here on Snark Squad. In the video below, I talk to you a little about Code Name Verity, Eleanor & Park, the seventh season of Doctor Who and Orphan Black.
Plus I also confuse myself a little bit when it comes to spoiler tagging vlogs.
Last time, Sweeney introduced "Beyond Traumaland," which gives us a chance to briefly discuss things we are reading and watching outside of the material we cover here on Snark Squad. In the video below, I talk to you a little about Code Name Verity, Eleanor & Park, the seventh season of Doctor Who and Orphan Black.
Plus I also confuse myself a little bit when it comes to spoiler tagging vlogs.
Sweeney: Gunn is helping a wounded Angel into the Brooding HQ. Angel's babbling and Gunn doesn't really know what's going on, but he found Angel at Darla's motel. Through his crazy stress babble, Angel reveals the gist of what just happened: Dru is back and she just re-sired Darla. Wesley is once again on Team Let Darla Go, and Angel's all, "Nope! I can save her!" and pulls out a stake. Roll electric cello.
Kirsti: I'm still a little confused as to why Angel has a stake just lying around his office. I mean, if it were part of his magical stake-firing wrist weaponry, then sure.
Kirsti: I'm still a little confused as to why Angel has a stake just lying around his office. I mean, if it were part of his magical stake-firing wrist weaponry, then sure.
We begin in the hospital. Buffy and Riley are sitting together while Dawn naps on Buffy’s lap. Giles is fretting about trying to be useful while Willow and Xander bicker about the painfully slow passage of time. Once we have sufficiently driven home the Everybody Feels Like This Is Lasting Forever-ness of the situation, we see a doctor walking down the hall and they all stand up. Then the credits roll to keep us waiting a little bit longer. Rude, show. Just rude.
Kirsti: SRSLY. Also: I love that all the Scoobies are there. I mean, yes, they’re there in part to support Buffy. But at the same time, as much as we’ve hated on Joyce in the past, she’s a surrogate mother to most of them.
Kirsti: SRSLY. Also: I love that all the Scoobies are there. I mean, yes, they’re there in part to support Buffy. But at the same time, as much as we’ve hated on Joyce in the past, she’s a surrogate mother to most of them.
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