OK so disclaimer, the previouslies showed me some things that haven’t been snarked yet at the time of writing (apparently Sandy lied to Kirsten about someone being dead!) so I’m not 100% up to speed here, plotwise. But I think that’s part of the beauty of these recaps, so I’m just going to take this episode in stride and try not to be too confused by all the dramz. No promises, though.
Marines: I can assure you that by knowing who Sandy and Kirsten are, you've overcome most of the battle. You got this.
Gordon arrives home to an empty apartment, bringing Selina with him. While Selina heads into the kitchen to help herself to food, he reads Barbara’s note in which she apologises for being so jumpy and useless lately, and says she’s leaving town for a while to pull herself together. (M: I even hate Barbara when her presence is merely implied by a letter.) Gordon gets a phone call, so Selina takes the opportunity to sneak a look at the note and pry into Gordon’s personal life while she swigs from a bottle of milk. I see what you did there, show. Selina is the future cow-woman!
We begin with the Doctor and Rose frantically chasing something with the TARDIS. It's mostly a lot of frantic camera motions and the Doctor explaining to Rose that "mauve" is the universally recognized by-everyone-who-isn't-human color for danger, and what they are chasing is totally mauve. Also it's headed for the center of London, as dangerous wibbly wobbly timey wimey things tend to do.
We pick up right after the last episode, with the girls hanging out at the mausoleum, the hot spot of all the young liars in town. Spencer has flipped through the journal and doesn't recognize any of the names in it. Hanna says that Ali changed the names around, because she was the kind of girl who even lied to her own diary, or something. Spencer wonders why Hanna kept this to herself for so long and she tries to carefully explain that there is stuff in there that they may not know about each other or stuff they may want to forget. Emily and Spencer get snippy with her for keeping the thing to herself, but Aria calms everyone down.
Rich people stuff like large lawns and horseback riding: a woman rides up on a horse and calls out to a man named Jack that she'll be done shortly and he should behave himself. Rich Lady (Margaret) blows him a kiss and rides off. Jack is sitting with a group of his buds and they joke about not actually ever playing tennis, and just sitting around day drinking. It's all fun until one of his bros sees Margaret's horse, suspiciously sans Margaret.
Echo is in the chair just after an imprint. She sees Adelle and greets her with a familiar "Addy?" Adelle looks pained as she tells Echo!Margaret that she's very sorry to be the one to break the news. Margaret is dead.
Echo is in the chair just after an imprint. She sees Adelle and greets her with a familiar "Addy?" Adelle looks pained as she tells Echo!Margaret that she's very sorry to be the one to break the news. Margaret is dead.
After some scandalous “Previously Ons,” we open on Sandy driving up to the Cohen supermansion. Chirping birds quietly assure us it is, indeed, morning, despite the fact that it could also be, you know, noon. In the magical kitchen, where Ryan is fully dressed and studying for a test, Seth wanders in in a bathrobe and wants to discuss his love life. Ryan displays more of the surliness I would expect from a teenager in the morning, but this seems to be more due to him WANTING to study versus the horrific reality of it being morning and ANOTHER GODDAMN DAY.
For those following along at home, I was the kid who liked to remind everyone that morning and mourning were homonyms FOR A GODDAMN REASON.
For those following along at home, I was the kid who liked to remind everyone that morning and mourning were homonyms FOR A GODDAMN REASON.
The girls are in Spencer's room trying to process this big! revelation! that we've been hinting at since the pilot. In spite of how stupid this is from a plot perspective I kind of feel Aria on her, "Guys, we just found out that the girl whose murder we've been quasi-investigating for 3+ years is actually not dead, CAN WE FUCKING TAKE A MINUTE?" Aria's confused by her feelings, and I don't blame her.
Spencer wants everyone to focus on making Ali feel safe enough to come back so they can talk to her. Emily's the only one willing to point out the obvious: that it's very possible and so-very-Ali that Ali is A. Spencer tries to run down the names of people Ali could be afraid of and settles on the guy that attacked her in Ravenswood.
Spencer wants everyone to focus on making Ali feel safe enough to come back so they can talk to her. Emily's the only one willing to point out the obvious: that it's very possible and so-very-Ali that Ali is A. Spencer tries to run down the names of people Ali could be afraid of and settles on the guy that attacked her in Ravenswood.
This episode doesn't begin with the improbable bonfire which by itself bums me out for the loss of the familiar. Even worse, it starts with people poking at Lila's mottled corpse. So. Cool. We jump back 6 months earlier to June 2014 when Lila was still alive. She's hanging out with Rebecca and speculating about whether her vagina's going to be all, "Nope, access denied!" because she waited too long to have sex. It's kind of adorable because while that's total bullshit, this conversation is also so completely plausible. Rebecca wonders if the sex talk means that Griffin's given up on that virginity pact and Lila confesses that she met someone whose identity she can't reveal because, "He has a wife." It pleases me to no end when the stars are earned by the people the episode is truly about.
Hi, hi, hello! I'm Anna, also known as KlutzyBallerina around some parts of the interwebz.
We start with a casual walk down the pier where our three bros are discussing their “manning up” moments that resulted in their relationships (Ryan and Zach) or lack thereof (poor Seth). Seth is equally excited and scared of the possibility of a relationship and/or a threesome with Alex and her “lesbian ex”. Summer joins them and reminds them how her usual breakfast of Zone bars is being replaced by diner food. I'm not sure if this is meant to reinforce how bad her stepmother is or how much of a rebel she is for skipping her diet breakfast. Either way, dinner wins. Lindsay shows up late, of course, and awkwardly forces Seth out of the table meant for four.
We start with a casual walk down the pier where our three bros are discussing their “manning up” moments that resulted in their relationships (Ryan and Zach) or lack thereof (poor Seth). Seth is equally excited and scared of the possibility of a relationship and/or a threesome with Alex and her “lesbian ex”. Summer joins them and reminds them how her usual breakfast of Zone bars is being replaced by diner food. I'm not sure if this is meant to reinforce how bad her stepmother is or how much of a rebel she is for skipping her diet breakfast. Either way, dinner wins. Lindsay shows up late, of course, and awkwardly forces Seth out of the table meant for four.
A very worried man in suspenders is trying to make his way unnoticed through an what looks like an office/storage area. He slips on a ski mask and makes a run for it, but another identically dressed man leaps out at him. A fight ensues, and it's a little hard to keep track of what's going on because I don't know who is who. One Ski Mask Man rips the blade off a paper cutter and uses that to attack the Two Ski Mask Man. All said and done, One Ski Mask Man cuts Two's finger off, but in the end, it is Two who wrestles away the blade and hacks One to death. Two lifts off his mask and reveals he is not the original, very worried man we saw. RIP Very Worried Man. We never knew ye. Two looks toward a nearby survellaince camera and now we're watching him on the video. He lifts his arm in some sort of salute at whoever is watching him.
Veronica is at the doctor's office and he's telling her she has chlamydia. Veronica is in shock and says she has been sexually active but she finds it impossible that the guy, Duncan, could've infected her. The doctor levels her with a, "you think you know someone," and tells her they can treat it with antibiotics. Veronica Voice Over takes us from there to Neptune High, saying that her grandma used to always say that when life hands you lemons, you make lemonade. She wishes Grandma Reynolds were alive so she can ask what to do when life hands you chlamydia.
Sweeney: I like the idea that the mother of Lianne Reynolds would have been the sort of grandma that you could go to with your STD struggles. Makes sense.
Sweeney: I like the idea that the mother of Lianne Reynolds would have been the sort of grandma that you could go to with your STD struggles. Makes sense.
This episode begins with lots of horror movie-esque flickering of lights in the imprint room. I can see Topher and Boyd and other people I can't identify. Echo and Sierra are down in the main room, looking up at the weirdness through the frosted glass windows. Sierra asks what's happening and Echo answers that "she made a mistake - now she's dead," and then a shot is fired and blood spatters on the window. This seems contrary to the idyllic, cushioned environment the Dollhouse aims for.
12 Hours Earlier: Echo is in clothing pulled from the BDSM Escort section of the Bad Girl Styling closet explaining to Boyd that it's not about the pain but trust.
12 Hours Earlier: Echo is in clothing pulled from the BDSM Escort section of the Bad Girl Styling closet explaining to Boyd that it's not about the pain but trust.
It's kind of weird because episode 13 is generally the Halloween episode but no one has mentioned Halloween. Instead, the Liars are crashing the Ravenswood-party-that-requires-a-costume-and-is-also-in-a-graveyard. The girls are all, "WTF. Who throws a party in a graveyard?" and the answer is apparently, "Ravenswood" and not, "well, who goes to an Adam Lambert murder Halloween train party, GIRLS?" or "who actually attends a party in a graveyard."
BUT ANY EXCUSE FOR GORGEOUS GIRLS IN COSTUME!
Sweeney: Gorgeous girls in gorgeous, elaborate period costumes. TV teenagers have the best closets.
BUT ANY EXCUSE FOR GORGEOUS GIRLS IN COSTUME!
Sweeney: Gorgeous girls in gorgeous, elaborate period costumes. TV teenagers have the best closets.
We open with a slightly terrifying close-up of a ginger bloke and Rose voiceover-ing about her dad, the most wonderful man in the world. I feel like I know the ginger bloke from something, but IMDb informs me it's just One Episode of Every British Police Show Ever. (M: A+) That throws us into a flashback of Jackie showing Mini!Rose photos of her father and telling her about the day he died, how it was the same day that friends of hers got married. In the TARDIS, Rose asks the Doctor if they can go and see her father when he was still alive. The Doctor is briefly concerned and tells her "be careful what you wish for" but agrees with a grin nonetheless. He pulls some controls and the TARDIS vworp vworps.
So I'm finally guest blogging for Snark Squad. I feel accomplished. That probably tells you all you need to know about me.
I love The O.C. and on first watch, I was completely #teamryan. On a later watch, #teamseth. So when I watch now, I find myself conflicted. It's a hard place to be. I'll keep a tally as I go to see where I'm at today.
Marines: This is kind of how my Myers Briggs has shifted a little as I get older. Like that, but way more awesome.
Sweeney: It says a lot about how we're not this show's target age demographic anymore that you're contextualizing it with Myers Briggs.
I love The O.C. and on first watch, I was completely #teamryan. On a later watch, #teamseth. So when I watch now, I find myself conflicted. It's a hard place to be. I'll keep a tally as I go to see where I'm at today.
Marines: This is kind of how my Myers Briggs has shifted a little as I get older. Like that, but way more awesome.
Sweeney: It says a lot about how we're not this show's target age demographic anymore that you're contextualizing it with Myers Briggs.
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