Wallace heads inside, not too long after Stalker Cop approached him with the whole, "I am your father," deal. Wallace is clearly distraught. Alicia is happily serving dinner and her first clue that something is wrong is that Wallace says he isn't hungry. He just met a man in the driveway. A man from Chicago. He angrily asks who they buried in Cleveland and who he cried over for so many days. Alicia says that was his father but Wallace doesn't get how having two fathers works out. Wallace storms away but Alicia follows.
In the living room, she explains: she married Nathan Woods (Stalker Cop) when she was 21 years old. He started off as a narcotics detective but he went so deep undercover that things got bad.
It’s morning at the Cohen house. Sandy is fetching himself some juice when he gets shot in the face with a foam dart. The shooter is Kirsten, and shooting him in the face was her way of wishing him a happy Valentine’s Day. Sandy is unimpressed, not only because he just took a dart to the face before he’d even got his breakfast, but also because Valentine’s day isn’t actually until tomorrow.
Sweeney: That before breakfast is serious. Don't fucking talk to me, let alone SHOOT DARTS AT MY FACE before I've had breakfast.
Lorraine: I've never seen Kirsten this excited. Maybe about wine that one time she was drunk, but that was less excited and more, well, drunk.
Sweeney: That before breakfast is serious. Don't fucking talk to me, let alone SHOOT DARTS AT MY FACE before I've had breakfast.
Lorraine: I've never seen Kirsten this excited. Maybe about wine that one time she was drunk, but that was less excited and more, well, drunk.
August was a crazy month (we tend to only have crazy months). After writing our TYMK post from Paris (!!!) we continued to drink lots of wine and have lots of fun for another 10 days. Then, sadly, we had to make our way back home and can we just say that neither of us are big fans? Leaving Paris, Sweeney and Harley was the saddest and I can honestly say that I've spent the last three weeks very frequently wishing it was vacation time again. Vacation all the days, all the time, always.
Sweeney: HOW ARE WE ALREADY SO FAR FROM VACATION? On the plus side, I can watch all the videos of us and, you know, cry into some chocolate or something.
Sweeney: HOW ARE WE ALREADY SO FAR FROM VACATION? On the plus side, I can watch all the videos of us and, you know, cry into some chocolate or something.
This episode begins shortly after the last, with Emily arriving to hear Spencer's big secret. Hanna's not answering her calls, so Spencer has to confess without her: Toby is A.
Marin Manor. Ashley and Hanna return and Ashley wants to call the hospital and the cops, which would have been good ideas a while ago, before she went to get her child to help her with her crime. Hanna explains that now that she's left the scene of an accident and all, she should just not call the cops. Ashley continues to let her child be the grown up and agrees, but only so long as Hanna promises not to tell her friends about this.
Marin Manor. Ashley and Hanna return and Ashley wants to call the hospital and the cops, which would have been good ideas a while ago, before she went to get her child to help her with her crime. Hanna explains that now that she's left the scene of an accident and all, she should just not call the cops. Ashley continues to let her child be the grown up and agrees, but only so long as Hanna promises not to tell her friends about this.
Veronica, looking a lot more shaken than normal, is at Mars Investigations (doubling as Mars for Sheriff HQ!) calling the hospital to find out Meg's visiting hours. As she hangs up, an Elle Woods wannabe (D: It's funny because it's literally Laura Bell Bundy from the Legally Blonde musical) (S: AMAZING.) struts into the office in desperate need of a detective to investigate her boyfriend and possible fiance because she found a ring while doing her own snooping. Keith isn't there, but Veronica goes ahead and sells her on hardcore investigative packages. (L: Future Business Leader of America shots!) Keith arrives as she's leaving and is pleasant, but reminds Veronica that she's no longer his employee.
I just want to start this with their “Previously on The OC” intro simply for… FANTASTIC curtain hair, oh god early 2000’s everywhere. You’d have thought they would have gotten over this by now but NOPE, not in the OC. Also I have come into this having not seen a single episode since the first run just so I can be vague about everything I see in the next 40 minutes... and now on to the show!
Ryan is sitting in his super large pool house, you know the one that is roughly the size of my whole house, reading a book. It could be manga, it could be some sort of school book, I’m not sure; let's just assume it's not important to the plot of this episode and move on.
Ryan is sitting in his super large pool house, you know the one that is roughly the size of my whole house, reading a book. It could be manga, it could be some sort of school book, I’m not sure; let's just assume it's not important to the plot of this episode and move on.
Rosewood's One Coffee Shop, after-hours because there is no one around. It's the same day as the last episode so the beginning exposition ("Any word from Jason while we've been together this entire time?") is especially clunky. Emily has not heard anything from Jason. Hanna wonders if now that the whole National Adolescent Terrorization Club is out of Rosewood, A will retire. Spencer gives the appropriately jaded, "YEAH RIGHT." response.
Emily redirects the conversation over to Cece lying to them about knowing Wilden. The girls wonder if maybe she's Red Coat. Spencer is distracted by an incoming text message. Aria asks her what she thinks and she's all, "maybe Cece is Red Coat!" Aria tells her to pay attention.
Emily redirects the conversation over to Cece lying to them about knowing Wilden. The girls wonder if maybe she's Red Coat. Spencer is distracted by an incoming text message. Aria asks her what she thinks and she's all, "maybe Cece is Red Coat!" Aria tells her to pay attention.
We begin with a Veronica Voice-Over about the magic of senior year. Tis the season of college applications, so Veronica needs to pad her resume with a non-crime-solving-related activity. I'm not sure why - the crime-solving thing would probably look way more attractive to an admissions officer than the stupid FBLA. But that doesn't get us anywhere, plot-wise, so welcome to the Future Business Leaders of America, Veronica Mars!
Lorraine: I mean, the crime-solving thing did get us plenty of places plot-wise, but we need to get a little creative these days. New reasons to solve crime everyone: extra-curricular activities.
Lorraine: I mean, the crime-solving thing did get us plenty of places plot-wise, but we need to get a little creative these days. New reasons to solve crime everyone: extra-curricular activities.
Open to Seth and Ryan walking across campus. Ryan is going on about his mistrust of Oliver. This is totally valid because with my limited knowledge it seems to me that Oliver is bat-shit crazy. (I should probably mention that I missed this show entirely so I'm almost completely a Snow). Seth is trying to be comforting but is also being Seth, whose fall back position is sarcastic and nerdy. I have to say so far my favorite thing about this show is the relationship between Ryan and Seth. They offset each other well and it does my heart good to see them fall into this friendship.
So Ryan is still going on about Oliver and says he and Marissa are fighting a lot about him. Seth states Ryan is jealous because Oliver is a rich kid with many exotic locations to whisk women off to. He also uses the phrase "Dapper Don" (really, Seth?) and all I can think of is this even though I have never watched Mad Men:
In a nutshell: Twin teenagers Noah and Jude used to be inseparable, but a series of events drive them apart. Each sibling only has half the story, though, and they need to find their way back to each other to put things back together.
We Judge Covers: This cover tells you very little about the book, but it's super fun. Definitely something I'd at least pick up in the book store, knowing nothing else about it. A+ work, marketing folks.
Main Character: There are two, though I think Jude got a little more time than Noah. The story jumps a little in the timeline - Noah begins the story when they're 13 and Jude begins when they're 16.
We Judge Covers: This cover tells you very little about the book, but it's super fun. Definitely something I'd at least pick up in the book store, knowing nothing else about it. A+ work, marketing folks.
Main Character: There are two, though I think Jude got a little more time than Noah. The story jumps a little in the timeline - Noah begins the story when they're 13 and Jude begins when they're 16.
At Rosewood High School for Nervous Breakdowns, Emily, Aria, and Hanna are freaking out because Spencer Hastings is no longer showing up for school. Hanna's less concerned, though, because she figures that Spencer's just hurting and lashing out and needs to work through her pain.
Emily resolves to comfort her and share the I Dreamed A Dream of Girls in Red Coats news, because this plot is now being openly fueled by stress dreams. Hanna supports this by saying she maybe also imagined a Blonde in Red Coat at her fake job interview.
Emily resolves to comfort her and share the I Dreamed A Dream of Girls in Red Coats news, because this plot is now being openly fueled by stress dreams. Hanna supports this by saying she maybe also imagined a Blonde in Red Coat at her fake job interview.
Lorraine: Veronica is looking very intensely at a display of dessert. Veronica Voice Over asks us, "if a school bus traveling 40 miles per hour drives off a cliff and plunges 90 feet into the jagged coastline, how many seconds do the six high-school students, their teacher and bus driver have to contemplate the fact that they're about to die?" No wonder V's serving some pie and she can't even look happy about pie. Those are some morbid thoughts.
Sweeney: This is the brain space of Veronica Mars we're talking about here.
Sweeney: This is the brain space of Veronica Mars we're talking about here.
I'm going to try to prevent myself from flailing all over this post. Let me just get this out of my system. THE O.C!! I'M SNARKING AN EPISODE OF THE O.C.!! SETH COHEN!! Ahem.
Lorraine: I like your method of getting it all out on the front end. Already off to a good start.
Ashlea: The episode opens at the I'm-Not-Really-A-Bachelor-Yet Pad of Jimmy Cooper, with Marissa skipping down the stairs to open the door for the smarmy douchebag, Oliver. He pulls the pity-me card and asks to come in. Of course Marissa lets him, because she's SO troubled and tortured and her soul resonates with his or some such crap. Really it's because she's not the brightest bulb in the lamp. Yes, I am a card-carrying member of the I-Hate-Marissa-Cooper Club. (L: Not there yet? Keep watching this episode.)
Lorraine: I like your method of getting it all out on the front end. Already off to a good start.
Ashlea: The episode opens at the I'm-Not-Really-A-Bachelor-Yet Pad of Jimmy Cooper, with Marissa skipping down the stairs to open the door for the smarmy douchebag, Oliver. He pulls the pity-me card and asks to come in. Of course Marissa lets him, because she's SO troubled and tortured and her soul resonates with his or some such crap. Really it's because she's not the brightest bulb in the lamp. Yes, I am a card-carrying member of the I-Hate-Marissa-Cooper Club. (L: Not there yet? Keep watching this episode.)
We start at that restaurant where Carrie Bishop worked. Veronica is now the hostess, and she opens her monologue just shy of a title star: "Normal - that's the watchword." I'm feeling the generous glow of a new season and am willing to go ahead and give her that gold star anyway:
Lorraine: Does this extend into real life? Should people start asking favors of you while you bask in the new season glow? I'm asking for a friend.
Democracy Diva: Unrelated, but I am wary of a season that begins with our badass blonde heroine working in the food service industry. It did not go well for Buffy.
Lorraine: Does this extend into real life? Should people start asking favors of you while you bask in the new season glow? I'm asking for a friend.
Democracy Diva: Unrelated, but I am wary of a season that begins with our badass blonde heroine working in the food service industry. It did not go well for Buffy.
At Rosewood's One Coffee Shop For Girls Who Need to Learn About Sleeping In, the girls are sitting on the couch that they seem to always commandeer as Aria tells them that Ezra sent an, "I'm here" text but otherwise, hasn't communicated with her. I guess he's too busy meeting his child to text his child-girlfriend. Spencer is still acting all shifty and excuses herself to get a coffee refill, leaving the rest of the Liars to discuss whether or not Detective Wilden has already read the Biology Cluebook, meaning he knows what they know. Which is what we know and translates to, "three seasons of very, very little." Something like that.
Sweeney: In the years of working on this blog, I've learned that a lot of people are making very good money by taking things they've already written (or that someone else already wrote) and basically throwing a thesaurus at the situation in order to come out with a "new" thing, for which they can be paid again.
Sweeney: In the years of working on this blog, I've learned that a lot of people are making very good money by taking things they've already written (or that someone else already wrote) and basically throwing a thesaurus at the situation in order to come out with a "new" thing, for which they can be paid again.
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