After the previouslies, we start off with a shot of the Cohen car filled with food. Sandy “Eyebrows” Cohen makes a crack about feeding Kirsten's dad to get his love, and while that probably won't work on Mr. Evil Corporate man, that would definitely work on me. Just sayin'. (S: Cosign.)(L: And another +1 makes it a party.)
Kirsten's dad (Caleb) enters and cheerfully calls himself the devil so we don't have to. Outside, Seth and Ryan talk about Caleb, and how he's Mr. Big Money. Seth points out that he, like Ryan, came from humble beginnings and they'd probably hit it off.
Neptune High Parking Lot. Veronica's car has stopped and lots of people are honking at her and generally being shit waffles because they SEE Veronica is having issues, so why honk? Logan and his Brogans are casually passing by, in "making jokes about poor people" distance. Logan is carving up an apple and Veronica grabs his knife all while brushing off their subpar insults.
Sweeney: 1430s all around for your Logan and his Brogans and for Veronica's delightful snark.
Democracy Diva: I was also going to give Lor a 1430 for "Logan and his Brogans," so congrats, you get a 2860!
Sweeney: 1430s all around for your Logan and his Brogans and for Veronica's delightful snark.
Democracy Diva: I was also going to give Lor a 1430 for "Logan and his Brogans," so congrats, you get a 2860!
This show ended up taking Sweeney and I by surprise for a reason that's unique to our experience: it's a pain in the ass to recap. Part of what intrigues me about the whole Snark Squad project has a lot to do with the material we pick and cover and how it lends itself to scrutiny. It's hard to tell what a recapping experience will be like before we get a few posts under our belts. Anyway, the point is that this is better than average material that just takes SO. LONG. to cover. I'll go into the construction of this season a little more at the end, but there was never an easy way to recap one of these episodes. It was always a many, many hour ordeal.
Which also (partly) explains why this is so late.
Which also (partly) explains why this is so late.
We open with Ryan and my boyfriend Seth Cohen (Just to be clear, I just want Seth, aint even 'bout to homewreck the first couple of teen fandom: Adam Brody/Leighton Meester) in true show-set-in-California style, riding a bike and skateboard (adorably) down a boardwalk with flashes to random dudes playing beach volleyball to further indicate being in a coastal town in SoCal.
Sweeney: The best part of having different recappers write their posts, mostly without ever seeing the posts that came before them is going to be seeing how many people stake their claim on Seth Cohen. Since you're my sister I feel especially obligated to interject with a, "HE WAS MY TV BOYFRIEND FIRST!" even though I've accepted that he's actually everyone's TV boyfriend.
Sweeney: The best part of having different recappers write their posts, mostly without ever seeing the posts that came before them is going to be seeing how many people stake their claim on Seth Cohen. Since you're my sister I feel especially obligated to interject with a, "HE WAS MY TV BOYFRIEND FIRST!" even though I've accepted that he's actually everyone's TV boyfriend.
After a lot of previouslies we open with Seth and Ryan playing video games. Ryan has mastered the art and is beating Seth. The student has become the master so to say. Just then, the Cohen parents walk in, wanting to talk to Ryan. The suspense is killing all of us, I know, right?! Like, what could this possibly be about? Seth is being his weird self, mentioning something about the rug which I have no idea whether it will be necessary information or is just a stupid throwaway comment. Moving on.
The Cohens inform Ryan that they went to CPS today and they want him to stay with them. I told you this was going to be exceptionally unexpected news, ahem. The Cohen's only concern is that they will need to have signed over all of Ryan's legal rights.
The Cohens inform Ryan that they went to CPS today and they want him to stay with them. I told you this was going to be exceptionally unexpected news, ahem. The Cohen's only concern is that they will need to have signed over all of Ryan's legal rights.
We begin in the Mars Investigations Offices with Veronica tutoring Weevil in math. This scene not only gives us some adorable Veronica/Weevil time but also reminds us that the gang leader with the heart of gold is not only sweeter than he lets on, but smarter than the school system gives him credit for. He dismisses a word problem he doesn't want to answer by giving Bob the fictional Word Problem Guy some financial advice. I'm overselling this - that advice was basically, "Illegal stuff makes a lot of money!"
Lorraine: Because the gang leader with a heart of gold is also poor. So, you know.
Lorraine: Because the gang leader with a heart of gold is also poor. So, you know.
Hello, Snark Nation! It's a pleasure to be covering this episode of The O.C., one of my all-time favorite guilty pleasure shows. I had pictures of Seth Cohen on my wall and the show's soundtracks playing on a constant loop throughout my high school career, so I feel qualified to present you with this recap.
Sweeney: A+ credentials. Also, I'm glad you mentioned the soundtracks, which were basically the best thing about this show and also a character in their own right.
Sweeney: A+ credentials. Also, I'm glad you mentioned the soundtracks, which were basically the best thing about this show and also a character in their own right.
So my first experience with The O.C. came during a very lonely summer in my life, after I'd graduated high school. See, I graduated a semester early which meant I couldn't really hang out with my high school friends anymore because it was weird but also that I couldn't make any college friends because I was the mid-semester starter and didn't know anyone. So I worked at Blockbuster every night and spent my two free rentals a week on old TV shows. This is the story of how my love affair with The O.C. started. I stayed up until 3 AM every night for weeks and missed many, many 8 AM English classes because of this shit.
Lorraine: I know this is the first recap, but I can already tell this will be my favorite, "The O.C. and me" story.
Lorraine: I know this is the first recap, but I can already tell this will be my favorite, "The O.C. and me" story.
We begin with Deputy Mumbler's tongue in Veronica's mouth. He basically asks if he can come inside the Mars apartment and have sexytimes with her, but she's like, nuh-uh. She also mentions that their age difference is 29 months, which is a few years less than I had been estimating. Are there really nineteen-year-old cops? I mean, I guess if you can be a soldier at 18, you can be a cop at 19, but I can't pretend I'm comfortable with the idea of teens in the police force.
Lorraine: Girl, sometimes I see teens serving me fries at McDonalds and I hit them with a, "are you qualified for this?" eyebrow. It's part of being an adult, right?
Lorraine: Girl, sometimes I see teens serving me fries at McDonalds and I hit them with a, "are you qualified for this?" eyebrow. It's part of being an adult, right?
After the horror of THE LATEST BAD THING, the girls sit around Montgomery Manse drinking tea and brooding with Aria. Hanna breezes in like a breath of fresh air, with her bubbly personality and bag of sick coping trashy pop culture, which is how Snark Ladies deal too.
Lorraine: Any time I'm sick, I think, "at least there's more time for TV!" #adult
Sweeney: The girls discuss whether or not Meredith Center Stage is sincere in her confusion over this latest development with Byron.
Lorraine: Any time I'm sick, I think, "at least there's more time for TV!" #adult
Sweeney: The girls discuss whether or not Meredith Center Stage is sincere in her confusion over this latest development with Byron.
Last month's TMYK was called "Plan and Flail" because we had a lot of big things coming up, but they were just far enough down the road that we weren't sure what to do about those big plans. We've discovered that in our quest to blog everything ever, we actually do have to plan things; we're losing a little room for our standard practice of making shit up as we go. There's still a lot of that, of course, but some time management is maybe sort of coming into play. We're still really, really bad at that, but we're trying!
In other words: this TMYK is kind of a big one. Lots of things ended. Lots of new things are coming up in July. I started working on this post weeks ago because I'm little-kid-on-Christmas excited to share/start all of this.
In other words: this TMYK is kind of a big one. Lots of things ended. Lots of new things are coming up in July. I started working on this post weeks ago because I'm little-kid-on-Christmas excited to share/start all of this.
Veronica is still sitting in front of her computer, reminding us that Abel Koontz has a daughter and Clarence Weidman knows she knows. V believes Jake Kane bought a dying man's confession, since his family needed a fall guy. She uses PrivateEyez.com to search for Amelia Delongpre. She needs to find Amelia before Clarence does. Her search reveals that Amelia lives in LA! LA is where all the mystical relics are always conveniently located, so I don't have a hard time believing a key witness would be there.
Sweeney: A KEY witness in the land of mystical relics? IS AMELIA DELONGPRE A KEY? IS SHE RELATED TO DAWN SUMMERS? I have so many questions.
Sweeney: A KEY witness in the land of mystical relics? IS AMELIA DELONGPRE A KEY? IS SHE RELATED TO DAWN SUMMERS? I have so many questions.
Alison returns to her garage telling Donnie that she cleaned the car. Donnie's having a much more appropriate, "What have I done?" reaction over the corpse. Alison's all business and while that's probably more productive for them not getting caught it's also an entirely terrifying quality to witness. Donnie's, "I'm going to throw up," as they wrap the body up and toss it in their extra freezer is how I assume a person who is not insane should handle hiding a corpse they murdered.
Lorraine: TRUE. We've seen how jittery and nervous Alison can be, but I'd venture to say it's generally a before/after the fact reaction. In the moment, she's going to do what needs to be done.
Sweeney: It's a fine line. I get that she's doing "what needs to be done" to protect their family now, but her callousness about it still makes me uneasy.
Lorraine: TRUE. We've seen how jittery and nervous Alison can be, but I'd venture to say it's generally a before/after the fact reaction. In the moment, she's going to do what needs to be done.
Sweeney: It's a fine line. I get that she's doing "what needs to be done" to protect their family now, but her callousness about it still makes me uneasy.
Going first is the mega worst because I'm generally left to come up with my thoughts on super short notice and I am the sort of person to obsess over whether I said the right thing and inevitably change my mind 16 more times.
That's my way of apologizing for this video and also all the videos. I need more days to think. I always need more days. Then there aren't more days and I am left to nervously stand in front of a camera thinking about the thing and then I edit the video and say, "WRONG! ALL WRONG!" but it's 2am and I have to edit it and go to bed so I can be a person the next day.
And that is my life.
That's my way of apologizing for this video and also all the videos. I need more days to think. I always need more days. Then there aren't more days and I am left to nervously stand in front of a camera thinking about the thing and then I edit the video and say, "WRONG! ALL WRONG!" but it's 2am and I have to edit it and go to bed so I can be a person the next day.
And that is my life.
Final magical/lying credits of the season take us through King's Landing, Moat Cailin, WinterfellFOREVERonfire, The Wall, across The Narrow Sea to a scary game of Mouse Trap Braavos, and finally Meereen.
We resume where we last left Jon Snow, heading north of the wall, swordless, to kill Mance. There's a lot of weird shaky cam which made me think direwolf cam but no, it's just Wildling cam. Jon surrenders immediately, explaining to Mance that he's been sent to negotiate with him.
Lorraine: I thought Jon's plan involved some amount of being sneaky. It makes sense that he left his sword, now, since his entire plan was just walking right up to the people who were trying to kill him.
We resume where we last left Jon Snow, heading north of the wall, swordless, to kill Mance. There's a lot of weird shaky cam which made me think direwolf cam but no, it's just Wildling cam. Jon surrenders immediately, explaining to Mance that he's been sent to negotiate with him.
Lorraine: I thought Jon's plan involved some amount of being sneaky. It makes sense that he left his sword, now, since his entire plan was just walking right up to the people who were trying to kill him.
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