Zoomy cameraman winds us through a warehouse as a disembodied voice monologues about the importance of trust in shady demonic business dealings. Our cameraman friend finds his way to the voice and the Shady Demonic Businessman is giving this monologue to Wesley who snarks about how he ain't got time for this shit and would like to get to the shady demonic business dealings. He waves a hand to bring in Fred who Wesley refers to as his muscle. He mostly means the gun she developed and is carrying in a case, but I appreciate it all the same. They made this gun to order, but Wesley isn't giving it to them because Shady Demonic Businessman is just a Shady Demonic Middleman.
This episode begins with Alison. She wakes up next to her sleeping, snoring husband, and goes to check her poorly hidden camera. She takes it down to her laundry room of solace to watch the tape. She sees Donnie get up in the middle of the night, but all he does is stand over her and leave before the memory card file fills up.
She comes up to the kitchen to find Donnie grumbling like an asshole about how he has to do everything (LOL, K) as he loads the dishwasher. He sasses her about getting ice because they only have three hours to go until something. Alison asks him where he went in the middle of the night - claiming she woke up to find him gone -
She comes up to the kitchen to find Donnie grumbling like an asshole about how he has to do everything (LOL, K) as he loads the dishwasher. He sasses her about getting ice because they only have three hours to go until something. Alison asks him where he went in the middle of the night - claiming she woke up to find him gone -
I had a cryfest at some point in the middle of this month, and I'm blaming it mostly on exhaustion. I'm only a little bit ashamed to admit the cryfest happened while watch The Voice. I always tear up during that show, though, because people's dreams coming true makes me emotional.
What was I saying? Oh yes, exhaustion. I've been working a crazy schedule for the past couple of months, and it's a safe bet that any lapse in posting you saw this month were either courtesy of my extended work hours or Sweeney's multiple trips.
Sweeney: There was a small possibility of leaving town this weekend and for the first time probably in forever my response was, "PLEASE NO DON'T MAKE ME."
What was I saying? Oh yes, exhaustion. I've been working a crazy schedule for the past couple of months, and it's a safe bet that any lapse in posting you saw this month were either courtesy of my extended work hours or Sweeney's multiple trips.
Sweeney: There was a small possibility of leaving town this weekend and for the first time probably in forever my response was, "PLEASE NO DON'T MAKE ME."
We open in a dirty-looking room with some of that murder lighting Helena seems to carry around with her. She's passed out and a man whose face we cannot see is cleaning up her wound. Helena stirs just in time to name this man Tomas. The camera is doing all kind of unfocused zooming in and out just so we're clear that we're in the crazy part of town.
Sweeney: The part of town where they drug our friend the Zoomy Cameraman. Not even he knows what he's trying to tell us now.
Lor: Sarah's at Beth's house, video chatting with Alison, who is nervous about the fact that Helena is still out there. Plus, Alison doesn't see how Sarah quitting Beth's job is beneficial at all.
Sweeney: The part of town where they drug our friend the Zoomy Cameraman. Not even he knows what he's trying to tell us now.
Lor: Sarah's at Beth's house, video chatting with Alison, who is nervous about the fact that Helena is still out there. Plus, Alison doesn't see how Sarah quitting Beth's job is beneficial at all.
A security guard is on his rounds in a darkened...IDK, warehouse? Factory? It looks like the back end of the brewery I used to work at, anyway. He hears a noise and reports in before going to investigate. Smart, but not smart enough, dude. (L: Right, because he is still investigating darkened basements.) He heads down a flight of stairs, accompanied by the Orchestra of Dude, You Gonna Die. He screams a little at the bottom, but only in surprise because he's face to face with the ware-facto-brewery's plumber. He reports in that everything's fine, then sees the plumber get thrown through the air. He rushes up the stairs (there's that "not smart enough" part) only to get attacked himself. Something slices at his face and he screams as we see a shadow attack him.
Lorraine: Everyone say it together: THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS.
Lorraine: Everyone say it together: THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS.
My lovely closed caption tells me we are starting this episode with "disco woman vocalizing." Lorne is strutting down the hallways of Wolfram & Hart trying to sell The Grapes of Wrath in space to someone named Jerry. He hangs up that call and his assistant hands him another cell phone. Lorne tells this person that Big B (Jerry Bruckheimer then, yeah?) (K: YUP.) wants to know more details. He keeps up the showbiz talk until he finally makes it to Harmony's desk, greeting her warmly and complimenting her dress and hair. She does look lovely in pink.
Sweeney: I adore the fact that a Lorne/Harmony friendship is clearly a thing. I'm already completely sold on this episode.
Sweeney: I adore the fact that a Lorne/Harmony friendship is clearly a thing. I'm already completely sold on this episode.
FIRST THINGS FIRST: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARA. Apparently her co-workers are not showering her with candy and permission to not do anything today, which is stupid, so everyone else should shower her with internet high fives and the like.
The episode begins with somber music and a zoomy tour through the inter-workings of Firefly. It's giving me all sorts of "THIS IS THE LAST EPISODE! WHY?" feelings. The zoomy tour ends on River's face waking up. She goes out into the hall where she hears Simon and Kaylee laughing as he tells her a story of a med school streaking prank. As Kaylee asks what song he was singing he looks up at River and says, "I would be there right now," coldly, before resuming the laughter, making me think (hope?) this is more a River fear (/intuiton) than a thing that actually happened.
The episode begins with somber music and a zoomy tour through the inter-workings of Firefly. It's giving me all sorts of "THIS IS THE LAST EPISODE! WHY?" feelings. The zoomy tour ends on River's face waking up. She goes out into the hall where she hears Simon and Kaylee laughing as he tells her a story of a med school streaking prank. As Kaylee asks what song he was singing he looks up at River and says, "I would be there right now," coldly, before resuming the laughter, making me think (hope?) this is more a River fear (/intuiton) than a thing that actually happened.
Crazy Clone is in a bathroom somewhere, bandaging the wounds from Sarah stabbing her. There's a lot of blood and close-ups to give you that extra crazy vibe as Crazy Clone repeats, "I'm not Beth," over and over.
A child comes downstairs and steps in the trail of Crazy Clone's blood. SO UNHYGENIC. He opens the bathroom door because he's a stupid child and doesn't yet know to run far far away from the trail of blood. Crazy Clone motions to be quiet and ushers him into the bathroom with her.
A child comes downstairs and steps in the trail of Crazy Clone's blood. SO UNHYGENIC. He opens the bathroom door because he's a stupid child and doesn't yet know to run far far away from the trail of blood. Crazy Clone motions to be quiet and ushers him into the bathroom with her.
While this blog changes my opinions of everything and also I find it challenging to rank episodes because I love every episode in this season, I flailed a little when I first realized this one was mine and I've gotten pumped about it every time since. Fingers crossed that it's as glorious as I remember.
We open on Veronica and Keith decorating the tree. Veronica laments that as an only child she knows all the scary handmade ornaments are hers. She singles out a popsicle stick reindeer as particularly concerning. My little brother made one just like that in preschool and we have made fun of it while decorating for the last five or six years.
We open on Veronica and Keith decorating the tree. Veronica laments that as an only child she knows all the scary handmade ornaments are hers. She singles out a popsicle stick reindeer as particularly concerning. My little brother made one just like that in preschool and we have made fun of it while decorating for the last five or six years.
Rosewood's One Coffee Shop. Aria wants Spencer to look at a picture she found on Maya's website. It's a picture of a stamp on Maya's wrist and it's the same stamp Holden had on his wrist when Emily inexplicably ran into him at the church party. Aria thinks this is a huge clue and is confused by Spencer's lack of interest. Spencer explains that she can't Nancy Drew shit anymore. Only five days ago, she forgot to apply to college. Aria clarifies that it was only an early admissions deadline, but this is Spencer Hastings we're talking about. Aria tries to tell her that everything will be okay but (1) - Aria's wearing a skeleton crop top on top of some sort of gold lame tank top so no one can take her seriously and (2) - Spencer recently got a B on homework so her world is falling apart.
Sweeney: LOL, it's fun that this show tries to pretend they can possibly be going to school, what with all their 4am coffee dates midnight asylum break-ins.
Sweeney: LOL, it's fun that this show tries to pretend they can possibly be going to school, what with all their 4am coffee dates midnight asylum break-ins.
Beauty Queens by Libba Bray Release Date: June 1, 2012 Source: Purchased Order: Amazon || Powell’s In a nutshell: In the not-to-distant future, The Corporation runs everything and an airplane full...
Wolfram & Hart. Late at night. The soundtrack from my 5th grade haunted house follows Fred around as she says goodnight to people and closes up Evil Radio Shack for the night. She turns around and then sees Spike and fake screams, dropping her papers. He appreciates her efforts to humor his evil-but-not ego. His I'm-not-evil-but-I-still-want-to-be-a-badass ego? IDK. Anyway, Fred says he needn't worry about any of that because he's a super special ghost. She's pretty sure she can help him, too, but obviously she can't help him without flaring up the Angel/Spike rivalry.
Pause: I get that for those of you have spent years with this show and written all the fic and whatnot, the tension in their relationship is a big huge deal.
Pause: I get that for those of you have spent years with this show and written all the fic and whatnot, the tension in their relationship is a big huge deal.
Sarah is where we last left her-- sitting in Alison's basement, explaining to her two-twins that she never met her birth parents. She was adopted at 8 and came to live "here" at 12. The show is shot in Canada, but I'm now realizing that I have no idea where it's supposed to take place. Internet says possibly Hamden, Connecticut. Huh.
Sweeney: Really? Weird. She mentions that Alison lives in Scarborough, a suburb of the city where she resides. I don't know enough about Canada, but according to Google maps, that could be a suburb of Toronto. Canadians, please explain.
Sweeney: Really? Weird. She mentions that Alison lives in Scarborough, a suburb of the city where she resides. I don't know enough about Canada, but according to Google maps, that could be a suburb of Toronto. Canadians, please explain.
The episode begins where the last episode ended. Sarah pulls over to answer the pink phone. A girl on the other end of the line is annoyed that Beth was MIA for so long (and it's going to be a whole lot longer still, girl). Sarah is freaking out as she answers that she did meet "the German" and then watched her get shot right in front of her. Just to kick this off with Tatiana Maslany flail: her voice is sort of stilted right now because, of course, Sarah's having a hard time processing and focusing on the accent. I wrote that about two seconds before Sarah does, in fact, slip as the girl on the other end of the line confirms that it means that someone is definitely trying to kill them off. Phone!Girl tells Sarah!Beth that she needs to dispose of the body and collect hair and blood samples.
The camera pans across a bunch of fancy cars and one fancy motorbike. Fred's voice from offscreen tells us that Angel's idea for a picnic was excellent. But her tone changes to one of relief as she finishes scanning Wesley for bugs and declares them all to be free from listening devices. Gunn says it's weird to be acting this way, but Angel assures them that it's necessary as there are tons of employees who want them dead. Man, that's a fun company they've taken over! Fred defends their new coworkers, and Wes snaps that maybe Whedon Hat Trick isn't as trustworthy as she thinks. Fred gives him major side-eye while saying that she knows WHT isn't evil.
Sweeney: Jealousy is an ugly look on everyone. I fear it's going to be worn a bit too much this season.
Sweeney: Jealousy is an ugly look on everyone. I fear it's going to be worn a bit too much this season.
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