We open at the close of the previous episode, with Veronica sobbing in her car. She's trying to deal with the news that Jake Kane is her real father, and worse, that Duncan is her - - *pause for an out-the-car-door puke* -- half-brother.
Sweeney: I love that they split this. Dealing with the emotional blow of the news at the close of the one episode and freeing Veronica up for the internal game of twenty questions and pull over vomit at the open of the second, giving each set of reactions the distinct weight they deserve.
Diva: Amen. Veronica decides she wants to take down Jake Kane, hard.
It's the morning after the last episode, and the girls are sitting around Maya's website, discussing what Mona's motives could have been. Hanna thinks she's just trying to help the Liars, but Spencer is like, the fuck she's trying to help. Aria interjects that whether the website is fake or not, they still need to get the password and see what's on it.
Emily enternounces that she just got a call from Cousin Nate, and they're going to be hiking up to Maya's favorite place, the old boat house, later that day. Girl, have you checked for ID yet? (L: Of course not, Sara. Of course not.)
Emily enternounces that she just got a call from Cousin Nate, and they're going to be hiking up to Maya's favorite place, the old boat house, later that day. Girl, have you checked for ID yet? (L: Of course not, Sara. Of course not.)
I first suggested that we cover the original Buffy movie way back in August 2012, not long after we started covering Buffy. Somehow, it ended up as a "this would be a good way to finish things" idea, and then with the birth of #snarkathon in December it became a "watch it alone-together with the Traumateers" thing. Aww.
Anyway, let's get to the movie, shall we?
We open in Dark Ages Europe, where we're given approximately two seconds of Slayer backstory - one girl in all the world, yada yada yada, she has a creepy birthmark on her chest known as "The Mark of the Coven".
Anyway, let's get to the movie, shall we?
We open in Dark Ages Europe, where we're given approximately two seconds of Slayer backstory - one girl in all the world, yada yada yada, she has a creepy birthmark on her chest known as "The Mark of the Coven".
A title card tells us we're going back to Sunnydale California, nineteen days earlier, and I already know it's going to be a sick joke in which we travel back solely to see how Spike got trapped in a glitter tornado. Sure enough, we find ourselves back in the Hellmouth, Spike all aglow in his magical, world saving, orange light.
Kirsti: Out of context, that scene just looks insane.
Sweeney: I didn't think about that, but you're right. I know we have a few Angel-before-Buffy watchers and I am deeply curious to hear how this came across to you without watching Buffy.
Kirsti: Out of context, that scene just looks insane.
Sweeney: I didn't think about that, but you're right. I know we have a few Angel-before-Buffy watchers and I am deeply curious to hear how this came across to you without watching Buffy.
Veronica is examining the photos of Lilly's shoes in her bedroom and then Lilly's shoes in the evidence bag. She voice-overs that only one person can help her make sense of them, and only one person can help her get to that one person. In walks Cliff McCormack, who Veronica immediately starts schmoozing. Cliff asks if she's trying to sell him a raffle ticket. I suddenly remember loving Cliff. That's right, right? Cliff is awesome?
Democracy Diva: Cliff is awesome. He mentions that he failed criminal law, so there's hope for me as a lawyer yet!
Sweeney: A lawyer with tawdry clients like Loretta Cancun!
Democracy Diva: Cliff is awesome. He mentions that he failed criminal law, so there's hope for me as a lawyer yet!
Sweeney: A lawyer with tawdry clients like Loretta Cancun!
The previouslies give us a major Mona update, including the usually-wrong Liars assuring Aria that Mona's totally locked up for good. That combined with the episode title has me keeping my fingers crossed that our favorite lunatic rejoins the outside world, just to keep the non-plot interesting.
Sara: Mona totally is my favorite lunatic. And there are a lot of lunatics in Traumaland, so saying Mona is my favorite actually counts for a lot.
Lorraine: Something tells me we should open this up to a vote at the end of the year in the Traumaland Awards. Our lunatics should definitely know where they stand.
Sara: Mona totally is my favorite lunatic. And there are a lot of lunatics in Traumaland, so saying Mona is my favorite actually counts for a lot.
Lorraine: Something tells me we should open this up to a vote at the end of the year in the Traumaland Awards. Our lunatics should definitely know where they stand.
This pilot has already won me over because the episode has a name. I don't like it when pilots are titled, "Pilot."
Sweeney: Same. It also makes it really hard to make the first thumbnail because you just know most episode titles are going to be way longer. HOORAY FOR PILOT EPISODES NOT NAMED PILOT!
Lor: Enthusiasm for the episode title aside, this pilot has also won me over because I've seen all 10 episodes of season 1 already. So has Sweeney. There are no Snows here, but as always, we'll keep the recaps spoiler free. We're cool that way. On to the episode.
Sweeney: Same. It also makes it really hard to make the first thumbnail because you just know most episode titles are going to be way longer. HOORAY FOR PILOT EPISODES NOT NAMED PILOT!
Lor: Enthusiasm for the episode title aside, this pilot has also won me over because I've seen all 10 episodes of season 1 already. So has Sweeney. There are no Snows here, but as always, we'll keep the recaps spoiler free. We're cool that way. On to the episode.
First of all, you should know that I'm writing this while watching The Oscars, so I think you should all play your very own Snark Squad Drinking Game of, "Spot the recap's many inaccuracies." It'll be fun. I promise. Maybe.
Kirsti: It won't be fun at all, because Kirsti The Eternally Anal Retentive will have fixed them all. But sure. Fun.
Lorraine: Well, that ruins the game before it started. Okay, guys. I guess you should now all be playing, "drink whenever you spot a place where an inaccuracy may have been!" HAPPY DRINKING.
Kirsti: It won't be fun at all, because Kirsti The Eternally Anal Retentive will have fixed them all. But sure. Fun.
Lorraine: Well, that ruins the game before it started. Okay, guys. I guess you should now all be playing, "drink whenever you spot a place where an inaccuracy may have been!" HAPPY DRINKING.
Dusty planet. Two people are hanging up some laundry when they notice five men on horseback and a hovercraft of some sort approaching. The girl calls out to "Nandi" and from within the house covered in tin foil, Julie Cooper exits. You may recognize her from any number of other things, including The Vampire Diaries, Entourage or Nakita. You might even know her name is Melinda Clarke. But, like, Julie Cooper.
Sweeney: JULIE COOPER!!
Sara: I KNEW I KNEW HER!
Sweeney: JULIE COOPER!!
Sara: I KNEW I KNEW HER!
Now this is actually it, for me at least. It's weird to think that this is the last time - in the foreseeable future - that I will be starting a Buffy post. I know I've gotten to about five rounds of THE END! nostalgia, but now it's actually it. As such, this video is basically about how this show gives me all the feelings. It's where we first declared our allegiance to Team Feels and that's something of a subtitle to this video. "Fucking Brilliant, or TEAM FEELS FOREVER."
Again, thank you all for watching and commenting this show with us. It has been a lot of fun and you all helped make that the case. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Again, thank you all for watching and commenting this show with us. It has been a lot of fun and you all helped make that the case. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
So this is it. THE END. Except the PARTY'S NOT OVER! Because we have to rank some stuff and delay feelings because AAAH WE FINISHED A THING. Coherent sentences. Like Kirsti, I wrote a whole other thing on my personal blog about my many complicated feelings about the end of blogging this show. Blogging about blogging.
As for the list. Rankings are always so stressful for me because the things that I like and dislike about each episode isn't uniform. There are things that make me hate one episode but which I overlook in another.
As for the list. Rankings are always so stressful for me because the things that I like and dislike about each episode isn't uniform. There are things that make me hate one episode but which I overlook in another.
Night time. Police and ambulance surround Veronica's apartment building. I know our schedule hasn't been super consistent, but you may remember that we were just discussing the way that this show is self-aware of and addresses Veronica's meddling. She begins this episode by asking that very question. Would tonight have been another dull night in the apartment complex if she hadn't met this girl and gotten involved? Her reverie is interrupted by paramedics trying to wheel a body past her. "Is it my fault a horrible crime played out its final chapter here, or is what happened inevitable?" She looks across the courtyard at Papa Mars.
COME ON NOW, SUGAR!
A title screen tells us that we're jumping back a week. Veronica's carrying clothes down to the apartment complex laundry room. The place has a nice ocean view, which it makes it seem like it's maybe not that Poor Kid Central.
COME ON NOW, SUGAR!
A title screen tells us that we're jumping back a week. Veronica's carrying clothes down to the apartment complex laundry room. The place has a nice ocean view, which it makes it seem like it's maybe not that Poor Kid Central.
Hanna stomps through the Rosewood Hospital looking for room 312. Spencer tries to slow her down and talk her through a plan. They are going to replace the note in Garrett's Mom's room with a fake note, meant to lead whoever Garret is working with to a location where the Liars will be waiting. Spencer knows all that part of the plan, but points out that they should probably pick out a location before stomping into the coma room. Hanna quickly picks the church. Apparently, the girls assume that whoever Garrett is trying to communicate with on the outside is also A. And Spencer is assuming that Lucas is A, because he doesn't take showers. Or because they found those pills used to drug Emily amongst his things. Probably both.
Sweeney: Why are they finalizing this plan at the hospital?
Sweeney: Why are they finalizing this plan at the hospital?
We figured we'd give this its own post, mostly so you all could also rank with us in the comments.
I feel like I'm going to put this order up, wake up tomorrow and feel differently. Seasons are made up of so many moving parts, that ranking this way is difficult. I think I'm stalling now. OKAY. OKAY. Here we go:
I feel like I'm going to put this order up, wake up tomorrow and feel differently. Seasons are made up of so many moving parts, that ranking this way is difficult. I think I'm stalling now. OKAY. OKAY. Here we go:
- Season 5 - When season 5 took first place in my eyes, it surprised me.
Lorraine: We started ranking the episodes after season two, meaning we never got around to doing this little project for season 1. It was quickly decided that we would circle...
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