We jump back in time to that moment in London where Giles is about to get his head chopped off by a Rage Ninja. This time, we see the whole scene through: Giles grabs the axe like a, well, ninja and uses it to cut the Bringer's head off. In the present, Giles is telling this story to Buffy and the Potentials as they walk through a cemetery. This group includes a new Potential named Chao-Ahn. He's going on and on about how it was a mix of luck, years and years of training and an uncanny sense, so you just know something is about to catch him off guard.
Sweeney: It's season 7 people. You should all have learned your lesson about self-assured speech-giving by now.
The episode starts looking out at a shed, in a shot very similar to the Pilot. It's five months after the events of the season two finale and the close of summer break. In the clunky way we've come to know and love to make fun of, the girls recap their summers: Aria beat out thousands of applicants for a photography course (S: LOL. Have we ever once seen Aria take a picture?); Spencer took a full load of classes at Hollis College of Pottery and Pedophiles; Emily built houses for the less fortunate; Hanna had a to-do list which she kind of completed.
Sweeney: I feel you, girl. Except, you know, I actually took all those jobs where I worked for free.
Sweeney: I feel you, girl. Except, you know, I actually took all those jobs where I worked for free.
Angelus is strolling the halls of Brooding HQ, and is bummed when he finds Lilah's corpse, because that's less fun. He feeds on her anyway, and is still feeding when Wes and Gunn round the corner. Gunn throws his weapon with terrible aim, given the range. Angelus drops Lilah and flees through the window. Wes's face falls when he takes in the sight of dead Lilah.
Gunn goes back to the lobby where the others are tending to a wound in Cordelia's leg. Gunn informs them that Lilah's dead. Cordelia gets shifty eyes and ominously announces that it's started. Electric Cellos.
Gunn goes back to the lobby where the others are tending to a wound in Cordelia's leg. Gunn informs them that Lilah's dead. Cordelia gets shifty eyes and ominously announces that it's started. Electric Cellos.
The previouslies remind us of Warren murdering Tara and the flaying, so that's SUPER promising. Giles is heading off to the desert to take the Potentials on Vision Quest, fretting about whether or not Buffy will be all right, Buffy jokes that they've managed longer than that -- you know when he ABANDONED THEM. The rest of the Scoobies strut in and out of the scene to talk about making marshmallows, the fact that the girls are fighting over who gets to drive since Giles doesn't have a valid license, and let Giles know that Molly is locked in the trunk. Good times.
Kirsti: My favourite thing about this scene is Giles berating Buffy for what she told the Potentials about the Vision Quest:
Kirsti: My favourite thing about this scene is Giles berating Buffy for what she told the Potentials about the Vision Quest:
Sweeney: Veronica welcomes us back to Neptune by face nomming Troy outside her door at the end of a date. Before leaving he nonchalantly mentions homecoming, but in a we're-too-cool-for-homecoming kind of way. Veronica goes inside and asks Keith what he thought of Troy - asking if he ran Troy's license plates. Keith plays it cool, insisting that he has no idea what is inspiring this line of questioning, waiting until she's almost in her room to drop the, "It's time for me to meet this boy," bomb. Veronica resists, but loses this battle.
Lorraine: I love that his sticking point is that that Troy is cutting into daddy-daughter time, and they don't do things together anymore. A PARENT! WHO WANTS TO SPEND TIME WITH HIS CHILD!
Lorraine: I love that his sticking point is that that Troy is cutting into daddy-daughter time, and they don't do things together anymore. A PARENT! WHO WANTS TO SPEND TIME WITH HIS CHILD!
We open in the Shaman Dungeon. Just as a couple of episodes ago, there's the sound of fighting, then the guard comes flying through the door and lands unconscious on the floor. Wes, Cordy and Connor walk in and start throwing accusations around. The shaman informs them that he has no need for a soul in a jar, and that he has no idea where it might be. Cordy demands that he switch to his re-ensouling Plan B, but there is no Plan B. Connor asks what happens if the soul gets out of its bottle, and the shaman says that it can be either returned or destroyed.
Lorraine: The Gang should've really asked about the unsouling fine print before this point.
Lorraine: The Gang should've really asked about the unsouling fine print before this point.
After approximately a million years worth of previouslies, we're in the cemetery at night. Rona and Vi wander around looking nervous, stakes in hand. They hear a rustling noise behind them and are jumped by Spike. He goes to bite Vi, then stops as the camera pulls back to reveal Buffy and the other Potentials conducting a training exercise. Rona complains that it's never going to be a fair fight, because she doesn't have Slayer strength, and Buffy informs them that while they may not have that, they're still strong. It would be a nice "YAY GIRL POWER!" speech if it didn't continue with her saying that they're strong because they have abilities that other, non-potential-slayer girls don't have. Sigh. On the plus side, she tells them that they have the potential, thereby earning herself a gold star. It's been aaaaaaaaaaaaages since Buffy had one, so wheeeeee:
You could think of this post as late, or you could think of it is as a nice little reminder of all the fun we had at the beginning of the month. Two weeks in internet time is like years so now it's time to get all nostalgic and reflect on our most recent #snarkathon adventure.
This month we watched I Know Who Killed Me and there's not a whole lot to say about this movie. It's basically The Parent Trap with strippers, artificial limbs, and torture porn.
Our girl Lindsay Lohan is not only characters in the story, but also narrating the story as some sort of class project - you know, for those days where your teachers have you read out shitty horror stories.
This month we watched I Know Who Killed Me and there's not a whole lot to say about this movie. It's basically The Parent Trap with strippers, artificial limbs, and torture porn.
Our girl Lindsay Lohan is not only characters in the story, but also narrating the story as some sort of class project - you know, for those days where your teachers have you read out shitty horror stories.
Simon analyzes some data on a screen as Book disregards his thinky face and starts chatting. Book is being the person who sees you with headphones on and strikes up a conversation, but like the space-cowboy version of it. Something like that. (S: A+)
Anyway, he asks Simon if he's ever read the writings of Shan Yu, the psychotic dictator who "fancied himself quite the warrior-poet." Apparently this crazy dictator poet wrote a lot about torture and human endurance, and Book wonders if the people who messed with River's brain did it to see how much she could endure. Simon doesn't think so. He shows Book a picture of River's brain and points out that there is pattern. Besides, if the bad guys' aim was just to hurt River, they wouldn't still be after her.
Anyway, he asks Simon if he's ever read the writings of Shan Yu, the psychotic dictator who "fancied himself quite the warrior-poet." Apparently this crazy dictator poet wrote a lot about torture and human endurance, and Book wonders if the people who messed with River's brain did it to see how much she could endure. Simon doesn't think so. He shows Book a picture of River's brain and points out that there is pattern. Besides, if the bad guys' aim was just to hurt River, they wouldn't still be after her.
We start zoomed in on a bundle of newspapers with the headline, "Crime Wave Shuts Down City." I'm not sure why no one is helping this city, but okay. City Shut Down. Connor grabs the bundle and uses it to hit a vampire he's fighting. It's actually a group of vampires and more keep appearing. He dusts a few of them with a, "Welcome to LA," though he doesn't add the obligatory, "bitch," that I feel belongs there.
Sweeney: Bad form, Connor.
Lor: Connor looks up and there are lots more vampires coming at him from both sides.
Sweeney: Bad form, Connor.
Lor: Connor looks up and there are lots more vampires coming at him from both sides.
Lorraine: Sunnydale Bus Station. A young woman of color (LOOK KIRSTI) (K: Season 7, otherwise known as "that one time Sunnydale had POC characters who survived more than two episodes...) who is wearing some Overalls of Overall Sadness gets off a bus. I don't actually know if she's sad, but it's been a while since we've had overalls and I wanted to call them that again.
Sweeney: Season 7 has a lot of nostalgia to deliver and those overalls were definitely plucked from early season Buffy's closet.
Kirsti: Plus, it lets us bring back a tag that's been languishing unused since season 3. HURRAH.
Sweeney: Season 7 has a lot of nostalgia to deliver and those overalls were definitely plucked from early season Buffy's closet.
Kirsti: Plus, it lets us bring back a tag that's been languishing unused since season 3. HURRAH.
HERE IT IS, DEAR READERS. If you're unclear on what's happening here, there's a tiny bit more explanation (not much) and a few gifs on the original nominations post. It's pretty basic: we're reviewing 2013 on this blog. All the material we covered and all of our favorite (or most traumatizing) recurring themes. It's up to you to vote and determine the winners.
The idea behind the two week delay between nominations/ballot was to give you all some opportunity to post about it, though there weren't enough posts to warrant a separate roundup post. If you're curious, though: Ashlea blogged about it, I vlogged, and we retweeted a few tweets about it. So there's your expert commentary before you make your final decisions.
The idea behind the two week delay between nominations/ballot was to give you all some opportunity to post about it, though there weren't enough posts to warrant a separate roundup post. If you're curious, though: Ashlea blogged about it, I vlogged, and we retweeted a few tweets about it. So there's your expert commentary before you make your final decisions.
Random people in Los Angeles (a father and child, a postalworker, YOU, DEAR EVERYMAN VIEWER!) are watching the news or the sky in shock and horror about the "localized abnormality" that is the blotted out sun. It's funny, particularly for us joint-watchers, to have them address this, "No, the sun's not gone in Sunnydale, because of reasons! Don't worry about it." Also, the news is being reported by KTLA5 and I always get a little giddy about that, because that was the nightly local news I watched. Or, like, kept on in the background because I didn't feel like turning the TV off while I played Roller Coaster Tycoon.
Lorraine: People throwing up on my clean sidewalks used to carry over into my dreams. Man, I loved that game.
Lorraine: People throwing up on my clean sidewalks used to carry over into my dreams. Man, I loved that game.
WE FINISHED ANOTHER SEASON! It was a slow crawl to the finish line on this one partially because of real life stuff and also because this show where nothing happens inexplicably decided to have a 25 episode season. WHY? In last week's finale post we rejoiced to learn a thing! Mona is A! Except actually we get to take two steps back because THERE'S A WHOLE A TEAM! And the mysterious alarm clock!
Remember last season when we complained about how impossible this show was to rank? Given how much nothing happens and how long it took us to slog through all that nothing (but, like, super pretty nothing!) we all agreed that there was simply no way we could rank this season.
Remember last season when we complained about how impossible this show was to rank? Given how much nothing happens and how long it took us to slog through all that nothing (but, like, super pretty nothing!) we all agreed that there was simply no way we could rank this season.
Xander is cleaning up the broken glass, lamenting that he's trapped in a "loop" in which he replaces the Chez Summers windows for all of eternity. (K: This is hilarious because he spends most of the rest of season 7 repairing those fucking windows.) This joke acknowledging the recurring destruction of the Summers home is obviously fantastic, but the word "loop" makes me twitch because I'm trying to learn actual code so that I can fix all the things that keep breaking on this website, but failing because it all looks unsettlingly like math. I feel you, Xander. I sometimes wonder if Snark Squad database errors are going to be ruining my life forever, too.
Lorraine: I really hope it isn't rage ninjas breaking our website.
Lorraine: I really hope it isn't rage ninjas breaking our website.
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