The previouslies include basically everything we've seen so far, including all of the annoying Aria/Ezra crap which means we'll all be gauging our eyes out by the end of this one. Anyways, the episode starts with the girls drinking coffee at a very public coffeehouse and having a very public conversation about their secrets, per usual. The Liars rehash how Ali was dressing up as Wigison to get answers on who 'A' was.
Sweeney: These expository conversations are always so laughably clunky. We're meant to believe that they had some brief conversation about what happened between Aria and the random dude, but actually no conversation was had because they ask Aria questions that amount to, "Please, tell the entire brief story again."
I brought up my recapping method in today's Buffy post. For Angel, it's become a different thing. Namely, I have to power through the episode in a sitting and then come back and recap from memory/skipping around Netflix/transcripts/notes. It's the only way.
That said, I'd be a terrible Internet friend if I didn't tell you that about 5 minutes of this episode is rated BB for [FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY PLEASE STOCK UP ON THE] Brain Bleach.
Sweeney: I can't believe we didn't make this rating sooner, really:
That said, I'd be a terrible Internet friend if I didn't tell you that about 5 minutes of this episode is rated BB for [FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY PLEASE STOCK UP ON THE] Brain Bleach.
Sweeney: I can't believe we didn't make this rating sooner, really:
This is my second episode this season and it is again an episode a few of you have claimed to love. We know how well that worked out for me and Beneath You. Here's hoping I can love this one. The previouslies are Anya heavy, which is a good sign.
Sweeney: No pressure or anything, Anya, but our happiness for the week rests on you.
Lor: We open at Chez Summers, where Dawn is helping Willow arrange some things while giving her advice that consists of, "do what everyone else does," "nod and smile," and generally, "fake it 'till you make it." "Do what everyone else does," seems like a good way to get dead in Sunnydale, even if we are just talking about Willow going back to college.
Sweeney: No pressure or anything, Anya, but our happiness for the week rests on you.
Lor: We open at Chez Summers, where Dawn is helping Willow arrange some things while giving her advice that consists of, "do what everyone else does," "nod and smile," and generally, "fake it 'till you make it." "Do what everyone else does," seems like a good way to get dead in Sunnydale, even if we are just talking about Willow going back to college.
It's been a while, so I'm not pleased with the very somber introduction to this episode, my return to the show. Funereal music plays as we see a bunch of shots of the empty ship. The sequence ends with a shot of Mal collapsing.
He has a flashback. I think Whedon took a cue from Rosewood because this flashback is clearly brought to us by a particularly strong Instagram filter. I'm thinking Toaster? Anyway, this flashback is of the day he showed Zoe the brand new ship he bought. She is all sorts of unimpressed by Serenity - thinks it's a bit of a dump. Future!Kaylee is off somewhere, taking offense, I'm sure.
He has a flashback. I think Whedon took a cue from Rosewood because this flashback is clearly brought to us by a particularly strong Instagram filter. I'm thinking Toaster? Anyway, this flashback is of the day he showed Zoe the brand new ship he bought. She is all sorts of unimpressed by Serenity - thinks it's a bit of a dump. Future!Kaylee is off somewhere, taking offense, I'm sure.
First: I flailed a little over this episode being named after one of my favorite poems. Fun! (Weeeeee apocalyptic poetry!) When the show begins, a man is trying to jump start his family vehicle in a shady area that he shouldn't have been in to begin with. Connor appears to be his horrifyingly I'm-going-to-wear-your-skin self, and the dad clearly wants Connor to get gone because they already called for help. Said help arrives and is, of course, a vampire towing company. IDK. Sure. Connor reappears and stakes them.
Kirsti: Our old friend Contrivance has set a new world record with this scene.
Lorraine: I love how you first recognize the evil because the vampires drive like asshats.
Kirsti: Our old friend Contrivance has set a new world record with this scene.
Lorraine: I love how you first recognize the evil because the vampires drive like asshats.
Today's fun time in Sunnydale begins in a funeral home where two guys are closing up, after preparing an older woman for her service the next day.
Kirsti: Right, because you'd totally leave a dead body sitting out at room temperature all night...
Sweeney: Kirsti, that sentence already requires me to think more about the care of dead bodies than I'd like. (See also: any thinking about the subject at all.)
After the guys leave, Buffy and Xander emerge from coffins. Xander says something about wanting to HELP. Seems like a lazy way to earn the star, but kudos for being so quick about it and beating everyone else to it:
Kirsti: Right, because you'd totally leave a dead body sitting out at room temperature all night...
Sweeney: Kirsti, that sentence already requires me to think more about the care of dead bodies than I'd like. (See also: any thinking about the subject at all.)
After the guys leave, Buffy and Xander emerge from coffins. Xander says something about wanting to HELP. Seems like a lazy way to earn the star, but kudos for being so quick about it and beating everyone else to it:
Wallace asks Veronica what her big Friday night plans are. All she's got so far are taking Backup for a run and possibly renting a PG-13 movie. If you take away the "going for a run" part you have a good representative of most of my Friday nights. No shame, V.
Wallace isn't on board with these plans, though, and aspires to a live a life inspired by a Nelly rap video. LOL. Nelly.
Sweeney: "Step back, wild child," is a favorite phrase of mine in life. It's another one of those, "TV informs how I engage with the other humans," moments.
Wallace isn't on board with these plans, though, and aspires to a live a life inspired by a Nelly rap video. LOL. Nelly.
Sweeney: "Step back, wild child," is a favorite phrase of mine in life. It's another one of those, "TV informs how I engage with the other humans," moments.
Emily returns home after Hanna has already gone to bed, but Hanna turns the lights on. She doesn't want to talk about it. The cops asked her a lot of questions, and Maya's parents received a note, but she doesn't know much else because LOL police. Emily mostly wants Hanna to STFU and let her go to bed, which Hanna finally does.
Elsewhere, Melissa is telling Spencer that she ditched her for Garrett because he's been totes a good friend to her lately and she's sure Ian didn't really kill Ali and also, "LOOK, I WENT TO THE POLICE!" Girl, have you not gotten the memo? Talking to Rosewood PD about your issues is either the shadiest or dumbest way to solve your problems. And you're way too smart for me to assume the latter. Except she also thinks she might have shared a stupid amount of information with Garrett.
Elsewhere, Melissa is telling Spencer that she ditched her for Garrett because he's been totes a good friend to her lately and she's sure Ian didn't really kill Ali and also, "LOOK, I WENT TO THE POLICE!" Girl, have you not gotten the memo? Talking to Rosewood PD about your issues is either the shadiest or dumbest way to solve your problems. And you're way too smart for me to assume the latter. Except she also thinks she might have shared a stupid amount of information with Garrett.
I'm sure most of you are reading this post right now all, "snark-a-what now?" It's okay. Things around here happen pretty quickly and we're often starting new things when we can barely keep up with what we already have going on. (So, like, Firefly this Friday. For real.)
#Snarkathon came about thanks to some Traumateers who wanted to live Tweet The Cabin in the Woods, the 2012 Joss Whedon vehicle staring Thor, Topher, Fred, Lena's new boyfriend in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2, and a girl IMDB told me played the Yellow Cheetah Ranger. Take this idea, add a Google hangout and voila.
We'll touch a little more on the #snarkathon thing at the end of the post, but first, The Cabin in the Woods (#spoilerssweetie):
#Snarkathon came about thanks to some Traumateers who wanted to live Tweet The Cabin in the Woods, the 2012 Joss Whedon vehicle staring Thor, Topher, Fred, Lena's new boyfriend in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2, and a girl IMDB told me played the Yellow Cheetah Ranger. Take this idea, add a Google hangout and voila.
We'll touch a little more on the #snarkathon thing at the end of the post, but first, The Cabin in the Woods (#spoilerssweetie):
We open in the bad part of town. You can tell because there's a smashed up car covered in graffiti in the foreground. A dude bursts through a door and runs into the street only to be confronted by Connor. Random dude wants to know what Connor is because nothing human can move that quickly. Connor knows exactly what random dude is though - a vampire. He taunts him as they start fighting. Up on a nearby rooftop, Angel is backseat fighting, being all "No, don't do that!" and "Atta boy."
Lorraine: I especially appreciate the "you're talking too much," advice. Really, Angel? Where was that advice a few seasons ago for Buffy?
Lorraine: I especially appreciate the "you're talking too much," advice. Really, Angel? Where was that advice a few seasons ago for Buffy?
We open at Sunnydale Airport, where it looks weirdly like an early episode of Friends. Passengers are deplaning, and the camera pans across to show Buffy, Dawn and Xander waiting. Dawn looks pissed, Buffy looks a little anxious, and Xander is carrying a placard that says "WELCOME HOME WILLOW" in yellow crayon. Aww. (L: Super aww.) Dawn teases Xander over how many times he's told the yellow crayon story, and then announces that she's nervous about seeing Willow. Buffy agrees, and wonders what you say to someone who flayed a dude alive and then tried to end the world. Xander says that he's going to start with "Hi, Willow," and go from there. (S: Additional, "Aww.") He also says that Giles wouldn't have let her leave unless she was fully recovered. Buffy worriedly says that Giles told her Willow wasn't really ready to come back but that it was important that she did.
We find ourselves in Gills Rock, Wisconsin on October 28, 1985. There's an 80's wash on this scene. That is to say it's soft and light jean. Something like that. (S: A+)
A car pulls up to Thorpe's Academy. A little girl in a way too puffy track suit is with her parents. They are greeted by Lydia Thorpe. The conversation between the Raidens and Mrs. Thorpe tells us that the little girl, Gwen, has some sort of "special needs." The Raidens made a nice donation to the school, partly for some accommodations for their daughter. The Raidens are all, "WELL OKAY LOVE YA, SEE YA." Gwen says nothing and is led away by Mrs. Thorpe who says she must stay away from the other children. She gives her parents one last, "thanks for abandoning me," look and they leave.
A car pulls up to Thorpe's Academy. A little girl in a way too puffy track suit is with her parents. They are greeted by Lydia Thorpe. The conversation between the Raidens and Mrs. Thorpe tells us that the little girl, Gwen, has some sort of "special needs." The Raidens made a nice donation to the school, partly for some accommodations for their daughter. The Raidens are all, "WELL OKAY LOVE YA, SEE YA." Gwen says nothing and is led away by Mrs. Thorpe who says she must stay away from the other children. She gives her parents one last, "thanks for abandoning me," look and they leave.
he actual previouslies are in fact two full minutes of everything we said we wanted to forget happened in season 6, including the attempted rape. Some of you claimed to love this episode, so I will try not to hold that reel against it. In case you were wondering, though, yep. I still hate it.
Sweeney: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US, SHOW?
Kirsti: Not even the few seconds tacked on the end of stuff that happened in the previous episode could dull my fury.
Sweeney: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US, SHOW?
Kirsti: Not even the few seconds tacked on the end of stuff that happened in the previous episode could dull my fury.
IT'S NEW SERIES TIME! New series and a new recapper. We've wanted to add Veronica Mars to our repertoire for a while, but we also needed a Snow (and like 19 more hours in the week, but we settled for having half of our demands met). Much like our Buffy recaps we have three different experiences. I haven't marathoned any other show half as many times as I've seen this one. (Which is to say that I've seen it all-the-way-through 5 or 6 times. I really don't repeat-marathon most shows.) Lor has only seen it once, though we share the belief that the first season of this show is one of the best seasons of TV ever. (We'll see how blogging changes things.) Meanwhile, a dear friend of the blog (and also my lifeself), The Democracy Diva will be joining us as the resident Snow. Diva Snow, if you please.
We begin with something that is obviously some sort of dream sequence because everything is so happy and good and not broken but I don't even care, I'm fucking enjoying it. The whole Fang Gang, plus Connor, are sitting at a fancy table in the Hyperion lobby eating what appears to be Thanksgiving dinner and they're all laughing and happy and toasting to family and Wesley is there and Cordelia's hair isn't too awful and THEN THAT'S THE EPISODE! THE END! THANKS FOR COMING.
Kirsti: A+. Everyone go home. Nothing to see here.
Lorraine: I don't know about you, but I feel satisfied.
Kirsti: A+. Everyone go home. Nothing to see here.
Lorraine: I don't know about you, but I feel satisfied.
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