Author: Nicole Sweeney

Angel S03 E01 – Feels Stones & Vampire Hair Gel

Zoomy LA establishing shot eventually takes us inside the Brooding Hotel, where Fred is being a jittery creeper, in accordance with her five years of being driven solidly insane over in Pylea. She's listening as Cordelia explains that for all the shit she understands in this world, demon-worshippers are not among them. She is returning with Wesley and Gunn, as they are discussing a job they are clearly returning from. Shop talk quickly turns into lamenting their general lack of social lives or love lives.
Kirsti: The highlight of which for me was Gunn's "Who has time for love when you're out there doin' it with the demons?" and then his realisation that he should probably think and then speak.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer S06 E01 – Clouding Over With Foreshadowing

We begin with another round of previouslies that essentially summarize the entire show. A series of clips that give the viewers the Cliff Notes version of all the show's major characters (except Giles -- the previouslies don't tell you much about his story. Poor Giles.) These previouslies end with Buffy's death and tombstone, with the VO: "You have to be strong Dawn -- for me."
K: BRB, dealing with All the Nostalgia Feels.
Sweeney: After that we cut to the cemetery where Spike, Tara, and Giles are chasing a vamp who gets away. I totally forgot about this scene!

Pretty Little Liars S02 E02 – Pedzrafitz.

This episode starts right where the last one left off, with the girls in the Greenhouse of Secrets, freaked out about the possibility of Ian still being alive. Hanna says he has to be alive, because zombies can't text. Or Hanna is totally wrong, and at the end of the series, we'll find out that A/Ian/everyone else is actually in a zombie movie. I just wrote a way better ending than anything the PLL writers will come up with, I'm sure.
Lorraine: Re-writing the series we cover with zombies seems to be a common theme in the last couple of days. I approve.
Sweeney: The Traumaland Zombie Novel series is going to be a huge hit, I'm sure.

Fifty Shades Freed Chapter 18 – Rotten.

EL James only ever starts chapters one second after the previous or with Ana waking up.
Ana wakes up, and it's her birthday. I'm pretty sure enough has been said about how loathsome it is that her birthday is near or around mine (and so many of you in the comments!) but I'm saying it again, because the Number Gods have deemed that I am to cover her actual birthday on top of it all.
Ana takes full moments to "orientate" herself, and it comes with a sense of deja vu over being at the Heathman again. She "gasps out loud," and look if these jokes are recycled, file a complaint with EL James who after three books, didn't learn that a gasp is an audible thing.

Pretty Little Liars S02 E01 – Unwise choices.

The first episode of season two starts moments after where we left off at the end of For Whom the Bell Tolls. The girls are sharing a group WTF over the fact that Ian was most definitely dead, and now his body is missing. They of course attribute this to A shenanigans.
Creepy Jenna-kissing Officer Garrett comes over to tell the girls that they are being taken down to the station and their parents will meet them there. The girls don't question this, and hop on into Officer Garrett's car. He takes a turn that is decidedly not towards the station, pulls into a back alley and demands that the girls all get out of the car in a super creepy fashion.

Angel S02 Wrap Up

WE FINISHED ANOTHER THING! Sorry, this being the third wrap up post in a week, it's hard to keep selling that enthusiasm, but we're still pretty excited about it all the same. Is this us starting to get cocky about finishing things? This post is late, so that's probably a bad idea. JUST KIDDING, IT'S STILL SUPER EXCITING TO FINISH THINGS AND IT DOESN'T HAPPEN OFTEN ENOUGH! There. All better.
That weird ass intro is kind of accidentally appropriate as we wrap up a weird ass season of Angel. You lot seem to be suggesting to us that shit's just going to keep getting weirder, and I'm not even sure what to make of that.

Angel S02 E22 – Home is where the feels are.

We pick up where we left off - with Cordy crying over Lorne's severed head. She apologises and says that it wasn't his fault, and that she wants to go home. "Oh honey. I'm right there with you," says Lorne's severed head. Cordy screams and collapses on the floor. Roll electric cellos.
After the credits, we learn that Charisma Carpenter has an impressive lung capacity because Cordy screams for like 30 seconds straight without drawing breath. (S: We already knew that! Back in the early days of Buffy, we had a running joke about a scream clause in her contract!) (K: True. How forgetful of me!)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer S05 E22 – These are the choices.

It's finale time, kids! Can we all just stop and marvel at how this season seemed to last about five minutes while season 4 dragged on for a freaking millennium? Also, we've now made it through a whopping ONE HUNDRED episodes of Buffy. I feel like that warrants celebration.
Lorraine: I'm really feeling all nostalgic over Buffy. I know we have two full seasons to go, but it's just that much more over. I'm sorry. I'm clouding our celebration with my attachment-to-TV feels. Here. Have a happy dance gif:
Sweeney: I'm glad it's also a well dressed happy dance gif. This is a big event and we must dress accordingly.

Fifty Shades Freed Chapter 17 – Useless Information

As usual, we begin exactly where the previous chapter ends, because these books each span approximately 72 hours. Ana is still on the phone with Josecob's dad and mostly because I'm always looking for a good excuse to procrastinate while doing these posts, I started looking up Jacob's dad in Twilight. (Google wasn't sure if I wanted "Twilight" or "The Bible.") When I asked Google for a gif of Billy Black, I found this:
Lorraine: I thought I would never again be appalled by something someone made. I stand corrected.
Sweeney: This is the internet, Lor. The possibilities are endless!

Pretty Little Liars S01 E22 – Judas moves.

Finale time! We pick up where we left off last time, with the girls sitting on the bed, watching more Stalker videos. But the next video isn't of the PLLs; it's of Blind!Jenna, before she was blind, and Toby. Jenna has her arms around Toby and is telling him (and us) that it isn't really creepy because of how they aren't really related. Yeah, no. It's still creepy, girl. She goes on that if he doesn't get sexy with her, she'll tell his dad that he's been forcing her to have sex with him and obviously they'll believe her. So yeah. Jenna is a straight up rapist, and we now have lots of validity behind why we hate her. Thank goodness Hanna went ahead and slapped her that one time. (NEVER FORGET.)

Angel S02 E21 – Queen for a day.

We pick up exactly where we left off last time. The guys stare at Showgirl Costume Cordy in confusion, and she says Pylea's not that bad although her throne could use more cushions. Wes says that it's great because now she can set them all free. Gunn makes puppy dog eyes at her as he shows off his manacles. She says that there should be extended grovelling first, and Angel rolls his eyes. So she says "Off with their heads!" The guards all pull their swords and the guys look shocked. "Just kidding!" she adds. Roll electric cellos.
Sweeney: Girl, this is not really the audience for joking about members of the Fang Gang getting beheaded.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer S05 E21 – Head canon

After the previouslies, we're at Glory's. Her Flattery Demons are packing up all her stuff and talking about how they're already behind schedule. Glory, meanwhile, is trying on some kind of robe thingy. She overhears her minions talking smack about her, and wonders out loud why she doesn't have the urge to kill them for it. She follows it up with a ramble about all the chaos she's going to cause when she gets home, then asks why she isn't happy. "What do you think?" she says, and the camera pans across to a bound, gagged, and crying Dawn sitting in a chair.
Cut to the petrol station. Spike informs the gang that he's successfully hot wired Ben's car, so they can leave.

Angel S02 E20 – Exactly which “never” did you not understand?

We join Cordy just after she's been dumped into this other dimension. She screams, before realizing that's a sure fire way to attract all kinds of unwanted, hellbeast attention. She clicks her heels together, Dorothy style, and I take a moment to admire her lovely, fitted denim jumpsuit. I took to Google search to prove to myself that Jennifer Lopez rocked something like this in the early 2000's, and all I found was that denim jumpsuits and denim overalls are making a comeback. So, that's a thing.
K: Let's go ahead and file them all under "things Kirsti will never understand" because why the hell would you want to strip down to your bra and knickers just to go to the loo? That said, the Dorothy heel click was adorable.

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