Lorraine: Rosewood High is holding auditions for a play, and our Pretty Little Liars are all gathered for the occasion. Can I tell you how hilarious these episode openings are? I know that all shows do a certain amount of rehashing, but PLL is almost shameless in its beginning of the episode, expository conversations.
Anyways, Spencer is explaining to her friends what the play, The Bad Seed, is all about. Hanna says she didn't read the whole thing because she just wants to be the drunk mom of the play. Spencer gives her, "MMMHMM." eyes, allowing Hanna to exposit that she once brought a flask to a dance. Oh, yeah and also, Caleb is still living in Hanna's basement and A found out and Hanna has decided to tell her mom about it before A does.
Kirsti: We open in an abandoned looking place full of corridors and the camera promptly zooms in on a shopping trolley with a creepy doll sitting in it. But not a Drusilla creepy doll. More like a Chucky creepy doll. Thanks, Zoomy Cameraman, for weirding me out like 10 seconds into the episode.
Angel appears in the background. He heads past the creepy doll and opens a door. He heads into the room, closes the door behind him, then turns on the light. The room is filled with goats. Angel looks as confused as I do.
Sweeney: His confusion is excellent.
Angel appears in the background. He heads past the creepy doll and opens a door. He heads into the room, closes the door behind him, then turns on the light. The room is filled with goats. Angel looks as confused as I do.
Sweeney: His confusion is excellent.
Kirsti: Okay, I hate this episode SO FUCKING MUCH, YOU GUYS. Because of reasons. Not least of which is the introduction of quite possibly my least favourite character in the whole of the Buffy-verse. Oh Number Gods, why must you torment me like this? SIGH.
Sweeney: Robots + Warren? Yeah, this was pretty bad draw.
Lorraine: Let's just remember that you ended up third in the rotation because you HAD to cover School Hard.
K: Okay, fine. I have no one to blame but myself.
Sweeney: Robots + Warren? Yeah, this was pretty bad draw.
Lorraine: Let's just remember that you ended up third in the rotation because you HAD to cover School Hard.
K: Okay, fine. I have no one to blame but myself.
We open with all four PLLs in Spencer's room, with Aria sulking by the window. They're discussing how Melissa is pregnant and Emily wonders why she got pregnant. The girls are trying to decode Toby's message, which is in braille. Emily invites Aria to sit closer and Nancy Drew with them, but she just mean eyes Hanna and says she can see just fine, thank you very much.
They decode Toby's letter, and all it says is BAD. Womp womp.
SHH.
They decode Toby's letter, and all it says is BAD. Womp womp.
SHH.
Another instant round of the Feelsy Soundtrack starts us off this episode, as Angel broods around the empty and dark Brooding Hotel. Someone get this man a puppy.
K: Except that not, on account of Angelus likes to play with puppies a little too much...
Lor: Someone get this man a Tamagatchi.
We head over to the Fangless Gang headquarters, where things are decidedly less soul crushing, but also, business is slow.
K: Except that not, on account of Angelus likes to play with puppies a little too much...
Lor: Someone get this man a Tamagatchi.
We head over to the Fangless Gang headquarters, where things are decidedly less soul crushing, but also, business is slow.
The Bronze is having a grand re-opening, which is a sweet little piece of continuity, since Olaf (otherwise known as the Troll Gone Wild) destroyed it pretty good in the last episode I covered. Xander was also wearing a cast the last couple of episodes. I like to positively reinforce the show when I can, so it doesn't feel too bad when I yell at it for plot devices or contrivance or Season 4.
ANYWAYS. Inside, The Bronze has gotten a bit of a facelift. A band is playing on stage while Anya and Xander dance together, right next to Willow and Tara. Buffy is sitting nearby, alone, and watching all the fun she isn't having.
ANYWAYS. Inside, The Bronze has gotten a bit of a facelift. A band is playing on stage while Anya and Xander dance together, right next to Willow and Tara. Buffy is sitting nearby, alone, and watching all the fun she isn't having.
Sweeney: As promised, here is some of the miscellaneous absurdity scrapped from the recap. This is not actually in any particular order and probably won’t make much sense without having...
This chapter, dear readers, marks the mid-way point in Fifty Shades Freed. We are halfway there. (And trying not to think about the fact that this means we still have three long months of Fifty Shades reading ahead of us.) As with the first two books, we are celebrating this momentous occasion with a vlog. This is the final Fifty Shades vlog recap! I realize that we have now celebrated the shit out of every completed step in the Fifty Shades reading process and it has probably lost all meaning for you, but we really like to celebrate.
Several of you mentioned on Twitter that 5 minutes is your max for a vlog, so I apologize for not being able to get our 40 minutes of rambling into anything less than 14.
Several of you mentioned on Twitter that 5 minutes is your max for a vlog, so I apologize for not being able to get our 40 minutes of rambling into anything less than 14.
Does this episode title mean that we can confirm that A is female? Or that A is just fucking with everywhere possible? Anyway, the episode begins with the Cavanaugh mailbox being smashed by a baseball bat by someone unseen.
Aria's in her room getting ready for another day of her pedolationship and maybe attending a class or two. Papa Cheater won't be home for dinner but he's really awkward about it, due to probably going on a date with Piper Mom. Because of reasons, she has to get his checkbook out of his coat pocket to pay for his dance marathon pledge and she finds Piper Mom's ticket to the museum where she and Pedzrafitz had Baby's Day Out.
Aria's in her room getting ready for another day of her pedolationship and maybe attending a class or two. Papa Cheater won't be home for dinner but he's really awkward about it, due to probably going on a date with Piper Mom. Because of reasons, she has to get his checkbook out of his coat pocket to pay for his dance marathon pledge and she finds Piper Mom's ticket to the museum where she and Pedzrafitz had Baby's Day Out.
Sweeney: We kick off the episode upstairs at Brooding Hotel. Angel looks out the window as the tinkly pianos of feels play. We're starting with the pianos of feels? I have no idea what's about to happen, but as I'm not actually recovered from Buffy, I am upset about this.
Lorraine: I trust the Piano pretty implicitly too, so I'm upset about being upset and not yet knowing why I'm so upset. Way to go, episode.
Lorraine: I trust the Piano pretty implicitly too, so I'm upset about being upset and not yet knowing why I'm so upset. Way to go, episode.
Sweeney: The episode begins at The Magic Box, mid-Scooby powwow. It's that time of year again! Time for another traumatically bad Buffy Birthday! Willow is being the best friend and fully on Team Party, but Buffy's all, "Yeah, but, remember how my birthday falls mid-season, when things start to get really interesting with the Big Bad?" I'm paraphrasing.
Lorraine: A lot. Because no one has learned that lesson yet, and still have faith in things like cake and presents.
Lorraine: A lot. Because no one has learned that lesson yet, and still have faith in things like cake and presents.
Lorraine: The Liars all come down the stairs at the Hastings Manor, led by Aria. They complain about the early hour, but Aria says she has to show them something important. Aria pulls up the picture of Alison being followed by a shadow on the night she was killed. Spencer insists the shadow following Alison is totally Ian, but since last week it was Toby, I say we don't take her word for it.
Aria prints out the picture as Hanna asks if Aria's been up all night. Aria non-answers, but Hanna can tell she hasn't slept because one eye is bigger than the other. "You look like a strung out Power Puff girl." I love Hanna and am only sad that I didn't think of this association first.
Aria prints out the picture as Hanna asks if Aria's been up all night. Aria non-answers, but Hanna can tell she hasn't slept because one eye is bigger than the other. "You look like a strung out Power Puff girl." I love Hanna and am only sad that I didn't think of this association first.
After the previouslies, we’re at Cordy’s apartment. Gunn and Wes are in a stare down. This leads into some very hard core “I’mma beat you” talk, which culminates in Gunn beating Wes at Risk. Gunn gloats and does a little happy dance, and it’s pretty fantastic.
Cordy appears in her dressing gown, and is all “Wow, it’s super late, you guys should go.” Wes is all “Uhhhhh, it’s half seven, weirdo,” and she tells them to get out. Apparently the office is now based in her apartment, and she’s sick of them both. The trio mope a little about how Angel’s never going to call, and then Wes makes a decision that the first thing to go will be the stupid business cards.
Cordy appears in her dressing gown, and is all “Wow, it’s super late, you guys should go.” Wes is all “Uhhhhh, it’s half seven, weirdo,” and she tells them to get out. Apparently the office is now based in her apartment, and she’s sick of them both. The trio mope a little about how Angel’s never going to call, and then Wes makes a decision that the first thing to go will be the stupid business cards.
Kirsti: Well, we're officially into the second half of season 5, y'all! We open at Chez Summers where a Scooby Gang meeting is in progress. Buffy apologises for the house being messy - Joyce still isn't up to doing the cleaning, and Buffy's 19 and has a sacred duty to save the planet from evil, so pffff, cleaning.
Lorraine: I'm 26 and have a sacred duty to watch TV for a not-living. Pfff. Cleaning.
K: A+. I'm 30 and periodically "Pff" when my mother suggests I dust my room.
Lorraine: I'm 26 and have a sacred duty to watch TV for a not-living. Pfff. Cleaning.
K: A+. I'm 30 and periodically "Pff" when my mother suggests I dust my room.
Sara: The girls watch the extended version of the "I Know You Wanna Kiss Me" video, which has Alison saying that she has to get back to the barn before the PLLs get suspicious. The girls see the end of the video, where the camera is turned around on Ian. The camera is knocked to the ground, and Ali's hand grabs at the dirt and my closed captions say she groans. Hanna points out that there are things besides pain that make people groan (sex) but Spencer doesn't seem to think that's it.
Lorraine: To be fair, she's grabbing handfuls of dirt in the scene too, which seems like more of a desperation thing than a, "woo! This feels so good!" thing. I mean, unless dirt is your thing. IDK.
Lorraine: To be fair, she's grabbing handfuls of dirt in the scene too, which seems like more of a desperation thing than a, "woo! This feels so good!" thing. I mean, unless dirt is your thing. IDK.
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