Author: Nicole Sweeney

Angel S02 E11 – Fangless.

A seizure cut introduces the episode as Cordelia, Wesley and Gunn leave the Brooding Hotel with their possessions in white boxes. Cordelia echoes our feelings at the end of last episode with a, "what just happened?"
Sweeney: The end of the last episode was a reminder of how fun being a new watcher of a show can be. I'm surprisingly spoiled on this show, BUT I STILL CAN'T STOP ASKING THIS QUESTION, CORDELIA. Good job show. But also, PLEASE EXPLAIN YOURSELF.
K: Agreed. Also, A+ gif selection, Lor.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer S05 E11 – Forever Bathrobe.

Lorraine: Last recap got fun, didn't it? After all that, I just wanted to say that we love hearing all of your feedback. The 3,000 plus words we spend recapping an episode are nothing, if not for the comments section underneath. So, thank you for keeping it interesting. Thank you for being imaginative, insightful, but most, most of all, respectful. Thank you for understanding that you may not change my mind, and I might not change yours but that's okay because there are no right answers.
Well, perhaps there is ONE right answer: potatoes > Riley Finn.

Angel S02 E10 – Vampcest

Sweeney: Gunn is helping a wounded Angel into the Brooding HQ. Angel's babbling and Gunn doesn't really know what's going on, but he found Angel at Darla's motel. Through his crazy stress babble, Angel reveals the gist of what just happened: Dru is back and she just re-sired Darla. Wesley is once again on Team Let Darla Go, and Angel's all, "Nope! I can save her!" and pulls out a stake. Roll electric cello.
Kirsti: I'm still a little confused as to why Angel has a stake just lying around his office. I mean, if it were part of his magical stake-firing wrist weaponry, then sure.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer S05 E10 – Join the party.

We begin in the hospital. Buffy and Riley are sitting together while Dawn naps on Buffy’s lap. Giles is fretting about trying to be useful while Willow and Xander bicker about the painfully slow passage of time. Once we have sufficiently driven home the Everybody Feels Like This Is Lasting Forever-ness of the situation, we see a doctor walking down the hall and they all stand up. Then the credits roll to keep us waiting a little bit longer. Rude, show. Just rude.
Kirsti: SRSLY. Also: I love that all the Scoobies are there. I mean, yes, they’re there in part to support Buffy. But at the same time, as much as we’ve hated on Joyce in the past, she’s a surrogate mother to most of them.

Fifty Shades Freed Chapter 12 – Same abuse, new tricks.

Ana starts us off by confirming that no, she did not know where her husband was born. That's usually the stuff you learn in like week 2 or 3 of dating, right about the time Grey and Ana were signing contracts or, I don't know, getting married.
Grey tells Ana that he and Elliot were both born and adopted in Detroit. The Greys moved to Seattle shortly thereafter. Ana wants to know how Grey knows that Jack was born in Detroit.
Oh, this is a serious question? Girl, you are seriously asking how MF STALKER BOYFRIEND knew where Jack was born? Even Grey is all, “um, duh.” as he shares that he had a background check run on Jack.

Pretty Little Liars S01 E13 – Sad Cupcakes

We begin the episode in the Hastings home. It's late at night and Spencer's creeping. She hears her sister and Ian having a whispered conversation, but runs back to her room when the stairs creek. As soon as she gets back, she has an email from A asking if they married for love or an alibi. Big eyes, Shhh. See, the show has Aria shush us after people do scandalous, sneaky shit.
Lorraine: A always has the best timing. Imagine if Spencer found that email after talking to her parents. Awkward!
Sweeney: The next morning, Spencer tip toes around the house and is all, "AAH YOU KILLED ALI!" when Ian enters the kitchen.

Angel S02 E09 – Holy syphilis, Batman!

We open at the Brooding Hotel. Wes, Cordy and her new terrible hair style are worried about Angel. Apparently he's been down in the basement for like forever, and is back to being the King of Broodsville. Plus, Wes keeps hearing a "chucka-chucka sound." Cordy gives Wes crap because he was supposed to do the male bonding thing and get Angel to talk about his feelings, but the English version of that apparently boils down to asking about tea preferences. They squabble a bit before realising that the noise from the cellar has stopped. They sprint for the front desk, and try to look like they've been there the whole time as Angel appears. He was doing his laundry, and says that he loves it when things are still warm from the drier.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer S05 E09 – Ground control to Major Tom

Kirsti: After the previouslies, we're at the hospital where Dawn's eating the jelly (L: JELL-O.) off Joyce's hospital tray with her fingers (EW). Joyce says she won't be offended if the girls go out for real people food. Buffy poo-poos her, and I can't help but notice that she's wearing a hoodie and tracksuit pants, which is the 2000s version of the Overalls of Overall Sadness. Poor Buff.

Angel S02 E08 – Insane in the membrane

Lorraine: Two cops are looking into an interrogation room. One of them is taller than the other, so you're officially being introduced to Tall Cop and Short Cop. All of our nicknames can't be instant classics, okay? Also, the closed captioning has them designated as White Cop and Black Cop. Ha. Helpful.
Sweeney: The closed captioning people should really ask us to name peripheral characters like that.
Kirsti: Closed captioning is the best. ESPECIALLY Youtube's closed captioning. That shit is hilar.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer S05 E08 – CAT Scans are evil.

Lorraine: After a crap ton of previouslies, we start the episode with Joyce going in for her CAT scan. I start crying preemptively. It only took a few "JOYCE! :(" comments and some mysterious headaches to get me to this point.
Sweeney: I PUT FORTH SO MUCH EFFORT IN NOT EXPRESSING MY HOSPITAL!JOYCE FEELS. Since we're here now, I get to join in: JOYCE :(
Lor: I appreciate the effort. I'll pass the tissues.

Fifty Shades Freed Chapter 11 – A Pile of Rocks

Picking up exactly where the last chapter left off (only ELJ would try to use the protagonist's husband waiting for her as a chapter-ending curbhanger) Ana's whispermurmurchokes about Grey having been waiting for in THOSE PANTS that hang on his hips in THAT WAY. She asks herself a lot of stupid questions.
Grey has hung his pants from his hips in that extra-special way in order to sexy distract Ana.
His sexy distraction is described with words like "stalk" which sounds about right. He printed out the email that she sent him -- you know, that eight seconds where she had a spine and explained her very legitimate issue with him flying back to Seattle because she fucking got a drink with a friend?

Pretty Little Liars S01 E12 – Where not to hide your stolen money.

Lorraine: Aria, Emily and Spencer are walking into Hanna's house. Hanna is fiddling with a "Humpty Dumpty was pushed" sticker on her cast. She explains that she's trying to keep it on so she won't have to see the message A left on her cast.
Aria suggest a new, more mellow sticker, but Spencer defends her choice. "It was either Humpty Dumpty or, 'Jesus is coming. Look busy.'" I'm questioning the sticker choices at the Rosewood Hospital gift shop.
Sweeney: This feels consistent with the Rosewood we've come to know and rage out over.

Angel S02 E07 – Flashback Solidarity

Between today's Buffy crossover magic and the fact that six episodes of Angel have already taught me that I knew nothing of Darla's excellence from watching Buffy, this episode title has me legit excited already. It begins with Angel sketching Darla (hooray for the Angel/art ship!) and while I know a title like this will earn someone a proper gold star eventually, I give Angel's sketch pad an honorable mention.
Lorraine: I think "Angel's sketch pad" is the best almost gold star we've ever given. Good job.
Kirsti: A+. Also, Angel/art OTP.
Sweeney: Angel/Art is my OTP too. Look at us, agreeing on the important issues!

Plugin by Social Author Bio