Author: Nicole Sweeney

Buffy the Vampire Slayer S05 E07 – And Then She Died

Sweeney: Today's episode is called Fool For Love. You may have heard of it. I think it's been mentioned a few times in the comments? Just a few. I want everyone to know that I really was just plopped into this spot in the rotation, because that's what made sense. I didn't choose my numbers, THEY CHOSE ME. Or, like, Lor chose them for me. I'M SORRY THE BUFFYVERSE RANDOM NUMBER GODS LOVE ME BEST. But not really.
Lor: I think the Number Gods mostly ignore me. I always get filler episodes.

Pretty Little Liars S01 E11 – Seth Cohen Syndrome

We open up Moments Later, well, moments later. The person who hit Hanna jumps out of the car and runs away. A has to be killing it with the cardio. Hanna's mom gets stopped by the police and at first she's all, "WHAT STOLEN MONEY? I mean, is there something I can help you with, Officer?" There's good news and bad news. Good news: Nobody knows she stole from Mrs. Moneybags. Bad news: Someone got hit by a car, and it was Hanna.
Dear A, please aim for Aria next time. Love, Sara.
Sweeney: Cosigned, Everyone.

Angel S02 E06 – Needs more polyjuice potion

Kirsti: Wes, his nose in a file, wanders across the foyer of the Hyperion. Behind the desk, he goes to open a filing cabinet but finds it jammed. He yanks on it until the entire drawer comes out of the filing cabinet, scattering papers all over the room. Of course this would be the moment when a potential client walks in.
The dude says he's looking for Angel, who Wes says is out. Wes wants to know if he can help. The guy says that it needs to be Angel, on account of his "special abilities". But then he asks if Wes has "special abilities" too, and Wes is all "Oh, totally, on account of that one time I was a rogue demon hunter." Then he slips on a piece of paper and lands on his arse. Oh, honey. You tried.
Lorraine: Slapstick comedy Wes is my least favorite Wes. I can be a fan of physical comedy but it really doesn't do him any favors. Pass.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer S05 E06 – I like you.

Kirsti: We open in the Bigger on the Inside Dorm Room which is what I'm gonna go ahead and insist on calling Willow and Tara's room. (L: Another nickname for the Nickname Graveyard then. I'd pour out wine in its honor, but LOL. I'm not wasting wine.) (Fair) Tara's telling Willow a story while Miss Kitty Fantastico plays on the floor. Willow gets sleepy, and Tara asks if she can keep the light on to look up some spells. Willow makes an Eyebrows of Innuendo comment about how she doesn't need to be snuggled, and then asks why Tara's been studying spells so much. Tara says that she a) needs to keep up with Willow, and b) likes to be useful to the Scoobies. It's pretty much adorable.

Angel S02 E05 – Head vomit.

Lorraine: Today's episode starts with a flash!bang and a series of fast moving shots through LA. It managed to scare the shit out of me and threatened to give me a seizure. Thanks, show!
Sweeney: This show definitely needs to come with an epilepsy warning of some sort.
K: A+. Like, seriously.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer S05 E05 – Family is the key.

Lorraine: We start with a couple of monks running through darkened halls. One monk trips and falls and this is my stress dream. Not the monks or darkened hall part, but the part where I'm running away from something and keep tripping and falling. At least it isn't teeth falling out.
K: Mostly, monks running through darkened halls made me assume that the TARDIS was going to be turning up shortly. I'm still disappointed that it didn't.
Lor: Fair.
A title card tells us that this is happening two months ago.

Pretty Little Liars S01 E09 – BAMF Parenting

Spencer, Aria, and Hanna are gathered around the Hastings's kitchen table. Aria is quizzing Spencer on vocabulary words while Hanna whines about having to learn them. Hanna asks Aria about Noel Khan, but Spencer interrupts to remind them both that SAT's are just 12 hours away. Spencer and Hanna are so precious, even Aria is made tolerable by their presence. Also, I love Spencer's "messy hair" here. Yeah, girl. That's what I look like when I'm studying too.
Sara: I don't think I even caught on to the fact that she had "messy" hair! I bet she also wakes up with perfect loose curls and rosy cheeks.

Angel S02 E04 – Advanced Placement Creep

Sweeney: The episode begins with Lilah snooping around Lindsey's office. Darla appears and creeps about how powerful it feels to rummage through other people's shit. Darla's playing with some bright purple powder that Lilah assumes is how she keeps Angel asleep.
Kirsti: Either that, or Darla's been raiding Cordy's eyeshadow collection.
Lorraine: 1430.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer S05 E04 – Engorgio!

Sweeney: The episode begins with Buffy surveying the cemetery from the top of a crypt, clearly in full-on hunter mode. She runs around, staking vampires before they even come out of the ground. She's interrupted by Riley, who stakes a few vampires before Spike also shows up and also fights off a vampire. Buffy is annoyed by all the interruptions (K: Can't say I blame her. Get your own sacred calling, yo.) and takes this frustration out on Spike with some pointless stay-away-or-I'll-make-more-empty-threats-at-you banter.
Kirsti: I mostly love how indignant he gets when she's like "EW YOU JUST TASTED YOUR OWN NOSE BLOOD." Vampire, Buff. What did you expect?

Fifty Shades Freed Chapter 09 – A Proper Bullshit Metric

Sweeney: The chapter begins with Ana waking up to being physically smothered not-quite-to-death by Grey. She notes that he is "so needy on some level." LOL, you think? This makes her think of baby!Grey just for your chapter-beginning pedobear EW moment. She wakes him up and he blinks a couple of times. I imagine that we are told about people blinking as many times in these three books as in the whole rest of literature.
Lorraine: I like that comparing these books to the whole rest of literature has become a thing. It really gives scope to the bullshit.
Sweeney: That's what we're all about: giving everyone a proper bullshit metric.

Angel S02 E03 – Bitchfaces and improvised weaponry

We open with a hilarious scene between Lorne and Angel. Apparently Broody McBroodsalot has been singing karaoke again, this time clown themed. Lorne asks if Angel's been practicing, and yes - in the shower. Personally, I sing while blowdrying my hair because then no one can hear me, but to each their own. Lorne tells Angel that he's reached a bend in the road and needs to work out what to do now, then heads on stage for some singing. Angel, meanwhile, heads over to the bar where Darla is waiting for him. They're schmoopy and Angel is grinning like an idiot, and it makes me very uncomfortable because that's a trait I associate exclusively with Seeley Booth.

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