This episode starts so directly after the end of the last, I thought for a second I was still watching previouslys. But no, Buffy and Riley are just sitting around, giving really good awkward silence. She breaks it first by suggesting one of them speak before graduation. Riley paces a bit before asking what she is. Buffy dryly offers, "Capricorn on the cusp of Aquarius. You?" Riley apologizes for the blunt question, but he's in awe of her strength and speed.
Buffy turns the question around on him, and he assures her that she knows who he is. What he does, though, is confidential.
Sweeney: It’s here, Traumateers! The beginning of the end! I feel like I can see the glorious light at the end of this shit tunnel.
Lorraine: While Sweeney and I were in California, during our goodbye brunch, we had a serious 15-20 minute conversation about the end of Fifty Shades, the amount of time we invested in it and how weird/awesome it will be when we're done. Thinking of the end gives me something like nauseous nostalgia. It's weird.
Sweeney: Before we dive into the nauseous nostalgia, the book begins with a page of thanks to various people who helped bring this book into being.
Lorraine: While Sweeney and I were in California, during our goodbye brunch, we had a serious 15-20 minute conversation about the end of Fifty Shades, the amount of time we invested in it and how weird/awesome it will be when we're done. Thinking of the end gives me something like nauseous nostalgia. It's weird.
Sweeney: Before we dive into the nauseous nostalgia, the book begins with a page of thanks to various people who helped bring this book into being.
Sweeney: The episode begins with Angel begging the Oracles for the thing we all want: UNDO IT. TAKE IT BACK. The Oracles give no shits, though, and tell him not to be so selfish. Obnoxious. Angel points out that Doyle was PTB(C)'s messenger to them, so he should come back with his visions. The Oracles are already walking away, though, because they don't care and this will work itself out. BYE. Then we see a demon running down an alley. Roll credits, WHICH STILL INCLUDE GLENN QUINN AND MY CORRESPONDING TEARS.
Sweeney: I talk about this a lot because the luck of the draw gave me a lot of the legit awesome episodes. For those of you who don't join the party in the comments section, we snark ladies have something of a debate over whether it's worse to be stuck spending more time with an episode that is awful (taking lead on a post is obviously more time consuming than contributing commentary) or attempting to snark something that is genuinely awesome. On the whole, I'm not complaining about having to do the former less often than the latter. (L: And really, the jury is still out.) All of that being said, this episode, buried in the abysmal season 4, is the only episode in the entire series to garner an Emmy nomination, because it's nothing short of brilliant.
After writing 22 separate posts about how terrible this book is, it has reached a point where we're not even sure how to simplify how much it sucks. Just in case you were looking for the tl;dr version (not to be confused with our usual snark which is more TOO TERRIBLE; PLEASE DON'T READ), we've put together a list of the stand-out awful moments, courtesy of one Christian Grey. Consider this your, "Fifty Shades Darker is Awful Talking Points Cheat Sheet."
Lorraine: Hello Traumateers!
We decided to pause for a wrap-up post for a couple of reasons: (1) - Have we mentioned we love finishing things? Man, we do. So pausing for a celebratory flail post is necessary.
(2) - We covered the entire book over the span of 22 weeks, which is a fucking lot, now that I think of it. Jesus, that's a lot of time dedicated to a load of crap. BRB. I didn't think I would need alcohol for a wrap up post, but alas.
Sweeney: It's always necessary for anything Fifty Shades related.
We decided to pause for a wrap-up post for a couple of reasons: (1) - Have we mentioned we love finishing things? Man, we do. So pausing for a celebratory flail post is necessary.
(2) - We covered the entire book over the span of 22 weeks, which is a fucking lot, now that I think of it. Jesus, that's a lot of time dedicated to a load of crap. BRB. I didn't think I would need alcohol for a wrap up post, but alas.
Sweeney: It's always necessary for anything Fifty Shades related.
Lorraine: Just when we seem to give up on the credits, it adds a shiny, new location to the map so we forgive it for being an occasional liar. I feel like this is an abusive relationship, Credits, but I don't know how to quit you. Today: King's Landing, Harrenhal, (new location) Riverrun, Winterfell on Fire, The Wall and Astapor.
Sweeney: I'm glad you got the episode where the credits tried to make nice again, because I don't think I'm ready to forgive just yet.
Lor: Fair. Lady Catelyn's father's dead body is pushed off into the sea for a Viking-type funeral as she stands solemnly by with the rest of those in mourning.
Sweeney: I'm glad you got the episode where the credits tried to make nice again, because I don't think I'm ready to forgive just yet.
Lor: Fair. Lady Catelyn's father's dead body is pushed off into the sea for a Viking-type funeral as she stands solemnly by with the rest of those in mourning.
Kirsti: Oh, Whedon. You really do like to deliver us ALL THE FEELS at once, don't you? Sigh.
Lorraine: Thanks for the upfront warning. We should consider giving our own version of TV Parental Guidelines. This episode is rated F for feels. Viewer Discretion is advised.
Sweeney: YES.
K: Other ratings? B for Boring, R for Rage Inducing, and and S for SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE!!!
Lorraine: Thanks for the upfront warning. We should consider giving our own version of TV Parental Guidelines. This episode is rated F for feels. Viewer Discretion is advised.
Sweeney: YES.
K: Other ratings? B for Boring, R for Rage Inducing, and and S for SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE!!!
Kirsti: We open with Willow standing in the dark in Oz's bedroom while the Piano of Feels plays. She sits on his bed looking teary, and sniffs then hugs one of his t-shirts. We cut abruptly to Buffy walking through that random area full of sofas where all the students seem to congregate. Riley is helping some girls to hang a banner, and Buffy stops to...appreciate the view, I guess, based on her head tilt. Or maybe she's a little jealous, because she gets a relieved smile on her face when he flips the banner down to reveal that it's for the UC Sunnydale Lesbian Alliance. He tells her that he's planned out the picnic they were talking about having, and Buffy's all "Uhhh, whut?" And then Riley channels me with "So, was that a conversation I actually had, or just one I was practicing?"
The moody music starts right away as Angel winds a clock and tests the levelness of his desk. Cordelia and Doyle enter. She gives us the exposition: Angel was in Sunnydale for three days and saw Buffy! Why isn't he brooding more? Cordy's guess is that his lack of brooding actually means that he's brooding more than usual. Cordy sees him take out a stake from his desk, assumes the worst, and rushes into the office telling him it's not worth it! He will meet someone else! Angel explains he just needs the stake to level his desk, which just seems like the most inefficient way to level anything. He is going to trip over that stake. For sure.
Sweeney: It's round! That doesn't even make sense!
Sweeney: It's round! That doesn't even make sense!
Buffy, in jeans and a leather jacket, approaches a tall, blond, slightly dorky looking guy who she immediately punches IN THE FACE. (S: BAMF BUFFY GREETINGS.) He puts his vampgrill on and says things were much better for the college-vamps back when she was in high school. Something like that. I don't want to consider this too deeply because how many vampires are parading around as college students and why didn't she know this before? Anyways, she dusts this vamp but gets a sense that something is still out there, lurking.
And then I LOL forever because it is in fact Angel lurking in some bushes. I like Angel more now, thanks to his own show, and I'm sad his intro back into Sunnydale is via lurking in bushes.
And then I LOL forever because it is in fact Angel lurking in some bushes. I like Angel more now, thanks to his own show, and I'm sad his intro back into Sunnydale is via lurking in bushes.
Lorraine: Ana is horrified because, if you'll remember, Kate has chosen Grey's birthday party as the moment to confront Ana about an email she found. Kate's all, "what the fuck is this? Who in the hell changes the subject line each time they send an email?!?!" Just kidding! There are far more horrible things in this particular email, as it contains the Sexy Times Contract. I'm sure we will now get a good discussion that will pave the way for future conversations between Ana and Kate on the disturbing nature of this relationship. Just kidding again! I'm on a roll! Instead, let's watch and see how this is all resolved within two pages:
Sweeney: Nothing new to report from the title credits. Winterfell is still on fire, and we're still upset about it. Astapor, home of Baby Fun Dip is still on the map. You know what is new this time? BRAN'S BACK. We begin the episode in what must be his dream, because he's running. Also, this kid is growing crazy fast. Don't child actors realize that they need to slow that shit down?
Related: I also suspect that allowing our youngest actors to grow up might be something of an added perk for the writers in dragging out the third book across two seasons. Again, haven't read them, but I can imagine that the age of the actors becoming an issue at some point.
Related: I also suspect that allowing our youngest actors to grow up might be something of an added perk for the writers in dragging out the third book across two seasons. Again, haven't read them, but I can imagine that the age of the actors becoming an issue at some point.
Sweeney: Angel is reading and Doyle is pestering him. I hate when people try to talk to me when I'm reading. LISTEN, I AM PERFECTLY CONTENT TO SPEND MY NIGHT READING AND I'D BE A LOT MORE CONTENT IF YOU'D SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE. Sorry. Pet peeve.
Lorraine: GOD YES. I'm not sitting here with a book open waiting for anyone to come talk to me. I'M READING.
K: SERIOUSLY. Why do people do this?
Lorraine: GOD YES. I'm not sitting here with a book open waiting for anyone to come talk to me. I'M READING.
K: SERIOUSLY. Why do people do this?
Sweeney: Hearts may break and SEASON FOUR MARCHES ON. Grab a drink and let the suckfest continue, because today we're going to get properly introduced to the season's atrocious arc. I hope you're ready.
K: I'm sure as hell not, and this is about my tenth time through.
Sweeney: The episode begins with a guy rambling about hot ladies in the cafeteria. I remember forever ago when one of you mentioned him re: black characters on Buffy and I really had no fucking clue who you were talking about, which says a lot about what a memorable, useful character he is. Or how well I blocked out this season.
K: I'm sure as hell not, and this is about my tenth time through.
Sweeney: The episode begins with a guy rambling about hot ladies in the cafeteria. I remember forever ago when one of you mentioned him re: black characters on Buffy and I really had no fucking clue who you were talking about, which says a lot about what a memorable, useful character he is. Or how well I blocked out this season.
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