Lorraine: Angel is sitting in the dark, because darkness helps concentrate the brood. Doyle turns on the lights and says it's Friday night and Angel should really out.
K: This sounds very much like something my mother would do to me. Except I'm not brooding in the dark. I'm just allergic to leaving the house.
Lor: He suggests drinks to toast the new business. Angel catches his drift and suggests that if Doyle wants to go out with Cordelia, he ask her out himself.
Enter Cordelia with "calling cards." I'm not sure why we're calling them that and not business cards. They have moment a of confusion about the Microsoft Clip-Art looking graphic on the front of it.
Lorraine: Buffy is in her dorm room as Kathy, her roommate, plays Cher's "Believe" and irons her jeans. Just stake her now, B.
Kirsti: Seriously. That song is the WORST. And the only person I've ever known who ironed jeans was my grandmother. She also ironed bras and underpants...
Lor: I have no comment about your grandmother's underpants.
After establishing that Kathy's been playing this song on repeat, Buffy heads to her closet to collect her (very unfortunate) coat. Kathy asks if she's going out and when B answers in the affirmative, expresses passive-aggressive concern that she will be in and out of the room at all hours of the night. But she's totally okay with that, giggle, giggle smarm!
Kirsti: Seriously. That song is the WORST. And the only person I've ever known who ironed jeans was my grandmother. She also ironed bras and underpants...
Lor: I have no comment about your grandmother's underpants.
After establishing that Kathy's been playing this song on repeat, Buffy heads to her closet to collect her (very unfortunate) coat. Kathy asks if she's going out and when B answers in the affirmative, expresses passive-aggressive concern that she will be in and out of the room at all hours of the night. But she's totally okay with that, giggle, giggle smarm!
Sweeney: Ana sits in front of Grey's fireplace emotionless and lost in internal monologue, even though there are at least a dozen people there with her, because Ana can't be bothered to interact with people who aren't Christian, and he has gone missing.
Lorraine: In an early reminder that Ana sucks, is not a real human being, and doesn't know how to interact with human beings, she tells us that she "blinks dispassionately" at Grace and Mia. DISPASSIONATELY. They've just lost a son/brother respectively, but this bitch who has known him for less than two months is so wrapped up in her own damn emotions describes herself as completely unaffected by their emotions.
What a stand-up character you've created, James. Truly.
Lorraine: In an early reminder that Ana sucks, is not a real human being, and doesn't know how to interact with human beings, she tells us that she "blinks dispassionately" at Grace and Mia. DISPASSIONATELY. They've just lost a son/brother respectively, but this bitch who has known him for less than two months is so wrapped up in her own damn emotions describes herself as completely unaffected by their emotions.
What a stand-up character you've created, James. Truly.
Lorraine: We may or may not be visiting King's Landing, Harrenhal, Pyke, Winterfell, The Wall, and Qarth. Please do not blame me for any opening credit misrepresentation.
Sweeney: The opening credits do what they want. Kind of like us.
Lor: Theon EWWWW Greyjoy rolls over to find he's alone in bed. We cut to some time later, outside of the castle where we see the guard Osha killed splayed out on the floor. Theon is reprimanding one of his men for letting the cripple boy (Bran Stark) escape. The man suggests that "the giant" took Bran, and Theon thinks this is even worse, as he let a half-wit escape with a cripple. They establish that Rickon is also missing, as well as Osha, who Theon was fucking, the man knowingly points out.
Sweeney: The opening credits do what they want. Kind of like us.
Lor: Theon EWWWW Greyjoy rolls over to find he's alone in bed. We cut to some time later, outside of the castle where we see the guard Osha killed splayed out on the floor. Theon is reprimanding one of his men for letting the cripple boy (Bran Stark) escape. The man suggests that "the giant" took Bran, and Theon thinks this is even worse, as he let a half-wit escape with a cripple. They establish that Rickon is also missing, as well as Osha, who Theon was fucking, the man knowingly points out.
The title is reassuring me a teeny tiny bit, as the LA girl of the batch. I'm going to give you guys the oh-so-hilarious Snark Squad speech about how we really planned to keep this short. I laugh preemptively, because I have to start this and my Twitter bio is about how I am an uncontrollable rambler. I drank a bit to prepare myself. I am also terrified to start this series because I am a one-sided Buffy/Angel shipper in that I am cool with Buffy moving on and having a life BUT ANGEL MUST LOVE HER FOREVER AND EVER UNTIL HE BROODS TO DEATH. I'm also preemptively confused as to how they're going to give him romantic subplots, because of the whole orgasm happiness = no-soul thing. I'm curious to see how we contrive our way around this.
Sweeney: Season four is here! I'll save my rant about this season for the wrap-up and get right to work, because I'm all about getting through this season as quickly as possible. Let the snark commence.
The season begins in the cemetery, I guess to comfort us that some things never change. Fortunately, Willow's hair did change for the better this season.
K: Possibly just to be contrary, I love Buffy's hair and hate Willow's. I have no explanation for this.
Sweeney: Buffy's hair is great too.
The season begins in the cemetery, I guess to comfort us that some things never change. Fortunately, Willow's hair did change for the better this season.
K: Possibly just to be contrary, I love Buffy's hair and hate Willow's. I have no explanation for this.
Sweeney: Buffy's hair is great too.
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