Previously: Mary Anne ignores a chain letter and is, on a wholly unrelated note, tormented by some girls who want her boyfriend. The girls blame Mary Anne for all the...
Previously: We discovered that Xander is surprisingly toned under his baggy outfits, that Little League coaches are terrifying, and that I have WAY weirder nightmares than anyone in Sunnydale without...
Previously: Before leaving to Georgia, Grey and Ana have sex on his desk and one can only hope he disinfected afterwards. At the airport, Ana learns that Grey has upgraded...
Previously: It’s really not worth recapping the demon-bot story because it’s the worst of the eight episodes we have recapped so far. The Snark Squad does not approve of that...
Previously: When we last left Sweet Valley, Steven’s girlfriend had got the cancer. There was a lot of time spent in hospitals, thanks to the twins also conveniently volunteering as...
Previously: Grey adds to his probable rapist cred by revealing that being told, “No” turns him on. Ana tries to barter sexytimes for information, and manages to get this excellent...
HEY, guess what? The eight minutes of Choose Your Own Adventure awesomeness we shared last week? Totally not everything. We have a short video of extras that didn’t make it...
Lor: What do you mean you don't have time to examine your surroundings? I now know that the upstairs lights are halogens and on a mother freakin' dimmer. Trust me. You've noticed your damn surroundings.
Ana compares Grey to a dangerous predator again. I'd say something about this being repetitive, but really, there are only so many nice ways to say, "he's probably going to kill me."
Sweeney: Obviously I have only read one chapter of this book, but the first thing I noticed was how murdery the writing sounds. If I knew nothing else about this story, I would automatically think, "Welp, this girl's about to get axe murdered on a creepy boat with bad porno lighting."
Sweeney: That is a screen cap of our WordPress dashboard before we hit publish on this post, making this the big one hundred. Obviously, it's time to break out the streamers, chocolate, and wine. Especially the wine. (Lor: Especially the chocolate wine!) (Good call)
In celebration of this momentous occasion, it was necessary for us to do a "classic" Childhood Trauma post. However, rather than just reading and recapping any old Goosebumps book, we each read a "Reader Beware: Choose Your Own Scare" book, and vlogged our experience
Lorraine: Even though I was involved in the brainstorming for this, reading back that explanation of why we decided to do this made me LOL. We seriously thought, "a Goosebumps book isn't BAD enough. We need something WORSE!"
Unfortunately for Mary Anne, and more importantly me, she is trapped in the eighth grade for the rest of forever and it’s just not a good look for her.
Our story begins with the usual redundant nonsense. Kristy is gross, but Mary Anne is lame and obsessed with her, so we get to hear all about it. Today our girls are placed into predictable developing-complex-characters-is-hard boxes by way of introducing them alongside their lunch choices. Kristy gets the school lunch so she can be gross, Dawn eats granola and tofu and shit, and Claudia loves junk food blah blah blah. Oh and also Kristy lives in a giant-house-no-jk-a-mansion and Claudia is “exotic.” The usual.
Previously: I’m not really sure what happened to Nancy, but we used a lot of Twilight gifs. — Lorraine: Let’s get this out of the way early: never go on...
Lorraine: We made some changes. I guess we should lead off with a thousand thank yous to all of you for your patience as we made these changes. They’ll be...
Lorraine: I’m not actually sure that this update will be at all snarky, mostly because it’s just me and I don’t have any material from Stine or Martin or Pascal...
Previously: Dawn has legit issues but we instead spend a whole book bringing Toddlers and Tiaras to Stoneybrook. — Sweeney: It has been a while, Traumateers. Lorraine: Yeeeeeah. Well. About...
Previously: The Baby-sitters said goodbye to Stacey and then hello to Mallory. They also went on vacation which isn’t exciting as it sounds. — Sweeney: I think I’m going to...
Plugin by Social Author Bio