Tessa is showered and composed by the time Steph gets back from the movies. She kind of wants to tell Steph about what happened (meaning the rubbing and kissing), but she also kind of doesn't want anyone to know. She makes a joke about how Hardin was his usual charming self and Steph looks at her real concerned. (S: Keep being concerned, girl.) The (brilliant as always) comments from last week got into how awful it would be to have a boyfriend who was an asshole to everyone but you. That is so damn true. I mean, why would you even want to be with someone who treated literfeally everyone like trash?
Oh boy. Here we go.
Tessa tells us that Hardin's hand is on her thigh and she hopes he never moves it. Sounds like an awkward way to live but okay. She studies his tattoos, making special note of an infinity symbol on his wrist. Apparently she's a tattoo whisperer (M: lol) because she knows that this one is extra special to him. He asks her what kind of food she likes, and Tessa takes a moment to let us know how refreshing it is that he asked her a normal question.
Tessa tells us that Hardin's hand is on her thigh and she hopes he never moves it. Sounds like an awkward way to live but okay. She studies his tattoos, making special note of an infinity symbol on his wrist. Apparently she's a tattoo whisperer (M: lol) because she knows that this one is extra special to him. He asks her what kind of food she likes, and Tessa takes a moment to let us know how refreshing it is that he asked her a normal question.
Okay, Hardin has Tessa in his car 90% against her will and we don't know where he is taking her. Everyone, we are on HIGH ALERT.
Samantha:
Captain Kirk is worried.
Mari: As he should be!
First up: Hardin takes Tessa down a gravel road and turns off the music so that she can hear all the little stones crunching beneath the tires. Tessa realizes that they are very, very alone, away from people and building and cars and also police. I added the last thing. HIGH ALERT remains; this seems awful murder-y.
Samantha:
Captain Kirk is worried.
Mari: As he should be!
First up: Hardin takes Tessa down a gravel road and turns off the music so that she can hear all the little stones crunching beneath the tires. Tessa realizes that they are very, very alone, away from people and building and cars and also police. I added the last thing. HIGH ALERT remains; this seems awful murder-y.
We begin at night, in some random office building. A middle-aged guy sits in his cubicle, looking around furtively as he copies something onto his laptop. Then we get an aerial shot of him sitting in a bathroom stall, opening said laptop with a screwdriver, and then removing a tiny storage chip from the hard drive inside it. Not sure that’s a thing, but let’s go with it. (S: The only way to survive SnarkTV, really.) He places the chip into a tricked-out quarter that opens to reveal a cavity that perfectly fits a tiny storage drive. Cool!
So Tessa can't focus on studying and decides to try a shower. Showers are a sort of magic so it helps relax her, and she realizes that she's nervous and confused when it comes to Hardin. I mean, can you believe it? She's nervous and confused when it comes to Hardin! Wow.
Marines: She "realizes" this even though we've suffered through 24 what-are-chapters of her being nervous and confused when it comes to Hardin. This girl is 139 characters short of a full Tweet.
Marines: She "realizes" this even though we've suffered through 24 what-are-chapters of her being nervous and confused when it comes to Hardin. This girl is 139 characters short of a full Tweet.
Tessa meets with Landon to study. She tells us that it took her an hour to organize all her notes after Hardin threw them around LIKE A DICK. I'm convinced that you can add LIKE A DICK to any action Hardin takes and it's 100% accurate. (S: This shall be fun.) Tessa wants to tell Landon about it but "I don't want him to think badly of me." Ummmmm, why would he think badly of you after some jerk threw around your stuff? (S: Yup, this reeks of victim blaming mentality.)
Credits, which now allude to the fact that the Baudelaires are with Dr. Montgomery. The song tells us up front that this adult is also going to be bad at adulting, so cool. On the bright side, I didn't know I could love these credits more, but they are CUSTOMIZED. I already know I want to rewatch all the credits once I finish the series and my memory is more fresh on what all the little tidbits are. (S: Agreed, this is a very exciting development.) (A: They were a little spoilery, but it brings me joy, so.)
Look away, look away, look away.
Didn't? Okay.
Samantha: This theme song gets stuck in my head in a big way.
Annie: This song has been keeping me up at night, stuck in my head.
Dani: As a child of the 80's, the "look away" lyrics just give me nasty Chicago 19 flashbacks.
Didn't? Okay.
Samantha: This theme song gets stuck in my head in a big way.
Annie: This song has been keeping me up at night, stuck in my head.
Dani: As a child of the 80's, the "look away" lyrics just give me nasty Chicago 19 flashbacks.
Hokay so, Tessa is getting ready to go to her first class of the day. I read the last chapter and I still have no idea time wise how we got here but it's a new day so I am not poking it. Landon is waiting for her and they start heading to class, you know, the one that Hardin is also in. Landon asks after Tessa's weekend and she says it was terrible. She asks him how his GF, Dakota, is and he becomes really happy and starts talking about her.
Tessa tells us that breakfast with her mom and Noah is going agonizingly slow. Like, no kidding baby girl, you got super drunk after 20 minutes last night and spent all night walking in circles (probably, because there is no other explanation).
Samantha: Eat some eggs and start an caffeine drip, Tessa. There is no other way, apparently.
Samantha: Eat some eggs and start an caffeine drip, Tessa. There is no other way, apparently.
I take full responsibility for getting us behind on this show. Between the December blues and life, this fell to the bottom of my list. The good news is that there are no new episodes until March so we have time to play catch up! Also, the still of this episode on the ABC app is Leo looking as whiny as Conor from Angel.
Dani: That alone would have derailed my motivation.
Marines: I already watched this episode but that description makes me wish I could unwatch it.
Dani: That alone would have derailed my motivation.
Marines: I already watched this episode but that description makes me wish I could unwatch it.
You guys I just want this night to end. Was there ever another plot to this story? I feel like one party night bled into another party night and now we're trapped in a college party hellscape.
Tessa is walking away from the frat house at 4 am. I kind of refuse to believe that a taxi service isn't 24 hours in a college town but okay. She walks for an HOUR AND A HALF and omg I'm so exhausted thinking about it. How the heck far away was this frat house? (M: Ah, yes, the across town frat house. Classic.) She finally reaches campus and stop into 7-Eleven for "a cup." IDK maybe it's because I'm not a coffee drinker but I was hella confused over what the heck she meant.
Tessa is walking away from the frat house at 4 am. I kind of refuse to believe that a taxi service isn't 24 hours in a college town but okay. She walks for an HOUR AND A HALF and omg I'm so exhausted thinking about it. How the heck far away was this frat house? (M: Ah, yes, the across town frat house. Classic.) She finally reaches campus and stop into 7-Eleven for "a cup." IDK maybe it's because I'm not a coffee drinker but I was hella confused over what the heck she meant.
Tessa and Hardin are kissing, and she describes his warm tongue and cold lip ring. She also makes sure to let us know that she doesn't really know what's she's doing here, lest we think her a hussy, with all the kissing and all. (S: Wow this is just a painful block of a paragraph.) She goes on in detail about Hardin pulling her back on his bed and how this is just such a wonderful moment until she remembers Noah.
We open on Daxam on The Day that Krypton Died. Fireballs are raining down on the planet and Mon-El and the Prince are running. They find a Kryptonian Ship that some dead emissaries left behind. Mon-El insists that the Prince escape in it but the Prince admits he cannot fly it. Mon-El gets in to pre-program the destination and then the Prince shut him in because he's wounded and wants to go down with his planet.
This show is based on some books I read many, many moons ago. I remember them vaguely. I also paid actual money to see the movie adaptation in theaters. That I remember more clearly. So, here we are.
Samantha: I read and loved these books too. I remember them well and push them at the children who come into my library all the time. "Terrible stuff happens to these kids but the fun is seeing how they take care of each other and think their way out!"
Samantha: I read and loved these books too. I remember them well and push them at the children who come into my library all the time. "Terrible stuff happens to these kids but the fun is seeing how they take care of each other and think their way out!"
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