Previously: A party, but make it mystery. Coins, but make them burial. — The Tale of the Fallen Sea Queen Marines: Bluffs. Creepy children saying a creepy rhyme. Nancy Drew’s Voice...
Previously: Dead Lucy took Nancy to a time capsule. — The Mystery of Blackwood Lodge Marines: Nancy is staring at her computer, her Voice Over asking Dead Lucy to help her...
Previously: A ghost jumped all up into George. — Marines: George, possessed by the spirit of Tiffany, henceforth known as Tiffany!George, walks into the Hudson house. She leans over a...
Previously: A storm with thunder, lightening and ghosts. — The Haunted Ring Marines: Nancy watches Bess sleep while Nancy Drew’s Voice Over [NDVO] gives us the quick and dirty on Bess as...
Previously: Bucket water. — The Curse of the Dark Storm Marines: Nancy and Ned are asleep in his bed. Ace is biking through town, a storm brewing in the sky above...
Previously: Nancy is kind of a murder suspect and maybe a ghost did it. — Marines: We start one second after last episode: Nancy is in the attic, looking at a...
Nancy Drew won 2019’s Fall TV Poll. Dear ole Nan has ties to the very first posts here on Snark Squad. Let’s see what new shenanigans the people at The...
Note: A version of this recap was originally published on May 5, 2011, early in the days of Snark Squad. Nicole and I have always toyed with the idea of...
Nighttime in the woods. Spencer wanders around in a bridal dress, getting tangled in the trees. She is being stalked by a black clothed figure, then we hear a stabbing sort of sound and she gasps. Is something exciting about to happen, you ask? Or something about to be revealed? PSYCH! No. Not even close.
“48 hours earlier” appears across the screen. Ah, that old trope.
Rosewood's one coffee shop. All four Liars are discussing the fact that Paige tipped the cops off about Ali being alive.
“48 hours earlier” appears across the screen. Ah, that old trope.
Rosewood's one coffee shop. All four Liars are discussing the fact that Paige tipped the cops off about Ali being alive.
Lab. A scientist we can't see hits a button and electricity crackles. He tells someone else that the prototype has passed every test and is working. In the shadows, a man says that "working" isn't the correct word because that would apply only to machines. The man comes out of the shadows so that we see he's in a motorized chair.
Kirsti: I flail with excitement because it's Owen from Vicar of Dibley!!! Excuse me while I spend the rest of the episode expecting him to talk about how he's late because his sheep exploded or something.
Kirsti: I flail with excitement because it's Owen from Vicar of Dibley!!! Excuse me while I spend the rest of the episode expecting him to talk about how he's late because his sheep exploded or something.
Spencer is in her room unpacking the bag she took to rehab and snapping at her mom. She apologizes and says that she's just irritable because of that whole 'kicking her drug habit' thing. Mariska Mom takes it in stride, which is the least she can do after being a horrible mother 95% of the time. Spencer has some weird flashbacks to the night Ali died and her mom suggests she get some rest.
Jessica: Well, PLL solved Spencer's rehab the same way Gotham solves everything — skip to the end.
Jessica: Well, PLL solved Spencer's rehab the same way Gotham solves everything — skip to the end.
We open at Versailles in the height of its opulence. Courtiers run and scream from an unseen threat. A man in a red velvet coat approaches a woman in a dress four times wider than she is, and tells her that they have to go. It's Sophia Myles, who I know better as Beth from Moonlight and Beth from Spooks. Also as Fanny Price's little sister from the Mansfield Park movie.
Marines: MOONLIGHT! It is my far away dream to recap some one-season-wonders a la Firefly, and Moonlight is way high on that list. Also, Sophia Myles was dating David Tennant at this point, which is fun.
Marines: MOONLIGHT! It is my far away dream to recap some one-season-wonders a la Firefly, and Moonlight is way high on that list. Also, Sophia Myles was dating David Tennant at this point, which is fun.
Aria cries as she fills her friends in on the ever-increasing creepiness of Ezra Fitz. See, he didn't kiss a random girl and THEN find out she was 16. He knew all along that she was a minor but he's awful and decided to exploit her anyway. Additionally, he had a "brief" relationship with Alison when she was 14. So. I actually just got really, really gaggy.
Sara: It seems like the word 'relationship' is not really accurate considering it was between a FOURTEEN YEAR OLD and a grown man in college. Gross gross gross gross.
Sara: It seems like the word 'relationship' is not really accurate considering it was between a FOURTEEN YEAR OLD and a grown man in college. Gross gross gross gross.
We'll start this with an announcement: Sweeney is officially bowing out of these recaps. It's mostly because she needed to reorganize how she spends her time and this was an easier thing to take off her plate. She can probably tell you all her reasoning in the comments, because she's still going to try and hang out there and perhaps keep up with the series. That said, Sara will be joining us as the third recapper and our official Snow. YAY SARA!
Now episode:
GILES. I'm glad we're getting this out of the way so soon in the episode because GILES, GILES, GILES!
Now episode:
GILES. I'm glad we're getting this out of the way so soon in the episode because GILES, GILES, GILES!
A group of monks approach a castle and a bald one, the head monk presumably, tells a man that they want the house, and they will be taking it now. The owner is like LOL okay, do you want my wife, too? But Bald Head Monk isn't kidding around and says that he will take that shit with his fists. He kicks Home Owner to the ground and a fun(ny) fight scene develops as Bald Head Monk orders the other monks to remove their hoods, revealing a group of Not Monks who are actually Ninjas with badass fighting sticks. They fight their way through the entire castle, taking it over. Learning martial arts would be so be worth it if it kept you from having to sign a 30-year mortgage loan.
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