Spencer, Emily, and Hanna are breaking into EzrA's classroom in the middle of the day (Saturday? School day? Who knows.) to try to find something that will convince Aria that Ezra is a lying liar who lies. It's cool that they're already prepared for Aria being an asshole who's going to be all, "NU UH" about it.
Marines: "HE DOESN'T LIE. Only to people who would care he's dating his student, duh."
Sara: Spencer finds an envelope with Ali's journal in it, so they take off with it. Before they can leave, they hear footsteps approaching and watch as Mona lets herself in to Ezra's classroom.
We pick up where we left off, with the boys phoning Papa Winchester and Meg answering. She tells Dean he'll never see his father again, and Dean hangs up. He starts grabbing his stuff and tells Sam they have to go because the demon knows they've got the Colt and now that it has Papa Winchester, it'll come after them next. Sam's all "GOOD. COME AT ME, BRO!", but Dean insists that they're leaving.
Cut to the Bromobile. Dean says that they need to work out where Papa Winchester's being kept so they can trade him for the Colt. Sam suggests that Papa Winchester might be dead already, and Dean gets angry. Sam backs down and wants to know how they'll find him. "We need help," Dean replies, and the Bromobile bros on through the night.
Cut to the Bromobile. Dean says that they need to work out where Papa Winchester's being kept so they can trade him for the Colt. Sam suggests that Papa Winchester might be dead already, and Dean gets angry. Sam backs down and wants to know how they'll find him. "We need help," Dean replies, and the Bromobile bros on through the night.
At Rosewood's One Coffee Shop For Girls Who Need to Learn About Sleeping In, the girls are sitting on the couch that they seem to always commandeer as Aria tells them that Ezra sent an, "I'm here" text but otherwise, hasn't communicated with her. I guess he's too busy meeting his child to text his child-girlfriend. Spencer is still acting all shifty and excuses herself to get a coffee refill, leaving the rest of the Liars to discuss whether or not Detective Wilden has already read the Biology Cluebook, meaning he knows what they know. Which is what we know and translates to, "three seasons of very, very little." Something like that.
Sweeney: In the years of working on this blog, I've learned that a lot of people are making very good money by taking things they've already written (or that someone else already wrote) and basically throwing a thesaurus at the situation in order to come out with a "new" thing, for which they can be paid again.
Sweeney: In the years of working on this blog, I've learned that a lot of people are making very good money by taking things they've already written (or that someone else already wrote) and basically throwing a thesaurus at the situation in order to come out with a "new" thing, for which they can be paid again.
It's been a while, friends, but I'm confident that things are ever as we remember in Rosewood.
Sweeney: A place in which dramatic music and zoomy cameramen keep trying to tell you that EPIC THINGS ARE HAPPENING but the actual rate of change suggests that nothing ever happens here.
Lor: Exactly. That's the city motto, I think.
We start the episode with a small peek at TOBY ABS! I mean it's dark and stuff and we're mad at Toby for being part of the A team and making Spencer cry, but yes. Abs are near.
Sweeney: A place in which dramatic music and zoomy cameramen keep trying to tell you that EPIC THINGS ARE HAPPENING but the actual rate of change suggests that nothing ever happens here.
Lor: Exactly. That's the city motto, I think.
We start the episode with a small peek at TOBY ABS! I mean it's dark and stuff and we're mad at Toby for being part of the A team and making Spencer cry, but yes. Abs are near.
CARRY ON MY WAAAAYWARD SOOOOOOOOON. Sorry. It's the pointy end of the season, and that means we start with a full recap of the season and the show's unofficial theme song. It's a sure sign that heartbreak isn't far away.
Blue Earth, Minnesota. The camera pans over a stained glass window and down to a priest, flicking through a Bible. Meg walks in, and says she needs someone to talk to about all the terrible things she's done. The priest says salvation was created for sinners, earning himself a shiny gold star
Blue Earth, Minnesota. The camera pans over a stained glass window and down to a priest, flicking through a Bible. Meg walks in, and says she needs someone to talk to about all the terrible things she's done. The priest says salvation was created for sinners, earning himself a shiny gold star
So my first experience with The O.C. came during a very lonely summer in my life, after I'd graduated high school. See, I graduated a semester early which meant I couldn't really hang out with my high school friends anymore because it was weird but also that I couldn't make any college friends because I was the mid-semester starter and didn't know anyone. So I worked at Blockbuster every night and spent my two free rentals a week on old TV shows. This is the story of how my love affair with The O.C. started. I stayed up until 3 AM every night for weeks and missed many, many 8 AM English classes because of this shit.
Lorraine: I know this is the first recap, but I can already tell this will be my favorite, "The O.C. and me" story.
Lorraine: I know this is the first recap, but I can already tell this will be my favorite, "The O.C. and me" story.
Manning, Colorado. A man sits at a bar, flipping through a book that looks very similar to Papa Winchester's Filofax of Shadows. The bartender addresses him as Mr. Elkins and asks if he'll be having anything else to drink. He says yes, and as she fixes him a drink, another patron makes a comment about how creepy the guy sitting alone is. Which is funny coming from a guy who is also sitting alone at a bar and flirting with a waitress who is way out of his league. She shares that Mr. Elkins is a nice old man who lives up in the canyon by himself and flips through that old book on a regular basis. And also, he's kind of a nut.
Three people dressed in leather come in, and Mr. Elkins immediately freezes in his seat while discreetly checking them out.
Three people dressed in leather come in, and Mr. Elkins immediately freezes in his seat while discreetly checking them out.
After the horror of THE LATEST BAD THING, the girls sit around Montgomery Manse drinking tea and brooding with Aria. Hanna breezes in like a breath of fresh air, with her bubbly personality and bag of sick coping trashy pop culture, which is how Snark Ladies deal too.
Lorraine: Any time I'm sick, I think, "at least there's more time for TV!" #adult
Sweeney: The girls discuss whether or not Meredith Center Stage is sincere in her confusion over this latest development with Byron.
Lorraine: Any time I'm sick, I think, "at least there's more time for TV!" #adult
Sweeney: The girls discuss whether or not Meredith Center Stage is sincere in her confusion over this latest development with Byron.
I'm going to start by saying that this episode gives me the wiggins.
We open with a shot of a creepyass painting of a family c.1910: husband, wife, three kids, cut throat razor. You know, the usual. The camera zooms out as a slightly tipsy couple in formal wear discuss their terrible decision to purchase said painting at a charity auction courtesy of said charity auction's open bar. They make out a little and the guy tells his wife he'll lock up and meet her in the bedroom. She giggles her way upstairs as the zoomy cameraman shows us the painting again. We see the Painted!Father's head turn towards Drinking Leads To Bad Decisions Guy, who locks the doors and sets the alarm.
We open with a shot of a creepyass painting of a family c.1910: husband, wife, three kids, cut throat razor. You know, the usual. The camera zooms out as a slightly tipsy couple in formal wear discuss their terrible decision to purchase said painting at a charity auction courtesy of said charity auction's open bar. They make out a little and the guy tells his wife he'll lock up and meet her in the bedroom. She giggles her way upstairs as the zoomy cameraman shows us the painting again. We see the Painted!Father's head turn towards Drinking Leads To Bad Decisions Guy, who locks the doors and sets the alarm.
Fitchburg, Wisconsin. Exterior: A big beautiful house, with a voiceover of a small child saying Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep, which is super creepy. I will be sure to discourage my child from saying that prayer and also singing creepy children's songs. Sorry, kid. Mama doesn't want to accidentally punt you across the room in a moment of fear.
Kirsti: Valid life choice. Especially as the version that I've always heard here is the "if I die before I wake/I pray the Lord my soul to take" one. Which, YES, let's teach small children that they might die in their sleep. That's a GENIUS plan!! O.o (Vaguely related - I'm going to spend the rest of this episode singing Enter Sandman, because reasons.)
Kirsti: Valid life choice. Especially as the version that I've always heard here is the "if I die before I wake/I pray the Lord my soul to take" one. Which, YES, let's teach small children that they might die in their sleep. That's a GENIUS plan!! O.o (Vaguely related - I'm going to spend the rest of this episode singing Enter Sandman, because reasons.)
Aria is watching a black and white film when her father comes in and PAUSES THE MOVIE. WHO ARE YOU, BYRON MONTGOMERY? What murder are we still trying to figure out? Alison's? Byron did it. He pauses other people's movies and is therefore evil.
Really, he wants to talk about the fire someone started at that charity race last episode. Aria says they talked about it enough when Shitbag Montgomery was accusing her and the Liars of setting it. As it turns out, the principal called Byron because they've identified the real culprit. Byron's all, "sorry," and Aria uses her Big Eyes to give him a death glare. She grabs the control and unpauses the movie. Byron tries to chat about the movie, saying the dude keeps a severed head in a hatbox and Aria looks at him like, "OH MY GOD, DAD. NOW YOU ARE GOING TO SPOIL THE MOVIE?"
Really, he wants to talk about the fire someone started at that charity race last episode. Aria says they talked about it enough when Shitbag Montgomery was accusing her and the Liars of setting it. As it turns out, the principal called Byron because they've identified the real culprit. Byron's all, "sorry," and Aria uses her Big Eyes to give him a death glare. She grabs the control and unpauses the movie. Byron tries to chat about the movie, saying the dude keeps a severed head in a hatbox and Aria looks at him like, "OH MY GOD, DAD. NOW YOU ARE GOING TO SPOIL THE MOVIE?"
Richardson, Texas, two months ago. A group of teens walk through the woods in the middle of the night and find an abandoned log cabin. Because they're idiots, they decide to head inside. There are all kinds of weird occult-y symbols painted on the walls and floors. The dude manning the flashlight tells his friends that "they" say there's a ghost who hides in the root cellar and strings up girls who stumble into the house. One friend is sceptical, wanting to know where he heard the legend. From his cousin, apparently. Sceptical Guy grabs the flashlight and leads the way down to the cellar. He scoffs about how all the cellar contains is random junk, but the others are staring in horror at something behind him. He turns and sees a girl hanging by her neck from the rafters. He screams and lightning flashes us to the Not!Credits.
Chicago, Illinois. A girl walks home late at night, listening to her iPod. She starts seeing a ghostly wind that has a big shadow and whispers really annoyingly, so she takes off running for her apartment. Smart move. She immediately arms her security system and breathes a sigh of relief. Then for some reason, she doesn't turn one damn light on in the whole place as she drinks a beer and listens to her messages on her answering machine. Right, because every 20 something owns an answering machine these days? And even if they did, they sure as shit wouldn't have three messages just from one night away at work.
Anyways, the camera pans back and we watch the shadows on the wall as something creeps up behind Beer Girl and stabs her in the back, blood squirting everywhere.
Anyways, the camera pans back and we watch the shadows on the wall as something creeps up behind Beer Girl and stabs her in the back, blood squirting everywhere.
Hanna is laying in bed in the middle of the night when Mona creeps up on her like a total fucking creep. Mona tells Hanna that she was just released from Radley with a clean bill of mental health (lol k) and Hanna is like, "You were released in the middle of the night??" which is a valid question but an even more valid question would be, "HOW DID YOU GET INTO MY HOUSE?" Why do these girls not all have security systems in their big, fancy, rich people homes?
Lorraine: Shit, I'd settle for locks in my big, fancy, rich people house.
Sara: Mona is worried because she has to start public school at Rosewood School For Not Having School, and she knows that everyone will be talking about her and how she tried to kill some people. (S: Girl, middle-of-the-night B&E is not really the way to go convincing people that you're not crazy.)
Lorraine: Shit, I'd settle for locks in my big, fancy, rich people house.
Sara: Mona is worried because she has to start public school at Rosewood School For Not Having School, and she knows that everyone will be talking about her and how she tried to kill some people. (S: Girl, middle-of-the-night B&E is not really the way to go convincing people that you're not crazy.)
Hibbing, Minnesota. A middle-grade kid sits up in bed watching monster movies. He hears a noise outside and goes to the window to see his neighbour taking out the garbage. The kid watches as said neighbour hears a scrape-y noise and bends down to look under a car. Neighbour Guy gets dragged under the car, screaming. The kid pulls his curtains shut in a "Well, fuck. That's above my pay grade" way.
Cut to two state police interviewing LOL NOPE Kid [LNK] and his mother. Obviously, the deputies are, in fact, the Winchesters.
Cut to two state police interviewing LOL NOPE Kid [LNK] and his mother. Obviously, the deputies are, in fact, the Winchesters.
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