We open in the imprinting room with Paul approaching and then curiously fondling the chair. He walks around it a bit before sitting down and making a constipated face.
Sweeney: Watching TV I often find myself wondering at the frequency with which the direction was clearly, "Now look real constipated!" This has to be on purpose. I refuse to believe this constipated face epidemic is pure coincidence.
Marines: Plus, the only reason to sit in the nefarious, mind wiping chair is because you are constipated and you need to sit ASAP because of discomfort.
We start at someplace called Camp Skylark. Prue is staring at a lake and she broods all the way into a flashback of the day Mama Halliwell drowned. We watch her being zipped up into a body bag, while Baby!Prue yells for her mommy. A police officer scoops her up, but then just puts her down within dead-mommy-viewing distance. Thanks a lot, cop. In the present, Prue is still crying and staring at the lake.
Stephanie: I had no idea this was how Mama Halliwell died. Was I supposed to?
Stephanie: I had no idea this was how Mama Halliwell died. Was I supposed to?
Imprint room. Echo is in the chair and Paul is nearby A smarmy handler, who I probably just think is smarmy because he kind of looks like the guy who raped Sierra (S: He also wiggles his brows around all creepy-like when he talks), tells Echo she's got a big day. She gives the appropriate blank reaction and gets lowered for the imprint. Paul is worried about Echo glitching, as we're back in the regular timeline, probably soon after the Omega stuff. Topher is his usual, "nothing can go wrong! It'll be great!" self, and it's weird to have Paul being the voice of, "you sure?" and not Dominic or Boyd. Where's Boyd?
Sweeney: "WHERE'S BOYD?" INDEED. "Needs More Boyd" is a general note I have for most of always.
Sweeney: "WHERE'S BOYD?" INDEED. "Needs More Boyd" is a general note I have for most of always.
We open at a museum with a tour guide describing a legendary book known as the Akashic records, thought to contain an account of all of time’s significant events. Everyone from Hitler, to probably, most likely warlocks has been looking for it. The guide leads his group to a tablet of dead language engravings and explains that anyone who can decipher it will learn the location of the records. As the tour guide speaks, a shifty eyed guy watches another guy who’s examining the tablet and taking notes. Note Guy announces that he’s figured it out and runs off leaving Shifty to look even shiftier. Maybe don’t talk out loud about your deciphering skills near a tablet that no one can decipher?
GUYS. I was not expecting this when we decided to start recapping Dollhouse. This customary dance is not only for finishing a thing, but for also for such a pleasant experience.
We've mentioned pretty much all of this throughout the recaps, but I think it's safe to say that this has been the show most improved by the recapping process. It's one thing for a show to simply withstand the scrutiny (Firefly, Veronica Mars) but I truly think this show is BEST when examined closely. When you think about what that means for plot, writing, world building and characterization? I'm just amazed by what Joss Whedon created here and pretty sad I spent so much time thinking this wasn't good.
I'm absolutely certain that last episode was the last one I saw during my first watch. If I recall correctly, Fox didn't air this episode, so THIS IS EXCITING! Snow status activated.
Stephanie: I'm jealous! Can I be a kinda-snow because I don't remember what happens?
Sweeney: It's a white Christmas around here! WINTER HAS COME.
Mari: Felicia Day! starts us off in some clearly combat sort of scenario.
Stephanie: I'm jealous! Can I be a kinda-snow because I don't remember what happens?
Sweeney: It's a white Christmas around here! WINTER HAS COME.
Mari: Felicia Day! starts us off in some clearly combat sort of scenario.
We start in nature with two guys who clearly want to be bear-mauled. By that I mostly mean that they are in nature and seeking out a particular cave. Their faces are really dirty and I don't know why. I guess they rolled most of the way here? Hesitant Dirty Face thinks the cave looks small for a mine shaft, but Stupid Dirty Face is all, "s'whatever. Let's go in."
Inside the cave/shaft, they quickly come upon "get the hell out of there" things like cob webs, a skeleton and bats. (S: They're like, "Oh hey, look, a skeleton." Totally normal for those to be lying around near cave entrances.) Stupid Dirty Face thinks this is all great and believes the gold they are looking for is in or behind a wall with ominous red markings. He starts chipping at the wall (?) and very soon, smoke pours out of a crack.
Inside the cave/shaft, they quickly come upon "get the hell out of there" things like cob webs, a skeleton and bats. (S: They're like, "Oh hey, look, a skeleton." Totally normal for those to be lying around near cave entrances.) Stupid Dirty Face thinks this is all great and believes the gold they are looking for is in or behind a wall with ominous red markings. He starts chipping at the wall (?) and very soon, smoke pours out of a crack.
It's another night at the hippest place in SF, P^3. There's a heat wave and Phoebe's so hot, she's rubbing ice all over her body and attracting the male patrons. Piper shoos the onlookers off and notes that Phoebe’s burning up. Phoebe says she doesn't feel sick, she feels hot and aroused. Nope. I don't want this episode.
Marines: Meanwhile, after I saw that opening? I did a little NOT MINE! dance.
Marines: Meanwhile, after I saw that opening? I did a little NOT MINE! dance.
Previously: Paul broke into the Dollhouse with Alpha-in-disguise. — Omega Sweeney: Picking up shortly after her and Victor’s run-in with Alpha at the end of the previous episode (SORRY IT’S BEEN...
We open with a very lame night at P^3. People are leaving because this show is so awful the club is dead.
Prue tells Phoebe that she thinks they are going to have to take up that offer. Phoebe responds, "please tell me about that offer even though we've presumably already talked about it off screen!" Apparently, some guy named Chris Barker has offered them a no-interest loan they can pay back anytime. Prue says they aren't going to tell Piper about it, though, because.
Stephanie: They're at The Bronze, where you have an 85% chance of dying, but it's still preferable to this.
Prue tells Phoebe that she thinks they are going to have to take up that offer. Phoebe responds, "please tell me about that offer even though we've presumably already talked about it off screen!" Apparently, some guy named Chris Barker has offered them a no-interest loan they can pay back anytime. Prue says they aren't going to tell Piper about it, though, because.
Stephanie: They're at The Bronze, where you have an 85% chance of dying, but it's still preferable to this.
We open at Buckland where Prue is appraising a tacky painting of a gothic castle. She points out that the composition is unusual but it’s really not. It’s just a castle sitting in the middle of the canvas and it's definitely a photograph that's been shopped to look painted. The painting belongs to a super nervous woman. She wants to sell it as soon as possible and she doesn’t care how much money they get for it. Her behavior leads me to believe that this is an Evil Painting. The scene ends on an ominous zoom in shot of the painting, so definitely evil.
Phoebe and Piper talk on the phone about how Phoebe crashed Prue’s car into a pole. It looks like Piper is prepping stuff for Wanna-Bronze. I can’t wait.
Phoebe and Piper talk on the phone about how Phoebe crashed Prue’s car into a pole. It looks like Piper is prepping stuff for Wanna-Bronze. I can’t wait.
Guys, I wrote the first twenty minutes of this recap and lost it all because of some combination of the Internet and Wordpress hating me. There was no autosave. It took me so long to recap this crap because of some combination of busy life times and me resenting this episode because I had to watch it again. Did you hear me? I HAVE TO WATCH A PORTION OF AN EPISODE TWICE.
Stephanie: I'm so sorry that you had to go through such a traumatic experience. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you.
Stephanie: I'm so sorry that you had to go through such a traumatic experience. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you.
When Mari asked me if I’d like to take on another show and told me Supernatural and Charmed were both available, I immediately jumped on this one because I like pain.
Marines: Um, I don't care why you're doing it. HOORAY!
Steph: Come along, friends, as we enter another season of utter nonsense.
Marines: Um, I don't care why you're doing it. HOORAY!
Steph: Come along, friends, as we enter another season of utter nonsense.
A man rummages through a pile of trash in a dark alley. He sees a hand and instead of being like, "hell no!" he goes in for a closer look. The hand reaches out and grabs him. What were you expecting, guy? (S: Even worse than Mickey investigating that crazy trash can.)
At an orphanage, Echo reads Briar Rose (Sleeping Beauty) to a group of children because no one can read better than a doll. Just think of all the jobs dolls are stealing from capable people who need them. Plus, dolls cost way more money! Anyway, a girl standing away from the rest of the children calls the story crap.
At an orphanage, Echo reads Briar Rose (Sleeping Beauty) to a group of children because no one can read better than a doll. Just think of all the jobs dolls are stealing from capable people who need them. Plus, dolls cost way more money! Anyway, a girl standing away from the rest of the children calls the story crap.
Rich people stuff like large lawns and horseback riding: a woman rides up on a horse and calls out to a man named Jack that she'll be done shortly and he should behave himself. Rich Lady (Margaret) blows him a kiss and rides off. Jack is sitting with a group of his buds and they joke about not actually ever playing tennis, and just sitting around day drinking. It's all fun until one of his bros sees Margaret's horse, suspiciously sans Margaret.
Echo is in the chair just after an imprint. She sees Adelle and greets her with a familiar "Addy?" Adelle looks pained as she tells Echo!Margaret that she's very sorry to be the one to break the news. Margaret is dead.
Echo is in the chair just after an imprint. She sees Adelle and greets her with a familiar "Addy?" Adelle looks pained as she tells Echo!Margaret that she's very sorry to be the one to break the news. Margaret is dead.
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