This episode begins with lots of horror movie-esque flickering of lights in the imprint room. I can see Topher and Boyd and other people I can't identify. Echo and Sierra are down in the main room, looking up at the weirdness through the frosted glass windows. Sierra asks what's happening and Echo answers that "she made a mistake - now she's dead," and then a shot is fired and blood spatters on the window. This seems contrary to the idyllic, cushioned environment the Dollhouse aims for.
12 Hours Earlier: Echo is in clothing pulled from the BDSM Escort section of the Bad Girl Styling closet explaining to Boyd that it's not about the pain but trust.
Paul is in his apartment without a shirt. (M: Very important detail. I like the way you recap.) Someone knocks at the door and it’s Echo in a very boobalicious black dress. She ditched an engagement to deliver a message. That message is that she has something Paul needs - her mouth on his mouth. Paul’s all pissy because he's not a client, but they move to the couch and make out a ton anyway. Mellie appears from the shadows to be jealous. Paul insists that he has something Echo needs (dem abs, dat back) so they keep with the kissing. Mellie interrupts again, saying Echo doesn’t need anything because she’s dead. Paul pulls away from Echo, who’s now pale and corpsified.
Ew.
Ew.
Seven episodes until we got a episode named something Echo-ish. That's some self-restraint.
Sweeney: I only give them partial credit, since they named the girl with all the glitchy remembering stuff issues ECHO. Half points.
Mari: We're nothing if not fair.
We flashback to Caroline and Adelle, making the deal we first saw in Ghost. All Caroline wants is to be left alone, but Adelle says they are past that.
Sweeney: I only give them partial credit, since they named the girl with all the glitchy remembering stuff issues ECHO. Half points.
Mari: We're nothing if not fair.
We flashback to Caroline and Adelle, making the deal we first saw in Ghost. All Caroline wants is to be left alone, but Adelle says they are past that.
We begin with an ominous fuzzy screen title card telling us that we're about to see Testimonial Documents in the DOLLHOUSE Interviews in Los Angeles. A reporter speaks into the camera explaining that some people in LA know of "The Dollhouse" as something seedy. Cut to an interview with a random super sketchy dude, insisting that "everybody knows" it exists. Continuing his report, the journalist explains that dating back to the 1980s, The Dollhouse is LA's most famous urban legend and he explains quite accurately what it is before clarifying that "most everybody" regards it as science fiction. This report isn't about the legitimacy of The Dollhouse so much as a series of MAN ON THE STREET interviews with people about their reactions to the idea of The Dollhouse. (M: You can't see me, but I've giving you an imaginary Title Star, girl. Good job.) (S: Since nobody actually gets it this episode, I'm just gonna go ahead an take it.)
First I need to share that when I realized I would have to recap this episode, I yelled out, “NO!” That should be enough to let you know how I feel about it.
Lorraine: A common Snark Lady problem. In fact, Kirsti was known to work out who would get what episode during entire seasons of Buffy. That moment of realization that an episode is yours is best drowned in Goblets of Win.
Sweeney: Not knowing what trauma lies ahead is one of the occasional perks of Snow Life.
Lorraine: A common Snark Lady problem. In fact, Kirsti was known to work out who would get what episode during entire seasons of Buffy. That moment of realization that an episode is yours is best drowned in Goblets of Win.
Sweeney: Not knowing what trauma lies ahead is one of the occasional perks of Snow Life.
Mountains Somewhere. We hear a woman moaning and I'm pretty sure it's done specifically in a way so the first thing you think is, "sexy time." But no. Some woman is giving birth and now I just feel all awkward. (S: Best PSA ever! YOU THINK SEXY TIME FEELS GOOD, KIDS? WELL THIS IS WHERE IT LEADS.) Echo is the midwife and WHY? WHY WOULD ECHO BE THE MIDWIFE? Are these parents on the run from the law? Is that baby the second coming of some deity? Did part of the job include scaling the mountain before assuming midwiferly duties? NO? No need for a doll to be the midwife.
Stephanie: This show obviously takes place in an alternate universe where everyone is terrible at their jobs, thus dolls are necessary to keep society functioning.
Stephanie: This show obviously takes place in an alternate universe where everyone is terrible at their jobs, thus dolls are necessary to keep society functioning.
We begin in the Cohen kitchen. Sandy, Mama Cohen, Ryan and Seth are standing around looking somber on account of Marissa being in the hospital thanks to all those Mexican painkillers. They’re too upset to eat bagels, (L: What even?) (RIGHT?) so Mama Cohen sets up the premise of the episode. Ryan has a meeting with the dean of Rich Kid High, and Sandy and his eyebrows are starting a new job. Just as they’re about to get ready for the day, the phone rings and they all turn to look at it like, “MARISSA!” Personally, I’d rather eat bagels than deal with her.
Lorraine: Also, if they just stare at the phone, they are all doing phone calls wrong.
Sweeney: Or really, really right, since I hate talking on the phone.
Lorraine: Also, if they just stare at the phone, they are all doing phone calls wrong.
Sweeney: Or really, really right, since I hate talking on the phone.
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