Sweeney: IT'S A BSC POST. WUT? I know. Madness. I don't know why I'm doing this myself either, except that I was recently (LOL, I started writing this two months ago, so, uh, "recently") reminded of how much fun it is to hate Kristy Thomas.
Lorraine: No, but seriously. Sweeney told me there was a Baby-sitters post ready for comments, and it took me a moment to remember what that even meant.
Sweeney: On that note, the book begins with this:
"You know," said Kristy Thomas, "I have never been hit in the face with a pie."
Previously: Mary Anne ignores a chain letter and is, on a wholly unrelated note, tormented by some girls who want her boyfriend. The girls blame Mary Anne for all the...
Unfortunately for Mary Anne, and more importantly me, she is trapped in the eighth grade for the rest of forever and it’s just not a good look for her.
Our story begins with the usual redundant nonsense. Kristy is gross, but Mary Anne is lame and obsessed with her, so we get to hear all about it. Today our girls are placed into predictable developing-complex-characters-is-hard boxes by way of introducing them alongside their lunch choices. Kristy gets the school lunch so she can be gross, Dawn eats granola and tofu and shit, and Claudia loves junk food blah blah blah. Oh and also Kristy lives in a giant-house-no-jk-a-mansion and Claudia is “exotic.” The usual.
Previously: Dawn has legit issues but we instead spend a whole book bringing Toddlers and Tiaras to Stoneybrook. — Sweeney: It has been a while, Traumateers. Lorraine: Yeeeeeah. Well. About...
Previously: The Baby-sitters said goodbye to Stacey and then hello to Mallory. They also went on vacation which isn’t exciting as it sounds. — Sweeney: I think I’m going to...
Previously: Mallory was accepted into the BSC and Stoneybrook was a hot, racist mess. — Lorraine: Our first Baby-sitter Super Special! One million imaginary internet points to the reader who...
Previously: Stacey left and we said goodbye to her like 87 times. —Nugs: I feel like I should get this out before the Ladies of Snark make some kind of...
Previously: A new girl in a hippie skirt tries to break Claudia away from the BSC. All’s well that ends with a poorly crafted rhyming poem, however and the BSC...
Previously: Kristy’s cuntiness is rivaled when a snob in her neighborhood makes fun of her dead dog. Their book long hatred is solved, however, when Kristy throws pizza on the...
Previously: Mary Anne had her series defining moment: SHE GOT A CAT. Wait, no, I mean she got a boyfriend. Sorry, it was just a lot of excitement in one...
Previously: There was a ghost at Dawn’s house. But it wasn’t really a ghost, it was a person. Lame. — Lorraine: At the onset of this blog, five whole months...
Previously: Stacey falls for an older lifeguard. Despite the fact that he gave her her whistle, and we spent too much time discussing the analogy there, nothing comes of her...
Previously: Claudia’s grandmother Mimi suffers a stroke and it brings dumb Claudia and lame Janine closer together. We do not recommend getting strokes in order to strengthen your family. —...
Previously: Kristy complained about living in a mansion a lot, because she’s the kind of cunty person who would. She also manages to make her mother’s wedding day all about...
Previously: Dawn has to baby-sit for some terrible kids that are actually not terrible at all. Their mother on the other hand should’ve been carted away by CPS. — Sweeney:...