Previously: Ana once again demonstrated her terrible sense of priorities by choosing shit-beating over being worshiped. She and Grey attend the most nonsensically elaborate charity ball ever. After, they find...
Sweeney: Happy Friday, Traumateers! This is something of a half-assed post, because it’s the holidays and we’re feeling extra lazy and entitled to our laziness. It’s you know, the usual:...
Previously: Ana attends a charity event hosted by Grey’s parents with balls in her vagina. That’s not a metaphor for anything; there were actual balls in her vagina. — Lorraine:...
Sweeney: Hello, Traumateers! We’ve been having lots of holiday fun, but what with today being the hypothetical apocalypse and all, we figured that there was no better way to celebrate...
Previously: Ana called Grey out for taking her to a salon in his Empire of Domestic Violence Emporiums, but when the Ghost of Submissives Past got a gun, he insisted...
The Twelve-Fingered Boy by John Hornor Jacobs Release Date: February 1, 2013 Source: ARC Pre-Order: Powell’s || Amazon Fifteen-year-old fast-talking Shreve doesn’t mind juvie. He’s good at dealing contraband...
Previously: We found out that the Christian Grey Empire of Domestic Violence Emporiums has three salons. FANCY. Lorraine: Ana is trying get information from the receptionist and confirms that the...
Previously: Christian Grey upped his own stalker game by buying the company where Ana works. Ana briefly expressed valid, genuine concern, but then he smiled at her and she reverted...
Undeadly by Michele Vail Release Date: November 20, 2012 Source: ARC Order: Powell’s || Amazon The day I turned 16, my boyfriend-to-be died. I brought him back to life....
Previously: Grey wins Ana back with threats of violence and a pre-loaded iPad full of the songs he probably listened to while sitting outside her window. — Lorraine: Ana says...
Fracture by Megan Miranda Release Date: January 17, 2012 Source: Purchased Order: Powell’s || Amazon Eleven minutes passed before Delaney Maxwell was pulled from the icy waters of...
Previously: Ana was unable to function following their break-up. Grey abducted her and, in keeping with the ridiculous timeline of this relationship, the break-up lasted five days. — Sweeney: After...
The Diviners by Libba Bray Release Date: September 18, 2012 Source: Purchased Order: Powells || Amazon Evie O’Neill has been exiled from her boring old hometown and shipped...
Previously: EL James does not include any sort of recap in chapter one of this book. Even J.K. Rowling reminds us in every book that Harry Potter is a wizard....
The League of Strays by L.B. Schulman Release Date: October 1, 2012 Source: ARC (Netgalley) Order: Powells || Amazon When a mysterious note appears in Charlotte’s mailbox...