Previously: Wuthering Heights, we are so sorry. — Samantha: Tessa heads over to the professor to explain her one absence. He tells her that on the one day she missed,...
Previously: Hardin loved Tessa but then he didn’t lol. — Marines: Tessa negotiates a good deal on an okay 2010 Corolla. She calls her mom with the news, but her mom...
Previously: Truth or dare gone bad. — Samantha: Tessa wakes in the morning to find Hardin sitting in a chair watching her sleep. I’m torn because he’s the creepy worst,...
Previously: Bella wasted yet another chapter faffing about and doing boring shit like picking up fake ID for her insta-baby and her insta-baby’s future husband. — Kirsti: The Volturi arrive....
Previously: We loved Midge Maisel and Joel Maisel is a fuckboy. — Marines: Coming to children’s classics as an adult is always an experience. With the upcoming theatrical release of A Wrinkle in...
Previously: Truth or dare gone bad. — Marines: After Tessa starts sobbing, Landon asks if he really heard Hardin say he loved her. So, you know, if we haven’t said it...
Previously: Christmas gifts and promise bracelets. — Catherine: This chapter opens with Bella sneaking out on Edward. Are we lucky enough for them to get a divorce? Probably not. Marines: If a...
Previously: Truth or dare gone bad. — Samantha: So Tessa legit takes off running down the street when she realized Hardin came after her. Trust those instincts, girl. She reaches...
Previously: Molly sat on Hardin’s lap. — Marines: Tessa follows Zed to the kitchen, psyching herself up so that she can endure the party, which she should just probably walk out...
Previously: Bella got some fake IDs. — Annie: Bella returns to the Cullens’ and she hears Edward at the piano. He starts playing her lullaby in case we needed reminding of...
Previously: New vampires in town, so new offensive stereotypes too! — Annie: This chapter opens with Bella on the phone, reminding her father that they’re on a need-to-know basis and that...
Previously: Hardin was “nice” for two seconds and Tessa got an internship. — Samantha: We begin with Tessa kicking herself for thinking that Hardin would be different. I mean you’re not...
Previously: Nightmares, and not only the ones caused by this story. — Marines: Tessa wakes up and shoves Hardin off of her, but then thinks about how much more she loves...
Previously: Some other vampires met Renesmee and it was even more boring than you’d expect. — K: Life at the Cullen residence is suddenly hella complicated on account of a) the...
Previously: The Volturi are a month away. Really gearing up for action here. — Marines: Apparently the last chapter ended in the middle of a damn scene I can’t even remember,...