Previously: Edward dreams of murder. — Marines: Please recall that Bella is asking Edward the few questions he allowed her to ask. She wants to ask one more question. Eddie is...
I know you guys have all been waiting to find out what question Edward is going to ask Bella, right? It must be BIG because Stephenie Meyer decided to end her previous chapter and start a whole new one!
Here we go!
"Can I ask just one more?" I pleaded as Edward accelerated much too quickly down the quiet street."
Aw, man! Stephenie! You cheated!
Edward allows Bella one more question but his lips are "pressed together in a cautious line." Is this like his "careful eyes"? Are all of my features reckless? Are they bad to the bone?
Here we go!
"Can I ask just one more?" I pleaded as Edward accelerated much too quickly down the quiet street."
Aw, man! Stephenie! You cheated!
Edward allows Bella one more question but his lips are "pressed together in a cautious line." Is this like his "careful eyes"? Are all of my features reckless? Are they bad to the bone?
Previously: Disco Ball hanging in trees, more a stalker than we originally knew. — Marines: Hello! Extended breaks are a thing around Snark Squad, but things went especially south in the...
On the girly roadtrip to Port Angeles, Jessica wibbles about boys and dates while forcing them to listen to "whiny rock songs". Despite this, Bella informs us that "the estrogen rush was invigorating". I…don't know what the fuck that means. I think she's trying to say that it was nice to hang out with other teenage girls, but she's also told us multiple times that she gives zero fucks about Jessica and Angela, so…yeah.
Marines: I died laughing. I've been a girl all of my life and I've never experienced an invigorating estrogen rush. Should I be asking for my money back?
Marines: I died laughing. I've been a girl all of my life and I've never experienced an invigorating estrogen rush. Should I be asking for my money back?
Previously: Rosalie, ugh, am I right. — Kirsti: When your uterus wakes you up at 6.15am during lockdown and you can’t get back to sleep because the painkillers haven’t kicked in...
Pop quiz time everyone!
This chapter starts out by revealing Bella's feelings about basketball.
Does she:
a) Hate it
b) not care about it
or c) she's the worst.
Did you guess? That's right! The answer is she's fucking the worst and all of the above.
This chapter starts out by revealing Bella's feelings about basketball.
Does she:
a) Hate it
b) not care about it
or c) she's the worst.
Did you guess? That's right! The answer is she's fucking the worst and all of the above.
Previously: Edward decided to hang out with and warn Bella. — Catherine: This chapter starts with Edward getting back to school after rescuing Bella against her will from blood last chapter....
We open the chapter with Bellwaaaaah doing homework but really listening for her Wow. Free. Truck. to be returned. Even though she's concentrating really hard on it, she doesn't hear it when it's returned. Apparently the Cullens are magic. Or the truck is. Or something.
Marines: My theory is that one of the Cullens or Hales is a The Truck Whisperer. I'm so good at this.
Kirsti: My theory is that they carry it in rather than driving it, simply because it will fuck with Bella's head.
Marines: My theory is that one of the Cullens or Hales is a The Truck Whisperer. I'm so good at this.
Kirsti: My theory is that they carry it in rather than driving it, simply because it will fuck with Bella's head.
Previously: Edward kills a spider for Bella and falls in love at midnight. — Annie: The chapter opens with Edward following Bella using his creepy powers to watch her through people’s eyes....
To start, we did indeed hear the news of the gender-flipped Twilight reimagining. I've already started skimming through it, mostly to decide what to do with it. I think recaps are firmly off the table, only because it's like 90% copy/paste/find/replace pronouns. It doesn't make sense to recap the same stuff all over again (a lesson we're kind of learning over on the Grey recaps, which at least has the "benefit" of a POV switch...). I do think it's worth pointing out some things about the reimagining, namely all the stupid little changes Meyer made because of gender norms and sexism, I guess.
Previously: Edward saves Bella from a van and regrets it a lot. — Marines: Edward starts by telling us that high school is no longer purgatory, but actual hell– torment, fire...
Continuing on from yesterday's total lack of a cliffhanger, Bella tells us all about her Edward dream. In it, "what dim light there was seemed to be radiating from Edward's skin." Because he glows as well as sparkling, apparently. Oh. Sorry. I'm getting ahead of myself. Anyway, Dream!Edward continually walks away from Bella no matter what she does. LOL.
Marines: I'm going to go ahead and call a red flag on dreams of your crush glowing in the dark and running away from you. Also WHAT THE CHEATERY, SKIN-GLOWING NARRATION HELL? Is Bella a prophet? Please just tell this Snow if the answer is yes so I can stop asking HOW SHE KNOWS SO MUCH.
Marines: I'm going to go ahead and call a red flag on dreams of your crush glowing in the dark and running away from you. Also WHAT THE CHEATERY, SKIN-GLOWING NARRATION HELL? Is Bella a prophet? Please just tell this Snow if the answer is yes so I can stop asking HOW SHE KNOWS SO MUCH.
Previously: The book didn’t end, despite my desperate hopes that it would. — Kirsti: I don’t know if it’s because I’m reading on a Kindle this time, but every chapter thus...
Previously: Edward runs away and then runs back to sniff Bella and wonder why she’s so spicy. — Catherine: One of our lovely commenters reminded me on the first recap of this...
Bella is sad again. I know you're shocked.
This time it's because she starts the chapter by waking up to fresh snowfall. As someone who hates snow myself, I can't really blame her for this. But, ya know... I'm going to.
But worse than the snow is that apparently all of the rain from the day before has frozen solid and now everything is icy. Bella's first thought is, of course, about how she's going to manage to walk on all this ice since she has so much trouble walking in general. What must it be like to be so clumsy that your first thought is always whether or not you're going to survive a walk to your driveway?
This time it's because she starts the chapter by waking up to fresh snowfall. As someone who hates snow myself, I can't really blame her for this. But, ya know... I'm going to.
But worse than the snow is that apparently all of the rain from the day before has frozen solid and now everything is icy. Bella's first thought is, of course, about how she's going to manage to walk on all this ice since she has so much trouble walking in general. What must it be like to be so clumsy that your first thought is always whether or not you're going to survive a walk to your driveway?