We open in the living room at Chez Summers. Willow is filling Xander and Anya in on the Trio. There's another, "who the fuck is Andrew?" line before Xander asks if they should go over and beat up the Trio given that they know where they live and all. Willow informs him that Buffy already tried, but that the Trio had cleared out of the basement. They left a bunch of stuff behind though, and Buffy pilfered some of it.
Willow fangirls for a moment over the idea of spellbooks and charmed objects before Xander gives her a look. Anya, meanwhile, wants to know where Buffy is because she's going to be late for her first day.
Here's a confession: Buffy is currently super depressing and weird so I haven't exactly been looking forward to spending 2-3 hours with an episode. Alas. The only way to get on the other side of season 6 is to do the damn thing, so here we go. But first, here, an adorable puppy gif. Have warm feelings:
Sweeney: That's so amazing and precious and I hope you have plans to do this again at the end because that's when I tend to feel most in need of a cute animal gif.
K: A+ and 1430, Lor. Puppies make everything better.
Sweeney: That's so amazing and precious and I hope you have plans to do this again at the end because that's when I tend to feel most in need of a cute animal gif.
K: A+ and 1430, Lor. Puppies make everything better.
Tara and Dawn wake up on the couch, having fallen asleep watching TV. Tara quickly realizes that it's weird that nobody (neither Buffy nor Willow) came home and woke them up. They check the bedrooms (K: And I laugh forever because 20 year olds who make their beds that perfectly? OH, PLEASE.) and Dawn's worried when she realizes that neither one is home. Tara says they probably just lost track of time. Segue over to Buffy waking up naked in the trashed building with Spike. She panics and asks Spike when the building fell down. He's not really sure, because of all the sex.
Wolf howl. (FUCK, I FORGOT TO ASK LORRAINE TO DO THE WOLF HOWL IN DALLAS.)
Wolf howl. (FUCK, I FORGOT TO ASK LORRAINE TO DO THE WOLF HOWL IN DALLAS.)
After a whopping one minute and twenty three seconds of previouslies (seriously?!), a middle aged couple are being cornered by some guys in an alley. Buffy puns her way into the picture and goes in for the fight, only to discover that the guys doing the cornering are human and she's just interrupted a run of the mill mugging. She hands the lady back her handbag and ushers the couple away.
The muggers, meanwhile, are complete idiots and decide to attack Buffy. She pins one and is heading for the other when a shape jumps out of the darkness and hits the second mugger. Buffy yells "NO!" but it's too late - Spike grabs his head in pain and the muggers get away.
The muggers, meanwhile, are complete idiots and decide to attack Buffy. She pins one and is heading for the other when a shape jumps out of the darkness and hits the second mugger. Buffy yells "NO!" but it's too late - Spike grabs his head in pain and the muggers get away.
Cemetery, night, and I'm a little sad this won't lead to a big number. Buffy turns around suddenly to find that Spike is right behind her. He wants to talk bout the fact that they totally kissed, but Buffy's taking the, "I don't want to talk about it" approach to this all. That's disappointing. I mean, not because I want them to kiss again per se, but because I hate back and forth in relationships. It killed Bangel for me right at the end. JUST KISS HIM, BUFFY. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.
K: I'm sorry, but on behalf of those of us who fangirl, I'm gonna go ahead and add in Spike's line here: "We...we kissed, you and me. All Gone With The Wind, with the rising music, and the rising...music, and what was that, Buffy?" Hehehehehehehehe.
K: I'm sorry, but on behalf of those of us who fangirl, I'm gonna go ahead and add in Spike's line here: "We...we kissed, you and me. All Gone With The Wind, with the rising music, and the rising...music, and what was that, Buffy?" Hehehehehehehehe.
The episode begins with a totally delightful bit of opening credits manipulation that reminds me of Bewitched. The credits feature some fun upbeat music that continues even after the episode ends with the title.
Lorraine: I feel like this episode was telling us right from the beginning that it was going to be fantastic. I was sold 10 seconds into the episode. There was happy seal clapping involved.
Kirsti: The first line of my notes says "These credits remind me of Bewitched!". I'm glad we established our mindmeld only seconds into the episode, Sweeney.
Lorraine: I feel like this episode was telling us right from the beginning that it was going to be fantastic. I was sold 10 seconds into the episode. There was happy seal clapping involved.
Kirsti: The first line of my notes says "These credits remind me of Bewitched!". I'm glad we established our mindmeld only seconds into the episode, Sweeney.
We open at the Magic Box, where they're having their Halloween Bone-anza, and they should REALLY have thought up a different name for that because that does NOT sound like something I would want to attend. (L: Lots of bone jokes lately...) ANYWAY. Xander's dressed as a pirate and is trying to tell a small child dressed as a fireman that he found the bottle of fireflies he's holding off the coast of Kathmandu. The small child is dubious, and I am too because apparently Xander's never cracked an atlas in his life.
Lorraine: Xander gets points though, this being Talk Like a Pirate Day and all. I swear that's a thing. Also, I clearly have to point out that this child is Beans from Even Stevens. That is all.
Lorraine: Xander gets points though, this being Talk Like a Pirate Day and all. I swear that's a thing. Also, I clearly have to point out that this child is Beans from Even Stevens. That is all.
Buffy gets home with a bucket of fried chicken, only to find that Willow, Tara, Giles and Dawn are already having dinner. It's says a lot about how not-okay things are that this makes everyone super uncomfortable. Giles even says they haven't eaten, even though we can totally see the food. Buffy assures everyone that it's okay, but they all make a big show of really wanting Buffy's chicken.
Kirsti: Oh, Giles. Don't ever change. Also, this scene made me realise that we're only just at the beginning of Buffy's attempts at bringing things home for dinner, and now I has the sads.
Sweeney: THANKS, KIRSTI. NOW I DO TOO.
Kirsti: Oh, Giles. Don't ever change. Also, this scene made me realise that we're only just at the beginning of Buffy's attempts at bringing things home for dinner, and now I has the sads.
Sweeney: THANKS, KIRSTI. NOW I DO TOO.
We begin the episode in the Summers Basement, an ominous sounds warn us of Buffy's foe...which turns out to be a leaky water pipe. Dawn suggests calling a plumber, which Buffy declines. Naturally, the pipes explode in a rather comic book fashion.
Kirsti: Oh, Buff. Don't use Slayer Strength on the pipes, honey. It was bound to end badly.
Lorraine: Pipes and ice cream machines, remember?
Sweeney: Indeed, though I wasn't a big fan of the ice cream machine bit. This silliness feels strange but also welcome. Don't worry, the show will cut that out soon enough. Roll credits.
Kirsti: Oh, Buff. Don't use Slayer Strength on the pipes, honey. It was bound to end badly.
Lorraine: Pipes and ice cream machines, remember?
Sweeney: Indeed, though I wasn't a big fan of the ice cream machine bit. This silliness feels strange but also welcome. Don't worry, the show will cut that out soon enough. Roll credits.
We start immediately after the conclusion of Bargaining. The Scoobies head out of the alley where they killed the Lame-o Biker Demon, with Willow saying that Buffy has to be back at Chez Summers. Xander claims to know a shortcut through the alleys, but Anya's less than convinced about how safe it is on account of half the town being on fire. Just as Xander's in the middle of a speech about how he's got wikkid skillz, a bunch of Lame-o Bikers appear behind them and blaze past on their way out of town, causing Xander to mildly wet his pants. Contrivancely, the Lame-o Bikers are all spontaneously aware that their leader is dead and are running for the hills. Okay, show. Whatever.
Sweeney: I'm glad they are being eliminated as hastily as they were introduced.
Sweeney: I'm glad they are being eliminated as hastily as they were introduced.
Buffybot is surrounded by the Lame-O Biker Demons. She babbles about a total systems failure, and how she has to get back to Willow for repairs. One of the Lame-Os knocks her down with a chain.
In the woods, Tara and Anya have found Xander and a passed out Willow. Xander thinks the Biker Demons won't bother them in the woods, but Anya isn't convinced. Xander adjusts his plan to "split up and meet at the Magic Box." He's stay with Willow, since he can carry her. Anya asks about the Buffybot, but Xander proclaims it a loss. The gang all take off running.
We cut back to the cemetery, and in a shot through one of the spokes of a motorcycle wheel, we see the Lame-Os taking great pleasure in repeatedly kicking the Buffybot. I have robot feels.
In the woods, Tara and Anya have found Xander and a passed out Willow. Xander thinks the Biker Demons won't bother them in the woods, but Anya isn't convinced. Xander adjusts his plan to "split up and meet at the Magic Box." He's stay with Willow, since he can carry her. Anya asks about the Buffybot, but Xander proclaims it a loss. The gang all take off running.
We cut back to the cemetery, and in a shot through one of the spokes of a motorcycle wheel, we see the Lame-Os taking great pleasure in repeatedly kicking the Buffybot. I have robot feels.
We begin with another round of previouslies that essentially summarize the entire show. A series of clips that give the viewers the Cliff Notes version of all the show's major characters (except Giles -- the previouslies don't tell you much about his story. Poor Giles.) These previouslies end with Buffy's death and tombstone, with the VO: "You have to be strong Dawn -- for me."
K: BRB, dealing with All the Nostalgia Feels.
Sweeney: After that we cut to the cemetery where Spike, Tara, and Giles are chasing a vamp who gets away. I totally forgot about this scene!
K: BRB, dealing with All the Nostalgia Feels.
Sweeney: After that we cut to the cemetery where Spike, Tara, and Giles are chasing a vamp who gets away. I totally forgot about this scene!
Sweeney: Guys, we’ve now watched five seasons of Buffy. These posts are awesome ways for us to celebrate finishing things, because of how infrequently we do that and how excited we...
It's finale time, kids! Can we all just stop and marvel at how this season seemed to last about five minutes while season 4 dragged on for a freaking millennium? Also, we've now made it through a whopping ONE HUNDRED episodes of Buffy. I feel like that warrants celebration.
Lorraine: I'm really feeling all nostalgic over Buffy. I know we have two full seasons to go, but it's just that much more over. I'm sorry. I'm clouding our celebration with my attachment-to-TV feels. Here. Have a happy dance gif:
Sweeney: I'm glad it's also a well dressed happy dance gif. This is a big event and we must dress accordingly.
Lorraine: I'm really feeling all nostalgic over Buffy. I know we have two full seasons to go, but it's just that much more over. I'm sorry. I'm clouding our celebration with my attachment-to-TV feels. Here. Have a happy dance gif:
Sweeney: I'm glad it's also a well dressed happy dance gif. This is a big event and we must dress accordingly.
After the previouslies, we're at Glory's. Her Flattery Demons are packing up all her stuff and talking about how they're already behind schedule. Glory, meanwhile, is trying on some kind of robe thingy. She overhears her minions talking smack about her, and wonders out loud why she doesn't have the urge to kill them for it. She follows it up with a ramble about all the chaos she's going to cause when she gets home, then asks why she isn't happy. "What do you think?" she says, and the camera pans across to a bound, gagged, and crying Dawn sitting in a chair.
Cut to the petrol station. Spike informs the gang that he's successfully hot wired Ben's car, so they can leave.
Cut to the petrol station. Spike informs the gang that he's successfully hot wired Ben's car, so they can leave.