Buffy the Vampire Slayer S05 E05 – Family is the key.

Lorraine: We start with a couple of monks running through darkened halls. One monk trips and falls and this is my stress dream. Not the monks or darkened hall part, but the part where I'm running away from something and keep tripping and falling. At least it isn't teeth falling out.
K: Mostly, monks running through darkened halls made me assume that the TARDIS was going to be turning up shortly. I'm still disappointed that it didn't.
Lor: Fair.
A title card tells us that this is happening two months ago.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer S05 E04 – Engorgio!

Sweeney: The episode begins with Buffy surveying the cemetery from the top of a crypt, clearly in full-on hunter mode. She runs around, staking vampires before they even come out of the ground. She's interrupted by Riley, who stakes a few vampires before Spike also shows up and also fights off a vampire. Buffy is annoyed by all the interruptions (K: Can't say I blame her. Get your own sacred calling, yo.) and takes this frustration out on Spike with some pointless stay-away-or-I'll-make-more-empty-threats-at-you banter.
Kirsti: I mostly love how indignant he gets when she's like "EW YOU JUST TASTED YOUR OWN NOSE BLOOD." Vampire, Buff. What did you expect?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer S05 E03 – Neither can live while the other survives.

I think I’m being punished by Whedon. First I get a Xander-centric episode, and then later today I get a bunch of insane dream sequences in Angel? What the hell did I do to deserve this?! SIGH.
Lorraine: Pfft. No sympathy from me. Get back to me if Whedon ever does an episode about anal lube.
K: Fair.
We open in the Fruit Roll Up Basement, where Xander, Anya, Buffy and Riley are watching kung fu movies. Anya’s arm is in a sling on account of the head wound she incurred in the last episode turned out to be an arm injury instead? IDK.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer S05 E02 – Harriet the Spy

There were split opinions on the whole randomly throwing out the fact Buffy has a sister thing. It was strange to me, but I also know that I'm not the exact audience it was written for. I only mean that I had 10 years of pop culture to tell me Dawn would show up eventually and a bit of foreshadowing last season told me she was probably Buffy's sister. That's a ton of build-up all leading to about 10 seconds last episode where it was all, "AND BUFFY HAS A SISTER LOLOL."
Sweeney: When I first watched last summer I sent our group of bloggy friends a series of DAFUQ? emails.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer S05 E01 – Mind Control Does Not Equal Consent

Sweeney: Season 5 has mixed reviews from all of you, but anything beats S4 in my book, so let's get started and leave that disappointment behind us. Buffy is lying in bed with Riley and unable to sleep because she knows her relationship is doomed. Or because she knows there's a vampire out there waiting to be staked. Whatever. She gets up, runs through the cemetery and gets to staking before returning to bed, knowing that it's just her doing the slaying and no more Initiative, and all is well in the world.
Lorraine: I got all sorts of Buffy answering the call of duty vibes from this scene. A lot of those very! significant! moments in Restless told us about Buffy coming up against her slayer nature and really belonging to this world.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer S04 Wrap Up

Although we have discussed our difficulties with ranking in the past, this was probably the easiest list for me to put together. I moved episodes around a lot less than I did in S2 & s3. Aside from the final two episodes, which I have gone back and forth on, I have no reservations about the list. That said, my list basically fell into three groups (1) Good Episodes (2) #MEH Episodes -and- (3) Never Again Episodes. I'm not surprised by how many fell into the last category, but for all of our S4 bitching an moaning, group one is actually almost half the list. The biggest problem with this season is that it's so hit-or-miss. There are several episodes that are just AWFUL, and the Never Again section on this season is definitely longer than previous season for me.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer S04 E22 – Spoilers

Sweeney: This finale is a weird one because we had our showdown with the big bad in the last episode, and yet, here we are, with another episode to go. Whedon has a whole. freaking. lot. of megaweird crazypants foreshadowing to do, and that's probably a big part of why opinions are split on this episode. I'm stoked to experience it with the gift of hindsight for the first time. Granted, it makes for a hard episode to recap because of all the epic DAFUQery. Let's see how this works out for us.
Lorraine: As the resident know-nothing-er, this will be interesting for me as I know that it's full of foreshadowing but I still have no foresight. I'll be over here putting around the episode!

Buffy the Vampire Slayer S04 E21 – Epic bullshit breaks

We open at Crispydale High and Buffy searching for Riley. LOL, NICE TRY. He's hanging out in Adam's cave, being called 'brother' and being given a pep talk. "What have you done to me?" Riley asks, and Adam replies that the Evil Bitch Monster [Professor Walsh] gave Riley a behavioural modification chip, just like Spike's. Except that instead of being in his brain, it's in his chest and is tied into his central nervous system. LOL, OKAY SHOW. WHATEVER.
Sweeney: Since I've already ranked this episode really high on the strength of, quite frankly, one scene, I feel obligated to make it clear how much bullshit I am willing to put up with for certain things. Epic bullshit break #1!

Buffy the Vampire Slayer S04 E20 – Boring vs. Broody

We've complained plenty about season four. I mean, nitpicking is what we're all about, because it's funny, but season 4 has been tough to get through so I know the straight complaining may have increased lately. That all said, I can't believe that we're in fact almost done with the season. Someone mentioned in the comments a bit ago that we've passed the half way point for the entire series. CRAZY, YOU GUYS.
Sweeney: Halfway. As in, like, we'll finish it one day? Does not compute. O_o
Lor: I KNOW.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer S04 E19 – It’s complicated.

It's necessary to warn everyone that this is a get-the-tissues-ready episode.
Lorraine: I was gonna put it on here if you didn't. Team Feels unanimously agrees.
K: Damn. We missed a prime episode to vote the last episode V for Vomit-worthy. Also, Team Heartless Cow agrees that this episode is full of feels. Brace yourselves.
Sweeney: The episode begins with Tara and Willow being adorable.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer S04 E18 – Nudge nudge wink wink

First of all, Maurice Sendak would be spinning in his grave to know that the title of his book had been stolen for the trainwreck that is this episode. (S: +1, especially as I just declared my love for this book on this blog.) Second of all, I HATE THIS EPISODE SO MUCH OMFG. Right. Now that we've got that over with, let's get this horrific trainwreck over with, shall we?
We open in the cemetery where Buffy, in a pair of shiny snakeskin pants, is fighting a vampire. You know, just for a change. She throws him across the cemetery to Riley who starts punching while Buffy loads her crossbow. Riley holds the vamp still for Buffy to shoot, then a blue horned demon appears out of nowhere to rescue the vamp. She drops the crossbow and heads into the fray.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer S04 E17 – Jonathan Bieber

We start with a classic Buffy beginning: our titular character is fighting off a vampire. We quickly see that the Scoobies are with her, being helpful where they can be and pointing her in the direction of a vampire who scurried away. They follow him into a crypt and find a nest of vampires who are all busy noisily slurping on a person. It's funny to me that sometimes vampires seem to insta-drain someone, but here we get more of an extended meal. I wonder if the quick slurp ever gives them vamp-indigestion.
Sweeney: I feel like this line of thinking can't go anywhere good.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer S04 E16 – Mood Ring Fashion

I wish I could tell you that I'm kidding when I say that I spent a good fifteen minutes debating how to name Faith/Buffy in this episode -- whether Faith!Buffy would mean Faith in Buffy's body or Buffy in Faith's body. Obviously that would be the most insane, confusing thing ever. For the sake of this recap, they will be referred to by the character they are, not the body they are in, though I'll occasionally clarify when I feel it's necessary. That is, Faith-in-Buffy's-body will be Faith and Buffy-in-Faith's-body will be Buffy. Got it? Cool.
Outside the Summers home, Joyce and Faith-as-Buffy are being told by a detective (LOL Sunnydale cops) that they're so glad they have "Faith" in custody because they've been looking for her.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer S04 E15 – Coma o’ wrath

We open in Buffy's room at Chez Summers. She and Faith (YAY) are putting clean sheets on Buffy's bed, so clearly it's one of those freaky mindmeld dream things from the end of season 3. There's a crapton of foreshadowing awesomeness (seriously, you guys. Whedon is a GENIUS), (L: BUFFY HAS A LITTLE SISTER?!) (SPOILERS, SWEETIE) and then Faith rudely bleeds all over the clean sheets. "Are you ever going to take this thing out?" she says to Buffy, and we see that Buffy's still holding the crazy murder knife in Faith's gut. Buffy twists the blade and we dramatic music over to a hospital room. There's thunder and lightning, and we see a comatose Faith in a hospital bed. The dramatic music turns suspenseful and then the credits roll without a damned thing happening.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer S04 E14 – Balls all over your wall.

Buffy is doing her version of the "previouslies" for the Scooby Gang, as this episode starts right after the last. The more I think about the whole Buffy in the Initiative development, the more unlikely it seems to me that they brought her in against their better judgement and then 10 minutes later were all LOL. JAYKAY! She's a liability and we're gonna kill her. But that is indeed what happened.
K: Agreed. It's totally stupid. Unless the whole thing was an attempt to pump her for information about what the Slayer is/does, and then when the Evil Bitch Monster realised that she couldn't chop off bits of Buffy and put them into Adam, she put her in the Too Hard Basket?