Previously: I don’t really remember, but I think we spent forty years in a desert? With Grey making domestic violence jokes and something about boats which don’t belong in deserts...
Previously: The GSP is apparently lurking somewhere inside Grey’s apartment, and still manages to not kill anyone. Ana and Grey flee and stay in a hotel where Ana gets Grey...
Previously: Ana once again demonstrated her terrible sense of priorities by choosing shit-beating over being worshiped. She and Grey attend the most nonsensically elaborate charity ball ever. After, they find...
Sweeney: Happy Friday, Traumateers! This is something of a half-assed post, because it’s the holidays and we’re feeling extra lazy and entitled to our laziness. It’s you know, the usual:...
Previously: Ana attends a charity event hosted by Grey’s parents with balls in her vagina. That’s not a metaphor for anything; there were actual balls in her vagina. — Lorraine:...
Sweeney: Hello, Traumateers! We’ve been having lots of holiday fun, but what with today being the hypothetical apocalypse and all, we figured that there was no better way to celebrate...
Previously: Ana called Grey out for taking her to a salon in his Empire of Domestic Violence Emporiums, but when the Ghost of Submissives Past got a gun, he insisted...
Previously: We found out that the Christian Grey Empire of Domestic Violence Emporiums has three salons. FANCY. Lorraine: Ana is trying get information from the receptionist and confirms that the...
Previously: Christian Grey upped his own stalker game by buying the company where Ana works. Ana briefly expressed valid, genuine concern, but then he smiled at her and she reverted...
Previously: Grey wins Ana back with threats of violence and a pre-loaded iPad full of the songs he probably listened to while sitting outside her window. — Lorraine: Ana says...
Previously: Ana was unable to function following their break-up. Grey abducted her and, in keeping with the ridiculous timeline of this relationship, the break-up lasted five days. — Sweeney: After...
Previously: EL James does not include any sort of recap in chapter one of this book. Even J.K. Rowling reminds us in every book that Harry Potter is a wizard....