Sweeney: Happy Friday, Traumateers! This is something of a half-assed post, because it’s the holidays and we’re feeling extra lazy and entitled to our laziness. It’s you know, the usual:...
Previously: Ana attends a charity event hosted by Grey’s parents with balls in her vagina. That’s not a metaphor for anything; there were actual balls in her vagina. — Lorraine:...
Sweeney: Hello, Traumateers! We’ve been having lots of holiday fun, but what with today being the hypothetical apocalypse and all, we figured that there was no better way to celebrate...
Previously: Ana called Grey out for taking her to a salon in his Empire of Domestic Violence Emporiums, but when the Ghost of Submissives Past got a gun, he insisted...
Previously: We found out that the Christian Grey Empire of Domestic Violence Emporiums has three salons. FANCY. Lorraine: Ana is trying get information from the receptionist and confirms that the...
Previously: Christian Grey upped his own stalker game by buying the company where Ana works. Ana briefly expressed valid, genuine concern, but then he smiled at her and she reverted...
Previously: Grey wins Ana back with threats of violence and a pre-loaded iPad full of the songs he probably listened to while sitting outside her window. — Lorraine: Ana says...
Previously: Ana was unable to function following their break-up. Grey abducted her and, in keeping with the ridiculous timeline of this relationship, the break-up lasted five days. — Sweeney: After...
Previously: EL James does not include any sort of recap in chapter one of this book. Even J.K. Rowling reminds us in every book that Harry Potter is a wizard....
Sweeney:As we bring our Fifty Shades of hell to a close, we needed to have a proper celebration. With drinking. This book has induced a lot of drinking. While we...
Lorraine: A large portion of the traffic on SS.com comes from keyword searches, specifically from people I imagine are looking for legitimate information about Fifty Shades of Grey. I get...
Previously: Ana returns to Seattle just in time to have sex in a hallway, sex in the shower and sex in the Red Room. That last one happened with a...
Previously: Grey crashes Ana’s family vacation, the couple tragically survive a flight in a glider, and Grey reveals that letting Ana buy pancakes from IHOP would be a threat to...
Previously: Grey behaved like himself and stalked Ana to her mom’s house. Also, Stalker Boyfriend was born. Sweeney: The chapter begins with Ana in a cage. Since the last chapter...
Previously: Ana goes to Georgia to get some space from Christian, so naturally he follows her there. Because that’s the kind of man he is. — Lorraine: Guys. I...